Belonging (23 page)

Colin paced outside the cottage, waiting for a word from Dr. Young. Charity sat on a chair on the porch. At last the door opened, and Kathleen came outside. Colin moved toward her. “How is she?”

Kathleen took his hand and looked him in the eyes. “There is nothing seriously wrong with her, Mr. Murphy. She has a cut on her head and some bruises and has taken a chill from being in the river. But I’m sure she fainted because of fright more than anything. All she needs is to rest for a day or two, and she will be right as rain.”

Colin released a breath as he withdrew his hand and leaned his back against the tree that grew near the side of the cottage. “When I saw her go under …” He raked the fingers of his right hand through his hair. “I thought she was gone for good.”

“But she wasn’t. You saved her.” She glanced over her shoulder toward the door. “The doctor will be out in a few minutes. I’ll go back in and stay with her for the afternoon. She shouldn’t be alone until she’s steady on her feet again.”

He gave Kathleen a brief smile. “It was good of you to come over and help Dr. Young.”

“I was talking to Mr. Swanson outside the pharmacy when Charity came for the doctor. When I heard what happened …” She allowed her words to drift into silence.

“You’ve been a good friend to Feli—” He cleared his throat. “To Miss Kristoffersen, right from the first day she got here.”

“I’ve tried to be.” Kathleen brushed her hands over her skirt. “Maybe after you’ve talked to the doctor, you should take Charity to play with my girls for a while. She’s terribly upset. She says Miss Kristoffersen’s accident was her fault.”

“She did?” Colin straightened away from the tree and looked toward the porch again. “She didn’t tell me that.”

“When has she had time to tell you?” Kathleen’s simple words felt like a rebuke, although there was no sting in her tone of voice. “And even if she’d had the time, she might not have said anything to you without some urging.”

“I’d better talk to her now.” He started to move away, but Kathleen stopped him.

“Wait, Mr. Murphy. Please.”

“Yes?”

“I’d like you to know that I’m
your
friend too. You do know
that, don’t you? You could come to me any time. Whatever the need.”

He felt guilty for some reason, although he couldn’t say why. “Yes, I know.” Then he walked toward the porch, leaving Kathleen behind.

TWENTY-TWO

“I’m fine, Kathleen.” Felicia pushed her loose hair over her shoulder. “And I don’t need to stay in bed.”

“But you
will
stay in bed because that’s what the doctor ordered.”

Felicia sighed her frustration. “Well, you needn’t stay. You’ve given up enough of your time already.”

Kathleen sat down on the chair near the bed. “I’ll stay and prepare your dinner. When I’m satisfied you can take care of yourself for the night, I’ll go home.”

“It’s a lot of folderol over nothing.”

“You almost drowned, Felicia. If Mr. Murphy hadn’t come when he did …” Kathleen shook her head slowly. “I hate to think what would have happened to you.”

Felicia shuddered. She hated to think about it too. When she closed her eyes, it seemed as if the water was sweeping over her again. She probably wouldn’t sleep a wink tonight. All the same, she knew she didn’t need anyone to fuss over her. The bruises would heal, as would the cut on her forehead near the hairline. The likelihood of her fainting again was slim to none. She wasn’t the swooning sort. In fact, it embarrassed her to know she’d done so in front of Colin.

“Are you hungry?” Kathleen asked, drawing Felicia’s attention once again.

“Not really.”

“You should eat anyway.”

“Perhaps a slice of bread with butter. With a glass of milk.”

Kathleen frowned. “That isn’t much.”

“It’s all I want. Truly.”

“No wonder you’re so thin.” Kathleen rose from the chair. “But I suppose you know your own mind.” She moved toward the door.

“Kathleen.”

She stopped and looked over her shoulder.

“Thank you. I haven’t seemed very appreciative of your help, and I’m sorry for that. You’ve spent almost the entire day with me, and I … I fear I’m not a very good patient.”

A small smile tipped the corners of Kathleen’s mouth. “It’s what friends do for one another.”

