Blind Ambition (16 page)

And she’d begged him to stay and help her, putting the life of the children above her own.

Jesus, he was fucking mooning over her. He stood and gestured to the plate he’d prepared. “Sorry I don’t have a nicer spread. I wasn’t expecting us to stick around this long.”

She nodded and pushed a strand of hair behind her ears. It was starting to curl on the ends as it dried. “It’s perfect. I didn’t realize how hungry I was.” She scooted behind the dinette table and put the paper napkin he’d provided on her lap.

“Kurt’s working to get a plane at the airfield within a few hours. The biggest challenge will be getting the kids from the compound to the airstrip.”

And that was assuming he could take out the guards inside without alerting the rest of the goons.

“If we could count on them sticking with their original plan, it would be so much easier. We could land our own plane at the airfield and let them deliver the kids right to us,” she said.
 

“Unfortunately, we can’t count on it.” If only. “And even if that worked, we’d have to disable their plane and pilot and fight with the guys hauling the children.”

“Yeah.” She sighed and took a bite of her sandwich.

While she ate, he returned topside to check their course and look for threats. He also didn’t want to leave the helm unattended for too long and risk hitting another vessel. Satisfied that all was clear for the moment, he went below decks to get the satellite phone he’d accidentally left sitting on the counter.

Alexa had finished her food and was slumped at the table, resting her head on her arms.

“Alexa?”

She didn’t stir, so he gently slid her from behind the table and carried her to the stateroom, mounting the steps sideways to lay her on the blue-and-white-striped comforter of the queen bed. He folded the other half of the covers over her and fled to the upper deck before he got any stupid ideas about joining her.

Alexa awoke to the sounds of water slapping the hull of the softly swaying yacht. Moonlight shone through the portholes, lighting the striped duvet folded over her body. Her mind went immediately to Flore and the other children. She hated leaving them with Nillin and his men for even a minute. The wait to take action was excruciating.

For the first time in what seemed like days, she was warm. Too warm. The heat added to her restlessness.

The last thing she remembered was laying her head on the table. Her skin tingled at the thought of Dan carrying her to bed.

She sat up, removed the covers, and checked the clock in the galley. It was nearly ten, so she hadn’t slept more than an hour. Slipping out of the bed, she looked through the window. They were docked at a marina that she guessed was in St. Lucia since there were actually other boats around.

Before going upstairs, she used the head and washed her face. In the mirror, her purple bruises looked even worse than before, but they were in stiff competition with her hair. It had partially dried while she slept and now stuck out in all directions.

The toiletry kit on the small counter included a ponytail holder which she quickly put to good use.
Thank you, Tara, whoever you are.
Then she went up on deck.

Dan sat at the helm, lit only by a small lamp and the dock lights. He wore a fresh but wrinkled T-shirt and cargo pants paired with running shoes, and he bent over a map, his face intense. Until he glanced up at her. “Hey,” he said. “I thought you’d sleep longer.”

She shrugged, the moist air soft and thick on her skin. “I need to do something.”

He straightened and faced her, his outdoor-fresh scent wrapping around her like a cloak. “Kurt has a plane lined up, as well as two more guys to help with the raid. They’ll come out to the marina when they get here. He’s also trying to round up a van or something. Things are moving forward, but there’s nothing to do for a couple of hours.”

Their gazes locked and her throat went dry. She could think of one thing they could do to pass the time. She craved the heat and taste of him, and the passion that lurked beneath his calm exterior. But she also knew they’d both be hurt again if they gave in to this attraction.

She nodded and broke eye contact. “I know, I’m just having trouble being patient.” Images of Flore, listless and pale, kept invading her mind, and she wished once again for Dan’s sweet distraction.

“Tell me something,” he said, leaning his back against the captain’s chair and crossing his arms.

She gripped her elbows as the breeze sent goose bumps rippling along her skin. “What?”

“Why’d you become a nurse?”

Thank you.
She’d happily go along with his distraction. Up to a point. Staring out over the dark ocean at the glittering waves, she let the strains of steel drums from shore wash over her. “The same as anyone, I guess. To help people.”

