Believe Like a Child (11 page)
A
lessa’s job at the Dollar Store was far from exciting. Brady, the manager, was a big asshole, just like the girls had warned. He would slither through the store, bossing them around, yelling that everything they were doing was wrong. He was a useless piece of shit and they all despised him. He would often tell Alessa, “Your tits are too small. Too bad you ain’t got a pair of knockers like the other girls.” She hated him, but knew he was harmless. He was just an obnoxious pig on a power trip, because his biggest accomplishment in life was becoming the manager at the Dollar Store.
Alessa knew that power changed people. It made them want to have total control over others. Brady was just like her Uncle Danny and even her mother, Caterina; they were each busy positioning themselves as a master puppeteer of those they perceived as weak. Alessa wondered what people like them got out of being cruel and manipulative. She told herself that someday, if she did come into a position of power, she would make sure she did not abuse it. On the contrary, she would use it to help people. Until that time came, though she doubted it ever would, she would just focus on the positive. The job at the Dollar Store was paying her rent and keeping her fed. For now, that would have to be good enough. She was proud that she was living on her own. And now, with Tasha as her friend, it seemed that she could even enjoy life a little too.
They hung out every night after Alessa finished her shift at the Dollar Store and they savored each other’s company. In the months that had passed since Alessa first arrived in the neighborhood, Tasha had become her new family. She checked in with Zoe less frequently now, but was relieved to learn that there was no manhunt on to find her. Zoe had assured her that she was better off without her rotten family anyway.
Meanwhile, Zoe was still struggling to come to terms with her daughter’s death. Even over the phone, Alessa could tell from her tone that her friend’s mother was beginning to lose it. She had become a total recluse and had stopped “dating” altogether. Alessa still loved her and would never ever forget what she had done to help her in her hour of dire need. She felt guilty that Zoe had done all she could to help her move on, but was now in a situation where she couldn’t help herself. Alessa felt impelled to do something for her and return the favor, but Zoe insisted that there was nothing the young girl could do.
“The only good thing to come out of Rhonda’s death,” she told her, “is that I was able to help free you of the chains that had bound you since you were a little girl. Let me take joy in that, Alessa. You have helped me by making me feel I have done something worthy for another person.”
Alessa tried her best to avoid all the riffraff on the streets of North Philadelphia. She minded her own business and was careful not to make eye contact with anyone. Her senses were on red alert when she walked to and from the city bus stop. For the most part, she was left alone, aside from the occasional hooting and hollering that was directed at her, as she passed crowds of men or boys who always seemed to be drinking or smoking pot. Even Lea, Alessa discovered gradually, had a softer side to her personality that emerged in the girl’s presence. Instead of the usual grunt with which she had acknowledged her new tenant earlier, the old lady actually greeted Alessa now when she ran into her. The other tenants at Lea’s house were older and kept to themselves. Their aloofness filled Alessa with a sense of relief because of her persistent anxiety about people asking her more questions about herself than she could comfortably answer without giving her past away. Until she turned eighteen, she preferred to remain inconspicuous, to fly below the radar; she couldn’t risk drawing attention to herself and ending up being sent back home.
Now that Lea knew that neither Alessa nor her friend would cause any trouble, she even allowed Tasha to go up to her apartment. When Tasha first saw in what miserable conditions her friend was living, she felt sorrier for her than she ever had. At the same time, she developed the greatest respect for Alessa’s ability to adapt herself to her circumstances and surroundings.
One night, while the two friends were having dinner, Tasha announced, “I’m leaving on a trip with my parents in a couple of days. We’re going to Atlanta to visit my aunt. I’ll be gone for two weeks. Sure wish I could take you with me.”
“That’s okay,” Alessa laughed. “I need all my hours at work, but I’ll certainly miss you while you’re gone.”
The girls had been inseparable since Alessa’s seventeenth birthday. They did everything together. Alessa even hung out with Tasha while she was selling weed on the street.
Once Tasha had left for Atlanta, Alessa realized how accustomed she had grown to having her around. One night after work, she stopped at the Dauphin Mini Mart to pick up some groceries. When she came out of the store, Tag and his boys were standing across the street. Alessa immediately stepped up her pace so she could get back to her apartment without any trouble. As she passed by an open lot between row homes, however, she caught a movement out of the corner of her eye. Before she knew it, the boys had grabbed her from behind and were dragging her to the trash-strewn lot. It was pitch dark and not a soul could be seen in the vicinity. As she tried to anticipate the kind of torture that might be in store for her, Alessa’s heart sank. Her stomach twisted with fear and revulsion as she remembered the boys telling her on the bus that if she puked the next time, they would make her eat her own vomit.
When they finally came to a stop, Alessa noticed they were now at the empty lot; there were six guys standing around her. They stared at her with contempt as she pleaded with them to let her go, offering all the money she had on her which was just 14 dollars. Tag made his way to the front of the group and stared down at her. There was no sign of a human being behind the dead brown eyes that took in the small world around him with a frighteningly vacant expression.
“Lift your skirt up, bitch!” he spat at her. “We want to pick up where we left off. I wanna see that sweet pussy we missed out on the last time.”
