Beowulf (29 page)

Authors: Neil Gaiman

BOOK: Beowulf

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96 EXT. KING BEOWULF'S CASTLE ARCH-BRIDGE

THE DRAGON lurches violently toward the womenâ¦and THE ARROW is going to miss its mark. It arcs downwardâ¦falling short, but at the last secondâ¦

BEOWULF swings out his legâ¦allowing THE ARROW to plunge into his calf muscleâ¦

BEOWULF SCREAMS from the pain, but quickly retracts his leg and retrieves the daggerâ¦

Beowulf thrusts the dagger through the dragon's wound! Slashing open the membrane, he STABS THE DAGGER AT THE DRAGON'S HEART!! Butâ¦

Unbelievably, BEOWULF'S REACH IS STILL SHORTâ¦four inches short. He tugs desperately at the chain, stretching his arm and wrist to gain m ore length, but to no availâ¦

In a mad rage, THE DRAGON CHOMPS and bites at the stone wallâ¦sending chunks of rock and stone flyingâ¦

WEALTHOW AND URSULA, terrified, cover their headsâ¦one or two more dragon bites, and the wall will be goneâ¦when suddenlyâ¦

A strange calm comes over Beowulfâ¦he knows what he must doâ¦he reaches the dagger under his chain-mail at his shoulderâ¦and BEGINS CUTTING HIS ARM!!

The pain is excruciating, as Beowulf slices and hacks at his underarmâ¦his blood seeping through the chain mesh.

OLD WIGLAF watches from below, unable to believe what he's witnessingâ¦

THE DRAGON CACKLES with gleeâ¦it rips another huge chunk of stone out of the wallâ¦

WITH A FINAL CUT of the daggerâ¦BEOWULF SEVERS HIS OWN ARM!! He drops
A GOOD FIVE INCHES
, his arm and torso held together by the chain-mail.

KING BEOWULF, now with an expression of serenity on his face like we have never seen, swings on his severed arm and thrusts the dagger into the dragon's throat!!! Butâ¦

At that moment, a torrent of rocks and stone tumble down the dragons gulletâ¦KNOCKING THE DAGGER OUT OF BEOWULF'S HAND!!!!!

BLUE Rev. 2005-09-11 111.

EVERYTHING SHIFTS INTO SLOW MOTION:

Beowulf screams in anguishâ¦

BEOWULF

NNNNAAAAYYYYY!!!!!

THE DRAGON'S FANGS SNAP an inch above Wealthow's headâ¦the two women, now totally exposedâ¦

THE DRAGON'S SHADOW looms over themâ¦moving in for the kill!!

WEALTHOW AND URSULA look up in horror as the dragon's mouth slowly descendsâ¦

OLD WIGLAF, aghast, looks awayâ¦

The air, or perhaps Beowulf's head, is filled with the GOLDEN MAN'S LAUGHTERâ¦something he said in the caveâ¦

DRAGON (V.O.)

(echoing, ghostlike)

How will you hurt
me
, my father? Your fingers? Your teeth? YOUR BARE HANDS?

BEOWULF, in a super human, heroic effortâ¦plunges is arm into the dragon's woundâ¦

THE DRAGON lets out A BELLOW OF PAIN AND FEARâ¦its yellow eye's roll back in its headâ¦asâ¦

KING BEOWULF RIPS OUT THE DRAGON'S HEARTâ¦WITH HIS BAR HAND!!!

The dragon's chin slams down on the remnants of the bridge, inches from the trembling womenâ¦it begins tumbling, wildly, out of control, down and down and downâ¦the rocks and the sea fly up at us, in one long, nightmarish hurtle. Then, with a CRASHâ¦

Beowulf and the Dragon SMASH into the rocks at the edge of the sea.

97 EXT. THE ROCKS

WAVES crash over them both, and when the waves retreat the Dragon has become the Golden Man once more. There's an open wound extending from his neck down to his chest.

DRAGON-MAN

Father?

BLUE Rev. 2005-09-11 112.

Beowulf throws his good arm around his dead son's head, cradling it.

KING BEOWULF

I'm sorryâ¦

And another wave CRASHES over them. When it recedes, Beowulf is alone, mortally wounded, on the rocks. The Golden Man is goneâ¦having been taken by the waves.

King Beowulf's grey hair and face and beard are soaked by the waves, so it's hard to tell if he's crying or not. But he is.

We hear the CRUNCH of boots on pebbles, and Old Wiglaf comes into viewâ¦

OLD WIGLAF

I told you we were too old to be heroes. Let's get you to a healer.

He struggles over to Beowulf and tries to help him, but Beowulf resists.

