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Authors: Rebekah Weatherspoon

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BOOK: Better Off Red
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Every sorority had its type. Three blue-eyed, platinum blondes bubbled around the Theta booth. Four African-American girls with identical deep toffee skin tones chatted up prospective members at the Sigma table. Every nationality, hair color, and body type was represented from group to group, never mixing together. It was boring and predictable, and Amy was loving every single minute of it.Each girl we met was perfectly nice, but there was something fake and overzealous about all of them. Except for the girls of Alpha Beta Omega.

By the time we reached their table, I was dying for a sandwich and a power nap. I also hadn’t masturbated in three days and had every intention of doing just that while Amy was in her two o’clock class.“This is the last one. I swear.” She held out a stack of pamphlets for me to hold while she opened her backpack. I shoved the bundle of papers inside then followed Amy toward the final table.

The sisters of Alpha Beta Omega had their booth set up at the far end of the quad. Their brother fraternity, Omega Beta Alpha, was set up across the grass, in clear view. I glanced over as we walked closer to a group of four girls dressed in white, black, and red. Their

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frat brothers were pretty cute. The girls behind the table, though, were much cuter.

Right away, it was obvious that this group of girls was different from the other sisters we’d spent our lunch break talking to. A gorgeous brunette stood, her arm linked with her curvaceous, golden haired soror (another word I learned that day). An African-American girl with a beautiful, full afro laughed along with whatever conversation they were having. A bright red ribbon added the perfect blast of color to her ebony curls. A fourth girl, a petite Asian beauty with boobs a little too big for her frame, refilled a bowl of red candies. All four girls wore small teardrop rubies hanging on delicate platinum chains around their necks. It was shocking to see such a diverse bunch and a pleasant surprise that, for once, Amy hadn’t been wrong. They were all hot.

The laughter and chatting died away naturally as we walked up to the table. The golden haired girl greeted us first. Some would have considered her heavy or even fat, but I thought she filled out her ABO T-shirt perfectly.

“Hi,” she said, extending her free hand. “I’m Danni. This is Cleo.” The girl with the chocolate brown skin checked us out with an upward nod of her head. “And Barb.” The Asian girl replied with a bright hello, her warm almond eyes sparkling in our direction.

“And this is Paige.”

The girl on Danni’s arm didn’t smile, but gazed over Amy and me before offering her own quiet, “Hey.”

“I’m Amy and this is Ginger.”

“Ginger?” Cleo asked, taking in my long red hair. “I thought my parents were cruel. Tsk, tsk, naming a ginger kid ‘Ginger.’”

“Yeah, it could be worse,” I said with a shrug. “At least it doesn’t rhyme with anything.”

“True. It could be worse. My last name is Jones.” I couldn’t say what sucked more, a name tag mocking your hair and your God-given beauty marks or being named after a blaxploitation character.

Biting back my chuckle, I glanced at Amy who didn’t get either joke. Luckily, Barb spoke up before Amy had a chance to ask any questions.

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Better Off red

“So are you ladies interested in joining Alpha Beta Omega?”

“She’s not.” Amy thumbed in my direction. I was instantly annoyed. Yeah, cheery meet-and-greets weren’t my scene, but this was the first group of girls who actually had my attention. I wasn’t about to tell them I thought their sorority was a complete joke. I should have explained that to Amy. “I had to beg her to come out with me…”

While Amy continued to assassinate my amazing character, a small movement off to the left snatched my attention. I fought to keep my mouth from popping open as Paige casually brushed her finger over Danni’s nipple. Again, I quickly glanced in Amy’s direction. She’d completely missed it, but Danni had caught my gawk and scramble. She cocked an eyebrow at me before grazing her teeth over her full bottom lip. I could feel the heat blush my face red as I looked back toward Amy. She hadn’t noticed a thing.

“You too cool for all this Greek mess?” Cleo poked at me playfully.

“What? No. I, uh, I just didn’t think about going through rush until she brought it up,” I replied lamely.

“We’ll be having our first open house tonight. How about you leave us your info and we’ll give you all the details.” Danni tapped a sign-up sheet sitting on the table.

“Okay,” Amy said instantly. I shrugged and took the pen Cleo handed to me.

