Betrayal (13 page)

'She isn't going anywhere. I've always despised people who rejected less than perfect children, and nothing I've seen or heard today has made me change my mind. All right, she might not show her appreciation, and perhaps she'll upset me and tire me out, but she's my daughter and I'm not going to let her be put in an institution where she's just another number and no one cares what happens to her.'

'I don't think it has to be like that,' he said softly.

'If you really want to help me,' said Lisa suddenly, 'I'd like you to find me a job.'

'A job?' He was so amazed that he released his soothing grip and Lisa quickly moved away from him.

'I know I can't go out to work but surely there are people who'd like work done at home; typing, translations, that sort of thing. I'm good at languages.'

'In that case it's possible I might be able to channel some work from one of my companies your way. There's a lot of paperwork involved.'

Lisa frowned. 'I didn't really want to work for you. You've done quite enough for me already.'

'You wouldn't be working for me. I'm not involved in every section of my business. You'd work for the director in charge of that particular company. At least let me have a word with him.'

'I suppose it would be sensible,' she conceded, knowing full well that outwork for a girl who hadn't ever done any proper work at all would normally be impossible to come by.

'Why do you want to work?' he asked curiously . 'I don't like being a kept woman.'

He laughed aloud. 'I don't think you qualify as a kept woman! They have to work for their keep you know, and not in offices either!' 'I need my own money. I've used up everything you got me for my furs and jewellery, and Jessica does need lots of mundane things like milk powder, baby powder… '

'Lisa, she isn't going to get any easier, you know,' he said quietly.

She raised her head and now the despair was showing in her eyes. 'There's Christmas too,' she continued frantically. 'She… ' 'Darling, you can't run away from it. Jessica is going to be a terrible burden on you. At the moment she's immobile but… ' 'Dr Phillips .said she'll probably walk normally.'

'Quite, but he didn't say her behaviour would improve at the same time, did he?'

'No, he didn't say much at all except that she wouldn't ever learn to speak very well. But I'm sure that with enough love… '

'I agree,' said Neal quickly, suddenly remembering Bishop's advice. 'I'm sure mother-love can accomplish a lot. That's why a part-time nanny's out of the question. Otherwise I could find you a convenient office job in the export office with flexible working hours, but it wouldn't be right. It's a pity because then you'd really be independent.'

Lisa looked directly at him. 'I didn't say a part-time nanny wasn't acceptable. All I said was that I refused to part with Jessica. If by taking on some help I could earn a living for myself , then it would probably be the best solution. I'd always be fresh for Jessica and wouldn't feel beholden to you all the time.'

So Bishop was right, thought Neal with considerable amusement. Lisa automatically opposed suggestions. He was surprised, not by her behaviour—women had long since ceased to surprise him in that respect—but by Bishop's perspicacity. 'I'm not sure… ' He let his voice tail off.

'Not sure of what?'

'You'd be very busy, it might prove too much along with looking after Jessica. And of course you wouldn't have any time for a social life.'

'I'm not bothered about that, although if I did want to go somewhere—like the N.S.P.C.C. Ball—surely I could manage it?'

'If you had the energy.'

'I'm young! At my age you can keep going on very little sleep.' 'I'm sure Toby encouraged that,' he retorted, and saw her face close against him. He could have groaned in dismay, and wondered why the thought of Lisa and Toby in bed together had the power to make him seethe with fury when it was quite obvious that their good times hadn't lasted very long.

Once she was his, he told himself , it would be different. He wouldn't mind so much then because he would show her what loving meant and Toby would be obliterated from her mind.

'Is Jessica still crying?' she asked, suddenly aware of the screams coming from the small bedroom.

'I'm afraid so. Finish your coffee and I'll take you home.'

He was amazed when she dropped her head and began to cry. 'I don't want to take her home,' she sobbed. 'I don't want to be on my own with her tonight. Every time I look at her I remember what the doctor said and I simply can't bear it. She's too beautiful to be retarded; he must have made a mistake. Oh, Neal, why did this have to happen? I wanted a baby so much.'

He held her and stroked her, murmuring meaningless words of comfort and trying to soothe her by his presence. After a long time she wiped her eyes on the back of her hands, which he found strangely endearing.

'I'm sorry,' she muttered. 'You must think I'm very feeble.'