“You’ve known me such a short time.”

“Not all friendships take a long time to grow and deepen. Some are formed in an instant.” Her smile broadened now. “From the moment we met, I knew we were destined to be good friends. I’m not sure why. It’s just the way I felt.”

Now Felicia was embarrassed. How did one respond to such open affection? With children, she knew what to do. But with a friend, woman to woman? It was foreign territory.

“I’ll be right back with your bread and milk.”

Alone in her bedroom, Felicia leaned against the pillows and quickly counted her blessings. She was alive. She hadn’t drowned in the river. Charity hadn’t been harmed—how much worse it would have been if Charity had gone into the river instead of Felicia! Colin had arrived before her strength gave out. She hadn’t been badly hurt. She wouldn’t miss any days in the classroom and
wouldn’t lose any pay. The doctor’s fee wasn’t terribly high. Kathleen was her friend, meaning Felicia no longer had to feel that she was all alone in the world. So much to be grateful for.

Thank You, Lord. I don’t deserve Your many blessings.

A short while later, Kathleen returned with a tray. On it was a glass of milk and a thick slice of bread spread with butter. She set the tray on a small bedside table before settling once again on the nearby chair.

Felicia laughed softly. “You’re going to stay until I eat every last crumb, aren’t you?”

“You’re learning.”

Felicia took the tray onto her lap, then lifted the bread and took a bite.

Kathleen nodded her approval.

Swallowing, Felicia said, “I’m glad we’re friends.”

“Me too.”

“When I first arrived in Frenchman’s Bluff, I hoped I might become friends with Mrs. Murphy. I didn’t know my landlord was a widower. Funny, isn’t it? That it will happen that way after all.”

Kathleen’s head tipped a little to one side, a puzzled look pinching her brow. “What do you mean?”

“You and I are already friends, and when you marry, I shall, indeed, be the friend of Mrs. Murphy.”

“What on earth? Oh dear.”

Realizing her mistake, Felicia tried to think of something to say to cover her blunder. She drew a blank.

“The whole town must think I’ve chased after him shamelessly.” Kathleen lowered her gaze to a spot on the floor, her expression distressed.

“No. I’m sure you’re wrong. No one thinks that.”

“Then why would you assume we’re to marry?”

“Aren’t you?”

The other woman shook her head.

“I wouldn’t tell another soul if it were true.”

“But it isn’t true,” Kathleen said softly.

What could Felicia say to that outright denial? She’d already betrayed one confidence. True, it was a confidence she shouldn’t have been given to begin with, but she’d promised Helen Summerville she would keep the secret. She didn’t want to be the cause of friction between Kathleen and her mother-in-law, nor did she wish to give Helen another reason to dislike her.

Finally, Felicia managed to say, “I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m sorry.”

“It isn’t your fault. It’s my own.” Kathleen drew a shaky breath. “But let’s not talk about it. Let’s talk about you instead. Why haven’t you married? Surely there must have been some young men in Wyoming who were interested.”

She thought of Rolf and his brothers and subdued a shudder. “None I would wish to marry.”

Her friend raised an eyebrow, silently encouraging her to continue.

“I did have some gentlemen callers when I was at normal school, but there wasn’t anyone special. No one who made me want to give up being a teacher and making my own way.” She shook her head. “It seems to me that most men—too many of them, anyway—want a wife to keep their house and give birth to their heirs and nothing more. But what about a woman’s mind? Can’t we think for ourselves? Can’t we contribute to society? Why should we have to be subject to the whims of men simply because we were born female? I could never live like that.”

“My goodness, Felicia. You have a rather harsh opinion of men.”

She felt color rise in her cheeks.

“Haven’t you ever been in love?”

The question brought an unwelcome image to Felicia’s mind—Colin Murphy, holding her close as his tall buckskin cantered along a road. She shook her head, both in answer to Kathleen’s question and in an effort to chase Colin from her thoughts.

