Authors: Colin Dunne
He'd picked up the winged badge I'd found in Solrun's photo album, which was now mixed up among my small change. He held it up and turned it around in the light. 'What is it, Mr Craven? Please enlighten me?'
As he placed it in the palm of his wide hand and held it out to me, I mumbled: 'That? Oh, just a bit of junk I picked up somewhere .. .'
It looks like a military badge.' I could feel his eyes drilling into me. 'What are these letters? AC. What do they stand for?'
'Afrika Corps,' I said in a blaze of inspiration. 'Military badges, I pick them up for a friend's little boy.'
'Really.' His eyes didn't leave my face. 'Wouldn't AK be more accurate for Afrika Korps? And why would they want wings? Forgive me, but my memory is that they relied rather more on tanks than on aircraft?'
I made a show of inspecting the badge. Sorry - you're quite right. That's an air-raid warden's badge from the last war. The initials stand for "All Clear". Quite a collector's item.'
With a leisurely movement, he closed his hand over it and put it in his pocket. 'In that case, perhaps it would be wise if I look after it until you are leaving the country.'
What could I do? Nothing except thank him. So I did. And I was still wondering how he'd managed to outflank me like that when I stepped outside.
'Over here.' I heard a whistle, and then saw a taxi parked down the side of the building. Bell's head was poking out of the window. 'Got your message, but they wouldn't let me in, I'm afraid. Whatever was it all about?'
I told him - or at least an outline of what had happened.
'My word! Stirring times, as they say. They are taking you seriously, aren't they?'
'Why?'
'Petursson's the top chap. Chief spy-catcher.'
'What is that place anyway?'
'Rannsoknarlogrella Rikisins. Literally, Investigative Police of the State.'
'Sort of Special Branch and MI whatsit?'
'Yes. With Miss Marple and Odd job thrown in. Did they give you a bad time?'
'Not really. Well, they didn't throw their bowler hats at me, anyway.'
11
Maybe it's because I was brought up in dormitories that I don't like sleeping in modern hotels. I always have the feeling that the bedroom walls will fall down and I'll find myself sleeping in a vast five-star dormitory for lost American Express boys.
That's why I always stayed at Hulda's and not at the Saga. I liked a bit of a clutter around me, and there was no shortage of that at Hulda’s.
She lived in a barujarns hus - one of the lovely old houses clad in corrugated iron - and the whole place was plastered with evidence of her existence for the last seven decades. There wasn't a surface, horizontal or vertical, that wasn't covered in pictures of human beings on their way from cot to coffin: children, grandchildren, and no doubt great grandchildren, in prams, playing, on bikes, in uniforms, on holidays, and then proudly holding produce of their own. And, since they all had Hulda's clear open forehead, it was like looking down a hall of mirrors.
There were other reasons for staying there, too. Hulda, as frail and perky as a sparrow, knew everything and everyone on the island.
The disadvantage was that she still considered it her duty to introduce me to Viking delicacies- and she wouldn't even let me have a blindfold. She sat there, the light from the half shuttered windows glinting on the glass of the photographs, watching every mouthful.
'Delicious,' I lied, gagging on the last bite. I don't know what it was. I would've said it had been kicked out of a badly frightened penguin, but I could be wrong.
And Hulda said what she always says at that point in the conversation. She nodded her lovely old head, the grey hair pinned back in a tight bun: 'It is my pleasure and my duty.'
It was coming up for noon. A few hours' sleep and I was restored, but I had a lot to do. For a start, I wished that Batty had at least given me an emergency number to ring. I'd no idea what to do about a vanishing client. And I wanted to find Ivan and see what he was doing in town. I wouldn't have thought Moscow was interested in Sexy Eskies.
And, now that I'd had more time to think about it, I was comforted by the way Bell had turned out so readily. I couldn't really believe that British intelligence services, inept as they are supposed to be, would send a bumbling amateur like me to do anything more complicated than post a letter. But they might want to use my personal influence- as Batty had said- so long as they had a trade-tested pro keeping an eye on me. As far as I was concerned, they could keep as many eyes on me as they wanted.
