Blackwing Dragon (Harper's Mountains 5) (11 page)

“Kane, I’m serious. I’ll follow you.”

He gave her a wicked grin. “Don’t tempt me.”

She thought about the women he’d fucked in bathrooms and wanted to kick both of his shins and maybe his chode, too. “You don’t tempt
me
, Kane. I brought sanitary wipes in my purse.”

He clipped out a surprised laugh and dragged his fingertips down her thighs. “Sanitary wipes?”

“Yeah, I’m not fucking in a germy bathroom.”

Kane laughed a little harder and stopped struggling away from her grasp. “So, let me get this straight. You aren’t opposed to fucking in a bathroom, but only if you wipe it down first?”

“If it erases those other women from your mind,” she gritted out.

Kane smoothed his hair out of his face and looked around at the others like he was making sure they weren’t listening. “Are you jealous of those girls? I never even saw them again.”

Rowan crossed her arms over her chest and ducked his gaze. Why was she so angry right now? It was hard to even see straight. “I don’t get jealous.”

“Lie.”

“Oh, you don’t have a dragon, but you can hear lies?”

The smile dipped from Kane’s lips. He disconnected his touch from her, leaned his elbows on the bar, gave his attention to the television on the wall by the glass case of bourbon.

Remorse surged through her, chasing the fury out of her veins. “Hey,” she whispered, rubbing her hand up his tensed back. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t keep bringing that up.”

“You really shouldn’t,” Kane said, giving her a fiery look. His eyes looked even brighter now, but maybe it was the lighting. “It sucks to think about.”

“Is that why you don’t like hanging out with shifters?”

He huffed a humorless breath and forked a piece of fish, then pushed it around the plate like he’d lost his appetite. “Shifter or human, it doesn’t matter. I don’t belong with either.”

And she could see his point. If he hung out with humans, he had to hide his eyes and his strength. It wasn’t something they would ever get used to. If he hung out with shifters, he had to hear them talking about their animals openly, and he’d lost his somehow.

Kane was stuck between two worlds, all alone.

Rowan buried her face against his side and hugged his waist tight. “You belong with me.” She murmured it against his ribs so she wouldn’t see the rejection in his eyes.

He didn’t say anything back, but he did sigh and let his arm rest around her shoulders.

Kane left his arm there, allowed her to hug his side as he talked to the others. Little by little, he loosened up and started laughing and chatting with Wyatt, Ryder, and Aaron. The boys kept throwing her strange glances, but she didn’t care if she was clinging to Kane like a rock oyster on an ocean boulder. She felt good touching him, and after the last few days of fear and uncertainty, she was holding on to this feeling of safety. She was going to cling to Kane as long as he allowed it.

The next hour passed in a blur of laughter and chaos as they ate and ordered drinks with the Bloodrunners. All but Harper, who was drinking water like it was going out of style. Little baby dragon sure made her thirsty lately.

Weston had been hanging back, cuddling Avery, but watching Rowan and Kane. She didn’t miss it. His wary frown had drifted to them time and time again.

Weston made his way to Kane, then shook his hand hard, pulled him in and clapped him on the back once. Rowan didn’t like that he’d sidled between her and Kane to talk to him, but Avery was talking to her, asking what she’d done for work before she’d come to Harper’s Mountains, and Rowan didn’t want to be rude. She chatted with Avery readily enough, but her ears and her attention were focused on Weston. Mostly because he was being a doucheball.

“Man, it’s not my place to say who you hang out with,” he told Kane, “but I have to tell you, I don’t like this.” He lowered his voice. “Rowan’s been through hell. She’s finally out of Damon’s Mountains, and I get this bad feeling you will chase her right back there.”

“You’re right, Wes,” Kane said in a low rumble. He blinked slowly and leveled him a fierce look. “It’s not your place.”

“Yeah,” Weston said, his voice turning rough and pissed. “Except I had this little dream of Rowan, and in it, she was surrounded by fire, and she was crying. And now it’s making a lot of damn sense seeing you here with her. ’Scuse me if I want my friend to survive you, Dark Kane.”

She didn’t like that everyone called him Dark Kane, and a low rumble vibrated up Rowan’s throat. Dragon hated it, too.

“Not my fire,” Kane said. “Rowan’s safe from me.”

“Doesn’t feel like it, man.”

“Weston,” Rowan ground out. “That’s enough.”

“Did you tell him what happened yet?”

“Wes, stop.”

“But Roe—”

“You want to get out of here?” she asked Kane quickly. She needed to get away from Weston and his annoying judgements. Away from him and his secrets he seemed so excited to expose, the dick.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Kane said, throwing down money for their food and drinks.

