Biker Born: The Lost Souls MC Series (The Lost Souls Series Book 4) (19 page)

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

MARK

A leader is someone who is strong to lead the masses. I don’t feel strong, I feel broken. But I still feel like I should give everyone an explanation.

Sliding my hands under Alannah as carefully as I can not to wake her, I cradle her to my chest and take her into the kitchen.

“Can you put her in her crib, I need to go out for a while,” I ask, passing Alannah over to Flo.

“Sure I can, it’s good that you’re getting out the house,” she smiles brightly.

Kissing Alannah on her small, soft head I walk out of the kitchen. The walk from the house and through the bar to the backroom almost feels foreign. Almost like I am walking this path I have walked many times a different man.

I sit at the head of the table and wait for the prospect to close the door, shutting us in the room.

“First of all, I want to apologize for not being around lately…”

“Don’t worry about it, boss,” Big Ron cuts in.

“But I do, I started this club for us, to keep us together and safe. I thought we had it all, life was going so good. We were making good money and our families within the club were growing. I haven’t been myself lately and if you bear with me, I’ll be back. I don’t know when but I will be.”

“Take all the time you need,” Micky says.

“Thanks, now more than ever we stay tight and it is vital that this club remains strong.” I take a deep breath before carrying on, “With Rayna gone, my daughter is my sole priority and her safety outweighs everything at the moment. I need to know she is protected at all times, I can’t let anything happen to her too.”

“No one who isn’t us is getting near her, Mark,” Micky promises me.

It’s on the tip of my tongue to say, he promised to look out for Rayna but I keep my mouth shut and look around the table. At this point I’m more afraid of natural accidents. These men staring back at me are here for me and my daughter. They’re here because I gave them a home and a family and family is there for one another. 

“I’m going to be making some changes around here. Firstly, in the future, while we’re on runs at least two patched in members will stay back with the women and Alannah. You’re old ladies are more than welcome to stay here and children too. Secondly, I know many of you have disagreed with the way I ran things regarding the Raging Riders, only striking back after they attacked first. Now, it’s open fucking season on the cunts. You see one riding too close to town, take them out. One attacks in public, attack back and I pray it never happens but you see one near here, you bring him to me and we set an almighty fucking example.”

Shock rounds the table and for the first time in days, I see Michael smile.

“Why the change, Mark?” Oak is the only one to ask.

“Like I said, there are going to be some changes. I’ve always tried to keep the violence to a minimum but it only makes us look weak. I want us to be strong inside in the club and to the outside. Any threat will be eliminated.”

“It’s about fuckin’ time,” Michael cheers.

I bring the gavel down hard and leave.

Alannah and my club are my life and there isn’t anything that can come between us anymore. I won’t let it.

I wait at the bar until Michael leaves the back room and stop him from leaving when he goes to pass me.

“I have something for you,” I tell him, getting his full attention.

“What’s that?”

I reach over the bar and grab a piece of paper and a pen. I scribble down the information I know Michael has been waiting years for and hand it to him.

“Who lives here?”

“The guy who killed our parents.”

His whole demeanour changes and he shifts us away from prying ears.

“Why are you giving me this now?”

“It’s what you’ve always wanted, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but, why now?” he asks again.

“I’m not exactly feeling very forgiving right now, I’ve never kept it from you cause I didn’t want him to suffer. You were right, anyone who gets in our way should be taken out. Starting with the scum who killed our parents.”

“Then let’s go.”

“We’ve been sitting here for three hours, brother. I don’t think anyone is in the house with him. We would have seen them.”

The fucker hasn’t moved from his arm chair in an hour, and before that he only moved to restock his six pack from the fridge.

“Let’s go already,” Michael whines.

I open the truck door and Michael follows. Side by side, shoulder to shoulder, we stand as a united front on the porch of our parent’s killer.

Michael steps forward and bangs on the door.

The fat fucker doesn’t move from his chair that we can see through his window. The same window we’ve been watching all night.

My turn, I bang twice as loud and for as twice as long.