'You are seeing Solrun?' Hulda asked, her hawk-eyes searching my plate for signs of leftovers.
'That's the idea.' Even Hulda’s information service couldn't have got hold of Sopron’s disappearance so quickly.
'She is a most lovely girl.' She sighed as though for her own lost youth. Perhaps it was. Her own beauty was there to see, in the pictures on the walls.
'Is she still single?' I asked, and instantly regretted it. From the look on her face, I knew Hulda had taken it as a reflection on Solrun's desirability, and thus the desirability of all Icelandic women, and by implication the entire nation.
'She could have endless many men,' she said. 'Endless many.'
That was another of her charming idiosyncrasies: endless many.
'Oh, I know, I know.'
'But she has many opportunities for life itself. All the famous magazines wish to take her photograph because she is so beautiful. Yes, that is true. She wishes also to win this title of the most beautiful woman in the world to bring honour on us all. She has men, naturally. Women must have men. But she also has her own life, I think.'
'Quite right too. She's a gorgeous girl.'
'You should know that, Sam.'
'I do, I do. And you're the most gorgeous of them all, Hulda.'
I kissed the top of her head as I passed. 'Don't wait up.'
'And what about you?' she called after me. 'When are you getting married again?'
'The day you say "yow", and not before.'
12
The Vikings fixed on Reykjavik by the traditional, off chance, method of chucking their furniture over the side of the longboat and setting up house where it landed. If you let your dining table do your house-hunting, then I suppose you shouldn't complain too much if you end up in an odd sort of place.
And Iceland is an odd sort of place. For over a thousand years after that, they staggered on through blizzards and Black Death, frozen one minute, roasted by volcanoes the next, scratching out a living on a hot cinder still sizzling among the ice at the edge of the Arctic Circle.
Then, after the last war, they suddenly hit the jackpot with their fishing. By the seventies, when I first went there, it was one of the most prosperous countries on earth.
I walked down through the town to see how much it had changed in the past two years. Quite a bit, as it turned out. The pop-fashion explosion had hit them the same as everyone else. Down Laugavegur, blow-ups of Bogart and Monroe smould erred in the shop windows, and on the walkway at Austurstraeti the pavement was knee-deep in Bowie flooding from the shop doorways.
At some secret signal, discernible only to people under the age of twenty, the kids there had changed from skin-tight clothes to floppy, crinkly bags four sizes too big - just like the kids everywhere in the Western world. They lolled in the pale sunshine and tried to feel Mediterranean while they read each other's tee-shirts. Yet they still nibbled the hardfiskur they bought from the pavement stall with one hand, while drinking
Coke with the other.
On the hillside opposite, the little toy-town houses in their bright coats of paint looked daintily impermanent. Dress it up how you like, Reykjavik still has the air of the Yukon about it. Only they didn't find gold here. This is a fish-rush town.
I had a coffee in a smart cafe overlooking the square and wrote a card to Sally. In a doomed attempt to impress the nuns, I'd bought one with a picture of one of the spouting geysers. But I'd spoiled it by writing on the back: 'As you can see, the plumbing here is an absolute disgrace. And guess who's here? � Uncle Ivan.'
Then, in one of those coincidences we deride on the telly but never question in real life, I looked down into the square and saw Ivan. He was sitting on a low wall surrounding a flower garden. Next to him was Christopher Bell.
I was so surprised that when I paid for my coffee I hardly noticed that it cost only slightly less than the down-payment on a five-bedroomed house in Kensington. Icelandic prices rate high on the wince scale.
'Here he is,' Ivan said, as I walked over to them. 'My favourite diurnalist.' He was the pal who'd done the writing on my office window.
'How did you two find each other?'
'Simple really,' Christopher said, a smile breaking out beneath his banana nose. 'I heard this gentleman asking for you at the desk of the hotel.
