Bitter Sweet (17 page)

Vanessa Stanton

Chapter 22.0

              I always had a problem falling asleep in a bed other than my own so I ended up needing Alik more often than I would have liked in the first few weeks. On my call, he would be here in under an hour to let me fall asleep and wake up in his arms without Sam ever knowing he had come. I didn’t seem able to leave the newfound comfort Alik seemed to create in me. Our talks allowed me to tell myself that this was harmless, that he wished to be with me this way. With some effort, I slowly began to call him less and less, till I made it a full week without him about two months into the semester. Without Alik here every night, I began to let my new life at school take over.

              I thought back to that speech Jenny the valedictorian gave, about our new beginnings after high school and thought maybe the teachers who wrote those speeches were right in some ways. I could feel the start of a new life here in this place, but they said "leaving for college was the start", so was that leaving home? Or walking out the doors of the school for the last time as a student? When I walked out of those doors in that gown, it was free reign from that point on for anything to walk into my life and for me to seize it if I desired. Alik had walked into my life, was I going to let him slip away? It took a long conversation with myself not to call him that moment, and I drowned

myself in thoughts of my classes.

              My design studio professor assigned a group project the next day. We were to develop a small, secluded bit of land to a very open and flowing home for a family with two with children, and that was the day I met Phil formally. Phil was a very nice guy with bold ideas on new age design; he was very passionate about his work. He might even have seemed a little overbearing to anyone outside of the Architecture majors. He had long black hair and green eyes with tanned skin. His smile would make you smile back even when you didn’t feel like it. He immediately came over to me to see if I would work with him. In our first assignment, where we had to do quick sketches on a place for teens to hang out, he seemed the most intent during my presentation and gave the most comments and asked the most questions.

              "It's Vanessa, right?" he asked me, walking over as I pulled my computer from my bag.

              "Yeah, and you are..." I tried not to blush as he reached a hand out. I totally forgot his name.

              "Phil, I’ve been watching your work. I know we are only on our third project, but I really admire what you do."

              "Thank you."

              "How about we get a cup of coffee and work out a few ideas for this hangout."

              "Is this your way of asking me to be your partner or on a date?"

              "A little of both, I suppose," he smiled sheepishly.

              "I'd like that."

              The project had us meeting for hours after our other classes ended. Sam even made a joke about us: if she wanted to find me, she just had to look for us by the lone light that lit a single window on the fourth floor of the studio building. Even after the project ended, which we passed with flying colors, I was still spending most of my time with him. Sam often remarked that she began to feel a bit lonely, despite

her amazing ability to find or start a party wherever she was. Study dates, lunch dates, dinner dates, movie dates, and any kind of date you could think of we would go on. Then one night, he kissed me. Walking back to my dorm in the hall, he stopped me and turned me around to look me in the eyes. His lips were warm and soft like mine and made my heart race. I looked at him, blinked, and took a step back, my heart still racing. "Good night," I said in a low and shaky voice, and it was like when I kissed Seith. I had such a hard time getting my key in the lock that he had to steady my hand. I glimpsed his face as the door closed, a mix of confusion and sadness. I hadn’t said anything about the kiss. Sam was out and I was glad because for some reason, after the door had shut and Phil was walking away, I began to cry.

              In the studio the next day, Phil came straight to me and slipped his arms around my waist and kissed me on the cheek.

              "That was nice, but I still like the first time more," I said. Can you tell I was confused?

              "Really?" he asked surprised.

              “If you were expecting me to react in anger, why did you do it?”

              “I guess I just couldn’t stop myself.”

              "Well, I’m not going to.”

              "I like the model by the way; nice use of aluminum foil on the railing," he pointed out, trying to change the subject. There was something on his mind and he didn’t seem like he was sure if he should say it or not.

              "Thank you."

              "I have a question for you," he said, spinning my chair so I could look him in the face. "What are we?" The look on his face was so intent on my expression for any signs.

              "What do you mean?"

