Beyond Tantra: Healing Through Taoist Sacred Sex (3 page)

Mieke really didn’t like what she was being told by the gynaecologist. She was adamant that she did not want to have an operation if there was any way that it

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Beyond Tantra – Healing Through Taoist Sacred Sex could be avoided. She also had a feeling that she wasn’t being given the whole picture. Over the twenty-plus years I had known her, I had learned that she would only say something about her inner feelings if she sensed something strongly. In this case it was very clear that she felt at a very deep level that the course of action suggested by the gynaecologist was not right for her.

Up until this time Mieke had always been very healthy and strong and never had any health problem like this. She had effortlessly borne four children and worked very hard and succeeded at being ‘The World’s Best Mum’. At the same time, she had always worked in quite stressful jobs and seemed to handle all of it with ease. So I was extremely worried and concerned about her. Something clearly had to be done and yet she did not want to go down the path being prescribed to her by Western medicine. I was in a quandary.

Now, as a person I’ve got a number of qualities and traits. Some of them are no doubt rather annoying at times, like my tendency to ask awkward questions.

But one of my traits that can sometimes be quite useful is that, when I need to be, I can be very, very stubborn. I was not going to let the woman I loved suffer if I could do something about it. So I did the one thing I knew how to do: research. I read non-stop, for fourteen hours a day over the next two weeks, everything I could find on the Internet that had anything to do with menstrual problems, menopause, excessive bleeding, hormones or reproductive health.

What I discovered, after reading a great deal on medical web sites, was that at least 75% of the women suffering from excessive menstrual bleeding should not, in the first instance, be operated on. According to what I read, excessive menstrual bleeding is most often not a mechanical problem, i.e. something physically wrong with the body, but rather has to do with the body’s hormonal balance. If a woman’s hormonal balance is disrupted, her menstrual cycle is often the first thing that starts to behave abnormally. Mieke also had many other symptoms, such as hot flushes, that indicated that she was indeed being affected by hormonal changes.

So I continued to read about the symptoms she was displaying and tried to discover whether they were a result of something physically wrong in the uterus that would warrant an operation. I soon found an article which suggested that an ultra-sound scan would be a wise thing to have done before having an operation, to see if there was any thickening of the uterine lining or if there were any growths in the womb. The article also suggested that, if one is not happy with a diagnosis one has received, it is a good idea to get a second opinion before deciding anything at all. As I continued to search, I also came across an intriguing site from a Dr. John Lee who advocated using something called ‘natural progesterone’. According to him, this is a substance available from a wide variety of plant sources that, when extracted and applied as a skin cream, can be very

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helpful in restoring a natural hormonal balance. The cream is applied over a 28-day cycle and assists the body’s hormonal release function. At this point I realized that I was in over my head. There were clearly options other than surgery but I had no idea which of them was the correct course to follow. I suggested to Mieke that we go back to the first doctor and tell her that we were not happy with what we had been told by the gynaecologist and that we should ask her if she could recommend anyone else. We did this the very next day. The doctor, somewhat to my surprise, was very sympathetic and referred us to a gynaecologist in the closest city, an hour’s drive away. Luckily, we managed to get an appointment for the following week.

In the meantime, intrigued by what I had read about natural progesterone, I started to look into other natural, i.e. non-conventional, healing methods. It was then that I remembered that we already had a book about women and healing called
Healing Love through the Tao: Cultivating Female Sexual Energy
by Mantak Chia. It was one of three books I had bought before I did the Tantra course. I opened it up with new eyes. At this point I was no longer interested in the sex part of the book; now I wanted to know about healing. On the very first page he explains that the major way in which women lose energy is through menstruation. The book then provides detailed instructions on how to stop this loss of energy, using a combination of different exercises and techniques. I was amazed at what I was reading. At the same time, the sceptic in me instantly said, ‘what if this is just a bunch of nonsense?’

