Between Us: Sex on the Beach (15 page)

I
T HAD
been a night from heaven so far. We’d been in bed ever since this afternoon, and if I had my way? We’d never fucking leave it again. As soon as we left this room, real life would come crashing back to us. I didn’t want that.

Didn’t want to deal with the shit I knew we’d have to deal with.

As soon as I left, I would have to be Austin, big brother to Rachel. Always responsible. Always there. I wouldn’t be Austin, hot bartender who Mackenzie Forbes picked. I wouldn’t be this version of myself. I’d be ordinary.

It might be after midnight, but I was refusing to get up and leave. Refusing to be me. I rolled on top of her and kissed her, trying to shut my mind off. Trying to ignore that inner voice that mocked me for being me. And afterward, as I lay on top of her, my breath coming out heavy from the mind-blowing orgasm I’d just had, I closed my eyes against the overhead light above her bed.

She hugged me close. Fucking hugged me. Why did that affect me more than the earth-shattering sex? It didn’t make any sense. “Can you stay the whole night?” she asked. “Or do you have to go home to Rachel?”

“I have my neighbor at my house watching her, so I’m good. She’s kind of like a mother to us. The closest thing we have, anyway.” I sighed and lifted up on my elbows, fairly certain my fucked-up feelings were sufficiently hidden from her. “Rachel’s old enough to be alone, obviously, but I wanted someone to keep an eye on her after the whole party thing.”

She nodded and reached out, smoothing my hair. “What happened earlier?”

“She told me she was going to her friend’s house, but instead she went to a party I’d told her she couldn’t go to. Turned out, I was right about it being bad news.” I clenched my jaw, getting angry all over again. “There was drugs, sex, and booze, but at least she was smart enough to call me and get help.”

“She could have lied and gotten a cab,” Mackenzie said, smiling. “It shows how much she loves you that she called you and admitted her mistake.”

“Yeah, I guess.” I shrugged and rolled off her. I landed on my back, and rested my hands over my stomach. I always hurried out of the room after sex. Was always in a rush to leave the scene, so to speak. To get home. For once, I didn’t want to fucking move, and I’d been here almost all night. “I think she wanted to get in trouble, maybe. Wanted to own up to the lie.”

“Is she grounded for life?”

“Nah. Just for a month.” I turned by head toward her. She was on her back, too, her dark hair splayed all across the pillow. Her green eyes were soft and warm. Her lips swollen from my kisses. I wanted to take a picture so I could remember this moment forever, but that wouldn’t be permitted. No pictures. No news stories. “She came to me. Like you said, it was a mature decision. I didn’t want to punish her too strictly after that.”

“Maybe that was her goal all along,” Mackenzie said, laughing. “Her plan to get out of a huge punishment if her lie was discovered. I would’ve done that if I were her.”

I thought about it. Why, that little... “Son of a bitch.”

She laughed and rolled onto her side, resting her weight on her elbow. “Yeah. You might have gotten played.” She patted my chest, directly over my heart. “Don’t worry. It’s happened to the best of us.”

“Not to you, I’d bet,” I muttered, glowering at the ceiling. Had Rachel played me? Probably. The girl was smart like that. I didn’t know whether to be pissed or impressed. “Damn her and her high IQ.”

She laughed. “I don’t have kids. When I do, I’m sure they’ll lie to me.”

“Do you want them?” I met her eyes hesitantly. “Kids, that is.”

“Yeah. Of course I do.” She smiled, and her whole face kind of…glowed. “I’d like at least two. I was an only child, and it sucked most of the time. I was always alone. So, maybe one of each? The boy and then the girl.”

I laughed, reaching out to wrap a strand of her hair around my finger. “I’m pretty sure you don’t get to pick the gender.”

She lifted a shoulder. “By the time I’m ready, I might be able to.” She nibbled on her lower lip. Her freckles danced over the bridge of her nose. Fucking adorable freckles. “What about you?”

“Well, I—” Her phone rang, so I stopped talking. When she didn’t grab it, I raised a brow. “You going to answer that, or what? It’s kind of late for casual calls.”

