Blackbird (28 page)

              Chelle felt as though she was going to be sick. If Lillian had truly seen everything that had ever happened to her she had to know exactly what those words would do to her. They cut her deep and hard, leaving a more wretched mark than any physical scar. Had she even realized what she’d said? One look in her eyes and she knew, Lillian’s choice of words had been calculated and intentional.

              Before there was an opportunity to respond or defend herself in any way, Robert came bounding down the stairs. “They had the dressers all in the wrong places but we shifted them around. I think I got them in the right order.”

              Lillian’s face changed into a pleasant smile. “Thank you, sweetheart.”

              “Robert,” Chelle said standing and turning her back on Lillian. “I’m so tired. Can you take me back? I need to lie down.”

              His expression changed to concern. “Of course. Are you alright?” He took her by the shoulders to look at her more closely.

              “I’m fine. Just exhausted.”

              “Ok,” he said. He maneuvered around her and gave his mother another embrace. “Mom, you don’t know how happy I am to have you back again. I’ve missed you. I’ll come back tomorrow when everything is in order. I have a lot to tell you.”

              “I’m looking forward to it,” she said. “Oh and Chelle, remember what I said. Thanks again.”

              It sounded like part thank you and part threat. Chelle wasn’t sure how to respond. “I will,” she said as Robert held the door open.

              “What did you and my mom talk about while I was upstairs?” Robert asked as he started the car.

              Chelle was afraid to speak fearing that the emotions she was holding down would come spilling out with her words. After a few moments of awkward silence she swallowed hard and said, “About how much she loves you. All of you.”

              Robert was still lost in his own happiness, overjoyed at being able to converse with his mother again. “She’s a good woman. Everyone likes her. She and my Dad were a pair, my god. They were so well suited. I just wish he was here to see this. Chelle you’ve done such a wonderful thing. You’re going to make so many people so happy.”

              He grabbed her hand, lacing his fingers through hers as he drove and as their skin made contact the joyful expression on his face changed to sadness. “What’s wrong?”

              “Nothing’s wrong. I told you I’m just exhausted.”

              They drove in silence the rest of the way, but when Robert parked in the driveway he took her hand again, turning her to face him. “I don’t know why or how it is, but I just know that you can’t hide your emotions from me. When I touch you I can feel them. Your sadness, your fear, it’s all there. Tell me what’s causing it, Chelle. I can’t bear for you to feel it. I need to fix it…please.”

              Robert was the only person she had ever known to make such an offer. She wanted to take him up on it. Wanted to crawl into his arms and unburden herself. But to tell herself that he could make it all better would only be a lie. The love between them could never do anything but make it worse. So much worse. “Let’s go inside,” she said. “I need to lay with you.”

              They slipped quietly into the bedroom, undressed and lay in each other’s arms for a long while. “Are you going to tell me?” he asked.

              “No, not right now,” she said. “I want you to sleep, Robert. Just close your eyes. When you wake up everything will be better.”

              He pulled her to his chest, hugging her tight and she lay with her ear over his heart, listening to the slow steady beat. After a time his body relaxed and his breathing became steady and rhythmic. She perched herself up on her elbows and looked at him, studying his face, his arms. She wanted to memorize it all and closed her eyes to picture him, making sure her mind had captured his image in this moment. When she was sure it had she lay a kiss on his chest and put his arm down by his side, quietly creeping out of the bed.

              Night had come and it was full dark. She could slip out of this house the way she’d slipped in and out of so many others, only this time she would have to go far away. To another town to start another life. It was like his mother had said. If she loved him she’d leave him alone, and god, she loved him. It was something so intense she knew it would consume her if she didn’t leave now anyway. Chelle told herself she had never been beholden to anyone, and wasn’t going to start now. She was a tough woman and would make it on her own.

              An aching began in her back and she felt a stirring just underneath the surface of her skin. Her wings were feeling her agony, and wanting to assert themselves.
Not just yet
she told them. They settled down, but only slightly. She knew soon she would have to let them out or risk having it happen when or where she didn’t want them to.

              Robert had stored the pressure suit in the closet of the other bedroom she’d used and Chelle ran to it, stripping down as she did and getting it on as fast as she could. She set out for the front door leaving everything behind, leaving Robert behind. She took nothing at all, her only objective being to get as far away from him and her human existence as possible. Victor was somewhere in New York, and even though the thought of him gave her a feeling of horrible confinement and constriction she realized she may have no choice but to seek him out anyway.              Her wings emerged just as she came to the end of the walkway, and the only thought she had to think was
up.
And that’s what her wings did. They took her up, and out, and away.

***

              Robert twitched in his sleep as his back pained. Something was moving around inside him, something with a mind and intent of its own. It was foreign and disturbing and he breathed in sharply, anticipating the pain that whatever it was would soon cause him. There would be blood too. Large pools of it gushing from his ravaged back, falling to the floor in big wet sops. The pain, my god the pain. He knew it would come, but somehow the anticipation of it was worse than anything.

              He cringed and rolled over, reaching out for Chelle and knowing, even in the brief second before he was fully awake, that she was gone. Opening his eyes to an empty room he felt a loss so deep and profound that he could sense was not totally his own. It was the culmination of everything they’d shared together and now what they could possibly lose.