Eventually he moves and answers the door.

“What do you want?” he slurs, his stomach hanging out of the bottom of his grubby vest.

It’s obvious he’s been drinking more than just beer.

“You need to put some shoes on,” I tell him.

“Excuse me?”

“You fuckin’ heard him, we’re going on a drive and you need your shoes on,” Michael repeats me.

“I’m not going anywhere, I don’t fucking know you. Now get off my property.”

He goes to slam the door in our faces but Michael shoves his boot in the doorway and forces his way in.

“I’ve waited years for this,” he sneers, and the guy starts to look at us in a new light.

“Who are you?”

“You should be asking who our parents are, and you know them. You thought you could kill them without facing the consequences.”

He tries backing off but both Michael and I grab for him and to hell with his shoes, he can put them on later.

“Grab his shoes and his jacket too, and lock up.” I order Michael.

Surprisingly, he doesn’t give me the fuck off look at being told what to do. This is how I know how much he wants this.

With both of us at his side, he has no choice but to walk to our truck. Pushing him in, he is wedged between us and I can feel his anxious sweat in the air.

“Let’s get this done so we can go home,” Michael says, lighting a cigarette.

“I have a niece, beautiful little thing she is. She lost her mom, luckily she has her dad and me but that’s where her bloodline ends. It’s not like my niece has grandparents she can turn to, that’s your fault and tonight you’re going to pay for it.”

Whines like a fucking child come from the guy in between us and Michael elbows him in his ribs to shut him up.

I drive out to the middle of nowhere and make sure no one is around. I pull over and that’s when he finds his voice again.

“What are you going to do to me?” he asks, fighting us to stay in the truck.

“You’re going to die, just like my parents,” I tell him, grabbing him around his neck and yanking him out.

Michael comes around and pushes him back into the road.

“Brother, have you ever seen a pig run for its life?”

I shake my head, “I don’t think I have, brother.”

His dirty laugh tells me he knows exactly how this man is going to die.

“I’ll tell you what, if you can out run us then you can live.”

The guy stumbles back and then immediately breaks out into a run back towards town.

“Jump in,” Michael smirks, jumping into the driver’s seat.

“What are you going to do?” I ask.

“Wait and see.”

He revs the engine and when the guy is starting to slow down, he picks up speed and aims straight at him.

Last week I would have been telling him to stop this, to turn around and leave him alone, but tonight, I sit back and watch the show.

With the headlights shining on his retreating back, he turns his head and sees how close we are. He is running out of breath but he picks up his pace and continues to run from us.

“Stop playing with him or you’re going to find out what a pig without breath looks like,” I snort.

“Fine,” he huffs.

Michael pushes his foot the floor and we both jerk back into the seats from the force. The last image I see of the man who killed my mother and father is a partial of his face and his fear excites me. His fear shows me that my parents didn’t die for nothing. This guy is paying for his drunken mistake.

The sound of his body making contact sounds no different to hitting a deer on a back road. Michael stops a little up the road and we both turn to lookout the back window. The guy isn’t moving but Michael isn’t taking any chances. He puts the truck in reverse and backs over him and then speeds up and runs over him again.

“Do you think the pig is dead?”

“Get out and check,” I say, not wanting that particular job myself.

I wait impatiently in the truck and light a cigarette while I do. Blowing smoke out of the window I watch Michael in the wing mirror. He is bent over the guy lying in the middle of the road and stays there long after he searched for a pulse.

It’s not until I finish the cigarette that he comes back.

“Dead as a doornail,” he smirks, turning the engine back on.

“Good, let’s get home. I need to see Alannah before she goes to seep for the night.”

MICHAEL

Mark disappeared into the house as soon as we arrived back at the clubhouse. I spent years thinking we would feel better for killing the murderer who killed our parents. But Mark doesn’t act like it’s made him heal a little and I certainly don’t feel better for it. We stood together and at the time it felt good but now, it feels like shit. I’ve come to the conclusion that it won’t feel better until everyone is dead who takes people away from me.

