Beyond Revenge (The Ransom Series) (21 page)

“Leo?”

Morgan’s pained voice hits me like a
freight train.  I immediately feel around the nightstand for the switch to the
lamp and click it on.  When it illuminates Morgan’s body on the bed, I look her
up and down as if she may be hurt or in trouble
.

“What’s wrong?” I ask frantically.

“It hurts,” she responds in a tiny
voice.  “I’ve been trying to be strong, but it hurts so much.”

My heart drops out of my chest.  “Have
you slept at all?”

She shakes her head.  “I’m trying to be
strong.  I need to be strong.”

“Morgan…”

Her face contorts into a grimace, and
as she squints her eyes closed, tears streak down both sides of her cheeks.

My mind goes into a panic.  “Jack!” I
call toward the closed door.  “Jack, we need you!”

I know I shouldn’t be yelling like this
and waking up the entire house in alarm, but I don’t want to let go of Morgan’s
hand.  I won’t leave her
, even for a moment
.

It takes only seconds for Jack to appear
at the door, still dressed from the night before but with a frazzled head of
gray hair.
 
He takes a seat in the chair next to the
bed.  “What is it, Morgan?”

She lets out a deep sigh, or a pent-up
breath, I can’t tell which.  “The contractions.  They
’re so painful
.  I think it’s progressing.”

Cindy barges into the room in a
nightgown.  “What’s going on?  Is it almost time?”
 
Robert
enters in a T-shirt and shorts not far behind her.  They look about as scared
as I feel.

“Let’s all calm down a second,” Jack insists. 
He observes the monitor silently
as
the
bottom line
reaches
the largest peak I’ve seen since Jack hooked up the device to the
sensors on Morgan’s belly.

At that same moment, Morgan shuts her
eyes and grinds her teeth together.  She whimpers slightly, causing my grip on
her hand to tighten.

“You’re okay,” I whisper to her.  “I’m
right here with you.”

I look back and forth between Morgan’s
face
and the monitor
.  The line on the monitor descends
back down, and Morgan’s expression starts to normalize, though she’s
still
breathing heavily.

Jack puts his full attention back on
Morgan.  “I’m going to check you again.”

He tries to turn around toward Robert
and Cindy, but Morgan catches his arm.  “It’s okay.  Let them stay,” she says
breathlessly.

Jack responds with a
shrug and slight
smile
.  “You’re in charge.”

He stands up to offer his chair to
Cindy, who immediately sits down next to Morgan and grabs and kisses her hand. 
Robert moves behind her
near the headboard
as Jack
sits down at the end of the bed.

Morgan looks straight up at the ceiling
while Jack does what he needs to, and though only a couple minutes have passed,
it feels like an eternity before he speaks again.

“You’re almost there.  It’ll be time to
push soon.”

Morgan gives a strained nod.  She’s in
the middle of another contraction.

“Is there
anything
you can give her?” I ask desperately.

“No!
  I can do this,
” Morgan
exclaims
before Jack can even address
my question.  She’s
back down
from the pain, but she’s wearing out.  I can see the
exhaustion in her
face and in the
sweat beading on her forehead.

“What can I do, Jack?” I plead with
him.

“You’re already doing it.”  He nods
down to my hand entwined with Morgan’s.

The next thirty minutes are
excruciating.  Morgan’s cries fill the room and echo
throughout the
house
.  Her cheeks are stained with tears.  Her hair is
wild
and
soaked with sweat.  She can hardly talk through the pain
anymore, and I just sit by her side
,
completely
helpless.  My own thoughts consume me, knowing that I caused this, that I put
her in this pain.  I’ve heard her screams and cries before, but those
hardly
compare to
this.  She’s going through some horrible form of
Mother Nature’s torture, and there is absolutely nothing I can do to stop it.

By the time Jack says she’s ready to
push, I feel completely numb.  When he tells me and Cindy to hold her legs, my
hands somehow manage to comply.  We try to say encouraging words
as she
pushes during the contractions
, but Morgan isn’t listening. 
She’s in her own world, pressing beyond the pain, nothing but determination and
fortitude beneath the grimaces she makes.  She has us all here, but she’s
completely alone in this, bearing all this pain on her own.

I watch with amazement as she begins to
overcome it.  I can see it in her eyes, the moment when all the grief and
frustration and difficulty she has endured come together as one force with one
purpose.  She seems to filter all her being into these final pushes.

When I hear Morgan’s victorious
maternal cry, I know she
’
s done it even before I see
the baby emerge and
the
blood spill out of her.  My
heart is instantly in my throat and my breath is stolen from my lungs the
moment I see our child, completely messy and covered in blood but also the most
beautiful thing I have ever seen.  The baby’s cries fill the room amidst the
sounds of Morgan weeping,
her
tears of joy and relief
coating her reddened but smiling cheeks.

“You have a son,” Jack
says
as he wraps the crying baby in a blanket.

A son.

We
have a son.