He stood to his full height and clapped Weston on the shoulder. He gave a lethal smile and said, “Don’t worry,
Novak
. I’ll get her home safely. You don’t have to wait up.”

Weston lurched forward but Wyatt was there, holding him back. “What the fuck is wrong with you, man?” Wyatt had a death grip on his shirt, shoving him backward, but Kane hadn’t moved, as if welcoming another fight.

Rowan stood between them and urged Kane toward the door. “We’ll talk about this later, Wes,” she said through a disapproving frown.

“Rowan, I think you should go back home.”

“And I think you should mind your own business,” she snapped as Kane pulled from her grasp and walked away. “I don’t need you to make decisions for me.”

“And how many times did I save your ass in the Gray Backs?” he asked. “Huh? How many, Roe? How many times did I point out your bad decisions before you made them? How many times was I right?”

“I’m not that kid anymore, Wes! You’ve grown. You found a life outside of the mountains, away from me. You found a mate, and you found your place. Well, I grew up, too. Let me find my place now.”

Weston shook his head and gritted his teeth. “Not with him, Roe. I have this awful feeling…I can’t explain it. Just…don’t pick Dark Kane.”

“Stop calling him that.” Rowan shook her head sadly, so disappointed in him. “You don’t know him.”

“I do.”

“Not like I do. You’re being an asshole, Wes. Rein it in.”

She spun on her heel and strode for the door.

Wes was entitled to his opinion. Hell, all the Bloodrunners were because they were her friends and allowed to worry. But she didn’t have to listen to their advice, and especially not advice that was meant to sting.

Wes was wrong, and her instincts were different now.

Kane wasn’t bad for her. He made her happy. He made her forget about her lost treasure and about the nosebleeds. He made her forget about her homesickness.

Anyone who made her this happy couldn’t be bad for her.

Kane was outside of the River’s Edge, his sexy butt hanging out the passenger’s side of his Bronco as he dug around for something.

“You okay?” she asked, wringing her hands. Tonight had been almost perfect, and then Weston had to go and get all big-brother-overprotective.

“I’m fine,” Kane gritted out. He shoved off the seat and Rowan’s heart dropped to the dirt parking lot when she saw what he’d found. His sunglasses were back in place.

“Kane, I don’t want you hiding from me.”

“I’m not hiding, Rowan. I shouldn’t have taken them off in the first place. I think you should go back in there with your crew.”

“They are my friends, Kane. Not my crew. I’m a Gray Back.”

“And I’m nothing!” When Kane took a step back, his back hit the side of the Bronco so hard the truck rocked. “Fuck.” Kane bit his lip and stared across the road at the ivy-covered mountain that protruded from the earth. “Wes is right.”

“That’s great, Kane.”

“Roe, he saw fire, and he has a bad feeling about me—”

“You said you don’t have the fire.”

“But what if I somehow put you in danger? What if I bring on Damon’s wrath, or piss off some other fire-breather we don’t know about, or I don’t know! My life isn’t easy. I have people wanting to fight all the damn time, Rowan. I’m a rogue. Shifters and vamps can sense I’m weak. They just can’t figure out why. So they fight. It’s instinct. I’m a target, and Wes has some magic mojo shit that helps him see the future, and we should take it seriously. I’m not meant to be with someone. I’m not meant to be with you. I’ll hurt you.”

“You’re being mean again.”

“I’m not.”

“You are. You say I’m a dragon and question why I’m afraid of everything, but then you sit here and tell me I should be afraid? That you’re some threat to me? Have I ever called you Dark Kane?”

Kane ran the edge of his thumbnail over and over the scruff on his chin. He sighed an irritated breath and leveled her with a look.

Rowan repeated louder, “Have I?”

“No.”

“Because you aren’t Dark Kane to me. Push the world away all you want to, but it won’t scare me off. It’ll make me hold on tighter.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m a dragon,” she murmured. “We’re a loyal bunch.”

Kane crossed his arms, splayed his legs on the gravel, and leaned hard against his Bronco. “What did Wes mean in there? What happened to you? What did he protect you from?”

“Nope,” she said, using his word to cut off the conversation.

“Roe.”

Dang him using her friend name so she got all mushy and wanted to say yes to him. “Wes grew up with sisters, got all protective, and we were in the same crew, so he lumped me in with them. Thought he had to save me from every damn thing.” She swallowed hard and kicked a rock. “Except some things he couldn’t protect me from. I think he blames himself, but he takes it out on me.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, he tried to stop something, and I messed up. He carries a lot of guilt over it. So he reminds me about the bad decision because that’s how he is. He’s angry I didn’t listen to him, and to mask his own guilt over it happening, he gives me shit.”

