Beyond the Sea (28 page)

“
What about them?” Troy asked.

“
I don’t know, everything. I know you don’t want to, but…please?”

Troy sighed. “It’s not like it’s
secret
, it’s just…embarrassing, I guess.”

“
Why?” Brian asked quietly, drawing lazy circles in the water with his hand.

“
It’s super lame. I only write little bits and pieces. Scraps of stories.”

“
What kinds?”

“
I don’t know. Different things.”

“
Well, I like different things.”

A wisp of a cloud drifted above, and Troy watched its progress. “One is about a kid living in a small town, and he tries to fix an old windmill. The windmill’s a metaphor for his fucked-up family.” Troy’s cheeks went hot. “Just stupid stuff.”

“
It’s not stupid. At all. I’d listen to it. I love it when you sing.”

Troy smiled at the rush of pleasure. “Thank you. I have some in my head—lyrics, I mean. But they don’t sound right when I say them out loud. Need to write them down first. Make sense of them.”

“
You could write them in the sand.”

For some reason, the thought left Troy with a bittersweet pang of sadness. “It’s not the same. They’d be blown away. Scattered. I’ll write them when we get back.” It helped to speak of when, not if. “While I guzzle Coke and eat Doritos. And mmm, pizza.”

“
You know what else I could go for? Ice. Have I mentioned that I’d sign away my first born for a cold beer?”

Troy laughed. “Once or twice, dude. Oh man, can you imagine how good ice cream would taste right now? Haagen-Daz cookie dough. Or mint chocolate.”

“
Pralines and cream. Followed by beer.”

They rattled off the food they were craving the most that day. Troy could feel Brian’s eyes on him, and concentrated on the water as he spread his toes wide, flexing his feet, before relaxing them with a little splash.

“
I’d like to hear one of your songs one day.”

Troy wasn’t sure why it made him so uncomfortable. “But it’s not the right kind of music.”

“
Why not?”

“
We obviously do pop in the band. Dancey, bubble-gum stuff. Fun stuff. It’s not like I can suddenly become a folky songwriter strumming on a guitar.”

“
Why not?” Brian repeated.

Troy huffed a little. “I just can’t. I barely know how to play the guitar anymore.”

“
Couldn’t you learn?”

“
Well, I could, but…” He squirmed, paddling with his hands. “Even if I did, it wouldn’t sell. No one would want my music.”

“
That’s why you’re so afraid to write it?”

“
Folk doesn’t sell.” Troy echoed his father’s words.

“
So?” Brian quirked a smile. “I’m playing devil’s advocate. You’ve got millions, right? What does it matter if it sells?”

“
Of course it matters. It has to be a hit.”

“
Says who? Your dad?” Brian reached over and smoothed his hand down Troy’s arm, leaving goosebumps behind.

“
Well…yeah.” He shook his head. “Stupid, huh? I’m a grown-ass man, and my dad’s dead, and I’m still trying to please him. Why am I doing that?”

“
Because you’re fucked up.”

Laughter burst out of Troy. “Is that your diagnosis, Dr. Sinclair?”

“
Yep.” Brian laughed too. “Island therapy complete. You’re fucked up. I’m fucked up. We’re all fucked up.”

Smiling, Troy tasted salt as he brushed back his hair. “But would people really want to hear my music?”

“
I would.”

Troy rolled his eyes. “Of course you would. You’re my—” The unfinished thought hung there with the delicate wisps of cloud in the unending blue sky, and his heart thumped. “Friend,” he finished lamely.

What else would he be? From the corner of his eye, he could see Brian turn his head to watch him intently.

“
We’d better get out before we burn.” Troy paddled in, and Brian followed.

They splashed their way out of the water, the fine sand sticking. While Brian took his turn with the signaling mirror, Troy cut up a fresh papaya to share. Juice dripped down Brian’s chin, and Troy swiped his tongue over it and then into Brian’s mouth. While they shared sweet kisses in the shade, sea water evaporated on their skin, the day growing hotter with each passing minute.

Troy reminded himself that they weren’t going to overthink it. They’d agreed, and there was no reason to analyze it. So what if they had fun together trapped here? None of it
meant
anything. Still, the unvoiced word whispered in Troy’s mind, low and insistent.

Boyfriend.

“
Mmm. Yeah, right there.”

Troy dug his elbow into the knot under Brian’s shoulder blade. “Harder?”

In a breathy, porny voice, Brian begged, “Give me all you’ve got.”

Laughing, Troy swatted Brian’s arm. Brian was face down on a blanket by the campfire, Troy straddling his ass. The cotton of their boxers teased Troy’s cock. “Oh, I’ll give it to you, baby.”

Brian’s low laughter settled over Troy like honey. “Come on, big—” He broke off as the sky suddenly unleashed a torrent of rain.

It must have been later than Troy thought, or the rain was early. He supposed it didn’t matter as they scurried to uncap water bottles and unzip the suitcase. Then he kicked off his boxers and enjoyed the shower, the rain cool and refreshing. Brian followed suit, and they spread their arms to the sky, the smoke from the doused fire pungent.

It was still raining when they crawled inside the teepee and into each other’s arms under the gauzy net. Troy loved the feel of their slick skin sliding together, and he straddled Brian’s hips to lean over and rub his cheek against the wet fur on Brian’s chest. Brian squeezed and stroked Troy’s body.

Then his fingers dipped into the crease of Troy’s ass, and Troy groaned. He pushed his knees farther apart, eager for Brian’s touch on his hole. He’d been thinking about it since they’d blown each other the day before, wondering what it would feel like to have Brian’s whole finger—or more—inside him. He’d played with his ass sometimes when he jerked off, and some of his girlfriends had done what Brian did during blow jobs, but never anything deeper than a fingertip.