“What’s going on in that head of yours?” Kitty asks, taking the stool next to mine at the bar.

I look at the woman who I have given everything to over the years, not asking for a lot in return and wonder where all this easy-going, niceness is coming from.

“No matter what I’ve said or done, you’ve never believed you were enough for me, have you?” I ask, finally for the first time just asking her straight.

“What are you talking about?”

I slide off the stool and stand next to her, our bodies are so close there is no room between us. I wrap my arm around her neck so tight she has no choice but to listen to me and hear every word I say.

“You’re mine, Kit and I’m never letting you go.” The urgency in my voice is apparent and I’m desperate for it to sink into her head.

“Michael, what’s happened?”

“Nothing’s happened yet, but it will. I’ll bide my time then they’re all dead.”

“Who?”

“Micky and Chase, I’m going to kill them myself and I’m going to do it spectacularly,” I say, my admission making her pale, “That’s how much I trust you, babe. You’re the only one who knows and it’s going to stay that way.”

She still doesn’t say anything, only looks up at me with wide, green eyes.

“Are you with me?”

A slow smile cross her face and her eyes now sparkle.

“You know I am,” she says.

I don’t care how long it takes but everyone who got in Rayna’s way to survival will die and it will be at my hand.

PART THREE 1997

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

MARK

The land at the back of the clubhouse hasn’t been used in years. The last time we held a party here was before we became a club. Now, we’re celebrating my little girl’s sixth birthday. Everywhere I look all I see is family. Men from all over coming out of respect to me and my family, my daughter. Flo and Kitty have decorated the place in balloons and banners, there is the biggest pink frosted cake I have ever seen and there is more food than we could ever get through, not that I’m moaning, my baby girl can have whatever she wants.

The table set to the side is stacked with too many presents for one little girl but Alannah looks like she is having loads of fun trying to unwrap her way through them. Since Rayna died the only joy, true joy I experience is from Alannah. Watching her grow from a baby into a little girl and seeing her mom in her each and every day keeps her mom alive to me.

“Are you okay? You don’t look too good, brother.”

I look up to see Oak has joined me at one of the tables I’ve been sitting at for the last couple of hours.

“I’m just watching Lana, she hardly asks after Rayna anymore but she always looks so happy.”

“She doesn’t know any different, it’s not a bad thing.”

“It’s not bad necessarily, but I…forget it.”

There’s no point in dredging up past hopes and what-ifs.

“She’s got all of us around to distract her at this age. Wait till she’s older, she’s gonna miss her momma then, needing all that girlie advice and shit.”

That is what worries me. I won’t be around to help her through it either. It’s not like I’ll have the chance to remarry to give her the mother figure she needs, not that I would remarry. Rayna will always be my wife and no one can or would replace her.

“I’ve been thinking about the future and there’s something I need to tell you.”

Here it is, the moment I’ve been dreading for months.

“Spit it out then,” he chortles.

“Oak, come and dance with me,” Jane screeches, stumbling towards us.

Relief washes over me that I can put this off for a while longer but at the same time, frustration eats at me because this has been a long time coming and I don’t have the time to keep putting it off.

I’ve never been particularly fond of Jane, much preferring Shellie as a match for my oldest friend. He made her his old lady about year ago and while she is a tiny five foot against his huge frame, her personality is larger than him and life.

“In a minute darlin’, I’m talking to Mark,” he tells her.

“Nah, it’s fine,” I say, losing my nerve, “Go dance with your girl.”

“What did you need to tell me?”

“Doesn’t matter, we’ll catch up tomorrow.”

I go back to watching the party and see Lana is now being swung around on Micky’s shoulders. He is brilliant with her, nothing is too much for him when it comes to her, Flo too.

Sometimes I think it is guilt over Rayna. Countless times I have told him to let it go. Rayna’s death was my fault and always will be. It’s Michael who makes him feel this way, he hasn’t said anything for a long time but that doesn’t mean he still isn’t harbouring any ill feelings towards him still. I’ve kept my eye on the two of them over the years and while nothing has happened yet, it doesn’t mean it won’t.