“Not in my world, it isn’t. And nope, not answering. It’s my agent.” She rolled her eyes. “He’s called me at least ten times in the past twenty-four hours. I’ll call him back later, when I’m in the mood.”

“How do you know it’s him?”

“Special ringtone.” She bopped me on the nose. “Now answer my question.”

“Which one?” I asked.

Her mouth lifted on the left side. A small half-smile. Her phone stopped ringing, and the room was silent again. “Do you want kids someday?”

“I don’t know. I’m pretty fucked up. I would need a hell of a great wife to even it out so they stood half a chance of being normal.”

“You’re not too ‘fucked up’ for kids,” she said, frowning at me. “You’re already raising one. The teenage years are the hardest, and you’re there right now. If you can do that? You can do babies.”

I tugged on her hair again, the warmth in my chest spreading outward at the compliment. “You wouldn’t say that if I wanted
you
to have my messed-up babies.”

Her eyes went wide. The phone dinged, announcing she had a voicemail. She still didn’t reach for it. “Right now? I’d run in the opposite direction. But if we were older? I’d have your messed-up babies, and I’d love them.”

“Well, then…” I pulled her onto my chest. She looked down at me, her hair framing her face. “Maybe I’ll come knocking on your door in ten years. I can write you a song and sing it on your doorstep, and then you’ll know why I’m there. Does that sound good?”

She didn’t laugh. Didn’t even smile. Did she think I was serious? Hell,
was
I serious? “It sounds perfect.”

The smile faded off my face. That sounded an awful lot like an actual plan or a promise. I should be freaking out right now. Running away. Telling her I was fucking around, because I had been. Or…maybe I hadn’t been. It wouldn’t work between us right now, but that didn’t mean it couldn’t in the future.

When Rachel was in college, and I was free to move…could it actually work?

“Mackenzie?” I lifted my hand, curling it around her cheek. She was so soft and sweet. So very perfect. Everything I wasn’t. A guy like me didn’t deserve her. “I’m…shit, I don’t know.”

I wanted to tell her that I would wait for her, and ask her to wait for me. But that wasn’t fair or realistic.
And I wasn’t any good for her. Sure, I’d be thankful for every day she gave me, knowing she could have done so much better than an asshole like me with a record and a history darker than midnight itself, but that didn’t mean I’d be the best thing that ever happened to her.

But it did mean I’d very well know I didn’t deserve her, so I would treat her like the fucking princess she was. Every second of every day. Could I actually get a happily-ever-after ending in my life?

“You never know, right?” she asked, breathlessly. “In a few years, we might see each other from across the room, like in the movies. We’ll look at each other, locking eyes, and then in slow motion…” She leaned in closer, slow inch by slow inch. “We’ll come together. And with one kiss?”

I closed my eyes. “We’ll know.”

“We’ll just know,” she agreed.

I closed the distance between us, melding our mouths together in a picture-perfect, amazing, breathtaking kiss. Right here, right now, life was sweet. But nothing that felt
this
good lasted long. For once, I wanted to believe it could, though.

Wanted to believe that a girl like her could want me, and actually be happy with me at her side indefinitely. I wanted to believe in fairy tales, unicorns, and all that crazy, shiny, happy shit that made no sense in the real world. “Mac, I should—”

Her phone rang again. It sounded different, so it wasn’t her agent. She broke off the kiss and reached for it, smiling at me apologetically. “Sorry. That’s my PR rep. If she’s calling, it’s important. Just give me a sec?”

“Sure.”

I rested my hands behind my head, my mind whirling around at breakneck speeds. I was a bit of a commitment-phobe, and I wasn’t going to lie about that. But with Mackenzie, this unspoken promise that wasn’t really a promise felt abso-fucking-lutely right.

“He’s a what?” Mackenzie said, her eyes locked on me. “No, I didn’t know that. He didn’t mention it. Huge shocker there, huh?” She paused, her eyes going even narrower. “Who knows?” A pause. “Well, that’s just fabulous.”

