Beowulf: Explosives Detection Dog (41 page)

Using my sleeve, I smeared away the hot tears.

“Dehqan,” she breathed in a gurgling away. She was dying. I could tell. She was going to leave me, just like
moor
and
plaar
.

“Quiet, Nafisa. I will get help. I will not let you die.” I applied more pressure to her chest. “I won’t. Let. You. Die!”

“ ‘My peace …’ ” A tear slipped from her eye and slid down her cheek, right through a splotch of blood, turning the rivulet pink. Her back arched, and she hauled in what sounded like a painful, ragged breath. “ ‘P-peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.’ ” She struggled for a breath, writhing in my arms.

I clutched her to myself, not caring who would see. Not caring if her blood stained my clothes. “I’m so sorry, Nafisa. I’m sorry. This is my fault.”

She smiled.

How could she smile—she was dying! “No. You can’t leave me. Nafisa!”

But her face was the picture of serenity. Beauty. Love. Trembling fingers reached for my face. “ ‘I do not give to you as the world gives.’ ” A sob ripped my heart out. “Oh, Dehqan… ‘Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.’ ” Her fingers traced my face. “I love you.” Another tear unleashed a flood. “Love Isa … for me.” She shook her head. “For you.”

And she breathed no more.

        Twenty-six        

S
he hadn’t come to see him. And it bugged him. Royally.

Tony worked through another rep of exercises Jennings had given him before they made the flight from Landstuhl to Walter Reed. Burnett made arrangements for his mom to fly with him and the others on the C-17 Globemaster III that returned him and thirty other wounded back to U.S. soil.

It was his own fault. He’d allowed his pride to dictate his actions. God hadn’t put conditions on His love for Tony, and yet Tony had done just that to Timbrel.

But if the girl wasn’t willing to face the good, bad, and ugly with him, to work through it rather than running from it. If she—

Forget it. Forget everything
.

Tony released the handle dangling over the bed and let himself fall back against the bed, a bead of sweat rolling down his neck and chest. He just had to let her go. That’s what she wanted. Obviously. Or she would’ve talked to him, visited him. Everyone else had. The guys. Burnett. But not her.

She knows. Is that it?
Did she know about his amputation?

Tony’s gaze dropped to the bandage that coiled around the stump just below his knee. He remembered coming to after the explosion, agony drilling through his body from the damage the blast did to his leg.

She doesn’t want me now
. Was that it? With his leg missing, he was a burden.
Just like Dad
.

She was right to leave. To ditch him. No woman needed to be saddled with someone in his condition.

The team … Could he get back into action?

No. He’d been off his game that night. It’s why he’d missed the triggers. Missed the telltale signs that something was off. He’d messed up and it cost him half a leg.

Teeth grinding, Tony fisted a hand.
My leg is gone
. The thought still hadn’t connected.
It’s gone. It’s gone. It’s gone
.

I’m handicapped
.

A cripple.

A burden.

He let his head drop back against the pillow and stared up. Hand over his eyes, he fought the despair. Fought the anger.
God … where are You? Why? Why did it happen to me?

The door pushed open.

Tony tensed.

Grady peeked in. “Hey.” Hands in his pockets, he came to the side of the bed.

Tony caught his brother’s hand and pulled him into a one-shouldered hug.

“How you doing?” Tension radiated from his brother.

He couldn’t miss the way Grady’s gaze kept bouncing to and from Tony’s missing leg. “How d’you think I’m doing?”

“Like crap.”

Tony gave a soft snort. “Something like that.” He looked up at him. “Thanks for coming over.”

“No worries.” Grady tugged a chair closer. “I’ve been going bat-crazy since Mom caught that flight and left.”

Tony eyed his brother. “Does Dad know?”

Grady shook his head. “Nah, we thought it better not to tell him yet. He’d just be agitated. You know he can’t do hospitals.”

“Too many memories.” Tony remembered the many times his father refused to enter the hospital doors. Funny that. He’d resented it before. Wished his father would just gut it up, especially when Tony broke his leg—the leg that was now gone—during soccer championships.

“Has Steph come by?”

Tony nodded. “Left about an hour ago. I asked her not to bring the kids.”

Grady nodded.

Silence blanketed the room thicker than the antiseptic smell permeating it. Tony knew …
knew
what his brother was thinking. What he wanted to say but wouldn’t.

“Go ahead and say it.” Tony wished the words hadn’t come out so angry. “I know you want to.”

Eyebrows knotted, Grady peered up at him. “Um, okay … Did Timbrel get hurt?”

Tony scowled. “Why are you asking about her?”