'On the contrary I think you're extremely brave. You were the one who knew she wasn't right. But for you this diagnosis would never have been made.'

'Is that supposed to cheer me up?'

'Lisa, isn't it better to know? Isn't that what you wanted? To find out if you were right or not? '

'But I wanted to be wrong!'

You poor child, he thought to himself , but he didn't say it. Instead he helped her to her feet and led her towards Jessica's room. 'I'll come back with you and if necessary I'll stay the night. I'll stay for as long as it takes you to come to terms with this—that's a promise.' 'I don't know what I'd have done without you today,' she remarked as they put the carrycot in the back of his sleek Jaguar. 'I don't think I could have coped alone.'

He knew then that it was only a matter of time, and had to look away from her to hide the light of victory that he knew must be showing in his eyes.

That night, Jessica went to sleep early. She'd been rigid during her bath, ignored the teat on the bottle for half an hour and then screamed non-stop when Lisa tried to nurse her, but once she was in her own cot again, staring up at the mobile she seemed to enjoy, she quickly fell asleep.

Neal, horrified by her unnatural behaviour, poured out two large brandies and handed one to Lisa. 'Is she always like this? '

'Tonight was rather extreme, but then her routine's been disturbed.'

He doubted if Jessica recognised a routine, but again perhaps she did. A quick telephone call to a psychologist friend while Lisa was struggling with her daughter had told him quite a lot about infant autism, and rigid order seemed to occupy a lot of their time as they grew up. Perhaps Jessica already needed it. He was rapidly becoming certain of one thing: if Lisa were to become his regular mistress, Jessica would have to go.

'Tired?' he murmured as Lisa rested her head on his shoulder. 'Yes, but my brain's buzzing. It's been such a traumatic day and now we're back here and everything's normal again and yet it isn't. It never will be normal again, will it? Not now that I know the truth.' 'Just relax,' he replied, and gradually—soothed by the rhythmic movements of his hands on her back and arms—she managed to let some of the tension drain out of her. Eventually her eyelids drooped and he knew by her breathing that she was asleep. Looking down at her he wondered how long he was going to have to wait before he could make her his. At that moment he didn't mind; it was enough that she'd begun to trust him.

When she awoke she cried out briefly, and he realised that she thought she was back with Toby. 'It's all right,' he said quickly. 'It's me, remember?'

She gave an embarrassed laugh. 'I'm not used to waking up next to strange men!'

'I understand. Shall I get a Chinese sent in?' 'Lovely! Didn't you have any engagements tonight?'

'Nothing I can't break,' he lied as he went to the phone, and Lisa was far too sleepy to hear that he made two calls instead of one, and that the second call caused him considerable annoyance.

'He can 't come!' snapped Bishop, slamming the phone down in a fury.

'Wife trouble?' queried Steve, relieved that tonight he might get away in time to go to the pub and meet his friends.

'No, that bloody Walker girl.'

'If you mean Lisa,' said Mike, 'you'd better not swear about her in front of him. He's… '

'Making a fucking fool of himself over her. I know that without your assistance, thank you very much!'

'Very concerned about her,' continued Mike, privately wondering why Bishop hated Lisa so much.

'Her and that damned daughter of Toby Walker's. If I had my way… '

'Which you won't,' said an older man, listening to the young men as they discussed something that he too knew was important but didn't intend to talk about to anyone because with Neal Gueras you never knew where a tape might be hidden, recording your every word. 'Right,' continued Bishop briskly. 'We're to go ahead without him; those were his instructions. There's only one question to be discussed, and that's the matter of the Bellini family.'

'Aren't they in banking?' asked Steve, glancing surreptitiously at his watch.

'They are. Were you anxious to get away?' Steve shook his head. 'I'm so glad. The Bellinis are, as you've astutely put it, in banking. They're very heavily into banking, amongst other things.'

'What other things?'

'Power,' said Bishop shortly. 'They're rapidly becoming more and more powerful in Europe, and we've heard that they're thinking of coming to London.'

'Who's behind them?' asked Mike. 'We think that it's P2.'

'I read a good book about them,' said Steve helpfully. 'In God's Name, I think it was called. All about the Pope and… '

'Yes, well, thankfully the Pope isn't coming here. He's got quite enough power from on high without wanting any of ours! No, what we need to do is find out exactly who does fund the Bellinis, and what areas are likely to interest them.'

