Beret Bear (Rogue Bear Series 3) (5 page)

H
e barely made
it to the reception desk. He had to force his legs to keep moving. His bear was out of control. Gage staggered to the elevator. He had done the right thing. The only thing he could do. He couldn’t make Avery his while she was still engaged.

It didn’t matter what an asshole the guy was. It didn’t matter he hadn’t bothered to call or, or that he seemed too busy to give her five seconds of his time. The sooner she booted that dick to the curb, the sooner Gage could give her everything she deserved.

The elevator doors closed behind him.

He opened his room and threw himself on the bed. His body was still warm from her touch. He could smell her on him. It was enough to make his bear run down four flights of stairs again, but he had to resist one more night.

He knew she felt what he did. He pulled the sheet to his chest, waiting for sleep to finally hit him.

T
here was smoke and darkness
. Gage coughed, trying to clear his lungs. He called out for his team, but his ears were still ringing from the explosion. He pushed around in the dark, his hands landing on concrete. A wire burned his shoulder. He whipped around to pull it off his skin, hearing it crackle in the air.

He called out again, but the smoke invaded his throat. He clutched at his throat, but it pulled him under, the flames rising around him.

“Hey, hey. It’s me.”

He felt the cool touch of smooth skin. He opened his eyes. Avery was sitting next to him on the bed. He jumped forward, feeling the sweat trickle over his chest.

“What are you doing in here?” he asked.

“You were screaming.” Her eyes filled with worry. “Are you ok?”

He pushed the sheet off his legs and planted his feet next to the bed. Her hand swept over his shoulder. “Gage, are you ok?”

He shook his head and stood from the bed. It had felt real. The smoke still burned his nose and his skin seared from the wild wire. He reached to feel where it had scorched him.

“Gage?”

He had forgotten Avery was in the room. He looked at her. That sheer gown clinging to her curves. The look of anguish in her eyes.

“I’m fine.”

“You didn’t sound fine,” she whispered.

He walked to the bar and poured a straight glass of bourbon. “You shouldn’t have come up here.”

“Would you rather I stand outside your door and listen to you scream?”

He turned on his heels. “I was that loud?”

She nodded. “What happened to you over there?”

“I don’t talk about it.” He slung the drink back, feeling the liquor burn his throat.

“I want to help, Gage.”

“I can handle it. It’s not a big deal.”

She stood, crossing the few steps between them. “It is a big deal.” She took his hands and led him to the edge of the bed. He mirrored her actions as she sat. “Tell me. Tell me what happened.”

Her fingers entwined through his. She pulled his hand to her lap. He looked at her, seeing the worry and the fear in her eyes, but something more powerful than either of those. Trust. He could trust her.

“I left the Army a week ago.” He gripped at her hand, drawing strength from her to keep talking. “I was in Special Forces as a Green Beret. I never thought I’d leave. I never thought I would be anything other than a soldier.”

“What happened? Why did you leave?”

He continued with his story. “I had been in Razastan for three years.” He closed his eyes recalling the details from his last night in the country. “We parachuted into our target. It was standard. Quieter than a chopper,” he explained. “I landed on the ground with seven men on my team.”

Avery’s eyes were wide. Even in the dark he could see the shades of brown.

“But I didn’t leave with all seven.”

He felt her hand clutch his. “Gage…”

He kept talking. “They were the men I had called brothers. The men I swore to protect. The men who protected me.”

“What happened?” Her voice was quiet and soft.

They were the memories he had fought to forget. The ones he buried under his skin and fur. The ones that had pushed him into the wind and down the road.

“We were used to attacks.” He shook his head. “We were trained for them. It happened all the time. But not like that one. It wasn’t like anything we had ever seen before.”

“How was it different?”

Gage thought about the in-processing he completed when he returned to Washington. They had put him in an office with an Army psychiatrist. He had to be cleared before they would let him leave the Army. He knew how to answer the questions. He had been trained so well he could evade mandatory counseling.

He hadn’t wanted to tell the man with the thin nose and square glasses about what he saw in Razastan. It wasn’t any of his damn business. He didn’t care if he had to fill in a box on a checklist. So, Gage had told the man what he wanted to hear. Enough to get a clean bill of health and complete his discharge papers.