It wasn't all that amazing. If you had an expense account and none of my funny twitches about dormitories, the Saga was the place to stay.
'What the hell are you doing here?'
Ivan ignored the question. With an exaggerated roll of his eyes, he replied: 'Never mind that, dear boy. Do you realise I'm missing Sussex at home to Yorkshire?'
'I say,' Christopher intervened with boyish excitement, 'are you keen on cricket?'
'Keen? I adore it.'
'He thinks it's the perfect evocation of man's eternal soul, don't you, Ivan?' I said, just to annoy him.
He rewarded me with a petulant blink. 'I still find it impossible to believe that such a bland race as the English could invent a game so rich in yearning. It's a very Russian emotion, yearning.'
'Ah, yearning. Yes.' Christopher didn't look too convinced, but then he'd probably never met anyone quite like Ivan before. He was an original.
In Fleet Street, he was known - affectionately, I hasten to add - as the Gay Red. His parents, one Russian, one English, were academics and he'd split his childhood between the two countries. For years now he'd been based in London for one of the Russian agencies. It was generally assumed, as with all Russian journalists, that his real job was to post bits of information back to the boys at home: this, together with his discreet but clear use of eye-liner, gave him the nickname- and a sort of raffish glamour.
I'd always liked him. When I was married he quite often came back for dinner. He used to entertain us at obscure and grubby East European restaurants which always seemed to be above men's hairdressers in Muswell Hill where the food was invariably a delight. After my divorce, we became good boozing mates.
I knew him as well as anyone, and even I was never sure how much was affectation and how much genuine. The one thing we didn't have in common was cricket. For all it meant to me, it might as well have been Russian. But he used to love to get out to the county games and install himself in a deck-chair among all those elderly couples, tartan rugs around their knees, making faint marks in large scorebooks as they ate damp egg sandwiches.
'And how is the wondrous Sally?' he inquired, with his usual reproving note. He was her godfather. He took his duties - including checking up on me- very seriously.
I showed him the card. 'You'll make the girl into one of those giggly creatures who work in dress shops in South Ken. Tell me it's not true that you are working for the dreaded Grimm- oh my God, it is.'
'What's in it for your Moscow masters, Ivan?'
'Perfectly obvious, surely. The beauty business is the classic example of the exploitation of the innocent by the grasping capitalists. Don't you know anything, dear boy? But I hear you have mislaid, if that's the word, the lady in question.'
He caught my quick glance at Christopher - I van didn't miss that sort of thing- and explained: no one had been indiscreet; he'd picked up that information from the Russian Embassy. Not that it would matter, he added.
'I'd no idea you chaps co-operated so much,' Christopher said.
'Believe me,' Ivan replied, 'whether he's in London or Moscow, a boss is a boss is a boss. There is surprisingly little to choose between Sam's ghastly Sexy Eskies and my dreary little pieces of propaganda. Our principal problem, I fear, will be finding exquisite gifts for the wondrous Sally in this desolate dump.'
I thought we might give her one of Bell's musical loo fittings?'
Ivan's eyes rolled to the skies. 'I declare that out of bounds immediately. Now I must go in search of a vast g and t, and you, Sam, will no doubt wish to have a gallon of that appalling slop you drink.'
'Not here. You can't get beer and there aren't any boozers.’
‘We'll have to go to a restaurant.'
'They are a bit restrictive with the old firewater,' Christopher said, apologetically.
'In that case, let us waste no further time.' Ivan rose, a tall stick of a man, his greying hair falling in curtains on either side of his bony face. 'Good Lord!'
At that moment, through a bunch of kids playing around, came a boy with a wad of newspapers under his arm. He looked maybe eleven or twelve. He stopped in front of us and gave a weird funereal wail that was presumably the Icelandic for Three Hurt in Polar Bear Horror. But that wasn't what made us stare. His flat, expressionless face was the one that had become an international symbol for suffering. And you don't expect to stumble upon a Vietnamese at the other end of the world.