Being Shirley (25 page)

“The Girl from Ipanema.”

“Yes, except maybe she is not like in the song so young.”

Annie bit her lip, determined to keep her promise not to laugh.

“But still, one thing, it leads to another because she is not happy and I know how to make her happy.” He gave a few thrusts of his hips and Annie felt a bubbling rise up in her throat which she swallowed furiously because Alexandros was serious.

“So we have a thing for a while and it is good but you know she is married and then one day she tells me she must try one last time to make it work with her husband. I am sad but I respect her decision and so I decide the time has come for me to go home and help my mama. She is telling me all the time, ‘Alexandrosaki, come home.’” His high-pitched dramatic pleading was such a good imitation of his mama’s voice that Annie couldn’t help but omit a laugh this time and he grinned ruefully across at her. “This is what she is like—you have seen her for yourself—and she is getting older, you know, so I feel guilty sometimes that I am not here. There is no longer a woman to keep me in Brazil, so I do what she wants and I come home.”

Annie wondered if he meant “keep” literally as it dawned on her that he had come home under duress from his mama and not just to freeload as Kassia assumed.

“I love my family and my home but I don’t want to be here. I am in the way. Spiros, Kassia, and the boys—they are making their life here but it is not for me. There is not room for me too.”

“Oh, Alexandros, that’s not true!” Even as she said it, she realised he was right. He was a lot more insightful than Kas gave him credit for, Annie realised and he was in the tricky position of wanting to keep his ageing mother happy but at the same time wanting to live his own life.

“It is fine, Annie. Don’t look so sad. I can visit and that is the way it should be.”

“So what will you do?”

“I will be the selfish son they expect me to be and I will leave. Mama, she will be fine with Spiros, Kassia, and her grandsons. I know this now so I can leave without a heavy heart. My friend, she has written to tell me it has not worked with her husband and the marriage, it is over. She has asked me to come back to Rio to be with her, so at the end of the month I will go to her.”

Kassia had read her brother-in-law well, in so much as this was exactly what she predicted he would do. On the other hand, part of the reason he was going was to make an easier life for her and her family. It was something she needed to know.

“Have you mentioned your plans to Mama?”

“Mama-mou, no. I know I will make her sad.” His sigh came from deep down and Annie knew it was genuine. “I will tell her soon when I feel the time is right.”

Annie wondered fleetingly whether his feelings for this woman went deeper than that of just a free ride. She suspected not and that the only woman he really loved was his mama.
Yes
, she thought,
he would move on from his woman in Brazil when another offer came along but she harboured no bad wishes towards him
. Alexandros was who he was, and at least he didn’t pretend to be something he wasn’t. Sure, he wrapped his words in pretty packaging but if you could see past the wrapping, he didn’t lie or make false promises, so good luck to him. She spontaneously kissed him on the cheek. He had revealed a hidden depth beneath the shallow surface tonight and she had a newfound respect for him.

It was a very different journey back to Eleni’s from the exhilarating ride of earlier. Alexandros drove more sedately as befitted his spent mood and as they neared home, he slowed and came to a stop a few hundred metres away from the guesthouse, which was shrouded in darkness. The sea was a flat black blanket on their right and in the not so far distance, Annie could hear somebody murdering a Spice Girls song. Figures bobbed about in the brightly lit bar up the road where the karaoke was in full swing and she watched with amusement as a couple staggered out of the bar and onto the street illuminated by a street light.
They’d both be under the weather in the morning
, she thought with a stirring of sympathy. She’d been there, done that. As for Mrs
Stop Right There, Thank You Very Much,
she deserved all she got after she’d inflicted that earache on people.

“I will wheel the bike from here so we don’t wake anyone,” Alexandros said as she got off and walked on the pavement alongside him.

“Good idea, although how anyone can sleep through that ruckus I don’t know.” She, however, did not want to be responsible for alerting any of the guests or members of the Bikakis family as to her and Alexandros’s nocturnal shenanigans.