              "If I were to call you my girlfriend, how would you react?" he

asked, still intent on my reaction, so I leaned in to kiss him and when I broke it off, he sat there for a moment, blinked, opened his mouth, and then blinked again. "I was hoping for something along those lines," he said, a grin breaking across his face and he lit up.

              "Now, hand me that glue over there," I said, spinning back around.

              I had been cornered and I reacted without really thinking. We spent the studio class finishing project models and talking as I was still getting to know him. Although, I don’t remember anything that we talked about during that class because my mind was on other things. I should feel horrible to get trapped like that, but I didn’t; I wanted to feel horrible, but I felt at ease. That was until I was alone and broke down again. I told myself that I got my wish and started to slowly cry as I walked back to my dorm. I laid on my bed for a while until I reached for my little crystal phone and called Alik.

Alyon Alik

Chapter 23.0

              June stood across from me, no more than ten feet away. She was crouched low to the ground, her sword tucked behind her in her right hand. I stood unarmed, my knees loose and ready to move in any direction. Then, she was gone. I closed my eyes and heard June to my right. With a step, I dodged her sheath, which she slammed down into the ground so deep that it stood there on its own. In another move, she drew the blade in a upward stroke and I took another step back, dodging it. As one continuous motion, her upward stroke turned into a twist and on the way back around, her foot kicked her sheath and it flew at me like a bullet. In a twist, I caught it in a awkward flip and as she charged me, I held out the sheath and caught her blade, pulling her in close. Three quick jabs to her wrist, arm, and shoulder and she dropped the blade. Grabbing her, I lifted her body and slammed her to the ground, pinning her still.

              “Damn it,” groaned June as she hopped up and dusted herself off.

              “One day, you will get me, your creativity is getting better,” I told her when my phone rang. I listened to Vanessa’s tears and I knew June could hear it all. “I will be there soon,” I said and ended the call. I

smiled at June. “Another day, little sister.”

              “Why, Alik?”

              “Why what?”

              “Why do you put up with her, she doesn’t know what she has in you. So she goes and kisses some other? Now you have to run to her?”

              “She is confused.”

              “She is stupid!”

              “And I am a monster. Should the maiden be happy she loves the beast when her sweet prince is next to her at every step of the way?”

              “It doesn’t bother you that she is using you?”

              “She isn’t using me.”

              “She is, keeping you so close but never intending to go that extra mile and love you, as you love her.”

              “You, as well as I, know that we cannot choose who we love, or how we love, or even know why we love. I love Vanessa and have loved her since I first saw her at Masteria. But you have to remember,” I caught June off guard, crossing the distance between us and pulling her sword from her sheath. I held it loose in my hand and placed it to her throat. She disarmed me, twisting my wrist so hard that it popped. She kicked my legs from me, holding me to the ground, her sword reclaimed in her hand at my neck. “We are predators. The love I hold for you has been tried and proven, yet still if I were to raise a blade to you, you have to force all your natural instincts to obey and not kill me.” She let me up. “With Vanessa being human, every fiber of her being is telling her my love is a trap to draw her in and kill her, the only difference is now she knows what I am. So she will do all she can to stay away whether she wants to or not. I’m tearing her up inside. But I cannot stop myself; she is not the villain here, I am. So do not think too harshly of her.”

              “Alik…”

              “Don’t worry about your big brother, June. What’s sixty-seventy years to my millenia.”

              “I understand…” she said and I turned to leave. “Can I meet her then, formally that is? Last time I was standing over her with a sword, telling you to kill her.”

              “Of course, in a less troubling time.” She smiled, and I left her as I headed to my car.

              I put on the brave face for June, not showing that Vanessa’s call bothered me, but my first thought was that I would kill whoever touched her. Taking the slower drive to get there gave me the time I needed to relax and remember who I wanted to be.