'One thing,' said Mike. 'I happen to know for certain that it was a member of Bellini's group who first started the investigation into Kay's death after her body was washed up in France. You remember that the police there originally accepted it at face value and then got difficult? Apparently they only got difficult because of this forensic man. He seemed to be doing his job efficiently but was actually paid by the Bellinis to try and prove it couldn't have been an accident. Something about tides and that sort of thing.'

'Check that,' instructed Bishop. 'Find out all you can about who gave him the orders and how much he was paid. In the meantime we're all to find out everything possible about the entire Bellini family.'

The ten men seated round the table rose and left quietly until only Mike and Bishop were left. 'It's that bloody woman's fault!' snarled Bishop.

'Kay's?'

'Lisa Walker's! If she hadn't come along… '

'Some other woman would have done. Let's have a drink down the road.'

Bishop sighed. 'O.K. And yes, some other woman would have done, but this girl's got trouble written all over her.' As usual, Bishop was right.

Chapter Ten

'You 're going then?' asked Mike cheerfully, carrying Lisa's shopping into the mews cottage.

'Going where?' 'To the Ball.'

'Yes, like Cinderella I shall go to the ball!' 'What about the little one?'

'Neal's arranged a baby-sitter. She's a trained nurse who looked after his wife for a while when she was unwell.'

'Nurse Clarke!' He laughed.

'What's so amusing about her? Put that box down on the table, would you?'

'I took her out once and then discovered she didn't fancy me at all.' 'I'm amazed you can laugh about it. I thought all men had fragile egos.'

'Not at all. Besides, I didn't really fancy her. It was just that Mr Gueras felt she needed a break. She was getting too involved with his wife—interfering, he called it. I was meant to take her mind off her job.'

'Coffee?'

'Thanks. Yeah, it was funny because by the end of the evening I'd discovered she was more likely to fancy Mrs Gueras than me!'

'You mean she's a lesbian?'

'You'll be quite safe. If Mrs Gueras is her type, then you won't be!' 'What is Mrs Gueras like?'

'Pretty ordinary. Short, on the plump side, dark hair that she usually wears up, and totally lacking in humour. She's kind-hearted though, or used to be. These days she's not quite so gentle, but I imagine she's had to harden herself to survive.'

'And the girls? '

'I'm not meant to gossip like this.'

'Don't worry, I shan't tell on you but I'm dying to know more about them and Neal won't tell me much.'

'The girls are a strange lot. Louise is a deep one; all curves and blatant sexuality but probably pretty cold underneath. Ruth's the nicest but she wants more than she's ever going to get from either of her parents. As for Rebekah, that poor kid's never had a chance and spends all her time plaguing the life out of the rest of the family just to get some attention.'

'They sound dreadful!'

He gave her a strange look. 'Don't start feeling sorry for Mr Gueras. He's got the family he deserves.'

'That's not a very loyal remark.'

'I'm a company man, and loyal when appropriate. Besides, I like you and it's something you should know.'

She wished he'd kept quiet. At the moment Neal was something of a hero to her. He'd been so supportive over Jessica, and seemed to understand instinctively both how she felt about the child and her fear of involvement with any man. He was always there when she needed him but never intrusive. In other words, he was just what she needed at that time, and she didn't want to hear about any negative aspects of his character.

'Well, who knows what goes on in families? Mine wasn't exactly the cosy unit people must have thought. Shall I show you what I'm wearing on Friday?'

Mike drank his coffee and shook his head. 'I'll be driving you there, I'll see it then. Right now I'm off. Heard any more about this job you wanted?'

'There are still one or two details to sort out.'

'Do you good to get out more. It's an unreal world, you can lose your sense of perspective cooped up here alone.'

She took his cup and put it in the dishwasher. 'Don't worry, I know what I'm doing, but I've got Jessica to think about.'

'Now and again just stop and think what you'd do if Jessica wasn't handicapped. Don't get so caught up protecting her that you throw away your entire life in the mistaken belief that then she'll be safe forever.'

'I think you'd better go,' said Lisa slowly. 'I'm quite capable of working things out for myself.'