Sitting next to Avery stirred something in him. The man in him needed to tell her. He wanted to finally let go of everything he had been carrying on his shoulders.

He lifted his eyes to her. “The entire village was part of the ambush. Every building. Every car. Every street. All of it was lined with explosives.”

“Oh my God. What? Why?”

“They knew we would be there. One of our field agents was working against us. By the time my Green Beret team and a Ranger team showed up, the village had been evacuated. But we didn’t figure it out in time. They blew the whole thing up. There wasn’t anything left.”

“But you survived?”

He nodded. He knew he shouldn’t have. He should have been part of the embers like everyone else, but he had survived. His ability to heal quickly helped him escape the flames and smoke. He had the kind of strength and stamina no other man had.

“By the time I figured out what had happened, it was too late. I tried to pull some of the men out, but they were already gone.” He clutched his fingers together. “They were all dead. Every last one of them.”

“How did you get out of there?”

“My radio worked. I called in for backup. I searched the buildings while I waited. I wanted to find who was responsible, but there was no one in town. No one to take in. No one to make pay for what they had done.” He felt the anger surfacing with the memory of scaling the burning village for the cowards who had sabotaged the mission.

His bear had been raging with fury. He’d never felt anger sear him like it did that night. There wasn’t a damn thing he could do to save anyone, or find justice for their murders.

“I don’t know how long I waited before the helicopter touched down. I stood in the middle of the town watching it burn down around me. An entire village gone. They sacrificed their homes and schools just to ambush us. I’ve never seen anything so vile and dark.” He lowered his eyes as the pain ripped through his chest.

Avery’s hand slid to his cheek, warm and soft. “I’m so sorry, Gage.” He closed his eyes, trying to absorb the silkiness of her palm as a tear dropped from his lids.

“They were all gone.” He let the memories seep in. He remembered their faces. The jokes they used to make. The stories they told about their families. “Just gone,” he whispered.

“I know. I know.” She pulled his head to her shoulder and wrapped her arms around his bare back. “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t know why I didn’t die with them. I should have died. I shouldn’t be here. I don’t deserve it.” He flinched. “I don’t deserve you, Avery.”

She rubbed her hands against his skin with gentle strokes. “Don’t say that. Don’t ever say that.”

“It’s true. I should have been able to save them. Someone.”

She shifted on the bed so she could look in his eyes. “Why would you think that was your responsibility? I know you did all that you could. You are a survivor, Gage. A true warrior.”

“Surviving is my burden,” he groaned.

“No,” she whispered. “It’s not. I promise.”

He didn’t know when it happened, but eventually he closed his eyes, pulling Avery against his chest. They rolled back on to the sheets and fell asleep. Gage slept for the first time in months.

S
he felt
something heavy against her chest. Her eyes opened. Gage’s arm was slung over her stomach. She watched as he took one deep breath after another. She hadn’t meant to fall asleep in his room, but after what he had shared with her last night, she couldn’t leave. She didn’t want to let him sleep alone.

She finally understood the darkness in his eyes. Why he didn’t want to talk about the Army.

He had been through something no man should have to endure. Yet, he had somehow survived. It had to be a miracle. Fourteen other men died, but Gage was here. God, she was glad he had found his way to St. Claire.

Before all the revelations about his past, she had been desperately trying to sort through what had happened in her bed.

The way he touched her was unlike anything she had felt. The way he kissed her made her body feel alive. But he was right. She couldn’t give herself to him while Paul still thought she was going to marry him.

It wasn’t that simple, though. She stared at Gage’s face. His eyelashes twitched and she wondered if he would wake soon.

Could she just call Paul and tell him it was over? Could she break off the engagement and hand back the ring? She didn’t know Gage, but after last night she felt as if she knew him better than the man she had spent the past two years with. She had seen his soul. She had seen the man he was. His past. His anger. His passion. His tenderness.

She lifted his hand off of her, sliding out from under him until she had one foot on the floor. As she moved her opposite leg, his eyes flew open.

“Hey.”

“Hey.” She smiled. She felt silly for trying to sneak out. “How did you sleep?”

“Like a bear.” He grinned and she felt her insides melt. Why did he have to be so fucking sexy all the time? He wasn’t making anything easier. “How about you?”