As he pushed the bike up the driveway, a sensor light came on and Annie waited conspicuously under it by the front door while Alexandros stowed the bike around the side of the house. He came back round the corner and fished in his pocket for the key. He unlocked the door and held a finger to his lips to signal she needed to be quiet as he crept inside. With a nod that the coast was clear, he shut the door behind her before he turned to whisper, “Goodnight, Annie.” His breath tickled her ear and then he kissed her goodnight. They both knew it would be the last kiss they would ever share.

“Goodnight, Alexandros.” She held her hand to his cheek for a moment and smiled at him fondly before she watched him tiptoe down the hallway with a marked effort not to stand on any squeaky boards and give the game away.

Annie ducked round the corner to her little room under the stairs but paused with her hand on the doorknob for a moment. She wasn’t tired; if anything, she was wired from the night’s events so perhaps she should go and make a warm milk. It might help her to wind down. She decided that was a better option than gazing at the ceiling for the next foreseeable few hours, so Annie crept down to the kitchen. She pushed open the kitchen door, patted the wall to feel for the light switch and flicked it on. As the room was flooded with light, it took all her strength not to scream because sitting at the table with her head in her hands was Kassia.

“My God, Kas, you nearly gave me a heart attack! What were you doing sitting here in the dark like that?” Annie’s hand flew to her chest as she steadied her breathing.

“I couldn’t sleep like you, although I think maybe for very different reasons, yes?” Kassia looked her friend up and down. Her demeanour was that of someone who had been disappointed. She was in her night dress, Annie noticed, a chaste white cotton number, as she skulked over like a scarlet woman to the table to sit down opposite her friend. She had obviously heard her and Alexandros come in. “I, uh—”

She waved her hand. “It’s none of my business but I don’t want you to be hurt, Annie. I am just surprised that you too have succumbed to Alexandros’s charms when you know what he is like. You have seen it for yourself. What about his friend, the big boobie one with the blonde hair?” Kassia cupped her hands a fair way out from her own ample breasts to demonstrate the scale of what she was talking about and Annie had to smile.

“Her name was Sharon, and I still can’t get over the fact her breasts were actually real. They defied gravity.” Annie shook her head. “As for what happened between Alexandros and I tonight being none of your business, Kas, well, as my friend
it is
your business. I haven’t succumbed to his charms either. Well, not exactly.”

Kassia tucked her hair behind her ears and Annie noticed her eyes were puffy and red. Surely she wasn’t
that
upset by what had happened between her and Alexandros. They were both consenting adults, after all.

“It’s just that I don’t want you to leave because of him. He will leave, anyway—I know this—but you, if you feel you have made a mistake or—” She sniffed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. “Maybe you will want more than a man like him will give you and then you decide to go home. I don’t want you to go. I need you here.” She looked very young sitting there in her nightdress with her trembling bottom lip. Annie reached across the table and rested her hand on top of her friend’s.

“I’m not going anywhere, Kas, not for a good while yet. I love it here, I love you and Spiros and the boys and Mama and—” She didn’t think adding Alexandros to her list would go down well. “Well, you get the idea and just so you know, I have no plans of heading off anywhere, at least not until you all get really sick of me and then maybe I will think about packing my bags.”

She raised a weak smile and Annie decided she needed to clarify what had happened between her and Alexandros before she got to the bottom of what had upset her so much that she was sitting up at this late hour crying.

“You know, Alexandros and I, we pretty much used each other tonight, which was fine by me because I needed to move on from Tony. As for him, well, he just wanted to throw a leg over. It was nice, too—better than nice actually—” A dreamy look came over her face and Kassia pulled a face.

“Don’t worry—it didn’t mean anything and it won’t happen again. There won’t be any weird atmosphere tomorrow, either. I promise you, we are both cool about it.” Now was not the time to confirm that Kas was right, Alexandros would soon be leaving. Besides, that was his news to tell, not hers. She did want Kas to know that he wasn’t quite the man she had painted him to be, though. “There’s more to him than what you think, though, you know.”

She raised a dark sceptical eyebrow. “So you
have
fallen for his charms then.”