'I've upset you and I'm sorry. It's only that you're too nice for… ' 'For what?'

'For the sort of life you're being offered.' 'Lots of women go out to work.'

'It's not the work that concerns me! In any case, you don't truly believe you'll be doing an honest day's toil for an honest wage, do you? You're not that naive! Life with Toby must have scratched those rose-coloured spectacles of yours a little!'

'Get out.'

'But perhaps you're smarter than I realise. Perhaps you're angling for marriage? If so, I can tell you for nothing that it's not on. Plenty of women have made that mistake. Women may come and women may go, but Naomi goes on forever!'

She slammed the front door behind him, shaking with temper. How dare he talk to her like that? He was meant to be her friend. Well, perhaps not exactly a friend but he'd always been cheerful, almost admiring at times. Now he was making her out to be either a pea-brained Pollyanna or a scheming hussy with designs on an aging woman's husband.

She wasn't either. She was far smarter than he realised, but she did know that he was right about one thing: life in the cottage was too isolated and safe. After the Ball, she'd press Neal for a job. That would be the best time. She quickly pushed the jibe about such work to the back of her mind. Mike didn't know everything. He was only a chauffeur, however intelligent and alert. No, the job would be genuine enough, she was sure of that.

'After the ball is over… ' hummed Lisa cheerfully, lying back in the foam-filled bath, listening to the reassuring sound of Nurse Clarke bustling around the nursery.

She was surprised at how excited she felt. It wasn't only pleasure at going out again, it was a sense of reawakening, of feeling truly alive; of being a person in her own right. Not just the terrified wife of Toby or the anxious, guilt-ridden mother of Jessica, but herself, Lisa Walker. She resolved to revert to her maiden name as soon as the divorce was absolute, taking yet another step away from the nightmare.

Early that afternoon she'd taken Jessica along with her to Lazartigue's Hair Centre in St. James's Street. They'd examined her hair, exclaimed over its terrible condition and given her nearly three hours of treatment before pronouncing themselves satisfied. She'd come away with a bag full of their products, including a mud pack for her scalp, regulating jelly and body emulsion; all foul-smelling—but she had to admit that her hair felt better for their treatment—and all hideously expensive. So expensive that for the first time she'd used the charge card given to her by Neal. She only hoped he'd approve of what they'd accomplished.

She was just patting herself dry before applying her favourite Body Shop lotion when the bell rang. Quickly wrapping a long satin robe round herself , she went down and looked through the spy hole. 'Neal! You're not meant to be here until eight.'

'Don't worry, I'm not staying. I've brought you a small present for the evening. May I come in for a second?'

As he came in, he glanced at her hair. 'Like it?' 'Very nice.'

'That's lucky, I used your card to pay.'

He smiled. 'I told you it would come in useful. Here, I'd like you to wear this tonight.'

She opened the small box and looked inside. There, on a dark cushion, lay a bottle of Joy perfume. She continued to look at it for a few moments and then replaced the lid. 'You want me to wear that tonight?'

'If you would. It's my favourite perfume.' 'Then you wear it. I prefer something by Dior.'

His smile didn't waver. 'Perhaps you do, but I like my women to wear Joy.'

'All of them? Your wife, your mistresses and your casual girlfriends? Is that how you recognise them in the dark, by the smell of Joy?'

He frowned. 'Don't be ridiculous. Surely it isn't much to ask? Most women are delighted to wear it.'

'I am not most women. I'm sorry but I don't want it. Not only do I find it too heavy, I also object to wearing what is tantamount to a badge proclaiming to the world that I'm yours, when I'm not. I don't belong to anyone, and if the day ever comes when I find myself dressing, talking or thinking along lines dictated by you, then I'll move out.'

'Admirably independent! Where do you intend to go? Somewhere they'll look after Jessica when you want an evening on the town, I trust?'

Lisa thought for a moment and then handed back the box. 'Here you are; give it to my replacement. I'm not coming.'

'Not coming?'

'I'm sorry about the cost of the hair. I'll pay you back when you find me this elusive job. I hope you can get someone else at such short notice.'

Neal's first reaction was to take the perfume, turn her out of the cottage the next day and make quite sure no one in London gave her a job with a decent salary, thus forcing her to return to him on any terms he cared to make.