              He sprung from the bed, searching the house, hoping with everything in him that he was wrong. Hoping he’d see her in another room, just sitting, where he could physically reach out and touch her. He needed to touch her, his hands and arms thirsty for the feel of her skin. “Chelle?” he called out in the empty house, but even as he did he knew it was no good.

              From the corner of his eye he spotted the open closet door and padded down the hallway to see for himself what he already knew was missing. Swinging the door back he spied the empty space. The suit was gone. Everything else was left behind but the pressure suit had been taken, and now he was sure she was so far away he’d never reach her. He’d fallen asleep hours ago.

              Robert dropped down on the bed in the spare room, curling himself up into a ball, his mind racing. How could this have happened? His stomach clenched and tightened suddenly and then he was in the throes of full blown sickness. He jumped up, making it to the bathroom just in time to keep from vomiting on the floor. In all his life he could not ever remember being so very sick. His stomach lurched again and again until finally a half hour later he was finished, and lay spent on the bathroom floor.

              Yes, she was gone, but could not being with her really make him sick? After a time he put himself back together, somewhat, and decided it didn’t matter. He may not have known where she had gone but there were two people who might have the answer and he was sure at least one of them would be at work, even at this ungodly hour of four a.m.

Chapter Thirty-Two

              Greg threw books and equipment into boxes as fast as he could. Everything had to go. This whole space had to be emptied. There was still the question of where he’d put it all, but for now it just had to be gone. Luckily he’d been able to rent a U-Haul truck just as the place was closing down and so once everything was stripped away he’d load it in there and drive, if he didn’t have a heart attack first. He cursed his extra weight now and wiped the sweat from his brow, feeling his skin redden. He may die doing this, but that would be preferable to what Robert would do to him if he ever found out.

             
How did I get here?
he thought.
What on earth have I done?

             
The look of sheer joy and gratitude on Chelle’s face earlier had woken him up. She trusted him. She trusted Michael too, and they were both betraying her. For what? Money? Fame? It all seemed pointless now but somehow in the process of setting things up he’d rationalized the whole thing to himself, and had accepted Michael’s rationalizations too. All of the lies he told himself about how it might help someone else to study her and give that information over to the ‘proper authorities’ was just utter bullshit. He was doing what he always did. Looking out for himself.

              But seeing how she had been so grateful, and how much his brother cared for her, and she for him had broken through to his sense of right and wrong. A sense that his mother had planted in him oh so long ago, and one that she might now be in a state to question. Also aiding his decision was the thought of perhaps having to face what his mother might think of him, now that she was sane enough to do so again.

              He stopped for a moment looking around at the boxes. So many boxes and only another three hours to get them all packed and loaded onto the truck. Michael would be here at his usual time and he had to be gone by then. He had thought about calling him to distract him or tell him he had to be somewhere else but then decided that would be too suspicious. With any luck it would look like they were robbed. He would store the truck somewhere and saunter in an hour late with coffee, hoping he could look surprised enough. That was if all went according to plan. The whole thing made him tired and he was looking forward to sleeping for a few days after the whole mess was forgotten.

              “What are you doing?” an alarmed voice said from behind him. Turning he saw Robert, who looked awful and smelled worse.

              He simply stood for a moment, not knowing what to say, then finally settled on, “Packing.” Greg had never been good at lying once he was caught and he bit his lip as he heard his own voice quiver.

              “Packing? Why? You’re tearing down your lab? Where’s Michael?”

              “He was busy and couldn’t help. I offered to do it alone.”

              “Why would you dismantle everything? What about all the plans you had for it? Wasn’t this your dream?” Robert looked thoroughly confused and stood as Greg stared at him in silence, waiting for an answer.

              “Robert, you look like shit. What’s the matter?”

              “I feel like shit. Chelle left. I’ve been sick. I’m pretty sure one has something to do with the other. That’s why I’m here. I need you to help me.”

              It was only now that Greg noticed his brother’s trembling hands. He wanted to help, even if just to make up for what he’d done. “How can I help you?”

              “I need to find her. I don’t know where she went. She just took off. We went to see Mom earlier and then we went home and went to bed. When I woke up she was gone. She only took the pressure suit.”

              “Well, maybe she’s just testing it out. How do you know she’s not coming back?”

              “I just…know. I don’t know how I do, but somehow I know her intent.”

              Greg couldn’t help it. He just had too much scientist in him to not be interested in the answer. “And what’s her intent?”

              “To never come back.”

              Now it was Greg’s hands that were shaking. He could tell Robert what he’d been up to and risk his reaction, or cover his own ass and shoo him away so he could keep packing. He looked at his brother who was just about ready to break down or fall over, or both. His conscience stirred and he decided that perhaps running away was not the answer, not this time. “There’s a tracking device in the suit,” he said, pulling out his smart phone. “If she’s not too far away I might be able to see where she is.

              “Tracking device? Why would you put a tracking device in the pressure suit?”

              “Well, you know, just in case. You never know,” he stammered, aware of how awkward he sounded.

              “Just in case of what?”

              “I mean, she might take it out and get in trouble or get lost or something. We’d want to be able to help her, wouldn’t we?”