I don’t even notice that I’m crying or
unresponsive until Jack nudges me with his shoulder.  “You get to do the
honors.
”  He nods at some supplies on the small table.
 
“
Attach the plastic clamp to the umbilical cord just
above his belly button and attach the
surgical
clamp a
little further down, then you get to cut in between.”

My hands shake as my body responds to
fulfill Jack’s requests.  With one final snip, my son is completely separated
from his mother’s body.

I step back as Jack walks the baby
around the bed, leaning down to carefully deposit him in Morgan’s arms.  She
smiles brightly through her tears looking down at the tiny bundle in her
embrace, and then she looks at me.  Our eyes connect, and in that instant I
know she’s telling me we’re okay, that
despite
everything
we’ve been through and all we have yet to endure
, it’s all
completely worth it.  In that one look she takes away all my worry
and pain.  All the guilt and anger is gone.  The outlook for us is brilliant
and full of love and family and all the things that life should be.

“Come meet your son,” she says quietly,
and my life suddenly feels complete.

His Perfection

∞

This tiny creature

borne of love and
commitment,

forever
life-changing and mind-altering.

A blessing.

A miracle.

Everything I never
knew I wanted.

The missing piece,

my utter
perfection,

the fuel to send
me forward.

He is everything
to me.

Just like his
father.

∞

Ten tiny fingers.  Ten tiny toes.

I keep counting them, and the number
stays the same.

I keep running the back of my hand over
the soft fuzz of dark hair on his head, and when I’m done, he’s still in my
arms.  He’s actually real.

Perfection.  This child is absolute
perfection.

Warmth fills my heart every time I look
at him.  I’m overwhelmed with the love I have for my son and for his father. 
Leo and I created life together.  We started a family.  We just took the first
step toward the rest of our lives, our new beginning, and it’s going to be
wonderful.

I’ve never seen Leo so completely
happy.  When he held his son for the first time, I saw the pride beaming on his
face.  He thought he was forever trapped in darkness, but this child has
brought out the light in him even more than I’ve ever been able to.  He never
thought he’d have this, but now it’s his.  This is our life and family to share
together.

It’s true perfection.

The room is quiet as we all watch this
little boy sleep in my arms.  I know Jack needs to take him–he’s asked twice
already–but I’m not ready to let
go of
him just yet.

“So, he’ll need a name,” Mom prods, and
I can’t help smiling at her impatience.

I turn to Leo sitting on the bed next
to me.  He nods.  We’re in silent agreement.

“Dante Leonardo Marini, after Leo’s
father.”

Mom’s hands fly to her mouth.  She
looks about ready to cry again.  Dad gives an approving nod and smile.

Jack stops what he’s doing and looks at
Leo thoughtfully.  “Your father was a good man.  Your son will bear his name
well.”

With Dante cradled carefully in
my
arm, I reach beside me with
my other arm
and grasp Leo’s hand.  I know this whole experience has been emotional
for him.  I can see on his face that actually hearing the words out loud that
his father’s memory will live on in the name of our son is affecting him more
than he wants it to, but I also know he’s thrilled about it.  When I suggested
the name weeks ago, he was hesitant at first then completely fell in love with
the idea.

Leo leans toward me, tipping his head
to mine as he runs his fingers gently over Dante’s cheek.  “I wish he could be
here to meet the newest member of the Marini family
.”  I can hear the
hint of pain in his voice, and I automatically
squeeze his
hand a little tighter.

We’re all quiet a moment before Jack breaks the silence. 
“
I don’t want to interrupt,
but I
should get little Dante cleaned up and checked out.  Would the grandparents
like to give me a hand?”

I
nod reluctantly before
kiss
ing
Dante on the forehead
and
carefully handing him off to Jack.  I watch him take my baby out
of the room to the nursery, my parents following closely behind him.

Leo and I have the room to ourselves, our
one little moment of privacy together since the chaos of the final stages of childbirth
began, and I want to take advantage of it.  I want to show Leo just how much he
is loved and cared for.  I want him to know that he has all of me and that I’m always
going to be
here for him.  I want him to embrace this
new life we have and forget about the past.

When I turn to Leo, my hand is
instantly on his cheek, transferring my warmth to his skin and feeling every
bit of him while my fingers work into his dark hair.  I contemplate his lips
briefly before actually placing mine on them.  The kiss starts out shy and
hesitant, reminiscent of how I was around Leo when we first met back at the
prison.  The kiss progresses and deepens with the speed and power of the
passion we shared the first time we kissed, driven by lust and the needs and
desires of our bodies.  The kiss then slows down as I learn his lips all over
again, giving care and love to each part of them, truly feeling him and tasting
him as I remember the part of our journey when we got to know each other
better, when lust gave way to actual love.

I pull away from him, gasping for
breath.  Our foreheads touch and we remain there, coming down from the height
of the moment.

“I love you,” I whisper.  I steal one last
kiss from his lips.

“I love you, Morgan.”  He nuzzles
against
me even more
.  “I’m so proud of you.  You did amazing.”