“Come on, princess,” he murmured, limping past her.

“Where are we going?”

“I need to sober up before I drive you home, and I can’t stand still when we talk like this. It makes me feel like I’m busting up inside. Let’s go on a walk.”

“Oh.” She followed directly. “You know, for a second there, I thought you were gonna lead me around the side of the building.”

Kane snorted and tossed her a look. “You really want me to fuck you in an alley?”

“It would be
so
romantic.”

At least he was smiling again, so there was that. Rowan yanked the sunglasses off his face fast.

“Give them back,” Kane said, reaching for them.

Rowan danced away and put them in her hair like a headband. “I’m about to confess my deepest darkest secrets to you, Blackwing. I’m not doing it while you hide from me.”

“I already told you I’m not hiding.”

“Bullshit, and you can do it with everyone else, fine. Not with me though. We’re friends on social media now. It’s getting serious.”

Kane huffed an annoyed sound. “I’m deleting that account as soon as I get home.”

“If I tell you why I got trapped in Damon’s Mountains, will you tell me what happened to your dragon?”

“Nope.” Kane cast her a quick, glowing-eyed glance, and then bumped her shoulder gently as they strode side by side over a wide bridge toward the outdoor excursion center. “I’ll tell you someday, but not tonight. It’s not something I’ve ever talked about, and I need to think on it first. It’ll…it’ll hurt to say it out loud.”

“Hurt me or you?”

“Both, and I want you to like me for a little while longer. I like the way you look at me. Like I’m good.”

Rowan slipped her hand into his and squeezed. “You are good.”

Kane’s smile was completely gone now, and he looked a little sick in the glowing lamp lights of the outdoor center. He shocked her to her bones by lifting her knuckles to his lips. They were soft against her skin, and hot like fire.

The night was quiet other than the wind in the rustling tree branches and the gentle rush of the river rapids below them. There was a bite in the air, and the soft hum of music from the River’s Edge drifted to her on the breeze.

“My parents are really in love,” she said as they stepped off the bridge and onto a stony bank of the river.

“That’s good.”

“My dad actually taught me how to swim instead of taking me to lessons like the other kids in my crew, and I remember my mom would watch our lessons with this proud smile on her face.” Rowan kicked out of her flip flops and waded into the lapping shallows. “I grew up thinking her proud smile was for me. For how well I was catching on. But I overheard them one night, up late after I’d gone to bed, and my dad was talking to my mom about the night his mother drowned him in a bathtub.”

“Jesus,” Kane whispered. He kicked out of his shoes and socks, then waded in beside her.

“My dad barely survived, and from then on, he was terrified of water. He told her about how he’d tried to Change when his mom was drowning him, but he was so scared he couldn’t call on his grizzly. And she succeeded. He blacked out. Died for a while maybe, I don’t know, but she left him there floating in this deep claw foot bathtub while she turned off the lights and went to sleep like she hadn’t just murdered her child. And I remember sitting in the hallway, knees drawn up to my chest, just…sobbing silently because I couldn’t believe someone had done that to my daddy. And I couldn’t believe he had gotten brave enough to learn to swim and then teach it to me. I also swore if anyone ever tried to do that to me, or to someone I love, I would never be too scared to Change. I made this pact with my dragon that we would protect each other and the ones we loved always. No matter what.”

“How old were you?”

“Ten. Maybe eleven.” Rowan puffed air out her cheeks and sat down on the clattering pebbles of the beach, her feet in the waves. Her butt was getting wet, but that was okay. Kane sat beside her, so close his arm brushed hers. So close she could feel his warmth, and it made her braver. “I fell in love with an older boy when I was really young. A kid still. Thirteen and he was sixteen. I had grown up watching my mom and dad, Willa and Matt, and Jason and Georgia. I’d watched Beaston and Aviana and their legendary love stories, and I was convinced I’d found my other half. His name was Byron and he lived down in Saratoga. Tall, mature, older, cute. He said all the right things, and I gave him my virginity way too early. Way too young, and it blinded me to the warning signs. I lived without regrets, convinced no one could ever fuck with me because I was a dragon. Wes saw lots of warning signs. He didn’t like him, and neither did my parents, but that made me rebellious, you know? It made me like Byron more. He got me.” She rolled her eyes at how stupid she’d been. “He asked a lot of questions about Damon. Too many questions, but we were in love and I didn’t want to deny him, accuse him, or suspect him of anything bad. We had been dating for a few months when he asked me to catch a ride and meet him down at the library in Saratoga to study. I was grounded from him, my parents had even taken away my cell phone, and I was mad at the world. I thought they were just trying to keep my away from my true mate. But they were completely right, and I was completely wrong.”

