Better Off Red (4 page)

That was always the best moment, when I could squeeze my eyes shut and forget about all the sights and sounds and the stupidity of how and where we’d first laid eyes on each other and just feel what I was doing to myself, what she was doing to me.

I’d draw it out as long as I could. I had to be reasonable for Amy’s sake, but I always made the best of the imaginary minutes Hazel Eyes and I spent together. Something simple would push me over the edge. A single intense stroke of her fingers against the inner walls of my pussy or one forceful downward thrust of her palm against my clit. Or like during the last time, the best time, the way she whispered my name tripped me up in my covert pleasure operation and had me coming in heavy, saturated pulses all around my fingers.

I have no clue how I didn’t wake Amy up. I did moan out loud.

My bed did creak and groan under the grinding of my hips into the shitty springs, but even if I’d come out of my hazel-eyed stupor and seen Amy sitting straight up in her bed, staring at me like the sicko I was, I still couldn’t get this girl out of my mind, and the fantasies I had about her wouldn’t let me keep my hand away from my crotch.

And that was just back at the dorm. Out on campus, I started to become a little desperate.

I wanted to see her. I wanted to know her, but short of stalking the ABO house twenty-four hours a day, I didn’t know how to find her. MU had a pretty big student body, so running into someone who lived off campus and didn’t share your major or anything resembling your schedule would have been a little much to expect.

Asking Danni or Cleo about her was an option, but I felt foolish bringing her up, like a freshman asking a senior to prom.

• 27 •

reBekah WeatherspOOn

I decided once they were through with their weeks of initiation, my pruned fingers and I would find her. If she shot me down, I could suffer the embarrassment of rejection without Danni or Cleo being involved. I just had to get through this silly week of rush.

❖

On Friday morning, Danni told us to be in our room between four and seven p.m. to receive our invitations to initiation. I wanted to get ahead in my English reading, so I stayed in with Amy while she waited. By six o’clock, she’d already received three floral-covered envelopes, life-changing offers, sealed and delivered, but for some reason she didn’t seem all that excited.

“What’s the problem?” I asked. “Three is pretty good.”

“Yeah. I know. I was kinda hoping ABO would ask me and not

‘cause I’m so cute. I really like them,” she said.

“You know, so do I.” I looked at the clock. “You want to go get some dinner?” It was almost seven, and these chicks all seemed so anxious when they came to the door, I doubted any of them would wait this long.

“Yeah. Let me put my shoes on.”

“Don’t worry. Something tells me the ABO girls would hang out with us even if we didn’t join.”

I pulled the door open and walked smack into Cleo.

“Oh! Hey.”

“Ladies,” she said with a calm smile.

I was going to invite Cleo in, when I glanced at her hands. She was holding two bright red envelopes. One for Amy. And one for me.

• 28 •

Better Off red

Amy and I dropped onto her bed and stared at our envelopes.

I turned mine over and gazed at the circle of thick black wax pressed with the Greek symbols for Alpha Beta Omega. It was the most beautiful presentation of stationary I’d ever seen.

“Are you going to open it?” Amy peered up at me. She was so excited I thought she would bounce off the bed.

“Are you?”

“Of course. Here, let’s open them together.” We tore into the wax, and inside the envelope was a small square of black paper.

Below the crest, the day’s date, and my first, middle, and last names, it read:

We invite you to join us in our eternal sisterhood.

Interesting word choice, but I wasn’t surprised. Amy told me her mother still met with her Xi O sisters twice a month, and she was almost fifty. Joining a sorority meant you were in it for the long haul. I read the words over again, running my finger across the indentations the print made in the thick paper. The red script looked gorgeous against the ebony background. Something else was off, though.

“Do you remember filling out anything with your middle name?” I asked.

“No, but they could get them from the housing department or the chancellor’s office,” Amy said. “This is weird though.”

• 29 •

reBekah WeatherspOOn

“What? Let me see.” I grabbed the small piece of paper from Amy’s hand. The words were exactly the same, only this invitation had Amy’s name instead of mine. “What’s the problem?”