All the slots of the first page were filled so I flipped to the next, looking for a blank line. And then the third and fourth. On the twelfth page, there was one open slot. Something felt off about their popularity. There hadn’t been a single girl at their table when we walked over, but it looked like every single freshman and sophomore girl on campus had signed up to rush ABO. Not sure what to make of it, I gripped the pen, ready to sign my week away. Before I could, my phone rang. I pulled out my cell and looked at the display.

“Excuse me. I gotta take this.” I handed the pen to Amy and tucked myself out of the way, under the shade of a nearby tree. “Hi, Mom.”

“Hi, sweetie. I just wanted to check on you. How’s my baby?”

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reBekah WeatherspOOn

“I’m fine. Amy’s trying to drag me through rush week with her,” I said loud enough for Amy to hear, forgetting that the girls of ABO could hear me too. Thank God they waved my comment off as a joke before dragging Amy into more pointless conversations about mascots and themed parties.

“Are you going to join a sorority?” Mom asked.

Keeping my voice low, I replied, “Probably not, but I’ll keep Amy company until rush is over.”

“Aw, honey. You’re such a good friend. Oh! Toddy’s here. He wants to talk to you.” I heard my mom tell my brother I was joining a sorority as she handed him the phone. Not my exact words. Linda Carmichael had a special sort of short-term Mom memory I had grown accustomed to.

“What up, Gingey?”

“Hey, Todd.” I didn’t fight the smile that spread across my face.

My brother was twenty-three and still never turned my mom down when she offered to cook for him in exchange for manual labor around the house. I loved him. He made it so easy. He knew me so well, knew that I hated my mom’s salmon cakes, her favorite thing to make for us. He knew I secretly loved my freckles, and although our parents were great people, it meant a lot to me that the both of us were adopted. Todd knew exactly what it felt like to know that your birth mother was dead, and he knew the way your heart ached once you realized you’d finally found a real family. My brother was my best friend.

Our dad was out of the country, lending his surgeon’s hands to the Red Cross in a coastal region of Brazil that had just been hit by an earthquake. He would be gone for several weeks, and I was glad Todd was still around looking after our mom.

“What’d she break?” I said flatly.

“Nothing. Dad got her a new DVD player, but he didn’t install it before he left. I’m hooking it up for her.”

“You’re such a good boy.”

“That’s what she keeps telling me. So you’re joining stuff now?”“No. My roommate wants me to, but—”

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Better Off red

“You should.” I didn’t bother holding in a burst of laughter.

“Easy now. Just listen. You move into the house. All those girls are walking around in their jammies, taking showers together, making breakfast naked. It’ll take about five point five seconds for you to figure out which ones are muff divers and which ones aren’t.”

I would have been eight shades of red having this conversation with anyone else, but Todd also knew I liked girls. He’d caught me kissing our neighbor, Kristen Lander, over the summer. I wasn’t exactly sure whether I was bisexual or what, but he knew I was trying to figure it out. After Paige’s little nipple maneuver, Todd may have had a point. A sorority might be a good place to start.

“That simple, huh?” I kicked a rock at my feet. I could feel Amy’s eyes on me, but I wasn’t ready to rush off the phone just yet.

“It is.”

“I don’t know yet. I could still totally like guys.”

“Well, sister, college is a great place to find out. It’s where I discovered my love for Sam Adams in the ongoing battle of liquor versus beer.”

“Yeah, thanks, Todd. I gotta go. Kiss Mom for me.”

“Will do.” Then Todd shouted, “Come here, Linda! I got a kiss for you!” I hit end, shaking my head. I hadn’t been away from home for very long at all, but I missed my family like crazy. Amy, on the other hand, seemed perfectly at home with the girls of Alpha Beta Omega.

“Sorry about that,” I said bashfully as I walked back toward the table.

“Don’t worry about it,” Danni said sweetly. “We were just telling Amy more about the mixer we’re going to have tonight. You two should stop by our house around nine?” She quirked her head in Cleo’s direction.

“Yeah, nine.”

I picked up the pen, turned to the thirteenth page, and wrote down my information. We said our good-byes and Amy finally agreed it was time for lunch.