I know my brother well, he had it in his head that Micky was to blame at that time and I would bet my life on it that he still does.

Alannah’s giggling pierces through the haze that seems to descend on me more and more these days and I smile. Closing my eyes I can almost believe Rayna is still here. Her and our daughter are one and the same. The sound of their laughter, the same frown when they don’t want to do something, even their looks, Alannah is the spit of Ray. Alannah takes after her mom completely.

It makes it easier and harder to live without Rayna.

“Okay little one, time for bed so the adults can have their own party,” Kitty says, trying to prize Lana away from Micky.

“I don’t want to go to bed, I want to stay up,” Lana whines.

“How old did you turn today, Alannah Blake?” Kitty asks her, bending down so she is the same height.

“Six.”

Alannah sounds so proud of that fact, like’s she all grown up.

“Oh, so you didn’t turn eighteen?”

“No, I’m too little to be that old,” Lana says, making me laugh.

“In that case, you have to go to bed when you’re told.”

I chuckle at their banter and rise from my chair, trying not to let anyone see the discomfort I am in.

“Come on, baby girl. Daddy will tuck you in.”

I hold out my hand and wait for her to come to me. My heart skips every time she does. So beautiful.

We head into the house and she goes up to wash up and brush her teeth. While she’s busy in the bathroom, I take my pills the doc gave me last week. They said they were going to be stronger and they were right. These pills knock me for six.

I knock them back and head up the stairs.

“You finished in there, Lana?” I yell through the bathroom door.

“Coming.”

She bounces out of the door and skips to her room and up onto her bed.

“Have you had a nice birthday, baby girl?” I ask, tucking her in and dropping to my knees beside her.

“Yep,” she grins.

“Good, okay, time to go to sleep. Who loves you the most in this world?”

This is our bedtime ritual.

“You do daddy.”

“You’re damn right I do, and if I’m not around, who’s next in line?”

“Uncle Michael.”

“Who’s next?”

“Uncle Micky and Auntie Flo.”

“Then who?”

“Uncle Oak.”

“Then who?”

“Then everyone in the Lost Souls.”

“Good girl, now get some sleep.”

I give her a kiss on her forehead and turn on her night light. I’ve installed it into her since the day she was born who she has to turn to if I’m not around and I’m glad I have, she’ll always know who to turn to when she’s in need of help.

Closing her door, I make my way to my room and drop the pretence when I’m in my own private space.

The emotions of my girl’s birthday always come out in full force because it reminds me who isn’t here to rightfully celebrate with us. Between that and my cancer, I am drained tonight and can’t face going back down to the party.

Tomorrow I have to tell the guys what’s going on, I can’t keep the fact I am dying and I’m not sure if I have more than a month left to breathe.

Shrugging out of my cut and sliding out of my boots, I lay on the bed and remind myself that dying isn’t so bad because I have Rayna waiting on the other side.

MICHAEL

Yet another tip off and yet another night spent scouting out a bar in a shit area of town. It’s now three o’clock in the morning and the only time I can get away unnoticed by the club to get a location on Chase Carson.

I don’t mind biding my time, but this has been going on for too many years now. After the news that the President of the Lost Souls old lady had died that night, Chase had gone to ground. It was like he knew it was his fault and knew I would be coming for him.

I’ve nearly took him out three times but he has always managed to evade me.

Rubbing the back of my neck I try to relieve some of the tension in the top of my shoulders from being cramped up in this truck when I see the last customer come stumbling out the bar. The closed sign swings round and the lights go out.

Another no-go tip off.

The drive back to Willows Peak is quiet and fast. Being the middle of the night I can put my foot down and it takes half the time to get home.

After Alannah’s birthday yesterday and the party ran afterwards I doubt anyone will hear me come in, but I still move as quietly as I can. The less my comings and goings are noticed, the better.

It’s been weird living back in the main house for the last couple of years, it’s easier for Mark for us to be here to help out with Alannah. Although I have noticed that Kit only helps out with her when Flo is busy.