His eyes traced her throat and locked on the dip between her breasts. The strap on the nightgown had slipped and he had a view of her pink flesh.

She reached for the strap to adjust it on her shoulder. “I slept well too.”

It was happening again. Her body was waking up in places that had been asleep for so long. His hand floated over her hip.

“I haven’t awakened to something this beautiful in a long time.” She heard that sound from his chest that sent shivers all over her body.

“Gage, I…” It wasn’t as if she had something to tell him. She hadn’t had enough time to figure any of this out.

He brushed her hair away from her face. “I know. I meant what I said. All of it.”

“Thank you.”

“For what?”

She loved how his hand felt against her face. “For telling me about Razastan.”

He lowered his eyes. “I didn’t mean to dump all of that on you. I just want to forget about it. I shouldn’t have—”

“No. No.” Don’t undo it,” she pleaded, sitting up quickly.

“Undo?”

She pressed her finger to his lips. She’d never felt so intimately connected to anyone. “I’m honored you shared your pain with me. I wouldn’t change last night for anything. Not any of it. What happened in my room or yours.”

His eyes looked bluer in the morning. “Then I won’t undo it.” He grinned, jumping off the side of the bed. Avery felt the bed shift from his weight.

“I’m going to take a shower. Unless you’re planning on joining me, I’ll see you at breakfast.”

“Breakfast?” She stood to tuck the comforter under the pillows. “Shit. I haven’t set up the breakfast.”

Not only did she have to walk through the inn in a thin, silk gown, the housekeepers would know she hadn’t gotten things ready for the only guest.

“I can get breakfast at the Skillet. Don’t worry about me.”

“I have to go.” She raced out of the room, frantically tapping the elevator button. Sara and Jenny would be starting on the first floor. She could probably sneak past them and make it to her room without them seeing her.

The doors closed behind her. She nervously watched the numbers light up, counting the floors. “Shit. Shit,” she murmured.

As soon as they retracted she bolted for the reception desk. On the other side was the office, and the housekeepers never entered without checking with her first. She scanned the lobby. Thank goodness there were no other guests. And thank God her father was out of town. She’d never be able to explain this to him.

She tipped her ear forward. There were no sounds of the maid carts. She made a dash for the desk. Her bare feet skipped over the hardwood floor and she closed the office door behind her.

She exhaled, triumphant she had made it through without seeing anyone.

She looked up when she heard her bedroom door open.

“Avery, what in the hell are you doing?”

Her mouth fell open. “Paul?”

“You want to tell me where you’ve been?” Her fiancé leaned into the doorframe, his arms crossed, and his forehead creased with a deep scowl. The tips of his dark red hair were sticking up.

His delicate features looked odd after having spent so much with Gage who was solid and sturdy.

She walked toward Paul. “I think we need to talk.”

G
age pulled
a T-shirt on over his wet chest. The fabric dried as he brushed his teeth. He ran his fingers through his dark hair. It wasn’t long enough for a comb. The stubble on his jawline was a deep shadow now. He thought he’d let it grow.

If there was a question before last night about whether he’d get on his bike and ride out of St. Claire, it had been put to rest when Avery spent the night in his arms.

He didn’t know if the nightmares would stop instantly. He didn’t know if he would stop waking up in a cold sweat, but he felt a lightness he had forgotten was possible. Sharing the horror of Razastan with her had opened his heart in a way he didn’t know was possible.

He flipped off the bathroom light, grabbed his room key, and walked into the hall.

“Good morning.” He smiled at one of the housekeepers.

She blushed and smiled. “Good morning, sir.”

Gage walked toward the staircase. He felt as if he could slide down four flights on the edge of the banister, but that was crazy. He jogged down the stairs. After breakfast, he would check in with Glen, but he planned on spending the rest of the day with Avery.

He would do whatever he had to help her break things off with Paul. He’d drive her to him. He’d call for her. He’d write an email or send the text. He didn’t care what it was. She belonged with him, not that bastard.

He rounded the second floor, smelling the fresh pot of coffee wafting up from the kitchen. He smiled, knowing Avery had made it for him.

