Between (30 page)

“All right,” Seth says, resting his hands on his hips. “I’m going to yell out a scenario, and I want you two to behave exactly as you would if it were real. Keiran, be careful with the fire around here. Charlie, if I call out a creature you don’t know, just say so. Ready?”

Keiran and I exchange glances and nod. I’ve been studying Max’s journal every night. There aren’t many creatures in those pages I don’t know. I shake out my arms and clear my head.

I’m ready.

“Warg! Behind you!” Seth yells.

The page from Max’s bestiary appears in my mind.
Warg: large demonic wolves known for their boundless energy and insatiable taste for blood
.

Even though I know it’s not real, my whole body quivers like a tuning fork and my movements quicken, fueled by fear. I thrust out my hand and spin, hurling a blast of wind. Keiran moves to the side. Fire has no effect on wargs. I continue to blast the imaginary target with powerful gusts of straight winds and spinning cyclones.

“Okay,” Seth calls. “The wind will throw it off course and diminish your smell, but how will you kill it?”

I stop the air assault and rest my hands on my hips. Fire’s out of the question. Water, maybe? I’m not sure. “Physical combat?”

Keiran gives me a You Must Be Crazy look. “You want to go head to head with something three times your size and with teeth longer than your fingers?”

I raise my shoulders. “What would you do?”

“Drown him,” Keiran says immediately. “Conjure up a wind strong enough to shove him to the nearest body of water, then command the water to swallow him whole.”

Seth points at Keiran. “He’s right,” he says, “and you know it pains me to say that.”

The idea of commanding water to swallow anything never crossed my mind. We’ve practiced my powers for days, but my mindset needs work, too. I need to start thinking darker. When it comes to attacking, I have to be quick and lethal. These creatures won’t hesitate to kill me. I can’t hesitate, either.

Seth claps his hands twice. “Again!”

Keiran and I step away from each other. He nods at me, and I nod back, which I’m pretty sure is our new high-five.

“Harpy! Four o’clock!” Seth yells.

Oh, I know the harpy. I can almost hear its screech.

A fireball hisses overhead as a jagged branch dislodges from one of the taller trees and swings heavily through the air.

“Stop!” Seth announces and nods toward the branch. “What’s your plan there?”

“Beat it to death?” It’s a question, and it shouldn’t be. I’ve got to be sure.

He nods. “I’m not saying it couldn’t work, but fire would be a lot quicker.”

Boo, fire
. I curl my lip, and Keiran pats my back. “Don’t worry, Freckles. You’ll get there. You still have that knife Alexander gave you?”

I raise the hem of my shirt so he can see the leather case. I still put it on every single day even though I’ve yet to have a reason to pull it out.

“Good,” Seth says. “Don’t forget—if you get close enough, you can use it.” He turns to Keiran. “Have you worked on combining elements yet?”

Keiran shakes his head. “Not yet. Alexander told me to wait until she’s mastered all four on their own.”

We run through several more creatures—dark gargoyles, minotaurs, hippogriffs, even the Mothman—before Seth finally says, “Enough!”

I fall to the ground, chest heaving, and stretch my legs across the cool grass. It wasn’t a complete disaster. Honestly, I feel a little more confident in my ability to actually defend myself. Air, water, and earth may not be as bland as I thought. I need to get creative.

A shadow falls across my face, and I open my eyes to see Seth standing over me. “You okay?”

“I’m exhausted.”

He holds his hand out. “You were amazing. I knew you’d catch on quickly, but that was really something.”

I slide my hand into his and let him pull me to my feet. I lean into him a little, finding my balance, and he smiles down at me.

“Take a break this afternoon,” he says. “How about we go see the unicorns tonight?”

Keiran’s head turns, and I don’t meet his gaze.

Every single part of me knows it’s not a date.
It’s not
.

Well, every single part of me except that delicious flutter in my belly.

Us. Alone. At night. No training.

“I’d love that,” I tell him.

It is absolutely not a date.