Alessa began to cry, begging them, between sobs, not to hurt her. With one swift gesture of his head, two of Tag’s boys seized her by the shoulders, wrestled her to the ground and pinned her down. Tag dropped to his knees, dragged up her denim skirt till it was bunched around her waist and ripped her panties off with one hand. As Alessa struggled to get free, he punched her in the left eye. She flinched from the blow, hitting her head hard against the ground and lost consciousness for what couldn’t have been more than a minute. When she opened her eyes again, her shirt and her bra had been torn off her body. She lay there helplessly for a moment, naked and exposed for everyone to gape at. Then she began begging and pleading again to be left alone. The boys, however, seemed oblivious to her tearful pleas. She gasped in pain, as Tag mauled her breasts and shoved his fingers brutally between her legs. And it was only when he pulled his fingers out of her, thrust them into his mouth and sucked on them greedily that she realized to her horror what he was about to do.
“Now
that’s
some sweet meat!” he said slowly and deliberately. “Just like I had imagined.”
Tag motioned for his cronies to draw closer. One by one, they jammed their hands between her legs. Then their leader shoved his way to the front again and dropped his pants so that they lay around his ankles.
“Hold the bitch real good!” he ordered the boys. In moments, he had plunged all the way inside her, thrusting further and further into her with such unimaginable violence that Alessa feared he would snuff the very breath out of her. When he had finished, he turned to the heavy boy standing next to him and said, “You’re next, brother.”
The heavy boy dropped his pants, in turn, and said, “Sit the bitch up.”
Alessa saw that his penis was peppered with open sores the size of a pencil eraser, oozing milky white fluid. The boy had herpes. She screamed in revulsion and began to squirm, struggling to free herself.
“Bitch,” the boy bit out, “you gonna need to suck my dick, ’cause I don’t want my brothers here gettin’ none of this shit one of those nasty fuckin’ whores gave me. That way, they can all get a good fuck in, when I’m done.”
Alessa clenched her teeth and locked her lips shut, trying desperately to break free once again. Just as another boy was bending down to force her mouth open, she heard the roar of angry voices coming down the street. She wasn’t sure if she believed in God anymore, but Alessa now closed her eyes and began to pray for help.
When she opened her eyes again, the first person she saw was Harlin. The rest of his gang was coming up quickly behind him. Harlin had his gun out and pointing at her tormentors. Tag and his boys froze in their tracks and looked back at the other group. Harlin walked over to the boy who had his penis close to Alessa’s face. Before he could react, Harlin’s left hand had come up and the blade of the knife he was gripping had sliced through the boy’s stomach. Then with a sharp motion, he pulled the blade upward right into his victim’s chest. The boy collapsed on the ground in a heap of flesh, his still-pulsating guts spilling out of his stomach, the torn intestines unable to hold in his feces.
Harlin looked at Tag. “What’s going on here, motherfucker?” he asked. “You assholes having fun?”
“Listen man, we don’t fuck with any of your stuff,” the other guy said defensively. “Me and my boys here are just lettin’ off a little steam. What the fuck do you care? She ain’t nothin’ to you. I should fuckin’ kill you for killing my boy here!”
“Oh yeah? Come on, you worthless piece of shit! Let me see you try!” With that, Harlin raised the gun in his right hand and placed its muzzle hard against Tag’s temple. His gang of boys instantly took up position, their guns on the ready.
Tag threw his hands up in a gesture of surrender. “All right, man! I fuckin’ get it, okay? Take that motherfucking gun away from my head!”
Harlin lowered the gun and grasped Tag by the collar. He pointed to Alessa. “You see that bitch there?” he said. “She’s with me, motherfucker. If I ever see you or any of your crew near her again, I will hunt you down, one by one, and cut your fucking dicks off. You’ll wish, then, that I had sliced you open quick, like I did your fat friend here. I’ll make sure your death is a slow, painful one. Do you understand me?”
Tag pulled himself free of Harlin. “Yeah,” he muttered, “I understand.”
His boys hefted their dead comrade off the ground and carried him out toward the street.
Alessa was shaking so hard by now that her teeth chattered. Harlin looked down at her, then took off his shirt and wrapped it around her. He motioned to two of his friends who picked her up and carried her the few blocks to Harlin’s house. Harlin instructed them to lay her on the mattress in the second bedroom. Alessa was still crying and trembling. She was so shaken, her mouth couldn’t even form words; she just kept looking at all the boys with wide, terrified eyes.
A few minutes later, Harlin walked into the room with a blanket and told the others to go out into the living room and wait for him. He covered Alessa with the blanket and sat down on the mattress beside her. He talked to her softly, assuring her repeatedly that she was all right, that she was safe, until she had calmed down. Alessa didn’t feel all right, but instinct told her she was safe with Harlin.
“What did they do to you, before we got there?” he asked gently.
Alessa answered in a quavering voice, “They all stuck their fingers in down there. Then Tag raped me. You walked up just as that fat boy was trying to force me to suck his dick. Harlin, he had herpes sores all over it!” She started to cry again.
Harlin reached out and hugged her comfortingly. “Those little pricks!” He growled. “Don’t you worry. They’ll pay for what they did. If I had known Tag raped you, I would have killed him on the spot. Just happened that we heard the commotion when we were walking down the street. One of my boys said he had seen you at the Mini Mart and noticed those assholes following you. I’m sorry we didn’t get there sooner. Are you okay? You on the pill?”
“I’m okay now,” Alessa responded. “And no, I’m not on the pill. I just finished my period.”
Harlin had no idea what that meant, but took it as a sign that she didn’t think she could get pregnant, although Alessa’s point was that it increased the chances of pregnancy.
“You need a doctor or something?”
Alessa shook her head. There was no way she was going to a doctor or to the police. She wanted this horrible experience to just go away.