I climb into bed and thankfully Kitty doesn’t wake. I can’t cope with her incessant questioning.

Looking at the clock, I groan loudly when I see I’ve slept till gone lunch time. The house is quiet as I plod down the stairs, but I’m not alone. Mark is sitting at the kitchen table and it looks like he’s waiting for me.

“Morning,” I grunt, reaching for the coffee pot.

“I’ve got something I need you to take a look at, when you have signed each of the documents where they’re crossed give them back to me.”

“What are they?”

“It’s everything I own, when I die, you get everything.”

Huh? What the fuck?

“Sounds a bit morbid for this time of day.”

“It’s important, brother. I need them back as soon as possible,” he says, seriously.

I nod and throw the envelope on the table. Whatever this is about it can wait till I’ve had my coffee.

“Seriously, this is important and I need you in the back room in ten minutes. I’ve called everyone in and you need to be there too, especially you.”

Especially me? Seriously, this cryptic shit is ruining my brain. It’s too fucking early.

After a shower and quickly throwing some jeans on, I pick up the envelope and flick through the papers inside. It’s like Mark said, it’s everything he owns. This land the clubhouse sits on, his assets, his money, everything.

Why is he doing this? He’s only in his early forties for fuck sakes. He seemed serious about needing this so I rummage through the drawer until I find a pen. I sign each document and shove the papers back in the envelope.

Through the open window I can hear Micky calling for everyone to be in the back room, Mark said he’d already done it so why the urgency in him repeating it.

Picking up my smokes I make my way to the backroom and take my seat in the VP chair. Mark is already there and watching the door as everyone pours through. I’ve never seen him so grim. I mean, I saw a dark side to him after Rayna died but this is a different kind of dark.

I look at the man who I’ve known my whole life and I begin to see the changes in him I’ve yet to notice. He has lost weight and his face is drawn and his worry lines are deeper and more defined.

I give him the envelope back and he offers me a weak smile.

When everyone is seated and he has their full attention the words that then come out of his mouth stop my heart, literally stop it and freeze it and smashes into a thousand pieces.

“Five months ago I started getting these pains in my stomach and when I ate I got full real quick. I was tired all the time and not like usual. I went to the docs and after a bunch of tests I was diagnosed with Pancreatic Cancer. At first they thought it could be treated with chemo and that but last week they said it wasn’t working.”

The whole room goes completely silent, you could hear a feather hit the ground. My brother…is dying. Everything is flashing through my mind at a lightning speed, this can’t be happening. It doesn’t happen to me or my brother.

Without him what will happen? Then it hits me, that’s why he wanted me to sign everything he has over to me. He has been sorting this out behind my back for five fucking months. I understand he kept it from everyone else but why keep it from me. He’s always banging on about me being his brother and we’re together forever but that means shit. When it comes to the important shit he still doesn’t trust me with it. Scraping the chair back loudly, I snatch my smokes off the table and stomp out of the room. There are no words for me to say, so it’s better to just leave.

Telling him I’m sorry to hear the news won’t cut it, not by a long shot. It’s better for me to leave.

“Michael, wait,” Mark calls out.

I can’t, I carry on and ignore him.

I hear heavy footsteps approaching me from behind and I swivel round fast to face them.

Mark is chasing me down and in a split decision, I decide to confront him because running off is lonelier where there are no answers.

He pulls me into his arms but I can’t bear to be touched, I feel like I am suffocating. I have a club who I can turn to but it is my brother who will always be the one I go to, but he’s telling me that isn’t going to be the case anymore.

Just like Rayna, he is going to be nothing but a headstone.

“Get off of us, brother.”

“Don’t run, let’s talk about this,” he urges.

“That’s why you got me signing the shit earlier, isn’t it. You need it and you knew you needed it,” I yell at him.

He turns away from my anger and it winds me up further.

“You’re all I have left,” I half say and half whisper.

“You have more than me here, that’s what all this is about,” he yells back, stretching his arms wide around the club.