So I decided to do yet more research. Was there any evidence available to show that this ancient Chinese (also known as Taoist) knowledge was anything more than old superstitions from a primitive culture? I spent yet more days reading everything I could about Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM). This time I was overwhelmed by the quantity and quality of information that I found. I read that Acupuncture and Chinese Herbal Medicine had been used successfully not only by traditional healers, but had also been clinically tested and proven in Western universities. As far as I could tell, it appeared that Western medicine was also slowly but surely verifying that the Taoist view of the body and health (although not always making sense in accordance with the familiar, Western way) does indeed have an internal logic and consistency. A good deal of clinical evidence is now available to indicate that TCM cures work reliably in many cases.

As a result, many health insurers in the West now cover acupuncture treatment.

The time arrived for our appointment with the second gynaecologist. He was obviously a busy man, as the waiting room was full of women, but luckily we were the first appointment of the day. We entered his office and explained to him why we were there and our concerns about the recommendation we had received

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Beyond Tantra – Healing Through Taoist Sacred Sex from the first gynaecologist. I also told him what I had read about the possible hormonal causes of Mieke’s condition as well as the recommendation that she should have a scan before going any further. He listened quietly and then said, much to my amazement:

‘Firstly, I’d like to apologise for the state of the healthcare here in Ireland. We are woefully under-funded and, indeed, in some areas I feel like we are still providing a level of care that is of third-world quality. You’re correct; there are other things that should be looked at first before operating and it is indeed quite likely that Mieke’s condition has its origin in a hormonal disturbance.’

He went on:

‘I’d like to arrange for an ultra-sound scan to ensure that there is nothing untoward in Mieke’s uterus. I would also like to prescribe a drug that she can take to help with her heavy bleeding, as she is clearly anaemic. I would also encourage her to take extra iron as the previous gynaecologist suggested. Also, I can see no harm at all in your trying the natural progesterone. I have a number of patients who have shown intolerance to the synthetic hormones we normally use in cases of hormonal imbalance and I’d be interested to know how you get on.’

We were completely amazed at his compassion, understanding and honesty.

We felt like we, at last, had someone who was listening to us. I also felt that my research had been validated and this gave a real boost to my self-confidence and belief that I could help Mieke heal. With hindsight, I can clearly see that this doctor’s willingness to be honest and straightforward with us was a real turning point and I am, to this day, very grateful to him. We left for home after thanking him very much.

Mieke went for an ultra-scan a few days later and we were relieved to hear the technician say, ‘it looks fine to me’ as he watched the display on the ultra-sound machine. On the way home, we bought some natural progesterone at the local chemist at the same time as collecting her prescription for the anti-bleeding drug. Mieke started a heavy period a few days later and we were delighted to discover that the drug which the gynaecologist had prescribed slowed her blood-flow dramatically. It looked like we had something to help with her worst symptom, at least.

During the following weeks, I continued to read the Mantak Chia book.

Towards the end of the book there is a section on ‘Traditional Lovemaking Positions and Healing’. This caught my attention and I read some of this aloud to Mieke. I asked her whether she thought that we should try some of the exercises from the book. She stopped what she was doing and looked straight at me as if I were totally crazy. With tears in her eyes she said:

‘Here I am, with three-week-long heavy periods; I’m anaemic; on medication

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and
I have absolutely no sexual energy at all and you want to do
what
?’

She paused for a few seconds and looked away. I felt rather foolish and regret-ted having said anything. What had I been thinking? Then suddenly, to my utter amazement, she looked up and said:

‘OK – I think we should try it.’

I told you that she is an amazing woman!

So for the next six months we worked hard to follow not only the instructions in the Mantak Chia book but also some of the Tantra exercises in the Margo Anand book. At the same time, we followed the suggested rhythm for using the natural progesterone (three weeks on and one week off ) and Mieke used the anti-bleeding drug when her flow got too heavy. She also started on extra iron and vitamin supplements. For many months it seemed like there was little or no improvement but at least Mieke’s health wasn’t getting any worse and the bleeding was under control.

One evening I was dutifully ‘warming up the oven’ (the Taoists have all sorts of expressions for different sexual activities, I soon discovered) by gently teasing Mieke’s clitoris with my tongue. We had settled down into a routine of fifteen minutes’ practice morning and evening and two longer, evening sessions –which could last up to four hours – every week. To be honest, not a lot was happening as result. Mieke was still having long, heavy periods and there was very little sexual energy happening between us. Still, we kept at it. Mieke is stubborn too!