Binds (15 page)

“All right, let’s try it this way first,” he says, and it seems as if he’s talking to himself. With his hand on his chin and brow wrinkled in concentration, he studies the chairs. “Yes, I think this would be the best way for me.”

He sits down and looks up at me impatiently, as if I am holding everything up by not taking my seat already. Whatever, obviously he is running this show and I am just here as a prop. I don’t care, as long as it works, I will let him order me around. I sit down and he immediately grasps my hands in his. I pull back, not ready to let him back into my mind so soon. He puts his hands on his knees and grunts, “If you’re not willing to work with me here, I’ll leave.” He pulls back from me and blows out a breath. “There are much more productive ways I could be spending my day today. Let me know when you’re serious about getting rid of these Binds, all right?”

He goes to stand up and I grab his hand, pulling him back. “I am serious about it!” I yell at him. “I just want to know what you’re doing first. Can you explain it or at least give me a warning before you jump the flip back inside my head? Maybe you enjoy being mind fucked, but it’s not a pleasant experience for me, okay?” I sit back in the chair with my arms folded across my chest in a huff.

Spencer smiles and reaches out his hand again, waiting for me to put mine inside it. “I wasn’t going to ‘mind fuck’ you right away,” he says, leaning forward so that his knees are pressed against mine. “You need to give me more credit than that, Ophelia Brand. I enjoy foreplay too much to just jump right in.”

“Ugh,” I groan. Ignoring the sexual innuendo, I push his chest back so that he moves out of my space. “Why must you refer to me as Ophelia Brand, or Mrs. Brand? It’s so annoying. I know my name, okay? Ophelia is fine... even Princess, although extremely condescending, would be better. There’s no need to be so formal.”

“Oh, I thought you liked the name Brand. As for Princess, I only call you that because it suits you. But now … you seemed quite insistent about being a married woman in the kitchen, so I just assumed that you would enjoy the reminder of your blissful union.”

I squint an eye at him incredulously. “You know how ‘blissful’ that union was. Don’t act like you don’t. It was hell. Seven years of torture that I am so relieved to be free of. The fact still stands, though, that I’m married. There is a legal document in the office back at the Brand Palace that proves it. If I had my way years ago, it wouldn’t be true, but things don’t always turn out the way they should. I’m still married to Donovan Brand. That doesn’t mean that I want you to throw it in my face every chance you get.”

“You’re not married,” he replies, matter-of-fact.

“What are you talking about? I was there. I heard the priest say man and wife and this isn’t The Princess Bride, I unfortunately said I do. I’m married. I said the vows and wore the dress and ate the cake, too.”

“Ophelia. Ophelia. Ophelia. Why are you so quick to question the things that you shouldn’t and yet so willing to be resigned to the things that you should question?”

He leans forward and captures my eyes with his. “You made those vows, yes, but the minute Donovan put his hands on you, the second he dishonored you in that way, they became null and void. You’re not married and no piece of paper is going to change that. It wouldn’t matter if it had the seal of God himself placed upon that cursed document, it doesn’t change the fact that it is irrelevant now. Hell, I’m sure that if God had placed his seal upon it, he would be more than happy to come down and rip the blasted piece of paper to shreds.”

“Whatever,” I say, but his words penetrate my will. He’s right. What good is a marriage certificate? It’s just a piece of paper that holds no meaning since the marriage has been terminated in my mind for so long. Spencer is obnoxious in how he does it, but once again, he has given me peace of mind on an issue that has plagued my heart for years. God, I might just have to start being a little nicer to him. I look at the way he’s sitting there, so smug with himself for causing me to question my own beliefs. Maybe not.

He leans forward again and holds out his hand, waiting for me to rebuff it again. I place my hand in his and our eyes lock. I will give him my trust and let him do what he must, although I am still uneasy about it. He rubs his thumb lightly against my palm as if to say thank you, and I can’t help but feel a tingle that causes goose bumps to blossom up my arms. I wonder if I am starting to feel the spark that Reece talked about but am too worried that those tingles were caused by something else to ask.

“Okay, I want you to keep your eyes on mine. We’re going to try to get the Bind off that keeps you from recognizing others of our kind. I think it’s the simplest one you have, so it shouldn’t be too hard to remove. I need you to concentrate and will yourself to feel my power. It won’t work if you aren’t giving me one hundred percent cooperation.”

“I will try.” I’m shaking, I’m so nervous about what this will entail.

“Relax. It won’t be too bad. You’re strong, Ophelia. You got this.” It’s the first time that he has acknowledged my part in this procedure. Having him reassure me goes a long way in relaxing my nerves and I am able to abate the trembles.

I nod, ready, and he is back inside me. I can feel him more clearly this time. He dodges my past, slips around my thoughts and fears, and dives straight down to the core of me to where the monster resides. I see it again, this time through different eyes. It looks scared and exhausted, as if it has been fighting a lifelong battle for freedom and is almost at the point of giving up. I know that feeling, I’ve lived it during these past few years. I avow to do everything I can to save this creature. I won’t let it down. I’m going to fight.

Spencer grabs onto one of the bands holding my creature down and throws his hand off just as quickly as if he’s been burned. “Your mother must have been very strong. These are some of the toughest Binds I have ever seen.” He develops a look of determination and concentration before attempting to touch it again. As he reaches out for it, I can see him murmuring something to himself. It sounds like a chant of some sort and I am assuming that he is using his own magic to work on my mom’s. He is able to hold on this time. I can see the muscles cording at his neck as he strains with the Bind, but it is not moving at all.

“Concentrate, Ophelia!” he yells at me. “I need you to want this too.”