“It’s a bid card. There’s supposed to be a check box or a blank line or something, like a yes or no option so if we decide we don’t want to go through initiation, we can check no and send it back.”

“You think what, they aren’t giving us a choice?”

“Or they are assuming we’re going to say yes?”

“Are we?” I asked.

“I don’t know, Ginger. Are we?” I didn’t like it, but she had every right to give me crap about accepting the bid. Going through initiation with the sisters of Alpha Beta Omega was not something I wanted at all. I was glad that Amy and I had made some new friends, but my priorities hadn’t changed. School came first.

I should have told Amy that, right then and there, and I would have, if it weren’t for one small problem. I thought of the dark-haired girl with the hazel eyes and her perfect red lips almost every time I closed my eyes. I didn’t know what role she played in ABO, but I had a feeling it was something important. If I went through initiation, maybe I could see her again.

I also had to consider Amy. She had a big mouth. Having a big mouth didn’t mean she knew when, or even how to stick up for herself. Cleo, Danni, and the rest of the girls seemed perfectly normal, but any girl who had survived high school knew a thing or two about mob mentality. Greek culture carried with it the unshakable stigma of hazing. There was no way I would put up with that kind of crap. Amy would, if she knew it meant she could belong. Stalking Hazel Eyes and keeping tabs on my roommate were perfectly valid reasons to at least go through initiation. I reminded myself again, I could always quit.

“Okay,” I said confidently.

“Are you sure? You’re really going to do it?” Amy gasped. I could hear that horrible squeal of hers aching to get escape.

“I’m going with you, but only for two reasons. One, I don’t want you going into this alone. We barely know these girls and I don’t want you getting hazed.”

• 30 •

Better Off red

“Aw, Ginge.”

“And I can always quit. Which I will if this takes up too much time. I’m serious, Amy. I need to keep my grades up this semester.

I’m not going to let any parties or canine diabetes fun runs mess up my GPA.”

“Oh, Ginger. Thank you. Thank you. I swear this will be fun.

Thank you,” she squealed.

“Yeah, great. So what do we do now?” I flipped the card over as if instructions had magically appeared on the back.

“Um, we could call Danni or we could wait—” Amy was cut off by a knock on the door. We glanced at each other then I jumped up to answer it. Danni was standing in the hallway.

“Hey, we were just about to call you,” I said.

Her face dropped, her eyes bugging wide. “You’re not backing out are you?”

“No, but how did you know we’d—”

“One hundred and forty-seven years and no one has ever said no.” “Fair enough.”

“So now what?” Amy asked over my shoulder.

Danni handed us each a garment bag. “You’ll be ready at nine p.m. sharp. Someone will come for you.” She cocked her head to the side and looked us over before she went on. “Camila prefers it if you wear your hair down. Bye.” She grabbed the knob and pulled the door closed before we could ask any questions.

I unzipped the garment bag and laid the white eyelet dress on the bed. Well, it wasn’t exactly a dress.

“Is that a nightgown?” Amy asked.

“Yup.” There was a small red bag pinned to the hanger. Inside was a long white ribbon. I ditched it on my bed along with the hanger, then I held the baby-doll-style nightie up to my body. It came about an inch or two below my crotch.

“See! This is exactly what I was talking about. They’re going to parade us around in lingerie and then make us screw the Omega Beta Alpha boys and tape it.”

• 31 •

reBekah WeatherspOOn

“Shut up. They would never make us do that,” Amy said, holding her own scrap of lace up in front of her chest. “It is kinda kinky.”

“Yeah, kinky. Amy, I swear if pictures of me in this thing end up on the Internet, I’m going to kill you.”

“They won’t. Hey, who’s Camila?” We’d met all twenty-four active members of Alpha Beta Omega, but there hadn’t been anyone named Camila.

“Oh. I don’t know.” I didn’t, but I had an idea of who it might be.

❖

Three girls on our floor had accepted their bids to different sororities. All three of them beat Amy and me to the shower. I let Amy go first while I got our curling irons out. In an effort to up her overall sex appeal, Amy had brought a warehouse worth of black lace bras and panties with her to school. Lucky for her, we were nearly the same size and I swore by simple white cotton. I threw her one of my bras. I drew the line at lending her a pair of underwear. She had to settle for a light yellow pair she usually wore on laundry day.