Grady gave a halfhearted shrug. “You said she’d worked with you.” He motioned to the room. “She’s not here now … so it made me wonder if she was with you when you got hurt.”

“Tony, don’t leave me. Please.”

Had he pushed her too hard? Was that why she hadn’t come? And he hadn’t thought about whether or not she got hurt. “No, she was fine.” They would’ve told him if she got hurt. “Why are you worrying about her anyway?”

“Because she’s nice.” Grady bobbed his head. “Pretty, too. Dad liked her, so did Mom.”

Tony’s blood hurled through his veins. His hearing whooshed. “Just forget it, forget
her
.”

Grady winged an eyebrow at him. “Hey, from what I saw that night, you weren’t exactly fawning over her. So what? Now that I’m interested—”

“Back off, Grady. I mean it.”

“What? Are you afraid she’d want me?” Grady snickered. “That’d be a first. The girl wants me, not my all-American hero brother.”

“Grady, leave her alone. She’s—” Tony bit off his words.
She’s mine
. That’s what he’d almost said. But she wasn’t. Things went south between them. Now, the rift seemed enormous.

On his feet, Grady held on to the side rails. “She’s what, little brother?”

“She’s been through a lot.” There. That worked. It was true. Didn’t breach a trust.

“You’re pathetic.” His lip curled.

“What does that mean?”

“It means—”

A light rap severed the terse words.

“Morning.” His mom entered, her cheeks a bit red. “Sorry I’m late.”

“Nah, it’s great. You can put Grady in the corner,” Tony said, his heart still hammering from the conversation.

“Well, I have a surprise.” Pushing the door open wider, she nodded to someone.

Clicking preceded the beast of a dog.

Tony held his breath.

Timbrel
.

Sure enough, she rounded the corner. Dressed in her typical jeans, boots, and black T-shirt, she didn’t have her ball cap on this time. Instead her hair hung loose past her shoulders. A cinnamon color. Man, she looked good. But also a little … strained.

Tony steeled himself for her reaction. For her to burst into tears—and he knew they were coming because he saw his own torment in her eyes. The one that said he was messed up. A burden. That she couldn’t face a future of taking care of someone like him. Someone like his father. No longer the model-perfect guy her mom had declared him to be, Tony probably had little value to her. He’d served her purpose.

He said nothing. Couldn’t if he’d wanted to—his pulse chased the hope that she’d be different. She wouldn’t …

“Timbrel,” Grady said. “Good to see you. Man, you look good.” His brother went to the side of the bed where she stood back and hugged her. “Came to check on Tony, huh?”

Tony’s fury went through the roof as his brother hugged Timbrel. But more so that Timbrel let him.

Her smile wobbled unevenly as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “Yeah.” She looked at Tony then back at his brother. Arms crossed, she hugged herself, but her gaze kept bouncing as if unsure of where to settle.

It’s my leg—the
missing
leg. She can’t bring herself to look at it
.

“Were you there when it happened?” Grady asked her, standing close. Too close.

“Yeah.” Timbrel seemed to hold herself tighter.

Beowulf trotted to a corner and laid down. Only then did Tony notice the bandages. “What happened to Beo?”

Finally, Timbrel closed the distance. “He …” She smiled down at him, but it wasn’t a “so glad to see you” smile. It screamed pity. “The pads of his paws got burned off in the explosion. He’s recovering though.” Her gaze traced his face. “How are you?”

“Recovering.” The venom sluiced through that word so much it hurt Tony. Though he stared at her, he noticed his mom and Grady slip out. But with that poisonous explosion came agony to hold her in his arms. To pull her close and never let go.

“Did they”—his voice cracked. He cleared his throat—“did they tell you about Scrip?”

Timbrel twisted her mouth to one side. “When we were trying to evac you, I saw him.” She shook her head, fighting emotion it seemed. “It wasn’t pretty.” She wet her lips, but her chin dimpled in and out. Eyes went glossy again. She shook her head. Ducked.

Without thinking, Tony reached for her hand.

“Seeing him like that—dead, I … was so scared”—her lips trembled—“you wouldn’t make it.” She held his hand.

Tony tugged her toward himself.

She rested against the bed and dropped her forehead against his shoulder.

Sweet relief swept through him as he held her. Slipped his fingers in her hair, cupped the back of her head.

Timbrel whimpered. Pulled back, her gaze locked on his.

Hesitation slowed but didn’t stop him from kissing her. Luring her closer again.

Another whimper.

Hunger … a hunger unlike he’d ever known wove through his chest as he deepened the kiss. The only right thing, the only good thing left in his life. He wanted her to want him, to accept him …

His reason caught up with his hunger for her. The reminder of their first kiss. Then the way she completely walked away from him. Without any compunction.