But his smile says he wishes it could be, too.

Tonight seems like a good reason to wear my new sundress. I’d bought it weeks ago, before I came to Ellauria, but I haven’t had a chance to wear it. Cute dresses aren’t really appropriate for training to kill murderous creatures.

The dress’s fitted top is such a pale blue it’s almost white, but the color deepens as it flows downward, ending in a turquoise shade identical to the Source’s brilliant waterfall in the Between. The hem brushes my knees when I bend over to slip on my silver sandals. When I straighten, I feel the familiar pulse against my collarbone as my aernovus attaches itself to my dress.

I unwind my braid and let my hair fall in soft waves over my shoulders. A little mascara, some lip gloss, and I’m ready.

I study the mirror.

It’s probably a little dressy, but I don’t care. Aside from our walks to and from Central Hall, Seth and I haven’t spent any time alone since the day he told me he wanted to kiss me. I’m taking full advantage of having him to myself without the eyes and ears of Central Hall around.

Screw Operation Stop Crushing on Seth. I may not be able to convince Seth to break their stupid romance rule, but I can definitely make sure he’s thinking about it.

I dab a bit more gloss in the center of my bottom lip and stand back.

I think that should do it.

When my door slides open and I step outside, Seth’s expression tells me I’m right. I tilt my head to the side. “Hi.”

His lips are parted, caught somewhere between surprise and a smile. “You dressed up.”

“I got so gross and sweaty at the Hollow earlier,” I tell him. “I felt like being pretty.”

“Well,” he nods, “success. I mean, you did. You are.”

I smile with my lips closed, holding his gaze. He is
so
thinking about it.

Seth glances down at what he’s wearing. “I feel underdressed.”

He has no idea how that plain white T-shirt makes his eyes and hair darker or the way his dark jeans hug him in all the right places. That outfit is torture.

The Fellowship is absolutely ruining my life.

“You look fine,” I tell him, and now he’s the one with the close-lipped smile and mischievous eyes. We stand like that, daring each other, until footsteps pound against the wooden deck over our heads.

Seth’s head turns immediately and he backs away, staring over the railing as a group of Apprentices come out of the room above mine and make their way down the stairs, hardly looking at us as they pass.

This is how it will always be. Fun and flirty when no one can see us, rigid and solemn when they can. I stare at the wooden planks beneath my silver sandals. That’s not the Seth I want.

“What happened?” he asks, lifting my hand to examine a purple-blue bruise across the top of my knuckles.

“I knocked it against the edge of the kitchen counter earlier,” I tell him. “No big deal.”

I try to pull my hand away, but he pulls back. He holds his other hand, palm-side down, over mine. A white glow washes over the bruise, and it feels like icy gel is sliding over my hand. When he releases me, the bruise is gone.

I turn my hand one way, then the other. “Thanks,” I tell him.

He shrugs half-heartedly. “It’s what I do. Ready to head over to the field?”

I nod and wait for his arms to slide around me so we can flicker.

“I thought maybe we’d walk this time,” he says.

“Sure,” I reply, forcing a smile even though I know it’s pointless. He knows I’m disappointed. Flickering is another thing that’s pretty much stopped since the day of the parallel attack. He’s hardly pulled me close since.

“I just think we shouldn’t do anything to make this any harder than it already is,” he says quietly, responding to my feelings again.

I shake my head and say nothing. I don’t trust anything that might come out of my mouth right now, and besides, how can I argue when I know he’s right? Still, he’s here, and this is as close to a date as we’ve ever been on. Surely he notices that, too.

Of course Seth wants to make the rules easier to follow while I’m doing my best to pretend they don’t exist. It’s one more thing that makes us “us,” and one more reason I have to get over this need to kiss him.

“Walking’s fine,” I say, clipping my words and turning for the stairs. I head down and through the lobby, staying a few steps ahead of him the whole time. When we reach the main path, it takes too much effort to out-walk his longer strides, and I give up.