I try, with all of my will to help him, but I’m not sure if I am doing what he expects of me. I keep my focus on the Bind and put all of my longing into the wish I send toward it, willing the band to snap. After focusing for what seems like forever, nothing is happening and I can sense Spencer’s frustration as it fills all of the space around us.

“Damn it, Ophelia. This isn’t working. It’s not going to work either and do you know why?” He doesn’t wait for me to reply, just launches into a ruthless tirade. “It’s because you’re weak. You have all of this power locked away, but I don’t think you ever had any intention of using it. Why should you? Some man is just going to saunter along and save you, right? Just like Reece. Just like you thought Donovan would do. It seems to be your game plan in life, right? You’re just a princess who needs her knight. This is a waste of my fucking time.”

His words cut through me like jagged glass. I’m so angry that I can’t think straight. No, he can’t be right. I don’t want that. I want to save myself. Forget this prick. I will save myself. I begin to repeat it in my head like a mantra.

Save yourself. Save yourself. Save yourself.

I think of nothing else. I push every thought and every fiber of my being towards that Bind as if this is the turning point in my life, either I succeed or perish. There is no point in going back now. If I can’t get this Bind off, I have nothing to go back to, except a life of placing myself in someone else’s hands and I can’t … I won’t live like that. I don’t need anyone to save me, not anymore. I will save myself.

I hear a thunderous snap echo around me as the Bind breaks, as well as several of the others. The recoil of the tension whips around us, and Spencer ducks his head to keep it from coming into contact with him.

He turns to me, triumph in his eyes, “You did it!” He sounds exultant smiling at me, trying to share this success.

I find the power within myself that I didn’t have before and push him out of my mind. It’s not the easy journey he took to get in. I don’t give him any warning; I see the door and kick his ass through it. I come back to myself on the roof of his building, hand in hand with him. Before I jack my hand away from his, I recognize the feeling of his power in it. It’s like putting your hand on a generator; only this would have to be one of the strongest generators in the world, one that sends off an electrical shock just by touching it. I try to act as if the touch doesn’t affect me, but it does.

Spencer looks stunned, as if he would never expect me to be able to kick him out of my mind, no matter how strong I may be. Taking advantage of his momentary astonishment, I reel back my arm and punch the stunned expression off his face.

“Fuck you,” I say as I get up and stomp towards the elevator alcove.

As the doors open, I hear him yell, “I knew pissing you off would work. You’re welcome, Princess.”

I don’t give him a response; I just let the doors close behind me. I need to get as far away from him as I can because if I stick around, I just might have to acknowledge that he was right. I was waiting for someone else to save me. As mad as it makes me that he said it, the shame that he of all people knew the truth is too much to bear.

It’s been a week since Spencer and I were able to get those first few Binds off of me. In that time, I have tried to avoid him as much as possible. He has still made me go up to the roof with him two more times, and we have been successful in removing every Bind but one. Spencer says that it must be keeping me from doing something important, and so he is bound and determined to keep trying. In the meantime, I have found working with Reece every day on my abilities to be a breeze, even though he doesn’t seem to challenge me much. I’m beginning to wonder if that is because I have surpassed his level of ability, but I don’t want to hurt his feelings by suggesting it. So, I keep my mouth shut during our lessons and then, when I am alone in my room, I try to push the boundaries of what he has taught and come up with new ideas to try on my own. In all honesty, I’m pretty bored just hanging around the building. It’s either spend time trying to remove this final Bind with Spencer, or work on magic with Reece. Cass has been distant since the morning after my nightmare, and the other occupants of the building still seem wary or downright unfriendly towards me. I wish Spencer would hold a meeting with all of them and clear my name, but I don’t expect him to do anything that wouldn’t help him or the cause out. He obviously doesn’t think my ability to make friends with the other members of this organization would better either right now.

This afternoon, I am in a den near the ops room working with Reece on halting Binds. This room looks like one of those formal living rooms that old rich people have in their homes, you know the kind where the furniture is stiff and usually a white or cream color and no one has ever sat on any of it. I should feel right at home here—we had two such rooms back at the Brand palace—but I don’t. We work here every day and from the get go, I opted to sit on the rug rather than lounge on the hard sofa like Reece. Maybe that’s the problem, it reminds me too much of my former home to really be able to relax. It’s hard to imagine that a couple with a child would ever have need of this type of room, but I digress.

Reece has been trying to teach me how to suspend his motion. It is the same Bind that Spencer did to me that day out at the explosion site. Reece is a good teacher. I have been pretty quick to learn everything he’s told me to do. Yesterday I learned how to make myself disappear from view for a few minutes. It doesn’t last long, but might be helpful to avoid Spencer the next time he comes looking for me to work with him up on the roof. Also, I learned how to stop and start an object while it was in motion. The problem with that trick was that Reece taught me by tossing an expensive looking vase at me. I was able to stop it by freezing it, literally with ice and everything, but then it shattered when I unfroze it and the shards continued on in the direction that the vase was thrown. Reece thought it was pretty cool and could possibly be used in defense if needed. I’m just frustrated that I’m not able to do it without breaking it. It’s a fear that has been on my mind the whole time as I try to figure out how to make Reece stop. What if I accidentally freeze him too?

“It’s okay, I came prepared,” Reece jokes as he tries to coax me into attempting the Bind. He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a pair of heavy gloves and knitted cap. He puts the cap on and starts to ease the gloves on his fingers while I look on, perplexed. “This way, I’ll stay warm if you decide to do to me what you did to that vase yesterday.” He smiles and although I think he’s a dork, I can’t help but feel a bit more at ease. He must really have faith in me if he can joke about this, that or he knows some kind of counter Bind against being frozen to death. Whatever it is, his smile and the joviality in his eyes make me feel like he thinks I can really do this.