KING BEOWULF

No. Not this time, old friend.

OLD WIGLAF

You're Beowulf. A little thing like this isn't going to finish you off.

KING BEOWULF

No. I'm done.

(then, he seems to be hallucinating)

Do you hear her?

Wiglaf may not hear itâ¦but we do. It's a far off VOICE SINGING. A haunting song that seems to resonate throughout the land. The Siren Song.

OLD WIGLAF

I hear nothingâ¦

KING BEOWULF

The song. It's Grendel's Mother -- my son's mother -- myâ¦

He stops, distracted by pain, and whether he was going to say “lover” or “mother” or “nemesis” we will never knowâ¦

BLUE Rev. 2005-09-11 113.

OLD WIGLAF

No, lord. Don't say such things. You killed Grendel's mother. When we were young. It's in the sagaâ¦

Beowulf cuts him off with a painful yellâ¦

KING BEOWULF

A LIE!! You know it wasâ¦a lie.

Wiglaf reveals nothing. His face stoic, his eyes enigmatic.

KING BEOWULF (CONT'D)

Too late for lies, Wiglaf. Too late--

And Beowulf is dead.

DISSOLVE TO:

98 EXT. SEA SIDE -- FUNERAL BOAT -- SUNSET

Beowulf's body, looking like an old hero in his fur cape, rests on a pile of golden treasureâ¦on a Viking shipâ¦in full sail.

A scop, the young boy from the first scene, his voice a perfect treble, begins to singâ¦

BOY

(sings)

Across the whale road he came And made our land his hearth and homeâ¦

Four thanes dressed in their finest armor, cast the boat out to the icy sea.

Old Wiglaf stands on a rock out-crop. THE GOLD CROWN of Herot upon his head. Beowulf's crown, and Hrothgar's before him.

Wealthow and Ursula hold hands tightly, united by their grief.

Old Unferth, a broken man, stands holding on to Old Cain's shoulder.

BOY (CONT'D)

(sings)

With glory and for good he died Protecting us from evil's might And so his saga will be told Until the sun goes dark and coldâ¦

BLUE Rev. 2005-09-11 114.

Beowulf's funeral ship drifts toward a rocky outcrop, forming a natural arch. A cedar bonfire is burning on top.

As the boat passes under the arch, the embers are pushed over the side, creating a heart-stoppingly beautifulâ¦

WATERFALL OF GLOWING EMBERS

â¦A beat, and the ship erupts in flame.

The setting sun, like a huge crimson eye on the horizon, frames the burning boat into a silhouette.

The boy's song ends. And into the silence, Wiglaf speaks.

OLD WIGLAF

Heâ¦he was the bravest of us. The prince of all warriors. His name will live forever. He

Wiglaf breaks down.

WEALTHOW

His songâ¦shall be sung foreverâ¦. As long as the Earth endures, his tales shall be told.

And the mourners turn back, heading towards the castle.

Beowulf's ship is now out into the open sea, burning.

Wiglaf pauses. He seems to hear something, a distant KEENINGâ¦he looks out to sea.

The wordless keening becomes the SIREN SONGâ¦of GRENDEL'S MOTHER!

She's sitting on the prow of the burning boat. Beautiful, naked and perfect. In the flamesâ¦Grendel's beautiful motherâ¦untouched by timeâ¦kisses her lover goodbye.

The boat lists and begins to sink. And just before it goes down, she stands on the rising bow, and executes a perfect arching dive. And as the Age of Heroes comes to its endâ¦the siren vanishes beneath the waves.

Wiglaf looks downâ¦waves lap at his feetâ¦when suddenly, The Golden Drinking Horn appearsâ¦washed up by the waves.

Wiglaf's eyes widen as he cautiously lifts the horn out of the sand, then looks back out to the seaâ¦

BLUE Rev. 2005-09-11 115.

And rising out of the water is Grendel's Mother, golden and beautifulâ¦with her long, exquisite finger, she beckons Wiglafâ¦

A strange look flickers across the old warrior's eyesâ¦a look we haven't seen beforeâ¦

And Wiglaf steps into the waterâ¦walking toward herâ¦

Just as the last of the setting sun, for a moment, burns green as any emerald, and the darkness falls weâ¦

FADE OUT:

Afterword
BY NEIL GAIMAN

I
know that there is a relationship between a script and a film, but I also know that it's not always the relationship that the viewing public imagines. It's not the relationship between a play performed and a script, or even of a house and an architect's plan. If anything it's the relationship between a battle plan and a battle.

