Beyond Broken (The Bay Boys #3) (28 page)

Maddie’s hands were still buried in his hair, but as he unbuttoned and unzipped the dark denim jeans she’d worn that night, her hands wandered to his as well.
 
She could feel the thick length of him whenever their bodies pressed close.
 
When she looked down between them, she saw the undeniable dark ridge of his erection straining in the tight confines of his jeans.

Just as she reached down to unbuckle his belt, he stopped her.
 
Glancing back up at his face, she saw the turmoil there.

“I can’t have you touching me from now on,” he murmured, his voice raspy.
 
“Please.”

Disappointment flooded her, but she nodded.
 
She understood that this must be complicated for him.
 
Difficult.
 
So, she took her hands away and kept them at her sides.
 
In return, as though saying thank you, he brushed his lips over the tip of her nose and then he was pushing down her jeans.
 
Her underwear went with them, the cold air sudden and shocking.

Just as she gasped, he lowered both of them to the carpeted floor of the office.
 
It wasn’t comfortable, but Maddie wouldn’t complain.
 
Caleb lay her back and she nervously looked up at him, her lips parted, as he rocked back on his heels to gaze down at her bare body.
 
The intimacy was unbelievable.
 
Every inch of her was on display under the harsh lighting of the office, offered up for his leisurely exploration.
 
She’d never felt more stripped and more exposed to one person in her entire life.

She resisted the urge to shield herself or shy away from him.
 
This would take courage and she wasn’t afraid.
 
Nervous, yes, but not afraid.

When his fingers trailed down from the valley between her breasts, dipping into her belly button along the way, and ending at the small dark curls between her thighs, she made a quiet whimpering sound in the back of her throat.
 
Caleb’s fingers parted the flesh there and her hips lifted off the ground when he circled the small bundle of hidden nerves with the pad of his thumb.

He just watched her.
 
His dark eyes were impossibly black as they roamed over her body and face.

“Say something,” she whispered.

He bent over her body, his thumb still lazily circling round and round.
 
A fierce kiss stole her breath and then she moaned because he pressed harder between her thighs.

Oh my God
.

“I imagined you like this,” he murmured against her lips.
 
“
So often
.
 
Even from when I first saw you walk into this garage.”

Her cheeks flushed even more when he pulled away, dropping a light kiss onto her breasts.
 
She gasped when he entered her with a finger.

His brow furrowed.
 
“Fuck, you’re tight, princess.”

Tell him
, she thought
.
 
Now was the right time to tell him.

“Caleb, I…I…”

I’m a virgin.

But the words stuck in her throat.
 
And when he pushed another finger inside her, trying to loosen her up, all thoughts flew out the window.

She wanted to touch him desperately.
 
She wanted to peel off his t-shirt and explore the tattoos he had hidden away.
 
She wanted to thread her hands through his thick locks and pull him down for a kiss.
 
But she kept her arms next to her, her fingers curling into the thin, scratchy carpet beneath her.

When he leaned away, her heart gave another nervous jolt when he unbuckled his belt and pulled the black leather through his belt loops.
 
He looked down at her, cradling the material in his hands, and then said, “Maddie, there are…I need certain things.
 
I won’t be able to relax unless you’re…restrained.”

Maddie bit her lip, her eyes darting to the belt.
 
“I promise I won’t touch you,” she whispered.

He ran a hand through his hair.
 
“I know.
 
I just…”

So, this was his kink.
 
He needed to tie up his partners, restrain them so he would have complete control, no surprises.
 
She understood why he craved that power.

Ignoring the warning bells going off, Maddie finally nodded and offered up her wrists.
 
This frightened her just a little bit, but she knew that Caleb would never take advantage of her position.

Caleb kissed her palms as he wrapped her wrists with his belt.
 
Before she knew it, he drew her hands up over her head and attached the belt to the leg of her desk, wrapping it around until she was securely bound.
 
He’d done this before, she realized, a flash of jealousy cutting her.
 
He’d tied her up so neatly and efficiently that it couldn’t have been his first time.

Stop it
, she thought.
 
He was here with her now.
 
Not anyone else.

Once he was satisfied, he gazed down at his handiwork, at her body, at the way her breasts lifted higher because of her restrained arms, at the smooth hollow dip of her stomach.
 
He leaned forward, sucking on her nipples once more until she was about to scream with frustration and yet beg him to never stop.
 
Then he lifted away, unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans, and tugging down his boxer briefs underneath.

Maddie felt a full body flush consume her when she saw his cock for the first time.
 
The first she’d ever seen.
 
At least, in person.
 
She’d always been curious about sex and she’d never shied away from pictures or porn videos.
 
But Caleb’s cock was perfect.

Thick and long with a generous curve.
 
The head was swollen pink, the veins on the shaft protruding, and a small drop of precum pushed its way from the tip.
 
Maddie’s mouth watered.
 
She wanted to taste him, wanted to lick up the sides of his cock until
she
made
him
moan with pleasure.
 
Would he ever allow her to do that?
 
Or was that against his rules?

She wiggled in her restraints as he reached into his back pocket and pulled a condom from his wallet.
 
He gave her a dark, knowing look that made her bite her lip as he tore open the packet and rolled it down.

Maddie couldn’t believe that this was happening.
 
It only seemed like a few moments ago, they were arguing.
 
And now she was tied to a desk with a belt and Caleb was running his fist down his mouth-watering cock, readying it for her.