After I pulled on the nightie, I almost reconsidered the bra. The tight lace of the top pushed my boobs together plenty without the use of underwire, if only it hadn’t been see-through.

We took turns doing each other’s hair. My red mane was so bright that sometimes I could swear it glowed in the dark. Thank God it was fairly straight. We both added some volume to our locks with big, soft curls. We had no idea what to do with the white ribbon, so I wrapped Amy’s around her head like a headband, tying a small bow off to the side. She did the same with mine. They didn’t say anything about shoes, so we both grabbed a pair of flip-flops from our closets. Then we sat on our beds to wait. For some reason, I couldn’t stop playing with my hands.

“You don’t think they’ll hit us, do you?” Amy asked. I looked at her. I’d never seen her frightened before. I don’t think Amy had

• 32 •

Better Off red

given the idea of us getting hazed any real thought until we actually started getting dressed. She’d been so focused on getting a bid, on getting into parties and meeting a cute guy, that she never considered the reality of what might happen to her if she agreed to go through with initiation. I knew I’d made the right choice to go with her.

“They won’t. But…”

“But what?” Amy’s eyes sprang wide.

“Nothing. They won’t hit us, and if they do we leave, okay?”

“Okay.”

I patted Amy on the knee and then I sent texts to Todd and my mom, telling them where we were going, just in case.

❖

At nine on the dot, there was a knock on our door. I gave Amy a weak smile and went to open it. She hadn’t said a thing while we waited. It freaked me out a little.

This time Paige and Cleo stood in the hallway. The playful glint in Cleo’s eye made me feel a little bit better. I didn’t think they would actually do anything cruel or painful to us, but I was still a little rattled. I swallowed, trying not to sound nervous.

“Hey. We’re ready.”

“No, you’re not.” Cleo’s tone was dry.

“But what—”

“Lose the underwear. All of it.” I cursed under my breath as Cleo and Paige stepped into the room. Amy and I quickly pulled off our undies and our bras. I glanced up at her. Considering I was in the same nightie, it was clear you could totally see my nipples, and even though I did some pretty decent landscaping in the shower, I should have shaved my pubes all off. Amy looked back at me and I could tell she wished she had too.

“I need your keys, your dorm cards, and your cell phones,”

Paige said. The look on her face was typically blank. Now she looked annoyed, and I knew we needed to hurry. We grabbed our stuff and dropped it in a black sack Paige seemed to pull out of thin air.

• 33 •

reBekah WeatherspOOn

“Now you’re ready. No more talking from here on out,” Cleo said, all humor gone from her voice. She handed Paige a white blindfold before she stepped behind me and told me to close my eyes. The cloth wasn’t uncomfortable, just tight enough that it would have irritated the crap out of me if I tried to open my eyes.

“Open your hand.” Cleo’s voice was right by my ear. I lifted my hand and felt my open palm cupped with Amy’s. She was shaking. I was able to sneak in a quick reassuring squeeze before we were led out the door.

❖

If the sisters of Alpha Beta Omega had set out to leave us disoriented and confused and, in Amy’s case, scared shitless, well then, they deserved some sort of award for their efforts.

After getting over the initial embarrassment of everyone in the lobby seeing my nipples at full attention and knowing that my hair color did match, floor to ceiling, I had the pleasure of tripping down the front stairs. I almost took Amy with me. Cleo managed to catch me before we both face planted into the concrete. I was pretty uncomfortable from the start, but the blind misstep had my heart thumping in my chest.

They loaded us into some sort of bus. I only knew because we had to walk up a few steps before we were seated. Then they took our flip-flops. A few moments later, we were moving. Danni had told us there would be twelve new members total. I didn’t know how many girls were with us when we got on. From the amount of unsteady breathing and the way the air moved, I knew it had to be at least eight or nine.

We’d been driving for a long time and it became obvious they were driving us in circles to keep us in suspense before they brought us back to the ABO house. At least I figured that’s where we were going.After an hour or so, the bus stopped and the door hissed as it opened.

• 34 •