Blackwing Dragon (Harper's Mountains 5) (12 page)

He said it like he knew what it was to be broken, and it made Rowan want to cry harder. They were a mess, she and Kane. They were chaos and pain that somehow matched. “You know how you said you don’t talk about your missing dragon with anyone?”

“Yeah,” he said, staring at the stars above them with a troubled set to his mouth.

“Well, I don’t tell people about why I got stuck in Damon’s Mountains.”

“Ever?” he asked.

“Ever.”

Kane laid his hand on his chest and inhaled deeply. “You know about genetic cleansing?”

Five words, but oh what they did to her. Rowan squeezed her eyes closed against the pain ripping through her chest. She’d wondered if that’s what he had meant when he’d admitted he didn’t have his dragon anymore, but she had hoped and prayed so hard that genetic cleansing wasn’t a part of his story. “Yes,” she whispered.

Kane’s heart rate kicked up against her cheek. He hooked a finger under her chin and leaned down, pressed his lips against hers. It was gentle, but it was a lie. Kane wasn’t in a gentle mood, evident from the rigidity of his body and that soft warning rumble in his throat as he eased away. He leaned in and placed his lips so close to her ear they brushed her sensitive lobe when he whispered, “That’s what happened to my dragon.”

Genetic cleansing.

For a moment, Rowan thought she would have to ask Kane to pull over so she could retch in the thick brush that lined the road.

She didn’t know much about it, but what she did know, she’d avoided thinking about her whole life. It was unfathomable—the thought of someone systematically stripping an animal out of a shifter.

Kane took a right by an old, lopsided metal mailbox that was stuffed full of mail, as if he hadn’t checked it in ages. He must not be checking it tonight either because he barely slowed for the turn onto the dark dirt road. He sped this way and that, expertly maneuvering his jacked-up Bronco around potholes she didn’t even see until the last second. He probably knew every pit and rock in this area. Kane downshifted, then rested his hand on her knee. “Stop worrying, Rowan. It’s over and done, and I’ve had half my lifetime to deal with this. It’s okay.”

“If it’s okay, then why won’t you tell me about it? Why won’t you tell me what happened?”

Kane shook his head hard and turned up the music. Rowan turned the volume back to zero. “How long did it take?”

Another warning rumble filled the Bronco, and Kane grabbed the chest of his shirt and cut off the sound.

“How long?”

“A year for me. The Darkness didn’t want to give up so it took twice the time.”

Fuck.
Fuck
! He’d named his dragon The Darkness? And it took a year to kill him?
A year
?

Rowan wrapped her arms around her middle and leaned forward, hoping it would help the pain in her stomach. Kane pulled to a stop in front of an old, rundown cabin. It was surrounded by mountains and forest, but located right in the middle of a clearing. The shutters were barely hanging on, and the roof was rotten. Moss grew from the shingles, making the roof look green and squishy. The front porch sagged dangerously, and the stairs had rotted right through, but there was one nice wooden chair near the door. That was where Rowan threw her focus because, right now, it felt like the world was spinning out of control.

“How did they do it?”

“Roe, we aren’t doing this. I’m not revisiting what was done. Please don’t ask that of me.”

Her face crumpled, and she held the back of her neck in her clammy hands just to cool herself down. “Was it that bad?”

Kane’s profile was stony, and his eyes held ghosts as he stared at the house bathed in the headlights. He looked exhausted, as if the mention of genetic cleansing had siphoned all his strength from him. “It was fine.”

Lie. It was a hollow lie. His voice gave him away.

Rowan wanted to cry for all he’d lost. She hated her dragon sometimes, wished she was human, but she hadn’t thought about losing her dragon like this. She hadn’t thought about the repercussions of someone actually ripping her animal away and killing it.

A year.

Rowan swallowed over and over, trying desperately not to get sick.

“Look, you should know why I brought you here,” Kane rumbled low.

“Okay,” she whispered.

“Two people have seen this place.”

“Who?”

“Alana came by when I first moved to town. She brought me this welcome basket of local honey and grilling utensils, barbecue rubs, shit like that. It was the first time I met her. And Wyatt came over one night, uninvited. He was drunk as hell and had just had his neck ripped open by a vampire he used to feed. I think he was desperate to just connect with someone.” Kane winced. “I’m not someone to connect with, though, so he never made it inside. I guess tonight…I guess I want someone to see me.” Kane turned his face toward her and locked that inhuman gaze on hers. “Someone I trust.”