I never should’ve worn these sandals.

Or this dress.

Seth doesn’t make me talk, and I’m glad. He knows what’s happening in my heart anyway. I’m frustrated that we’ve lost what we once were. He’s letting the Fellowship map out his life for him, and I’ve had enough of it. This is who he is, a rule-follower, and I’ve always known it. But now, right now, it kills me that he can’t look past it.

I know he knows all of that. When I steal a look at him, I’m pretty sure I see the same emotions on his face, too.

Let it go, Charlie
.

The rounded hill that hides the door I passed through the first time I set foot in Ellauria rises from the ground on my right. I keep my eyes on it as we pass.

Seth’s fingers twitch against mine. “What are you thinking about?”

“I’m wondering what I’d be doing right now if I didn’t know about all this.”

“You’d be on your front porch, balancing your sketchbook on your knees, drawing something,” he says. “You’d be so absorbed in scratching your pencil across the pages, you’d hardly notice when I show up until the lawnmower starts and snaps you out of it. It’d probably startle you so much you’d drop your pencil and say one of your ridiculous words.”

I smile to myself, remembering the conversation Sam and I had the last time I saw him. “Duck. I’d say duck.”

Seth laughs. “Of course. Duck.”

He points to the two unicorns grazing in the apothecary’s field. The taller one trots toward us as we approach and dips his head over the broad wooden fence.

“Charlie, meet Dimitrius,” Seth says, rubbing between the unicorn’s ears.

Dimitrius is almost blindingly white from head to tail with a coat that literally gleams. I scratch my fingers across his velvety snout, and he whinnies. It’s the happiest sound I’ve ever heard—a joyful melody of giggles and neighs.

Seth leans back against the fence. “How do you like training with Keiran?” he asks.

As soon as he mentions training, I see the dead trees in the Between. I keep my eyes on Dimitrius, focusing on staying relaxed. “It’s fun. He’s been really great.”

Bare, broken branches stick in my mind.

Great. He’s going to notice
.

“You okay?” he asks.

Even if he suspects I’m not telling him everything, he can only know as much as I tell him, right? He may be a human lie detector, but he’s not a mind-reader.

I run my fingers from the tip of Dimitrius’s snout to the top of his head, scratching the soft hair above his eyes. “Yep. Of course. Just tired of talking about training all the time.”

He pushes off the fence and stands with his eyes on me and his hands on Dimitrius. “You sure that’s it?”

He knows. He knows. He knows
.

I start an inner monologue of everything I want to be true and all the things I want him to feel from me:
We didn’t go in the Between. We didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. I’m totally committed to following the rules around here. Why would we go to the Between when we were specifically told to stay in Ellauria?

There’s a neigh in the distance, and I see the other unicorn trotting toward us.

“Ah, Cortesia’s jealous,” Seth says, momentarily distracted. I’m so grateful I could kiss the unicorn right on the mouth.

Cortesia steps up to the fence line and stretches her neck alongside Dimitrius. I oblige, petting each of them with one hand. Cortesia’s color is more gray than white, and the shine to her coat makes her look nearly metallic. After a minute or so, both unicorns look so relaxed I worry they might fall over.

“Seth!”

Ugh. Clara. Heat crawls across my chest. I don’t mind a diversion, but does it have to be her? There she is, five-foot-ten of perfection personified, and I immediately feel smaller. I look at her because I can’t help it, in the same way that I was once fascinated by celebrities back home.

“Hello, Empress.” He responds like he doesn’t hate her, which is annoying.

“Visiting the unicorns?” she asks.

No, Clara. We’re braiding each other’s hair
. I roll my eyes and make a face at Dimitrius.

“Yes,” he replies. “What are you up to?”

“I’m on my way to meet a group of Apprentices to take them to the Hollow. It’s my turn to give them the lowdown on fairies. Speaking of which,” she places a hand on her hip, “I don’t think I’ve seen Charlie’s name on any of the Apprentice lists.”