Caleb lifted her thighs, leaning down to capture her lips as he lined up their bodies.
 
“Ready?” he murmured.

Maddie nodded against him, not trusting her voice.
 
She was doing this.
 
She couldn’t believe that she was doing this.
 
He was kissing her when she felt him press into her body, slowly, and then with a little more force.
 
It felt wicked in some way that she was completely naked and he was still completely clothed.
 
His jeans rubbed against her inner thighs, creating delicious friction.

Then she felt a pinch deep inside and she tensed.
 
Caleb groaned against her lips, “
Jesus
, Maddie.
 
You feel so good.”

Tears pooled as pain erupted, but she kept her eyes closed, hoping that he wouldn’t notice as he tore through her hymen.
 
Caleb continued to thrust between her thighs, oblivious.
 
She opened her mouth to say something, but then bit her lip at the last moment.
 
She hoped that the pain wouldn’t last long.

When he drew her nipples into his mouth, tiny stabs of pleasure helped a little, but Maddie was a long way off from feeling the aching desire that she’d felt moments before.
 
Every thrust reminded her of the belt wrapped around her wrists.
 
She wanted to feel him, to explore the lines of muscles in his back and the cords of his strong arms.
 
A part of her resented being tied up like this.

Caleb’s cheeks were flushed and his dark eyes were pitch black as he hovered over her.
 
His fingers delved between her curls again, finding her clit, but Maddie was too tense to relax completely.

“I’m about to come, Maddie,” he grated, his jaw locked tight.
 
“Are you—”

She shook her head, cutting him off.
 
Beyond embarrassed, she murmured, “I don’t think I can, Caleb.
 
It’s okay, just…”

She trailed off and he frowned, lips parting.
 
She was mortified.
 
Completely
mortified.
 
She felt like a freak.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chanted and then his eyes squeezed tight, his entire body going tense above her.
 
His hips jerked as he orgasmed, settling himself deeper into her body and Maddie grimaced, feeling another remnant of shooting pain.

Caleb went still over her, chest heaving, and when his eyes snapped open, he looked almost remorseful.
 
His hands cupped her head and he whispered, “Shit, I’m sorry, Maddie.
 
I lost control.”

“It’s okay,” she whispered, feeling her throat burn.
 
“Will you untie me?”

His fingers made quick work of the belt buckle and he massaged her wrists once they were free.
 
He was watching her.
 
She could feel his gaze but she couldn’t quite bring herself to meet his eyes and she didn’t know why.
 
She’d wanted this.
 
So why did she feel like she’d just made one of the biggest mistakes of her life?

It hadn’t been awful, at least before he’d tied her up.
 
But the bitter burn of disappointment made her want to cry.
 
She’d always imagined sex to be a beautiful, natural thing, but now that she’d done it, it made her feel…
empty
.

Caleb pulled out of her body, looking down to peel off the condom when he froze.
 
Maddie felt his body stiffen and then his eyes swung to her.

Dread pooled in the pit of her stomach.
 
“What?” she whispered.

She looked at the condom and then saw the blood.
 
She swallowed thickly, her face paling, when she met his eyes again.

“
Please
fucking tell me that you just started your period or something and this isn’t what I think it is,” he said, his voice low and controlled.

Panic and embarrassment flooded her veins and her eyes darted away.
 
“I…I don’t…”

You should’ve told him, you idiot!
her mind screamed.

“Maddie,” he barked.
 
Maddie could understand if he was a little pissed that she hadn’t told him, but what she hadn’t expected was the
rage
pouring off him.
 
“Please tell me you weren’t a fucking virgin just now.”

Get yourself together
, she told herself.
 
She had nothing to be ashamed of just because she hadn’t slept with other guys before now.
 
She didn’t understand
why
he was so angry.

So, she lifted her chin and said, “I was.”

“Fuck!” Caleb burst out, making her jump.
 
“
Fuck!
”

He shot to his feet, ripping off the condom before flinging it in the trash, and zipping up his jeans.
 
Maddie sat up, huddling in on herself to cover her naked body.
 
She wanted to throw up.
 
She felt the bile rise in her throat.

Caleb ran a hand through his hair, pacing a little.
 
“Why?” he asked, glaring down at her.
 
“Why the fuck would you—”

He cut himself off and cursed again.
 
Then he looked away like he couldn’t stand the sight of her and stalked to the office door, throwing it open and then slamming it shut on his way out.
 
Numb, Maddie listened to his footsteps down the stairs and then silence.

He left
, was her stunned thought.
 
He just left.

Maddie’s mind was reeling.
 
Her ears rang.
 
Everything around her looked like a fuzzy dream—or nightmare, rather—like things weren’t real.
 
The office that she’d spent so much time in was now a strange, unfamiliar place and all she wanted to do was leave.

She thought that things would be different between them from now on, after what he’d told her.
 
Remembering the naive hope that had sprouted in her chest earlier, now Maddie just felt like the biggest fool on the planet.

She smelled like him.
 
His scent was all over her skin.
 
When she licked her dry lips, she tasted him.
 
It was too much.
 
She needed to leave.

He left
.

Sobs escaped from her throat before she realized it and then she couldn’t stop them.
 
She slapped a hand over her mouth to muffle them, but a few escaped.
 
The space between her thighs ached as she pulled on her clothes, a relentless reminder that the last few moments
had
actually happened and she hadn’t just imagined it all.

He left
.

He left.

He left.

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