Rowan glanced at a small black camera screwed to a tree out front, and another one on the front porch glinting off the headlights. Kane didn’t trust much, but he was letting her in.

“You asked earlier what I was doing near Saratoga.” Kane cut the engine and turned off the lights. He rested his head back against the seat and blew out a long breath. “I was visiting my mom and my brothers. My mom used to be scared of me, so I work hard to visit her and make sure she knows I love her. She’d been hurt by Marcus, and from day one, my dragon was a monster. A fire-breather that I had no control over. She didn’t know how to raise me. Didn’t know how to control The Darkness any more than I did. Right after my first Change, she moved us to a singlewide trailer close to Damon’s Mountains. It was her way of bullying The Darkness into submission. The threat of Damon putting me down kept the dragon in better control. She had Damon on speed dial. She swore she would call him and have him kill The Darkness. That she would have him kill
me
if I became like Marcus, and I understood. I wasn’t angry with her. I don’t think Damon even knew we lived near his territory when I was younger, or if he did, he didn’t ever show it. Didn’t visit or call or chase us away. He just…let me exist, even as the son of his mortal enemy. Even as the last of Marcus’s bloodline. Every Change, I dreaded that he would show up and bring the dragon’s fire that could kill me, but I didn’t want to leave because in a way, The Darkness respected Damon. He behaved as well as he was able so he wouldn’t draw the wrath of the blue dragon. Before you come inside my home, and before I share this part of myself with you, you should know something. You look at me and say I’m good, and you should understand before we go any further, that’s not the case. The Bloodrunners have the right of it. You
should
call me Dark Kane. The Darkness was taken from me by order of the courts. There was no choice, Rowan. You have a black mark on your record, but I was so much worse than you. I’m a killer.”

“Kane, war is different.”

“I killed an eighteen-year-old civilian kid before I ever joined the army.”

“Oh, my gosh.”

“He was a shit. Turned this girl I cared about into a black bear against her will, and The Darkness took revenge.”

Rowan frowned. Okay, that was different. That wasn’t murder. That was justice. “Well, good.”

Kane stared at her like she had two heads. “What?”

“Good, Kane. He would’ve been put down either way. That’s against shifter law. If you Turn someone against their will, it’s the alpha’s job to put them down. No second chances.”

Kane sat there frozen against his seat, staring at her with those flashing green eyes. Suddenly he sat forward and ran his hand down his face. “I’m sorry, what?”

“You carried out shifter law. Tough shit he was eighteen. Them’s the rules. Humans don’t get it, but they also don’t live by the same laws we do.”

Kane let off a huffed, humorless laugh. “You don’t understand. I
killed
him.”

“Because he killed that girl.”

“Roe, stop it. You shouldn’t just accept this and be okay with what I did.”

“Where is the girl now, Kane?” She could guess, but Kane wasn’t raised in a crew and obviously didn’t know the consequences of a forced Turning. “What happened to her?”

Kane’s Adam’s apple dipped low in his muscular throat as he swallowed. His eyes flashed with disgust before he said, “Her black bear never came under her control. She ran away from home, became a meth addict, probably trying to stunt the bear. I tried to help as soon as I got out of the army, but she didn’t want me to even look at her. Something was wrong with her. Something was broken by the time I got to her. She never registered with a crew, was ostracized from her family and her community, and five years ago, the police found her body, shotgun still in her hands.”

Roe’s heart physically hurt for the girl. “And what was her life before that boy took her humanity?”

Kane scratched the back of his head in irritation. “Straight-A student, popular, sweet, good family, good home, bright future. She was trying to get into Texas A&M University. It’s all she’d wanted.”

“When an animal is given to a human against their will, that animal is born into a body that hates it. It’s born to chaos. Nine times out of ten, the animal will destroy the human from the inside out. You should let go of the guilt of killing that asshole, Kane. You did what was supposed to be done.”

“Except it wasn’t me who did the killing, Roe. It was The Darkness. I wasn’t even there. I was pushed out. I don’t even remember what happened. Doesn’t matter if it was the
right thing to do
. The Darkness didn’t kill him out of some sense of heroic duty. He did it because he liked the kill.”