My heart stuttered in my chest. Oh God. This was it. She knew who I was. What I was. She must have found out that I beat the hell out of my dad, and that he’d pressed charges against me. I had a record because of it. I thought she would understand why I’d done what I’d done, but I guess I’d been wrong.

This was the beginning of the end.

And there was nothing I could do to stop it.

I
CLUTCHED
the phone so tight my hand hurt, but I couldn’t make myself relax. Just seconds before, I’d been in Austin’s arms. I’d been so sure that we were going somewhere great. Somewhere with promise and hope and maybe even love. He’d been looking at me so tenderly. As if
I
mattered to him.

He’d told me things he’d never told anyone else.

I’d done the same.

And now, I found out it was all a ploy to get closer to me? To sell my pictures? All the warning signs had been there, but I’d ignored them stubbornly. God, how could I have been so freaking stupid
again
? He’d lied to me once. He’d lied to me again.

There wouldn’t be a third time.

He was a photographer. A freaking paparazzi. He sold photos to tabloids. Photos I sought to avoid at all costs. Already, pictures of Austin and me in the snorkeling cove were surfacing. He hadn’t wasted any time in betraying me. My PR rep said that he must have had an accomplice, because God knows he’d been too busy blowing my mind straight into stupidity to take pictures of it all.

And I’d fallen for every single word, too. Eaten it up like candy.

“…It’s on TMZ, ET, E! News. You name it, the pictures are there. And they know who he is, too. They’re calling you the princess and the pauper.” I heard something slam down. “Did you know what he was? Or that he had a record for kicking the snot out of his father when he was seventeen?”

I closed my eyes. That last part didn’t surprise me a bit. His father deserved it and more. But the rest? Him using me for a good story? That hurt. “No, but I’ll take care of it. I’ll lay low until it’s time to come home. Don’t worry.”

“This isn’t something we can just wait out, Mackenzie. It’s everywhere. You’re not with a drummer or a frat boy this time. You’re with a guy who almost went to jail.” Another slam. “And on top of that, he’s in the
paparazzi
. Do you have any idea what that means?”

“Yes,” I said through my teeth. “I do.”

I hadn’t stopped watching him since Theresa called. He was looking back at me, his own face looking grim. It hurt to look at him now, knowing what I knew. I’d thought I met a guy who liked me for me. I’d obviously been wrong.

“We’ll talk when you get back. I suggest leaving town early. At the very least, don’t leave your hotel room until you’re going to the airport. Lay low and don’t be seen with him again, no matter what you do.” She sighed. “The paparazzi are going to be swarming that place now. And him, too. Serves him right, the jackass.”

I nodded, then realized she couldn’t see me. Duh. “I’ll let you know what I decide to do once I’m alone again. I need a minute.”

“Oh my God. Is he there with you now?” Theresa asked, whispering as if he could hear her or something. “Do you need security to come up and assist you with removal?”

“No, I’ve got it.” I cleared my throat. “But I’ll remember that if I do need help.”

I hung up on her. My heart squeezed so tight that it hurt to breathe. My palms sweated and my legs trembled so badly I knew I would fall flat on my face if I tried to stand. I couldn’t even think about moving from my spot on the bed. I was naked. Laughably, vulnerably naked…yet it didn’t matter. I’d trusted him. Put myself out there. And he’d betrayed me.

Utterly, completely, heartlessly betrayed me.

“I can explain,” he said, his voice soft.

“Oh, really?” I asked, covering my face. “Tell me, was it funny, knowing you fooled me?”

He pushed himself up into a seated position. “I assume you found out about my past? About me getting arrested for beating my dad into the ground?”

“Oh, yeah. I found out about that all right.” I laughed, trying to hide the pain piercing my heart. “But I don’t care about what you did to him. From what you told me, he deserved a beating, if not more.”

He blinked at me. “If not you’re not upset about that, then what’s going on? If it’s about me taking—”

I snorted. “You know, you’re good. Better than the others. I had no idea what you were or what you were doing. None at all, and I’m good at spotting people who are only looking to sell me out.” I rolled out of the bed, grabbed my robe, and closed it around myself. “How could you do that to me, Austin? After I…after we…?”