Bittersweet Surrender (38 page)

“We can't let our weaknesses stop us, Squirt. I told Melissa right up front about my diabetes, my struggles with Katelyn, all of it. I'm not gonna let the diabetes run my life. I've got too much living yet to do.”

Never in a million years would she have thought Jake could offer such insight into her very own soul.

“Thank you, Jake.”

“For what?”

“For giving my heart wings.”

“Hello, Scott,” Magnolia said when he came
up the stairs.

“Hey, Carly. Magnolia, how are you?”

“I guess Carly told you about the coffeehouse name at the church?”

“Yes, she told me. Pastor also told me the kids decided on ‘Teen Beans.'”

Magnolia chuckled. “Personally, I think the Ivy Hammond Coffeehouse sounded better, but to each her own. Anyway, I'm sorry about all the fuss. I shouldn't have been so prideful about it all.”

“Don't give it another thought, Magnolia.” Scott reached over and hugged her. Carly suspected that was the first hug they had shared in a very long time.

“Oh dear,” Magnolia said, her face turning red as a radish. “Oh, by the way, Carly, I'm moving in with my friend Irene. I figured with the way things were going between you and Scott, you didn't need an old woman in the way.”

“Magnolia! You know you are welcome here.” Carly couldn't believe she was saying that, but truly she had gotten used to Magnolia hanging around and she looked forward to coming home to someone at the end of the day.

She cackled lightly. “I know that, dear. Just wanted to get a rise out of you and Scott.” She cackled some more.

Scott looked at Carly and they both laughed.

“Well, you know you don't need to leave. You're welcome to stay here for as long as you like.”

“I did. And now I'm ready to move in with someone more my own age. No offense, but she understands what it's like to be an old woman. I'll be moving next Saturday.”

“Magnolia, I have to know. Did my dad leave you in financial trouble? Because if he did, I'll be happy to help you,” Carly said, figuring she could use some of her disbursement check to help Magnolia out. After seeing the money under her mattress, she doubted that was the problem, but she hadn't actually counted it, so what did she know?

“Oh my heavens, no. I have more money than I know what to do with.”

“But you never even get bank statements.”

“That's because I don't trust those banks, no, ma'am. I just stuff my money under my mattress, that's all. Then if I need some, there it is. I don't have to answer to anyone and don't get charged if I don't have the amount they think I should have. No, ma'am. This suits me just fine. By the way, I wondered if I could help you with the spa. If you need to do an update, remodel or something. I don't know what to do with all that money.”

Dear, sweet Magnolia. All this time, Carly had thought . . .

“What about living here? Didn't you come here because you couldn't afford the house?” Scott ventured.

“Is that what you thought? Oh my goodness, no. I don't like living alone. Never have liked it.” She turned to Carly. “When you offered your place, it suited me just fine.” She lifted an impish smile. “Thought I could get you eating healthy all at the same time. My work here is done.”

Carly grinned. “You are too good to me, Magnolia. Group hug.”

Carly and Scott walked over and pulled the woman into a circled embrace. Magnolia giggled and when they pulled away, she looked ten years younger.

“I'm not trying to rush you off, but if you need my help moving on Saturday, I'd be happy to help you.”

“Now that you mention it, Scott, it would be nice to have a man's help.”

“Next Saturday it is,” he said.

“See you kids later.” Magnolia waved, then disappeared down the stairs and out the front door.

“And to think we thought she was practically destitute,” Scott said.

“Well, think about it. She grows her own food. She rarely spends a nickel. No wonder she has all that money.”

He grinned.

“Not only that, but did I tell you about the time I saw money in her mattress?”

She told him the story. Once they settled down from laughing, Scott asked her, “So are you going to tell me about your lunch with Jake? Or is it none of my business?”

If being in love made people glow, she imagined she could pass for a night-light right about now.

“It just so happens he told me—” Just as she was about to tell him about Jake and Melissa, it occurred to him that Scott might have mixed feelings about the news. “Maybe before I tell you that, you should tell me about you and Melissa.”

They were standing, facing each other. He looked surprised. “What? There's nothing to tell, you know that. I pretty much let her know she was a nice woman and all, but I didn't share her vision for our future. She asked me if I was in love with you. I told her yes. That was that.”

Carly gasped. “When did you tell her that?”

“The night you saw her kiss me. Do you mind?”

She placed her hands on his chest and leaned into him. “Not at all.”

Like the drizzle of cocoa over a hot drink, he sprinkled light kisses upon her lips. “Okay, so about you and Jake,” he whispered.

“He and Melissa are dating.”

He looked at her in surprise. “And how does that make you feel?”

“Wonderful. How does it make
you
feel?”

“Happy for them—happy for us.”

“Promise?”

“Promise.” He hesitated. “Say, what happened to that wild crush you had on him?”

“It evaporated with my teens, I just didn't know it yet.”

“I'm glad.” He hugged her once more. “Ready to go?”

She nodded. “How hungry are you?” she asked as they climbed into the car.

“Not very.”

“Me neither. Can we stop at the park?”

He studied her. “Are you reverting back to your childhood?”

“Something like that.”

A perfect evening breeze lifted the stifling
heat of summer. Deep crimsons and yellows splayed across the horizon beyond the oaks and maples as the sun said good-bye to another day. This was becoming Carly's most treasured haven with Scott.

“So what's going on with Rita and C. J.?” he asked while pushing her on the swing, causing her body to soar with her spirit.

“They're going to counseling. Rita is moving out of my place next week into her own apartment. They're selling the house.”