“Bullshit.”

“You don’t know.”

“I know better than you think! I have a dragon too, remember? I know how it is.”

“You’re a Bloodrunner.”

“So?”

“So, you’re good and light and your dragon has a moral compass. I’m the son of Marcus, Rowan. His flesh and blood
son
, conceived against my mother’s will. The Darkness was an extension of him. I miss the dragon so fucking much I can’t breathe sometimes. I miss flying. I miss breathing fire and eating ash. I dream of him. Dream of when my body made sense. Dream of when I wasn’t empty. But my dragon wasn’t a Bloodrunner like yours. He wasn’t the good guy. The Darkness is in the grave where he belongs.”

“Don’t say that.”

Kane made a frustrated ticking sound behind his teeth and shoved his door open, hopped out, and slammed the door behind him. She thought he was pissed at her, but he strode around the front and opened her door, averted his gaze, and held his hand out to help her down.

“Hey.” Rowan cupped his cheeks, but he wouldn’t look at her. She pushed on anyway because he should hear this. He should understand it. “The Darkness isn’t dead, Kane. How can he be when you have his eyes? His strength? His voice?”

His lips twisted up in a cruel smile, and he jerked his head out of her hands. “These eyes are frozen into my face for a reason, Bloodrunner. They’re the vacant, staring eyes of the animal that died inside of me. The Darkness isn’t there anymore, Roe. I don’t feel him anywhere. You can’t save him. Can’t resuscitate him. You have to be okay with this.” Kane gestured to his body. “You get the shell or nothing at all.”

She hated the way he said that. Kane wasn’t a shell. He was warmth and understanding. He had been kind to her when she lost her treasure. He was complicated and real, and he made her heart beat faster in her chest when she was near him. He was good at his core but dangerous to anyone who threatened him. He was a beastly badass who didn’t back down, but he turned gentle to her touch. He made her feel safe.

Silly man didn’t see his worth like she did.

Dragon or no, he was the most interesting, seductive, alluring man she’d ever met. And now after hearing all that he’d survived—genetic cleansing, heavy guilt, war, and loss of his leg—he was also the strongest man she’d ever met. Here he was, still fighting, still surviving where others would’ve given up. He could’ve been like the girl Turned against her will who never came out of the tragedy, but Kane had locked his legs against the storm and absorbed blow after blow, became stronger for it, not beaten down.

He didn’t realize it yet, but somewhere along the way, Kane had become the storm.

He’d become unbreakable, and a little terrifying.

Rowan was at the very beginning of her journey to find her strength, but Kane was already there. He had become stronger and harder until he was bulletproof. Until he had no urge to back down from a fight with anyone, anywhere. She’d seen it twice now—in the diner in Asheville and in the River’s Edge tonight. She’d watched Kane’s eyes go vacant and his lips twist into a wicked smile that said,
I fucking dare you to hit me
. Even without his dragon, Kane was a dominant, brawling beast of a man. He’d paused outside the door to gather himself, but didn’t back down an inch when Weston came at him tonight. She loved that about him. She loved how complicated he was. How he could brush a light touch on her lower back, yet be so battle-ready in an instant.

Kane had fought for his life here, had been battling in the shadows for years, never complaining, never begging help, just surviving. The more she learned about him, the more he felt like hers. Like he was meant to be in her life. Meant to inspire her to be better, stronger, braver.

And her job in his? She was going to soften his heart just enough so that he would let her in. Kane was her match.

Sexy, dominant, lethal man with the power of a dragon.

Kane was watching her with that dangerous smile of his. The one where only the very corners of his lips curved up, and his eyes flashed with a shocking intensity that made her sex pulse between her thighs. His hair had fallen forward, and his fists were clenched, making his arm muscles bulge. As though he could feel the sexual charge that hung in the air between them, he dragged his hungry gaze slowly down her body, and wherever his attention hesitated, there was fire. Her breath came in pants now, and her dragon scratched at her skin, writhing to touch their mate. Pleading to ride him, to bite him. To claim him. Dragon or no, Kane was theirs.

How did she know? Because something deep within him was calling to her. It had been since the moment she’d locked eyes with him at the airport.

Kane’s nostrils flared delicately, as if he was scenting her, and she could smell it, too. Her desire was clouding the air now.