“No—well, not like that. What I mean is that if you scratch a little deeper and get past all that smooth Romeo stuff, there is actually quite a nice man lurking there. A man, who despite his shortcomings, really loves his family. He’s only here because of Mama pleading with him to come home. Did you know that?”

“Pah, this is what he has told you so he can, as you say, throw the leg over. I know there was a woman involved in his decision to come back here, though—there always is. As for Mama, I do not want to talk about her.” Her face closed.

Annie could see this was a discussion she was not going to get very far with and she had just been given her first clue as to why Kas was upset. “Okay, so forget Alexandros for a moment and tell me what has had you so upset tonight?”

Her expression crumpled and she ducked her head so her dark hair tumbled over her face. Annie stared at her friend in alarm. This was not the strong, feisty Kas she knew. She walked around the table to put a comforting arm around her. She gave her shoulder a firm squeeze. “Come on, tell me—what is it? What’s wrong?”

She didn’t answer at first but sniffed loudly before she straightened herself and swiped angrily at her nose once again.

“Hang on a sec. I’ll get you a tissue.” Annie released her grip and headed over to grab the box that sat on top of the fridge. She pulled a handful of tissues out and thrust them at her. “Here, you go give your nose a good old blow.” The words echoed her own mother’s cure for tears.

Kassia noisily did as she was told and then crumpled the sodden wad into a ball. “I’m sorry, Annie. All I have done since you have been here is moan to you that I am unhappy. It is not what you came here for, I know that.”

“It’s not moaning; it is expressing your feelings.” Annie’s reply caused Kassia’s mouth to twitch. “Anyway, friends listen.” She angled her chair so that she could see her friend’s face from beneath all that dark hair. “That’s what friends do. How many times over the years have I poured mine out to you? Now it is my turn to listen.”

“That is different because I think you had every right to, how you are saying—pour your feelings out. Losing Roz, your sister, that was big and I never did anything—not really, except keep in touch.”

“Exactly. You kept in touch; you never drifted away once I found you. You were there, never judging, and knowing you were only ever an email away meant so much. I could tell you anything. You were like my own online counsellor because you always listened and never once told me to pull my socks up and get on with things. You and Carl were the only people I could be entirely honest with. I don’t know how I would have made it through without you both.”

“So tell me now, do you think you have made it through?”

“I think that for the first time since Roz died, I feel at peace with what happened. The anger I held on to for all those years has finally gone. You know, for so long I wondered what I could have done to make things turn out differently. Sometimes I’d play these dumb mind games where I’d tell myself that maybe if I hadn’t pinched her make-up or tried on her clothes when she was out, if I hadn’t been so annoying then maybe she would still be here—no, Kas, sit down. I’m okay because I finally get it. She made her own choices and I have to be strong enough to make mine. I think she bought me to Greece for that reason. To prove to me that I could take a different path than the one I was on, like she should have done.”

“You have found your Yanni, yes?”

Annie smiled. “Well said.”

“I, too, would not mind finding Yanni. I like it when he wears those white trousers of his.”

“Ugh, Kas!”

“Sorry but I was always with Roz on that one.”

Annie shook the spectre of the musician’s white pants away. “That’s enough about me and Yanni. If you are upset like this, then whatever the problem is, it can’t be trivial. I shared with you; now it’s your turn to spill.”

“Ah, but you see that is the problem, Annie—it is trivial. It is all of these trivial little things that have got bigger and bigger and then tonight KABOOM! Spiros and I had a fight.”

At last they had gotten to the crux of what had her in a state. “What about?”

“It was stupid.”

“Well, talking about it might help and then I can tell you just how stupid the fight was and that all couples do it from time to time in order to make up because we all know that’s the fun part.” She smiled encouragingly at her friend, who graced her with a watery one in return.

“See, I told you I need you. You always make me smile and not just because you have a big red rash all over your chin.”

Annie’s hand flew up to her chin; it felt tender. Oh dear, the dreaded pash-rash. That would be a tricky one to explain away tomorrow.

Kassia’s smile was more defined this time. “Don’t worry, we will say you were doing the waxing and then you have an allergic reaction.”

