Beyond Reach (20 page)

“Sure. What?”

“We're heading over to pizza, and I thought maybe he coulckmeet us there.”

“What's up with Garrett Pierson hanging with you and Olivia?”

“He's my lab partner,” I say somewhat defensively. Now I'm wondering what's up with Alex and Conrad being so suspicious of poor Garrett? I mean, these guys are Christians too. They know that we should reach out to others.

“It just seemed like Garrett needed a friend,” I tell him. “So Olivia and I have befriended him. No big deal.”

Alex nods. “Hey, that's cool.”

“Yeah. So, you'll talk to Conrad?”

“No problem.”

Then I head back to Garrett and Olivia. “Guess that's all I can do.”

“Wanna get pizza?” Olivia asks, more to Garrett than me.

“I guess.” He looks a little unsure, like he's still trying to figure out how he got involved with us two girls. And I suppose he seems a little suspicious, like why are we so interested in him.

But as Olivia drives us across town, we make some jokes and the atmosphere lightens up. Why have I been obsessing over this guy? He actually seems pretty normal. Maybe I'm all wet about him being the suicide guy, not to mention gay. I remind myself of what Pastor Ken said about balance.

The pizza place is already pretty packed, mostly with kids that have been at the game, but Garrett and I find a
table against the wall and we stake it out while Olivia gets at the end of a long line to place our order.

“You're kind of a loner, aren't you?” I say, hoping to get him to open up a little.

“Yeah.”

“So, have you always been like that? I mean, I sort of remember you from middle school, and it seemed like you had some friends.”

“Like the chess club?” He grins.

“You said you were friends with Cameron.”

“That was more like grade school.”

Oh.”

He adjusts his dark glasses, which are still hiding that shiner.

I glance over to the counter, wishing that Olivia would hurry since this conversation could use some help, but the line appears to be frozen in time. Then I notice Cameron approaching her. “Hey, there's Cameron. He's talking to Olivia.”

Garrett turns to look. “Do you think he's officially asking her to be in the band?”

“I don't know why not. I mean, didn't you think she did great today?”

“She was awesome.”

I smile at Garrett, glad that he appreciates my best friend's musical talents. “But what about Jack?” I scan the room to see if he's here too. Fortunately, I don't see him. But I do see Dirk over at the soft drink dispenser.

“Jack's definitely a problem,” says Garrett.

“I think he was really threatened by Olivia. But I don't get that. Do you really think he's gay? And if he is gay, would that really make him so hateful to her?”

He shrugs. “Hard to say. Maybe Jack's got a crush on Cameron and is worried that Cameron might be into Olivia.” He nods to where the two of them are talking with their heads, close together. I assume it's because it's so noisy in here, but it could be misunderstood as something else.
“That
could make him jealous.”

I laugh. “Well, it seems slightly ridiculous. Although now that you mention it, Cameron does seem to like Olivia a lot. But she is pretty and nice. Don't you think so, Garrett?”^

He gets a funny look. “You're not trying to set me up with her, are you?”

“No, of course not. But don't you think she's pretty? I mean, Cameron and lots of guys could do much worse.”

Garrett nods. “Yeah, she's pretty. But so are you.”

I smile. “Well, thanks. I wasn't fishing for compliments.”

“And you're both nice.”

“And so are you.” Just as I say this, I see Alex and Conrad walk in. And before I even have a chance to wave, Conrad spots me. At first he smiles, and then he notices that I'm with Garrett and frowns. I wave anyway, motioning for him to come over here.

“Don't look now,” I say quietly to Garrett, “but Conrad's coming, and I think he's still worried about you and me.”

Garrett actually laughs. “Well, I'm sure you can straighten him out.” Now was it just my imagination or did he put an emphasis on the word
straighten?

“Want to join us?” I sweep my hand across the large table. Olivia's ordering and we're just holding down the fort. Conrad, you know Garrett don't you?”

He nods. “Hey, Garrett.”