His second thought was wiser. He wanted her, and he wasn't ever going to get her by using those tactics . She'd probably rather starve than come back to him, however desperate she became. In any case, it made a change. No other woman had turned down the most expensive perfume in the world simply because it wasn't her personal favourite. In fact they were usually so overcome with delight that he came close to despising them for their greed. Lisa was different, and that was her attraction. Different to look at and different in behaviour. If he wanted a change from the Kays of the world, he'd simply have to accept her as she was… but only for the moment.

'Don't be silly,' he said softly. 'If you don't want to wear it, fine, but please keep it. You can give it away as a Christmas present.'

Now that she'd won, Lisa felt guilty. 'I wasn't trying to be awkward, I honestly don't like it. Stephanie used to drown herself in the stuff; I couldn't wear it, there are too many memories attached.'

'Did Toby ever buy it for you?' he asked quickly.

'Of course not. If I don't want it from you then obviously I wouldn't want it from him either. Besides, he didn't give me anything as expensive as Joy. He was saving up for his old age!'

'Is the nurse all right?' he asked, sitting down for a moment and wondering if she was naked beneath her robe.

'She seems fine. Jessica was hideous but she coped.' 'Good. You look well,' he added. 'Less troubled.'

'I'm feeling better. Hadn't you better leave now? I've still got loads to do.'

'Did you get the ballgown you wanted?'

'I found it in my wardrobe. Whoever picked up my things from Toby's managed to put that in. I sent it to the cleaners and it looks marvellous, but you can't see it until later.'

'I look forward to that.'

When he'd gone, Lisa was surprised to find herself shaking and had to sit on the arm of the chair. It wasn't true that Stephanie had worn Joy, she'd made up the lie on the spur of the moment because she sensed that it would make it easier for Neal to accept her decision. The entire experience of turning down his gift had been highly unpleasant, but everything in her had rebelled at the thought of wearing a perfume that he gave to every woman in his life, regardless of whether or not it suited her.

All of Dior's range suited Lisa. She liked Diorissimo best, but Miss Dior was lovely too, and she alternated between them for formal functions. Joy seemed to her a perfume for the older woman, and she thought she was probably right because most of Neal's women were naturally older than her.

Unfortunately she wasn't yet mentally fit enough for an argument, however minor . It left her drained, bringing back memories of Stephanie as well as the terrible rows with Toby. Why couldn't life be peaceful? she wondered.

'Are you all right, Ms. Walker?' asked the nurse, suddenly coming into the room.

'Yes, thank you. Really, it was nothing.'

'Mr Gueras is a very forceful man,' she continued in a quiet voice. 'His poor wife is terrified of him. Everyone has to fit in with his ideas. He doesn't encourage individuals to express their own personality, especially not his women.'

'I don't think you should discuss him like this,' said Lisa coolly. 'You're also under a slight misapprehension. I'm not one of his women.'

'I apologise. Normally I only work in Mr Gueras's homes for his family and friends.'

'I'm a friend!' laughed Lisa quickly. 'I'm only saying that it isn't any more than that. Now I must get changed.'

'No more than that!' muttered the nurse to herself. 'I wonder who she thinks she's fooling? I've seen too many like her to be taken in by that story!'

In her room, Lisa peered in the magnifying mirror and wondered if every woman's skin looked terrible when enlarged. She applied a thin layer of moisturizer and sorted out her makeup brushes while she waited for it to be absorbed.

When she was finished she took out the floor-length, peach-coloured satin gown from its cover, laying it carefully on the bed. It was outstandingly elegant with wide shoulder straps ending in a bow in the middle of her back, and a skirt that hinted at the days of the bustle with its extra fullness, plus another larger velvet bow at the base of her spine.

When she slipped into it she shivered with delight at the feel of the material against her bare skin. All that she wore beneath it was sheer silk stockings and a wisp of suspender belt in matching peach. Finally she pulled on the elbow-length cream gloves, stepped into the dyed peach shoes and gave herself a final check in the full-length mirror. Her confidence rose as she studied her reflection. She was still a trifle too thin but the shine in. Her hair lightened her expression and some of the lingering anxiety of the past months had gone. The bustle gave her extra shape, which she needed, and the colour of the gown set off her creamy skin and dark brown eyes.