She lifted a sore shoulder, not sure she could fully articulate her reasons. “My dad wanted me to major in business and then go to law school.” A path she would have hated
.
“But I never wanted to work for Palaimon like my brother Thad.”

“Why?” Dan prompted.

A heavy weight settled on her chest, but she pushed on. After all they’d been through, she wanted him to know something important about her. Something genuine. “My twin sister Despina committed suicide when we were fifteen. Slit her wrists in the bathtub. I found her, but I was too late.” Alexa’s throat tightened. “She’d lost too much blood and she just… She died in my arms while I waited for the ambulance and I couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it.”
And it was my fault.

She tried to hold back the tears, but several escaped and rolled down her cheeks.
 

“
Jesus
, Lys.” Dan pulled her into his warm embrace. “I’m sorry.” He stroked her head and held her tight, his large hands soothing away the pain. “I had no idea.”

Of course he didn’t. She hadn’t talked about her sister in years. She hardly allowed herself to think about Des, except to remind herself why her work had to take precedence over a long-term relationship. And yet here she was in Dan’s embrace.

She wanted to sink into his body and never leave.

Instead, she pulled away and wiped her eyes, taking a deep, shuddering breath to regain her balance. “I thought if I became a nurse, if I could help others who were hurt… I don’t know, I guess I thought it might make up for Des. That I would never have to feel that helpless again.”

He nodded and looked at his hands. “But we can’t save everyone, no matter how much training we have.” His expression darkened and he looked past her toward the beach.

She put her hand on his biceps and rubbed the impressive muscle with her thumb. “Who did you lose?” she asked softly.

His gaze met hers, hazel eyes full of pain. “My little sister was the first. Leukemia,” he said, his voice rough. “She was nine, I was twelve.”

She inhaled sharply. “Oh, no.” Had they ever talked about anything truly significant, or had they merely kissed and joked and made love as much as possible?

The latter. It was supposed to have been a fling and she’d deliberately kept things light, not wanting to ask him questions that would encourage him to pry into her own secrets.

“Olszewski was the last.” His tone was flat now. Like he’d turned off his emotions the way one turned off a faucet. She wished she knew that trick. “IED in Afghanistan three months ago. Part of that whole Claymore clusterfuck I mentioned earlier.”

He stepped away from her touch and looked out over the stern, gripping the back of the rear-facing bench. “All I could do was give him morphine and hold his insides together while he bled out.”

Alexa covered her mouth.
Oh, God.
She knew down to her soul what that did to a person. The utter impotence of watching someone you cared about fade away like smoke in the wind.

She started toward him, but he faced her, his jaw hard. “There have been too many others in between.” He held out his hands, palms up. “All on me.”

“Could you have done anything more to save them?” she asked, grasping his shoulders.
 

He stared at her for a moment, his muscles hard knots of steel beneath her fingers. “No,” he whispered.

“Then they were lucky to have you there at the end. To know that they didn’t die alone.” She swallowed to ease her tight throat. “That someone cared.” Being with Despina at the end was the only thing she’d done right.

His gaze strayed over her shoulder, unfocused, as if he were looking back in time. “Maybe.”

“Definitely,” she said, her voice firm. She wanted to shake him. “And I know you’ve helped more people than you’ve lost. I’ve seen you in action, remember?” Somehow she needed him to understand how amazing he was, how important. “You can’t keep score like a football game. All you can do is keep showing up and doing your best. That’s it. Every day. And you do, Dan. You always do.”

He looked at her then, rested his forearms on her shoulders and cradled her head in his large palms, caressing above her ears with his thumbs. A little shiver ran through her as he watched her with those beautiful eyes as if trying to figure her out.

Then he kissed her.

Not just a quick meeting of the lips. This was a kiss for the ages. A kiss to sustain her for the rest of her life. A devouring kiss that awakened every cell in her body and aligned them all toward Dan.

God, she had missed him so much. Missed his lips, his masterful tongue, his warm, solid body against hers. She curled her arms around his neck and kissed him back with everything she had.