“What happened?”

“He and a five-man team kidnapped me, drugged me, and drove me six hours away from Damon’s Mountains. I was in love with Byron, and he was ransoming me to Damon. I don’t even think Byron was his real name, but I don’t know what else to call him. I don’t think he was really sixteen either, but just looked young.”

“The police didn’t find him.”

A flash of fire blew across her mind, and her stomach curdled. “The police never caught wind of it.”

“Did they…” Kane swallowed audibly gave his attention across the river. “Did they hurt you?”

“Not like that. They didn’t want me for that reason. It was for money, but I didn’t know that at the time. They’d given me something to make me woozy. I remember flashes, you know? A dark room, handcuffs chaffing my wrists. A half empty water bottle. Them talking on the phone. Them putting the phone to my ear and telling me to, ‘Say goodbye.’ That was proof of life. I was shaking so bad and crying, then Damon’s voice came over the line, ‘Baby, are you all right?’ But I wasn’t. I wasn’t okay. My dragon and I had broken our promise to each other. I was too scared to Change, and I knew exactly how my dad had felt when he was being drowned. I reached so hard, but I couldn’t find her. My dragon was letting me down, I was letting her down, and something broke inside of me. The men wore ski masks in front of me, and they talked into the phone, told Damon they would kill me if he didn’t follow their instructions and get them a ridiculous amount of money. Byron told me to scream, and when I spat at him, he hit me over and over. He wanted to scare Damon, but I held off. I wanted to be brave and keep the pain to myself so it wouldn’t hurt my great grandfather, and eventually Byron switched tactics. He pulled out a knife and cut my hand. Cut it deep, and I gave him my voice. Another piece of me that he stole. I let him draw a scream from me, and I could hear Damon yelling across the phone, begging them to stop. He told me to Change and burn them to oblivion, and I couldn’t. He called me Dragon, but she wasn’t there, so I couldn’t Change. I couldn’t defend myself. I was shattering instead.” She unclenched her fist and held her palm flat for Kane to see the silver, raised line on her skin.

He traced it with his fingertip, then brought it to his lips and lingered a kiss there. Rowan smiled, but the movement dislodged the two tears that had built up in her eyes. “The second day, the Gray Backs, the Ashe Crew, and the Boarlanders came for me. Damon came for me. Beaston had tracked me down, and I remember the roaring of the bears, then gunfire. Just…round after round, and I thought my people were getting hurt. I struggled against the handcuffs so hard, screaming for my dragon to come out of me so I could save them. Byron was guarding me, this automatic weapon trained at the door, but my dad, this massive pitch black grizzly, didn’t use the door. He came barreling into the side of the cabin like a hurricane and ripped Byron limb from limb in front of me. It wasn’t a clean kill, and I was horrified, just…so scared of what was happening. I kicked the pipe I was handcuffed to over and over until it busted. And then I ran out of the hole my dad had made. And all around was war. Guns and animals, and I stood in the middle of this killing field as Damon’s blue dragon eclipsed the sun and blew fire at the men around me. He didn’t know I was there. I could see the flames coming, and dragon’s fire would kill me. Still, my dragon was quiet. My dad hit me from the side like a wrecking ball, and in an instant, we were under this old metal sign. You know the old thick ones that hang in vintage bars and country restaurants? My dad used it as a shield, but it wasn’t big enough to cover him, and he was burned badly. Just a few seconds of blinding heat, and it was done. My dad was hurt because of me. I stared in horror as Damon devoured the ashes of my kidnappers.” Rowan dared a glance at Kane as tears streaked down her cheeks. “Humans took me for money, and they shot at my people, they hurt my people, and it was my fault for trusting them.”

“So you stayed in Damon’s Mountains?”

She drew her knees up and rested her cheek on them, nodded slowly.

“That’s why you said you never felt safe enough to leave?”

Another nod because her throat was too tight after those mortifying admissions. “You got angry with me for wishing I was human, but my dragon got me taken, then she abandoned me when I needed her, and my people got hurt. My dad got hurt. A big part of me is still mad at her. A big part of me still doesn’t trust her to come through for me if I ever need her like that again.”

Kane pulled Rowan close and laid down, easing her down beside him. He held her tight against his side and pressed his lips against her forehead. Softly, barely loud enough to be heard over the breeze, Kane told her, “She’ll come through for you, Bloodrunner. They drugged you, and they scared you, but they didn’t break you.”