Now Troy wanted more. He didn’t care if it was crossing some line that made him gay, because what did it matter? He was clearly bi, at least. He’d sucked another man’s dick, and he’d liked it. More than liked it, and he wasn’t ashamed. This was their little world, and he wanted to feel good. Wanted to make Brian feel good. He’d never craved anything the way he wanted Brian with such a consuming, primal pull.

As Brian’s finger found his hole, circling it, Troy’s breath hitched. The rain still poured outside in a steady rush, and soon the moat around their teepee would overflow, but he only cared about one thing. Lifting his head, he put his lips to Brian’s ear.

“
Will you fuck me?”

He felt Brian shudder against him, his finger pressing at Troy’s hole.

Troy whispered, “I want to know what it feels like. I want…all of it. All of you.” Holding his breath, he lifted his head and met Brian’s eyes, barely visible in the gloom. Brian’s finger was still on his ass, but he didn’t say anything, and Troy’s heart skipped.

Did I cross the line? Is this too gay? Am I a freak?

With his other hand, Brian reached up to cup Troy’s face, his gaze intense. “You want my cock?”

Exhaling in a rush of relief, Troy nodded vigorously. “I want it. Want you to fuck me. Come inside me.” He hesitated. “I’m negative. Are you?” He frankly didn’t really care. They could be on this island for years. Forever. He needed this.

“
I am. God, I want you.”

They kissed, a mash of lips and teeth, and Troy rolled his hips, his dick almost painfully stiff against Brian’s. He rubbed against it, feeling Brian’s length and thickness. He wasn’t sure it would fit, but the thought of it inside him opened a well of longing, his balls tightening.

“
Please, Brian. Give it to me.”

Brian’s chest rose and fell rapidly, and he ran his thumb over Troy’s mouth. “Don’t want to hurt you. You ever been fucked? With a toy, maybe?”

Nerves singing, fire swept over Troy’s skin. He shook his head. He’d never been pegged or anything, but holy shit, did he want to be fucked now. “Do it.” He attacked Brian’s mouth, biting at his lip. “Fuck me.”

“
We don’t have anything to—” Brian gasped softly. “Wait.” Urging Troy off him, he pushed up the net and crawled to his toiletry bag. On his side, Troy watched Brian’s pale ass, wondering what it would be like to bury his cock there. He had to grip the base of his dick, squeezing mercilessly until he had control.

Brian returned with a little glass bottle. “Hair oil. Almost forgot I had it.”

“
Good thing I didn’t use it before.” Troy smiled, butterflies flapping in his belly as they looked at the bottle and then each other. “So how…”

“
I did it sometimes with the ex. Knees and elbows. But you’re going to be really tight. How about…” With gentle hands, Brian rolled Troy onto his other side, lifting his top leg and bending his knee. “This good to start?”

“
Uh-huh.” His ass did feel more exposed, and he breathed shallowly through his mouth as he waited. “It’s good.”

When Brian pressed a slick finger to his hole, Troy tensed. He felt the soft caress of Brian’s lips on the back of his neck, then the puff of his whisper. “Relax. Let me in.”

The emergency blanket crinkled under his hip as Troy shifted and forced a deep breath. “Okay,” he murmured.

Brian kissed the shell of Troy’s ear before sucking the side of his neck as he toyed with his ass, pushing in, then retreating, stretching him bit by bit. When Brian’s whole index finger was inside, Troy felt almost unbearably full. There was no way.

But the pain faded, and when Brian withdrew fully, Troy couldn’t stop a whine low in his throat.

Brian kissed his ear again with a soft chuckle. “You’re doing so good.”

Troy preened at the praise, lifting his leg higher and bringing his knee toward his chest. “More.”

“
You’re dying for it, hmm? Greedy for my cock?”

“
Fuck yes.” They hadn’t talked much during sex before, but now they couldn’t seem to shut up. “Give it to me. All of it.”

“
Two fingers first.” Brian pushed them past the ring of muscle.

Gasping at the intrusion, Troy seized up. “Fuck,” he muttered.

“
You’re so tight. Jesus.” Brian’s hot breath fanned over Troy’s neck.

“
I can take it.” He concentrated on his breathing, the burning lessening inch by inch as Brian stretched him. When Brian bent his fingers, Troy just about shot up straight through the mosquito net. “Oh sweet fucking Christ. There. That’s…oh fuck.” His cock had softened as Brian stretched his ass, and now it throbbed back to life.

“
Must be the prostate,” Brian murmured, brushing it again.

“
Oh my God, don’t ever stop.”

They both laughed, but soon Troy was moaning, his eyes closed as Brian fucked him with his fingers. “Love the way you sound,” Brian muttered. “So hot. Ready for me?”

Troy didn’t hesitate, pushing back. “Yes. Now.” His nipples tingled and his dick ached, and he was
so ready.

Until Brian shoved the slick head of his cock inside, and Troy thought he might split in two. It was so hot, like an iron poker. He couldn’t even grunt. Sweat broke out over his rain-slick skin.

Brian ran his hand down Troy’s arm, murmuring as he threaded their fingers together. “Breathe. You’re okay. Tell me if you want to stop.”

It was incredibly tempting to shout,
“Yes, stop and never come near my ass again with that thing!”
But Troy worked on his breathing, and the burning began to fade. He squeezed Brian’s fingers. “Keep going.”

“
Let me in.” Groaning, Brian thrust. He let go of Troy’s hand and pulled open his ass cheek.

Troy had never felt so exposed during sex, but Brian was there, and everything was okay. Everything was
amazing
. Moans grated his throat, gasps flowing off his tongue. “Keep going,” he repeated.