“No! I am not having everyone thinking I have a beard.”

Kassia began to giggle. “Redbeard.”

“It was Bluebeard, actually, and that was a horrible story. He murdered all his wives.” She fished around for a suitable cover story but nothing sprang to mind.

“Alright then, we will say you have had an allergic reaction to your sun cream—yes?”

“Excellent—an allergy! That’s a good one, thanks, Kas. Now, are you going to tell me about your fight or would you like me to make us a hot drink before we head off to bed?”

“Both please.”

“Okay, you talk and I’ll heat some milk.”

Annie set about pouring milk into a pan to warm while Kassia talked. “Spiros came down to the beach after you left.”

“Yes, I saw him.” Annie decided to add a sprinkle of cinnamon from the little packet she had just spied on the shelf to her sweetened brew.

“Well, I told him that I feel I cannot be my own woman here. I told him that it is not working.”

Annie turned away from the stove to look at her friend, startled. She could well imagine how that had gone.

“He told me this problem with his family, it is mine and that I have to stop blaming him for us being here. He blames himself enough for both of us. He said I need to learn to compromise with Mama, and I said in other words he wasn’t man enough to tell his mama to leave us to raise the boys our way.” At Annie’s expression, she added, “The words, they came out of my mouth before I could stop them. Spiros, he said I was a selfish woman who didn’t know how lucky she was to have gotten the second chance we have had here at Eleni’s with his mama when there are families that are really struggling in Athens.” Her voice trailed off and she chewed her thumbnail in agitation before she pulled what was left of the ragged nail off. “I know this and I hate that we had no choice. It was taken away from us when he lost his job. I have been so angry at him but at the same time I know this is wrong because it wasn’t his fault.”

Annie poured the milk into two mugs. “I can understand you feeling like that, powerless, but I don’t think it is Spiros you are angry with. I think it is just the situation you found yourselves in.”

“I know you are right. It is a frightening thing to have your life as you know it taken away from you, and Spiros, he did not cope well at the time. That was horrible for me because he has always been my, my—” She looked frustrated.

“Rock.”

“My rock, yes, and then one day,” she clicked her fingers, “just like that, it all changes.”

“It must have been so hard for him to come home and tell you he had lost his job.” Annie recalled the email she’d had from Kas telling her what had happened. She’d thought at the time that it must have been tough, what with her at home with a young child and a baby on the way. How unfair the situation they’d found themselves in, along with thousands of others judging by what the news reports at home had stated. She hadn’t thought about the emotional impact that she could see etched clearly on Kas’s face now, though, not once.

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you more. I just didn’t understand.”

“It is not your fault, Annie. It is our life here in Greece at the moment. It is the times we live in and we were luckier than most—Spiros, the boys, and I—to have Eleni’s to come to. I just have to find a way to make it work.”

“You need to tell Spiros you love him.”

“I know. I wanted to earlier but he walked off. He did not want to hear it.”

Annie sat down and pushed Kassia’s drink across the table to her. “And you haven’t talked since?”

“No but we are being polite to each other, you know?”

Annie did know that horrible, stiff politeness that meant neither of you was going to back down and that words had been said that couldn’t be retracted without the distance of a night’s sleep.

She took a sip of her warm, sweet drink. “It will be different in the morning after a good night’s sleep, you’ll see.”

Kassia frowned into her drink. “That’s another thing. I won’t sleep. I never do when things aren’t right between us but he will be snoring like a, a—”

“Log,” Annie supplied just as she had for Mama. It felt like a lifetime ago now when she had asked her how she had slept that first morning she had been put to work helping with the guests’ breakfasts.

“Yes, like a log.”

“Typical man.” Annie recalled the very same situation with Tony. It had always irked her how he could shelve the fight, put it aside until the morning while she would brood on it all night long And play out imaginary comebacks in her head over and over so that she’d wake tired and frazzled. She sipped on her drink and closed her eyes for a moment.

“You are tired.”

“A little.” Annie opened her eyes.

“It is all that sex.”

“You are probably right.” Annie smiled over the rim of her mug. “And you look worn–out, Kas.”