“See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Amy handed me a black pamphlet. On the cover of the tri-fold was the red silhouette of a panther below the script of ABO.

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reBekah WeatherspOOn

“No. They seemed pretty cool.” I tucked the info page in my bag and headed off toward the cafeteria. As we walked, I looked back toward the Alpha Beta Omega table. The info sessions on the quad were supposed to go until four that afternoon, but the girls of ABO were already packing up to leave.


I wanted to kill Amy. All in, she’d planned to visit six information sessions, which meant I had to stop by six sorority houses.

The night went a little something like this: Amy and I would walk up to the front door of any particular house. We both wore white shirts with our fitted jeans. Amy wouldn’t let me wear green.

Giggly Girl A and her sidekick, Giggly Girl B, would greet us at the door and quickly invite us in. Over-anxious Girl would ask us to repeat our names and ask us our majors. Amy was undeclared, so she’d just bite her lip and shrug. I’d explain to everyone within earshot that there was actually a lot you could do with a degree in exercise science. Then I would repeat exactly what kinesiology was to the girls who had stumbled into the middle of the conversation.

After these in-depth analyses of our true personalities, we would be given a brief tour of the whitewashed living room and the granite topped kitchen. We’d accept a drink and a snack, then stand around with three dozen other prospective new members and talk more about classes and, of course, boys. I’d met thirty-four girls named Jessica, twenty-two named Kaitlin, sixteen Jennifers, and a very interesting girl with one arm named Parnin, who I suspected was admitted to a particular sorority for karma points.

I was on upbeat overload, and if I was being honest with myself, seriously considering giving up my quest for a female who could be more than a friend. I’d had enough estrogen to last me a few lifetimes. If the Alpha Beta Omega house hadn’t been our last stop on this slow tour through hell, I would have ditched Amy the moment I heard how much it cost to join a sorority. Screw Todd’s advice. There were other ways to meet girls.

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Better Off red

At the Xi O house, I had to give myself a break. Amy was talking another Jessica’s head off about how skinny jeans didn’t flatter anyone, and all I could think about was what time I should meet my lab partner on Saturday. I excused myself to the restroom, then wandered out the front door. I texted Amy, telling her where to find me when she was ready. She showed up a few seconds later.

“Is it that bad?” she asked, closing the door behind her.

“Yes, it is. Do you want to hang out with these girls? I mean, really?” If the answer was yes, I might have had to rethink the terms of our friendship.

“So far, no, but we haven’t gotten to know them yet and they haven’t gotten to know us.”

“Right, but why do we have to go through all this and pay to get to know them better? I’m perfectly happy just meeting people the normal way. You know, study groups, hanging out at the gym, at the cafeteria, crap like that.”

“No. I know, you’re right. But, Ginge, we only get to do this sort of thing once in our lives. Let’s just get through this week. If you get any bids, just turn them down. I promise, if I do end up pledging, I won’t let it affect you at all.”

“We live together. It’ll affect me.”

“Look, it’s only eight thirty, but let’s just head over to the ABO

house now and we can get the night over with.”

“Deal. And then we need to find food. Cheese and crackers do not a meal make.”

“Deal,” Amy said with a firm nod. “Let’s go.” She grabbed my hand and I let her drag me down the street.


You could spot the Alpha Beta Omega house from a mile away because the ABO house wasn’t a house at all. It was an enormous colonial mansion. You could have seen it from the moon. The other houses on the Row were nice, big enough to accommodate all their members, plenty of room for entertaining, but this place was amazing.

A wide brick path rose up the front lawn to the front door, framed

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reBekah WeatherspOOn

with several white columns. The brick facade stretched for yards and yards in either direction, and it would have taken me a few minutes to count all of the black shuttered windows that covered the three visible floors. In the center of it all, the seven-foot high Greek letters for Alpha Beta Omega sat molded to the face of the vaulted porch roof.

“Wow,” Amy gasped.

“Yeah,” I said breathlessly.

“You planning on going inside?” We turned around to see Cleo coming up the path, her arms loaded down with several boxes of pizza.“Yeah. Of course,” Amy replied.

I held out my hands for the boxes. “You need help?”

“Nah. Can you just grab the door for me?”

BOOK: Better Off Red
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ads

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