Vanessa Stanton

Chapter 24.0

              I sat on my bed with my arms wrapped around my knees. I was trying to figure out how I would explain this. But I told myself this was stupid because Alik was no more than a friend. However, our relationship sort of transcended the word friendship. We had kissed three times, and they were more than just simple kisses on the cheek; they were something wonderful, passionate, and more loving than anything I had ever felt. Then thinking about those kisses made me remember the feeling that moved down my spine and how my heart stopped for a single moment when Alik’s lips were on mine. There was so much more in those kisses between Alik and me than there ever would be between Phil and me. “Why was I being so stupid?” I yelled out loud into my pillow. Then the conversation we had right before I left popped up.

              ‘It’s not like that, but I can’t guarantee my feelings for you.’

              ‘Why?’

              ‘Is there no reason for my doubts?’… ‘I don’t want to start this if it’s just…’

              All of a sudden, I felt a pair of cool arms around me and I

looked over to see those golden eyes that made me calm down and relax.

              “Do you ever just knock?”

              "You made it sound so urgent; I didn’t want to waste time?" he said quietly.

              "Well... I have a boyfriend." I didn’t mean for it to come out like that, but it did, and all he did was look at me puzzled, the silence drawn out and painful. "Say something," I urged.

              "What do you want me to say?"

              "I don’t know. If I knew, I wouldn’t have asked," I said angrily.

              "Well, is he a nice guy?"

              "Yes, he's very kind."

              "Was that all?"

              "What do you mean ‘was that all’?" It was annoying how he was taking this so lightly.

              "Do you want me to go on a rampage and find the guy and kill him? I’m guessing this intrusion on your scent is his." I enjoyed the slight annoyance in his voice.

              "You know my scent?"

              "Of course, a light vanilla follows you wherever you go..."

              "Oh." I found that sweet for some reason. "But no rampage please, and yes, I guess it is.”

              "Do you want me to be angry?"

              "No."

              "Well, you’re not giving me a bunch of options here." He seemed a little frustrated.

              "Life isn’t fair."

              "Well, I’m dead."

              "Ha ha."               

              "Look, you can date other people. You’re human so you need to be with other humans. I’m vampire; how far our relationship has gone up to this point goes against everything. Don’t think that you have to tell me everything the moment it happens."

              "So..."

              "So, can I meet him then?"

              "You want to?"

              "Of course I want to meet the guy who could get to you."

              "I repeat ha ha. Like you haven’t gotten to me already."

              "Well?"

              "Stay with me tonight?”

              “Of course.”

              “I will call him tomorrow; we can all have ‘lunch’."

              "Really?" he said with a grin.

              "No, we will have lunch; you can watch and talk with him only," I corrected as I hit him, but also smiling for the first time.

              "You take the fun out of everything," he pouted dramatically, and then smiled.

              I fell asleep in his arms, feeling better than I had in a long time. I had convinced myself that I was creating a life that existed outside of Alik, but that only felt like a dream now. I must be one of those people who live for the moment only and never considered what my actions will do to others; I’m a selfish person. The thing is, I didn’t even consider how I would react myself.

              I woke up the next morning with a blanket between Alik and me. That small distance between us hurt more than anything had ever

hurt before. His eyes weren’t as bright as they had been last night. Last night had a greater effect on him than he let on and the night with me only gave him time to realize it. I proved how selfish I was to myself by making him stay with me like this. He simply smiled at me as I went to take a shower. The time apart gave me time to clear my head. We still hadn’t spoken as I was getting dressed, nor had he said a word as we were leaving the room. I took out my phone as we slowly walked the campus, Alik admiring the surroundings silently. It was eleven by now and I decided to dial Phil’s number.

              "Phil, it’s Nessa."

              "What’s up?"

              "My brother stopped by unexpectedly and he wants to meet you; is that okay?"

              "Your brother? Oh yeah, of course. Campus dining hall in twenty minutes work for you?"

"We will be there."

             
“Oh, one thing.”

              “Yeah?”

              “Should I be scared?”

              “You have no idea,” I said, and my tone wasn’t playful. I ended the call.

              Alik was watching me now; the thoughtful look he had was now replaced with a grin. It was the first happy look on his face all morning.