“Do you think they'll get back together?”

“Too soon to tell. C. J. has a long way to go. He's still got a lot of gambling debt, and Rita won't go back to him until she's sure he's on his way to recovery.”

“Can't say that I blame her,” Scott said.

“Yeah, I know. I just hope C. J. doesn't blow it.”

The wind lifted Scott's leathery cologne her way, and she wanted to linger there, wrapped in his scent, his presence.

“Looks like you'll have an empty nest soon,” Scott said.

“Looks like it.” Melancholy swept over Carly, replacing her euphoria from only seconds ago. Isn't that what she'd wanted, to get back her privacy, her life?

What was she thinking? Magnolia and Rita had spiced up her life. Given her something to think about besides her own pain.

Scott stood in front of her and slowed the swing to a stop. “I hope you don't get too used to it.”

“What do you mean?”

He pulled her from the swing up to him. In the twilight, with no one around but a few flapping birds, Scott slipped his arms around the curve of her back and pulled her close to him. His arms strong and protective.

His mouth touched her temple, her jawline, her lips, and finally fell softly on her ear. His breath was warm, his touch soothing. “Please say you won't shut me out because of what Gary did to you, Carly.” He pulled back and searched her face. “You are a beautiful woman with so much life yet to live. Say you'll let me share it with you.”

He slipped something from his pocket and slid it onto her left ring finger.

She looked down to see a beautiful diamond glistening in the last rays of the evening sun. She gasped and looked up at him, trying desperately to keep the old fears at bay.

He brushed a lock of hair from her forehead. The tenderness in his touch made her weak. His gaze pinned her. “I'm not Gary. I will never do to you what he did. I love you unconditionally, completely, utterly, heart and soul, do you understand me?”

Tears streamed down her face and she nodded. He always seemed to know what she was feeling.

“I will make mistakes because I'm human, but I promise you”—he lifted her hand to his lips, his mouth trailing over her fingers as he whispered between soft kisses—“Carly Westlake, that I will never, ever, hurt you with the kind of pain Gary caused you.” He paused and she looked at him. “I've learned some things from my first marriage, too, and I hope to do better this time around.”

Chills covered her arms. Tears continued to flow.

He pulled her close. His lips touched her ear as he whispered, “I vow to love you with all my heart until my dying day. If you will agree to be my wife, I will do everything in my power to make you the happiest woman on earth.” Leaning back, he looked her full in the face. “Carly, my sweet, sweet Carly, will you marry me?”

She couldn't imagine being any happier than she was right this minute. She didn't know what the future held. With or without the surgery, Scott loved her. That might be enough. Or maybe she would still have the surgery—for herself. Either way, she had Scott's blessing, and that meant everything.

In that moment, when it seemed everything around her paused to take a breath, Carly Westlake moved heaven and earth to get one word past the knot in her throat.

“Yes!” she said.

Scott picked her up and swirled her around until she was lightheaded.

“Hey, lady, are you okay?” A little girl with blond pigtails and a freckled nose asked while her mother stood nearby with a grin.

Scott put Carly down. She reached over and patted the little girl on top of the head. “I've never been better, honey. Never been better.”

reading group guide

Grab a bag of chocolate and let 's talk.

1. Life's problems had devastated Carly Westlake. She struggled to move past them. Do you ever feel that way? How did you move on—or did you? If not, what steps can you take to move on now?

2. Breast cancer had left Carly broken in body and spirit. She judged her self-worth by her husband's treatment of her. She finally learned what her mind had been telling her along: God loved her unconditionally and she was beautiful in His eyes. Have you ever struggled with self-esteem because of the way someone else treated you? What did you do to overcome it?

3. Carly's husband walked out on her when she needed him most. Maybe someone has done the same to you. She had to learn that true joy comes from God and not from other people. Have you learned that as well? Can you elaborate?

4. People can let us down, as Carly found out. Her friend, Ivy, wasn't who she seemed. Has someone in your life let you down? After your initial shock and disappointment, did you offer forgiveness?

5. Carly discovered the only way she could move on and make a better life for herself was to accept her shortcomings and forgive others theirs. Is there someone in your life who is robbing you of joy? Have you forgiven them? Do you pray for them? Prayer not only changes things, it changes us.

6. Sometimes we think we have life all figured out. Carly thought Jake was the answer to her problems. When he moved back, things didn't turn out quite like she expected. It seemed God had other plans. Have you ever had that happen in your life? Explain.

7. Scott had some issues of his own. Betrayal by a spouse is no small matter. Pain seems to stretch to the deepest part of us. But there is always hope. It may come in unexpected ways and almost never when we expect it. When we keep our eyes on Jesus, surprise and joy are just around the corner. Maybe you've found that to be true, but if not, is your focus in the right place?

8. Sometimes life's inconveniences turn out to be blessings. With Magnolia's arrival, Carly was less than pleased, but ultimately her stepmother had much to offer. Are you in a situation right now that seems less than ideal? Is it possible God is trying to teach you something through the chaos? If so, what?

9. Carly's brother, C. J., had private pain about which no one knew—though signs were there. Could there be someone in your life who is hurting and you just haven't noticed? Reaching out to them may be their lifeline to hope. What can you do to help?

10. Carly ultimately found love again, but she had to wait and work through her pain to get there. Perhaps you're going through a waiting period as well. Hope seems distant and life hard. What are some things you can do to get you through this dry season? While you're waiting, are there things you can do to help others along the way?