Authors: Fleur Beale
Being Magdalene (23 page)
The vows they made to each other were different from Faith ones, and as Daniel spoke the words to Xanthe I remembered how he had been supposed to become betrothed to a Faith girl. I shut my eyes to shake away the image of him and Esther stumbling
from the stage, his blood staining her blouse, but the memory was faint now and I knew it would no longer haunt me. I turned my attention to the present.
‘Xanthe, I love you with all my heart. I promise to walk by your side through our lives together until death parts us.’
‘Daniel, you are the love and joy of my life. I promise to walk by your side until death parts us.’
Xanthe’s mother beamed at them throughout the ceremony. Her father had to wipe his eyes. Her three brothers high-fived her as she walked back down the aisle with her husband.
Outside the church, the grandmothers handed us baskets of rose petals to throw over our brother and his wife. Three red ones settled on Xanthe’s bright head.
We followed the bride and groom to the dining room where there were balloons and ribbons, food and laughter. One day I might have a wedding like this, or I might choose not to be married. As yet, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. There was plenty of time to find out.
All of us had things to look forward to — maybe even Rachel did as well. Her narrow life was a little freer now, but I knew it wasn’t free enough for me.
Every day I was finding out about how to be Magdalene — the real Magdalene, not the Faith one. I was blessed to be living a life of my own making.
Fleur Beale is the award-winning author of more than fifty books for children and young adults, which have been published in New Zealand, the United States, the United Kingdom and Germany.
In 2012, she won the Margaret Mahy Medal for her outstanding contribution to children’s writing. In the 2009 LIANZA Children’s Book Awards, she won the Esther Glen Award for a distinguished contribution to children’s literature for
Juno of Taris
, and
Fierce September
won the young adult category in the 2011 NZ Post Children’s Book Awards as well as the LIANZA Young Adult Award in 2011.
Fleur is the only writer to have twice won the Storylines Gaelyn Gordon Award for a Much-loved Book, with
Slide the Corner
in 2007, and
I am not Esther
in 2009. In 2015 she was made an Officer of the New Zealand Order of Merit. A former high-school teacher, Fleur now lives in Wellington, New Zealand.
I am Rebecca
(2014)
Speed Freak
(2013)
The Boy in the Olive Grove
(2012)
Dirt Bomb
(2011)
Heart of Danger
(2011)
Fierce September
(2010)
Sins of the Father
(2009)
End of the Alphabet
(2009)
Juno of Taris
(2008)
The Transformation of Minna Hargreaves
(2007)
A Respectable Girl
(2006)
I am not Esther
(1998)
A classic bestseller that’s been in print for close to two decades, this gripping young-adult thriller follows a teenage girl caught in a religious cult.
Imagine that your mother tells you she’s going away. She is going to leave you with relatives you’ve never heard of — and they are members of a strict religious cult. Your name is changed, and you are forced to follow the severe set of social standards set by the cult. There is no television, no radio, no newspaper. No mirrors. You must wear long, modest clothes. You don’t know where your mother is, and you are beginning to question your own identity.
I am not Esther
is an enthralling and utterly compelling portrait of a teenager going through her worst nightmare.
I am not Esther
won an Honour Award in the 1999 New Zealand Post Children’s Book Awards, features in
1001 Books You Must Read Before You Grow Up
and won the 2009 Storylines Gaelyn Gordon Award for a Much-loved Book.
When she turns fourteen, Rebecca will find out who she is to marry. All the girls in her strict religious sect must be married just after their sixteenth birthday.
Her twin sister, Rachel, desperately wants to marry the boy she’s given her heart to. All Rebecca wants is to have a husband who is kind. Both girls know the choice is not theirs to make.
But what will the future hold for Rebecca? Is there a dark side to the rules which have kept her safe? Can the way ahead be so simple when the community is driven by secrets and hidden desires?
The sequel to Fleur Beale’s internationally acclaimed bestseller
I am not Esther, I am Rebecca
continues the story of the Pilgrim family and the cult community the Children of the Faith. Powerful and tautly written, in 2015
I am Rebecca
was hailed as a Storylines Notable Book and won the LIANZA Librarians’ Choice Award.
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First published by Penguin Random House New Zealand, 2015
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Text copyright © Fleur Beale, 2015
The moral right of the author has been asserted
All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.
Design by Carla Sy © Penguin Random House New Zealand
Cover photograph by Mark Owen / Trevillion Images
Author photograph by Chris Coad
Printed and bound in Australia by Griffin Press, an Accredited ISO AS/NZS 14001 Environmental Management Systems Printer.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the National Library of New Zealand.
ISBN 978-1-77553-767-0
eISBN 978-1-77553-768-7
The assistance of Creative New Zealand towards the production of this book is gratefully acknowledged by the publisher.