He jogged down the last two steps and walked toward the reception desk. The light wasn’t on and the sign greeting guests wasn’t out. His nose twitched. He could smell it. It was a familiar smell that made him snarl instantly. There was a shifter nearby.

He barged through the office door. “Avery!”

The door to her room was closed. “Avery!” He pounded on the frame, but when she didn’t answer he kicked in the door.

The hair on the back of his neck stood upright. “Get your hands off her.”

The shifter turned, peering at Gage over his shoulder. His hands were wrapped around Avery’s neck, pinning her to the wall.

“Who the fuck are you?”

Gage saw the fear in her eyes. Her cheeks were stained with tears.

“I could ask you the same thing,” Gage growled through clenched teeth.

“I’m having a conversation with my fiancée. So if you wouldn’t mind leaving us alone.”

“You’re Paul?” Gage took a step closer, but noticed Paul’s grip tightened around Avery’s neck. He stopped.

Gage took a long sniff in the air. He was a damn fox. No wonder the guy was so shady. Foxes were about as loyal as a snake.

Paul’s gaze landed on Avery again. “Is he the reason?” he hissed.

She closed her eyes, the tears streaming faster now. “Please, Paul.”

“Let her go,” Gage demanded. He had to get his hands on Paul.

“Why, so the big bear can have his way with her?” His eyebrows rose.

The growl rumbled at the base of his throat. He was close to ripping the smug look off Paul’s face. “Shut up. You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Paul suddenly let his fingers loosen. Avery took a big gasp of air. “I think I know something about it.” He cocked his head toward Gage.

Gage shoved past him and pulled Avery against his chest. “Are you ok?”

She nodded. “I’m fine. He was just surprised.”

“Surprised? Is that what you call it?” Paul’s eyes hardened. “I stop by to take my bride to breakfast and find her dressed like a whore, sneaking into her room. And not only that. She tells me she doesn’t want to get married anymore.”

His eyes bore into Gage. “Then you show up. Suddenly I have a clear picture of what’s happening here.”

Gage peeled Avery from his chest and stepped in front of her, creating a barrier from Paul. He could feel the air around the fox was reckless. There was no telling what he would do or say.

“I think you should leave, Paul. You don’t have any claim to her.”

“What makes you say that?”

“I know you don’t.” Gage towered over him. He didn’t want to embarrass Avery, but Paul hadn’t made her his life mate. Foxes tended to drag things out. The men weren’t big on commitment. Her story made perfect sense now that he was staring at the man who had given her the ring.

“I gave her my ring. We are getting married. Some burly bear isn’t going to change that.”

Gage felt the pins in his lungs, he was trying to hold his bear in. He didn’t want to unleash him in front of Avery. But the sneer in Paul’s voice was sending him over the edge.

“She has a say.” Gage breathed.

“I told you, Paul. I don’t think we should get married. Just go. I haven’t seen you in two weeks and you show up like this? No. I want you to leave.” Avery’s voice sounded firm.

“You know the only reason you’re saying that is because of him.” He pointed to Gage.

“No it’s not. And if I had any doubts, you certainly erased them when you threw me against the wall.” She glared.

Paul shrugged. “You know he’s a bear, right? A big, nasty bear who’s going to want to do all kind of things to you, Avery.” He paused, snickering. “Oh, you didn’t know? He didn’t tell you about all the cubs? What about the part where you’re claimed? How he’s going to take you like a wild animal? No? Hmm.”

Paul stepped to the side, watching the aftershocks of the bomb he had dropped.

“You’re a fucking fox,” Gage snarled. “Get out! Get out of here before I rip you to shreds.”

“See? Bears have a nasty temper.” He waggled his finger in front of Gage’s nose.

Avery staggered backward, her legs hitting the bear. “Bear? Fox?”

Paul walked to the bedside table and snatched the ring from its case. “I might be a fox, but at least with me you wouldn’t have to have a den full of cubs. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.” He shoved the ring in his pocket, and walked out of the door.

Gage had to lock up his bear or he would run after Paul and tear his limbs from his body without a second thought. He had possibly just destroyed the best thing he had in his life.

“Avery?” He turned to her, but face was frozen with fright. He reached toward her, but she shrank.

“Don’t touch me.” She ran toward the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

Fuck.