Alex looks a little uncertain about joining us.

“Don't worry about Olivia,” I tell him. “She's like so over you.” Okay, that's an exaggeration on my part, but maybe it's necessary if everyone is going to just move on.

“I'll go order for us.” Alex nods to Conrad. “I'm sure you'd just like to sit down after that game.”

Thanks.” Conrad sits down adjacent from me.

“Sorry about the game,” I offer.

“You guys gave them a tough go,” says Garrett. “And I think that last foul call was all in the refs head.”

Conrad smiles now. “Yeah, you and me both.”

“And considering that McKinley will probably go to state, you guys should be proud that you made them work so hard to win tonight. Not every team can say that.”

“Yeah, but it would've been cool to win.”

I give his hand a squeeze. “I know.”

He smiles at me, and I think we're okay.

“So, Garrett, what's with the sunglasses at night?” asks Conrad.

“It's his new ‘cool dude’ look,” I say quickly. “Speaking of cool, let me tell you about Olivia's audition today.” Then I launch into a dramatic retelling of our afternoon. I point over to where she's still in line talking to Cameron. “We think Cameron is into her.” I nod to Garrett.

“Yeah, and we think it's making Jack McAllister jealous,” Garrett chimes in.

“Huh?” Conrad is clearly confused now.

I laugh. “Well, if Jack is gay, which is an unknown factor. But for whatever reason, he seems to really dislike Olivia.”

“So, is she really joining their band?” Conrad asks with a frown. “And aren't they a pretty gnarly bunch?”

“I don't know if she's joining or not,” I say lightly. “She and I have both been really praying about it. I mean, God does want us to reach out to others…and maybe this is Olivia's chance.” As I say this, I feel Garrett's gaze on me, and I can tell he's putting two and two together and assuming that he's my special project. So I look directly at him. “And I happen to like making new friends. Take Garrett—I never really knew him before chemistry. And now that I've gotten to know him, I think he's a cool guy.”

“Thanks,” he mutters.

“Seriously,” I continue. “Why are so many people afraid to get to know anyone outside of their little circle? I mean we're teenagers, and we're supposed to be risk-takers, right? So why do we hide inside our little comfort zones so much of the time?”

I nod back to where Olivia and Cameron are still talking. “I think it's very cool to see people knocking down walls and making new friends. Don't you guys think so too?”

“Sure,” says Conrad, and I can tell he's sincere.

“Yeah, I guess,” adds Garrett, as if he's actually coming around.

We kick this around some more, and finally Olivia comes back with Cameron in tow. “I'm in the band!” she announces happily as she hands us our soda cups.

“Congratulations!” I shake her hand. “You are one smart dude, Cameron. Olivia sounded great with you guys.”

He nods. “I know.”

“What about Jack?” asks Garrett.

Cameron kind of shrugs. “Hopefully he'll come around. Dirk and I think he was just having a bad day. He's not always like that.”

“I invited Cameron and Dirk to join us,” says Olivia. “Is there room?”

“If you pull in another chair.” Conrad scoots his chair closer to mine. “We can squeeze together.”

Before long, Alex rejoins us. And as I look around the table, I'm thinking it's really a mixed bag here. But it's pretty cool. I'm thinking that God is smiling on us. Garrett is by far the quietest in the group, but I'm hoping he doesn't feel like too much of a misfit. And it's a comfort that the guys are being pretty civilized to him. Would they have problems if they knew he was gay? Not that I know this for sure. But I just wonder.

I can tell that Conrad is tired, and I'm feeling pretty strung out myself. I nudge him and ask if he plans to go home soon.

“You need a ride?” His eyes look hopeful.

I glance at Olivia, who is actually the life of the party at the moment. Seriously, it's like, other than Conrad, she's got the attention of every guy at the table. Even Alex is
spellbound as she talks about the band and some songs she'd like them to try.

“Conrad and I are going to split,” I announce as we both stand. “Anyone else coming?”