“Never? Not even a little bit?”

Felicia sat a little straighter in the bed. “The farm where I grew up was remote. The only young men I saw regularly were my cousins.” That was skirting the truth a bit.

“Well, if you ever
do
fall in love,” Kathleen said, “I wager it will change your mind about men
and
marriage.”

Colin and his horse tried to force their way back into Felicia’s thoughts. She resolutely pushed them back.

As if in response, she heard his voice saying, “Hello inside. May I come in?”

Colin waited outside the back door until he heard an invitation to enter the cottage.

“Felicia’s feeling much better,” Kathleen said from the bedroom doorway as she watched him walk toward her through the kitchen.

Removing his hat, Colin stopped before entering the bedroom, and Kathleen took a step to one side. His gaze went to the bed, where Felicia was sitting up, her back against the headboard. She wore a blue robe that matched the color of her eyes, and her hair fell loose around her shoulders, like a honey-colored cloud. On the day she’d arrived, he’d thought her striking but not beautiful. He’d been wrong. Dead wrong. She was beyond beautiful in his eyes.

“Glad to hear you’re all right,” he said before clearing his throat. “You look better than the last time I saw you.”

The instant the words were out of his mouth, he was sorry for them. But then a smile touched the corners of her mouth. He assumed that meant she hadn’t been insulted.

He looked at Kathleen. “I’m going over to get Charity. Is there anything you need from home that I can bring back for you?”

Before Kathleen could answer, Felicia said, “She doesn’t need anything, Mr. Murphy. But you
can
walk her home. I’m not an invalid. I’m able to take care of myself. Take her home so she can enjoy supper with her children.”

The fragile, half-drowned female he’d brought back from the river that morning had vanished. Not a trace of her remained.

Colin cocked a brow at Kathleen.

She nodded. “I’ll walk home with you.”

“Okay.” He set his hat back on his head. “Ready?”

Kathleen went to the bedside. “Are you sure there’s nothing you need before I go?”

“I’m sure.” Felicia took hold of Kathleen’s hand. “Thank you for everything.”

“I was glad to help. And if you do discover you need something, you need only send for me.”

Colin led the way across the kitchen and held the screen door open for her to pass through, then he followed. They fell into step, Colin shortening his stride to match hers. Neither said anything for several minutes. Perhaps they would have remained silent all the way to the Summerville home if not for their many neighbors.

“How’s the schoolmarm doin’?”

“Mighty scary.”

“Came near to drowning, I heard. Thank God we didn’t lose her.”

Each time they were stopped on the sidewalk, Kathleen was quick to issue assurances that Felicia would soon be perfectly fine.
“A little rest is all Miss Kristoffersen needs. You’ll probably see her at church tomorrow.”

Colin felt another rush of relief each time Kathleen said those words. When he recalled the way Felicia had looked as she clung to that branch, her head barely above water, and later at home, sopping wet, strands of hair clinging to her damp skin, her face as white as a sheet, her eyes rolling back as her body went limp—the memory caused his heart to catch every time.

At last, they reached the Summerville residence. Colin put his fingers beneath the elbow of Kathleen’s right arm as they climbed the steps to the porch.

“Mr. Murphy.” She stopped and turned toward him. “There’s something I think you should know.”

If she was about to tell him there was more wrong with Felicia, then—

“Miss Kristoffersen was under the impression that you and I are to be married.”

“What?”

Kathleen’s hands clenched at her waist and tears flooded her eyes. “It’s my own fault. I’m sure everyone in town knows that I’m fond of you and Charity. And that … that I would be willing to be more than a friend to you.”

Colin removed his hat and raked his fingers through his hair.

“I’m sorry,” she rushed on. “I’ve been much too forward when in your company. You’ve never encouraged me, never led me to believe you felt anything more than friendship. But neither have you been cruel enough to publicly reject me.” The tears slipped from her eyes to trail down her cheeks. “I’m sure the gossips have had a heyday over my behavior.”