              “So, I’m your brother now, eh,” he said, raising one eyebrow comically.

              “Well, what else do you expect to be? Should I have said some random guy I want you to meet is here?” His grin made me smile as well, but I still wasn’t ready for what was about to happen. We got to the dining hall and before we went in, I stopped him. "Behave."

              “Why do you always say that to me? Don’t I always?" he

sighed.

              “It’s just…”

              “Just what, that I’m a monster? You’re thinking I might lapse in my human ways in there?”

              “No, you’re not a monster,” I said defiantly, looking him in the eyes. “This just feels like I’m putting Phil in crosshairs.”

              “You are, and I’m making no promises,” he grinned and kept walking, but it wasn’t a happy grin.

              Inside, Phil was sitting at a table with a glass of water in his hand. I walked up behind him and gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Alik just grinned. Phil turned around and saw Alik and stood up.

             
"Nice to meet you, I’m Phil," he said to Alik while holding out his hand, which was slightly shaking, and when Alik shook it, Phil winced.

              "Likewise. I’m Alik. I’d like to say I’ve heard all about you, but Vanessa hasn’t told me anything."

              "Really?" Phil asked as he looked at me.

              "I didn’t really have time to say anything. Last night wasn’t my best and you being here this morning caught me off guard," I said defensively.

              “Whose fault is it that you forgot I’d be here today, and this is kind of big news. My little sister has a new boyfriend,” he said accusingly. This felt like retribution, but it didn’t hurt somehow. That, I disliked.

              "Well, what would you like to know?"

              "How about we start with your major?"

              "Architecture with a Linguistic minor. I met Vanessa on a project in our studio class."

              "Classic. Meet the hot guy in class on a project, and then

never let go."

              Phil laughed. "I wouldn’t know about hot, but yeah now that you mention it." He put an arm around me and relaxed. I noticed Alik tense in the slightest.

              "You like cars?"

              "Yeah." Alik’s expression changed. "I take it that you’re a car fan. What do you have?"

              "Aston Martin DB9"

              "You’re kidding,” Phil said, sitting up.

              "So you know your cars at least; what do you have?"

              “Eclipse GSX, a ‘99.”

              “Modifications?”

              “Bigger turbo, stiffer suspension, anti-roll, sway bars, and some cosmetics. I will probably never be done with it.”

              “Did you do that all by yourself?”

              “Of course.”

              “Yeah, we will get along well,” grinned Alik.” Any sports?”

              "Does an Xbox 360 count?"

              "Very much so. You on live?"

              "I’m planning a large Modern Warfare 3 match for this afternoon actually. I’m one man down; a friend pulled out. You want in?"

              "I wasn’t expecting a new boyfriend when I got here. A battle for our digital lives would be a good way for us to get to know each other a little more."

              “Sweet.”

             
I didn’t know what just happened. I sat there and heard words, but they didn’t make any sense. Fifteen minutes later, Alik and Phil walked off toward his dorm while talking about boost pressure as I walked toward my dorm alone. How did it end up with Phil going off alone with Alik? I got to my room and Sam was at her laptop with four books opened to various pages and a strange wire model on the screen. She looked over her shoulder with a pencil in her teeth, her glasses askew, and her hair a little frazzled, it made her look cute.

              “No contacts today?”

              “Josh likes the nerdy girl look. When did Alik get here? Where is he?" she mumbled, turning back to her computer and continued to type away.

              "With Phil," I said, sitting down on my bed and I guess her mouth dropped open because I heard the pencil hit the desk.

              "Are you expecting to ever see Phil alive again?" she asked, spinning around, trying very hard not to laugh.

              "What do you mean?"

              "You know how Alik feels about you. I always got the sense that if Alik wanted to get rid of someone, he could and no one would know."

              "He said he would behave."

              "Still."

              "Phil will be fine; they are going to play something called Call of Duty."

              "Really? That’s just like two guys. What did you pass him off as?" she asked, spinning back around to type again.