Alex looks uncomfortable now.

“I've got my car,” says Olivia, not directly to Alex. “It's just Garrett and me if anyone wants to hitch a ride.”

“You kiddies go on home and get to bed,” teases Cameron. “The big people aren't ready to turn in just yet.”

So just like that, Conrad and I leave. It's still cold and damp outside, but the rain has let up. Conrad slips his arm around me and gives me a little squeeze as we walk across the parking lot. “So we're really okay?”

“Of course. But life's been crazy.”

“And you're not secretly in love with Garrett Pierson?”

I laugh. “Not even close. But I do want to be his friend, Conrad. Are you okay with that?”

“Totally. I agree with your new love one another’ plan.”

“Like it's my new plan,” I tease. “Remember the guy who originally introduced it?”

“Well, I like that you want to live like Jesus, Sam. That's very cool.”

He opens his car door for me.

“I haven't been in your funny mobile for a while,” I point out.

“My funny mobile?”

I chuckle as I climb in. “Well, not everyone has a bright orange 1976 Gremlin.”

“Guess I'm just lucky, eh?”

Or blessed.”

He leans in and kisses me. “Yeah,
blessedl”
Then he closes the door, and as he. walks around to the driver's side, I so want to tell him about my concerns for Garrett being suicidal and the whole Cody thing and why I've been a little distracted. I'd love to tell him exactly what's going on with me and
everything
… but I know that I can't. Maybe someday.

For now it still needs to remain a secret.

H
anging with Mom has never been a whole lot of fun. Okay, to be fair, it hasn't been much fun these past five years. Mom
used
to be fun. But losing Dad changed everything. Mostly Mom. Without Dad around, life got extremely serious.

But after a few years passed, things started to get a little better, Mom started to lighten up, and I felt slightly hopeful about our family. Then it all came undone again, thanks to the whole mess with Zach and drugs. That's also about the same time that Mom got a promotion and her job got stressful. Consequently, my mom has not been fun and she has not been herself—not in years.

So when I got up this morning and remembered this was our “special” day to go shopping, well, I wasn't exactly looking forward to it. Sure, it sounded like a good idea last week when we decided to do this. But as we're driving to Portland this morning, I start to replay some of our other shopping trip fiascos over the past several years—the fights we got into over clothing styles, high prices, designer labels, and whatever.

Anyway, as we enter Pioneer Square in downtown Portland, I am literally bracing myself—hoping and praying that
today won't turn into one of those bad scenes that will later haunt us both on the Memory Lane of Horrific Shopping Trips.

The funny thing is, other than a few silly squabbles, which we quickly resolve, we're actually having fun, Go figure. Our main goal is to change Mom's frumpy, dated image. So we do some shopping and then pop into one of those haircut places where you don't need an appointment, and Mom gets her hair cut in this trendy layered style. And right now she's getting some highlights—like a real mini makeover!

I get my hair trimmed too, but because of the highlights, her appointment is taking longer. So I decide to go out in the mall and use this extra time to catch up with Olivia on my cell phone. I want to hear all about last night.

“So what happened after we left?” I ask. “You were like the belle of the ball.”

She laughs. “It was so great, Sam. I wish you'd stayed. Although I can understand how you and Conrad needed some alone time.”

“Come on, tell me what happened?”

“Well, I guess Cameron sort of does have a crush on me. And while that's really flattering, I made it perfectly clear to him that I don't really want to go out with him. For one thing, I don't think it'd be good for the band. But I also told him that, as a Christian, I've made a commitment not to date guys who aren't.”

“You really told him that?”

“Sure. And he was cool with it.”

“And?”

“And what?”

“What about Alex? I mean, I'm surprised that he continued to hang with you guys.”

“You and Conrad didn't give him much choice.”

“He could've left with us. He clearly wanted to stay. I saw him looking at you. When we were leaving, he had this slightly dazed expression going on.”