There are those who believe that the art form of Hollywood is movies. I believe thisâexcept on my cynical days, when I believe that the art form of Hollywood is contracts, and that occasionally movies get made as an unavoidable part of the contract-making process.

When I was a young man I went out to Hollywood with a book, convinced that I was smarter and better and wiser than any other young man who had gone out to Hollywood and fallen afoul of the system, and I watched as my weeks turned into a rough assemblage of every Hollywood clichÃ© you've ever heard of. “You'd have to be mad to want to do this,” I thought, and I went away again.

In his introduction to these scripts, Roger Avary is much too honest about the process of getting this script made. This is because Roger is a Holy Madman. When he dies, no matter what amazing things he does between now and then, they will mention in the obituaries that he concluded his short Oscar acceptance speech by saying, “I'm gonna go now 'cause I really got to take a pee.” And he did. He says it was because he really had to take a pee.

If you read these two scripts, and bits, and Roger's introductions, you will learn an awful lot about the filmmaking process. You'll read two different battle plans for two different battles.

In 1997 we sat down in Mexico (mosquitoes in clouds, and they would make it through the netting in the night and be flying around lazily, blood-gorged, in the morning) to write a low-budget, live-action film, to be shot on location somewhere cold. It would have been rough and ready and cheap: Gilliam's Jabberwocky and Monty Python and the Holy Grail were our touchstones when we talked. Roger would have directed it. He grew a beard in order to look like a Viking when he directed, and to appear in crowd shots. He looks like a Viking when he has a beard, after all.

And then, eight years later, we found ourselves making a film in a soundstage and inside computers, with a huge budget, a dream cast, and a director in Bob Zemeckis who is so far from mad, so amiable and willing to collaborate, that it's frankly suspicious.

If I tag along with Roger (who is a Holy Madman. Did I mention that already? They walk through battles unscathed. Roger would not go to Florida because of the giant methane bubble beneath the gulf of Mexico, and when I made him go to Florida with me he kept one eye out for tidal waves the entire time, which made Florida so much more interesting for me than it has ever been, before or since) we have adventures, and things become a lot more interesting. So I tag along with Roger. You would too.

Also, I get to write rude songs, although only part of one of them made it into the finished film. But you get two of them here. Which is reason enough for you to read this book, even if you aren't interested in how films are made.

Appendix
SONGS

WE ARE BEOWULF'S ARMY

(to be sung like a rough and ready rugby song)

There were a dozen virgins,

All Friesians and Franks!

We took 'em for a boat-ride,

and all we got were wanks!

OOohh,

We are Beowulf's army,

we are mighty thanes,

we'll steal your cattle,

and take your girls,

then we'll do it all over again!

The prettiest of the virgins,

she was the fairest Swede!

I told her I'd an urgin',

for where to spend my seed!

Singing
we are Beowulf's army,

we are mighty thanes,

we'll steal your cattle,

and take your girls,

then we'll do it all over again!

The oldest of the virgins,

she was a Vandal lass!

I showed my mighty weapon,

and she showed me her ass!

Singing
we are Beowulf's army,

we are mighty thanes,

we'll steal your cattle,

and take your girls,

then we'll do it all over againâ¦

The fattest of the Virgins,

I knew her for a whore!

I gave her all my codpiece,

And still she wanted more!

Singing
we are Beowulf's army,

we are mighty thanes,

we'll steal your cattle,

and take your girls,

then we'll do it all over againâ¦

A virgin was from Norway,

She cost me twenty groats!

She showed me there was more ways,

Than one to sow my oats!

Singing
we are Beowulf's army,

we are mighty thanes,

we'll steal your cattle,

and take your girls,

then we'll do it all over againâ¦

There was a girl from Iceland,

And she was mighty hot!

She'd take a whole damn iceberg,

To cool her burning twat!

Singing
we are Beowulf's army,

we are mighty thanes,

we'll steal your cattle,

and take your girls,

then we'll do it all over again..

NAIL 'EM TO THE WALL

(from a lost draft)

Hrothgar is a hero

Hrothgar is a king

He's not afraid of dragons

Or any other thing

When giants came to Hrothgar

So big and strong and tall

He'd cut their bloody bollocks off

And nail them to the wall.

Oooooh

Nail 'em to the wall,

He'd cut their bloody bollocks off and nail them to the wall.

Hrothgar was a young man

Hrothgar went to fight

He killed a dozen monsters

In one tremendous night

When dragons came at Hrothgar

He'd battle, bust and brawl

then he'd rip their scaly tails off

And nail them to the wallâ¦

Ooohhhâ¦

Nail it to the wall,

He ripped its evil head right off and nailed it to the wallâ¦

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