“We did amazing.  He’s perfect.”

Leo
pulls back as his face
falters slightly.  He tries to divert his gaze, but my
hand
immediately encourage
s it
back to m
e
.
 
“Don’t do that, Leo.  Don’t even think
it.  He’s your son.”

His eyes are filled with concern and doubt. 
“What if he isn’t?”

I harden my expression with all the resolve I feel inside
to support what I’m about to say. 
“
He’s yours. 
I’ve never been more confident about anything in my life.”

He’s quiet for a long moment.  I know
he wants to believe me, but I don’t seem to be getting through to him.

“We’ll do a paternity test,” I offer,
“but I want you to know that regardless of the result, you’re always going to
be
Dante’s
father.  There is no question in my mind
about that.”

He smiles at me, some of the tension
working its way out of his face
as he nods
.  “I’ll
always be his father.  I’ll never let him go.”

My expression relaxes into a teasing grin. 
“Good.  I’m never letting you go, either
.
”

He lets out a hint of a laugh and
shakes his head at me before pulling me into a hug.  He starts to embrace me
tighter and then freezes and pulls away.  “Are you okay?  Jesus, I’m here squeezing
you
like crazy
and you’ve just been through hell.”

I grin at him, trying to calm his worry. 
“Relax.  I’m fine.  Sore, but fine.”

Leo wraps his arm around my back and
holds me gently.  “I felt so fucking helpless.  I don’t know if I could watch
you go through that again.”

I reflect on the last few hours for a
moment.  “I won’t lie.  That was the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced
in my life.”

“But you made it through.  You were
perfect.”

Leo kisses the side of my head just as
the procession of visitors and our new housemate reenter the room.

“Six pounds, eight ounces.  Nineteen
inches,” Jack announces as he brings Dante back to me.  He’s practically
swimming in the yellow blanket he’s wrapped in.  He’s got a long-sleeved white
shirt on that’s much too big for his tiny body.  The top of his newborn diaper
is folded under to avoid hitting the clamped stump of the umbilical cord
sticking out from his belly button.

“Hi, Dante,” I say softly to him.

His eyes open at the sound of my voice,
and I know he recognizes me.  He
’s completely aware
that
he’s in the warmth and comfort of his mother’s embrace.

I’m rendered speechless by the
beautiful dark irises staring up at me.  I
swear I
can
see the hint of blue
in
there.  He’s going to have his
father’s eyes.  I look to Leo and we’re both just beaming smiles.

Dante starts moving around, his arms
reaching out and his legs kicking slightly as he
nuzzle
s
his head toward me.

“Someone’s hungry,” Mom teases from the
corner of the room with a smile on her face, though she still seems to be in a
constant state of dabbing her eyes with a tissue.

I look down at the anxious baby within
my arms and know what I need to do, though I’m a little unsure how to approach
it.  When I pull up my shirt and cradle the child to my breast, though,
instincts kick in for both of us.  It takes only a moment for him to latch on,
tugging gently at my nipple with his tiny mouth.

I catch Leo’s gaze as he’s watching his
son and the beauty of this moment with admiration, and I can’t help teas
ing
him
. 
“Don’t be jealous,” I warn
with a smile.

Leo’s face immediately reddens as
laughter fills the room.  He looks at me like I’m crazy, but I can only laugh
with the rest of them.

Hours pass as we observe in awe our new
family member who seemed to appear out of nowhere this morning.  Dante drifts
in and out of sleep as we all take turns holding him.  Lullabies are
whispered.  Pictures are taken.  Love is showered over this tiny baby who has
already brought so much joy to our lives despite how little time he has spent
outside of my belly.

It’s early evening, and when Jack and
my parents retire to bed
,
it’s just me, Leo, and Dante
left in our bedroom, our first true time together as a family.  Leo and I sit
in bed, his body snuggled up against mine.  He runs his fingers gingerly over
Dante’s tiny head until the baby pulls away from my breast and falls back
asleep.

I can feel my own eyelids getting heavy
as I watch his peaceful slumber.  He has warmth and comfort in my arms
,
and I share those feelings in how Leo is pressed up against me.

“You should get some rest,” Leo
suggests with a smirk.

I’m too exhausted to even think about
playing into his joke.  “I won’t fight you this time.”

Leo readjusts on the bed and carefully
pulls the sleeping bundle of baby from my arms into his.  I push through the
discomfort of moving my lower body and slide myself down the headboard until my
head hits the pillow.

It’s the most amazing feeling to lie
here and watch Leo cradle his son in his arms, walking around the room with a
warm smile on his face, in a state of pure bliss unlike I have ever seen him.

When he passes close to the bed, his
hand slips into mine and gives a tight squeeze.  “Get some sleep.  We’ll be
just fine.”

I manage a small nod and a smile before
my eyes can’t stay open a moment longer.

Leo starts his unhurried rounds
throughout the room, whispering softly to his son within his embrace, making me
fall in love with them both even more.