He was more than she deserved, and all she had ever wanted. She couldn’t have him forever but she wanted, needed this moment. Needed something good when the world around her was crumbling. Needed one more time with him to hold within her heart and bring out on the dark, lonely nights that were sure to come later.

She abandoned herself to his kiss, her heart stuttering as his hands roamed along her collarbone and down over her breasts. A hum of delight escaped as she arched into his touch.

Dan broke away and trailed his mouth down her neck and along the edge of her shirt. “Lys…” He gently pressed her breasts together and up, tugging the shirt lower with his thumbs, tracing patterns on her bared flesh with the tip of his tongue.

Heat shot through her veins like a drug, making her nearly delirious. She swiveled her hips, rubbing against his growing erection until he groaned.

He raised his head and caught her gaze, his eyes liquid with desire. His broad chest rose and fell with quick, shallow breaths. “If you don’t want this,” he said, “please tell me now.”

“I want this.” She pressed her palms to his freshly shaven jaw. “I want you.”

Time hung between them for a second before he gestured toward the hatch that led below decks. “Downstairs.”

DAN WANTED TO INHALE ALEXA. He wanted to put his mouth on every inch of her, taste her, touch her,
own
her. At the bottom of the steps, she turned to face him and he hoisted her onto his hips, wrapping her legs around his waist. She rubbed herself against him and he nipped at her neck until she squirmed deliciously.

Some small part of his brain sent up a warning, but he ignored it. He knew what he was doing. Knew that he was running headlong toward another crushing hurt, but he no longer cared.

If he could only have her for tonight, he’d take it.

She had known exactly what to say to ease his pain, and for a moment he felt understood in a way he never had before.
She gets me
. And with her words and touches, he couldn’t help but think maybe she had been telling the truth earlier. Maybe it really wasn’t about him.

Maybe her reasons for leaving him three years ago really had been all about her.

He was a sucker for letting in even a sliver of hope that he could change her mind about them, but hope he did. And even if she walked away again—

No
. He was going to live in the now.

Right here, striding through the dim cabin with her clinging to him, was exactly where he wanted to be.

He stopped at the foot of the raised mattress and sat her on the edge, gently unwrapping her legs and letting them fall to his side. He reached back and whipped his shirt over his head.

Hers went next, but slowly, as he peeled it up to reveal her glowing skin one inch at a time in the shadowy light from the marina that entered through the portholes. The pace was torture, but he wanted to savor, not rush.

He feathered his fingers over the dark bruises that marred her ribs and hip, and shoved aside the anger at the men who’d hurt her. He’d take care of those assholes later. Right now, he stared, trying to catch his breath, awestruck by her presence.

Damn, she was beautiful.

Her brows lowered and she crossed her arms over her chest. “What’s wrong?”

He shook his head and tugged at her hands. “Not a goddamned thing.” Holding her arms wide as her face flushed, he asked, “Don’t you know how gorgeous you are?”

She frowned. “I’m a mess—”

His kiss cut off her denial and he silenced her with enthusiasm. She responded instantly, their tongues engaged in sensual battle. He filled his palms with the soft weight of her breasts, caressing and teasing, dipping his fingers beneath the satiny fabric that bound them.

Deep in the cup of the bra, he brushed against something hard and smooth. He pulled back and looked at her. “What’s that?”

Alexa stilled and clasped her hand over the object. “A locket. It belonged to my sister.” She slid a finger into the bra and removed an oval pendant about an inch long, inscribed with a flowery letter D. “Gold attracts the wrong kind of attention, so I keep it hidden when I’m working for Hygiea.” She made a fist around the shiny pendant and then leaned forward to set it gently on the nightstand.

When she sat back up, he met her gaze. Did she still want to be here, or was the moment lost? “What other treasures do you have in there?” he asked, skimming his fingers across the top of the bra.

She gave him a sexy smile and arched her back, offering herself up to him. “There’s only one way to find out.”

Hell, yeah.
An hour ago he wouldn’t have imagined he’d get to touch the lingerie again, let alone remove it from her. Now it was time to do just that. He reached behind her and released the clasp before sliding the straps down her arms. Then he dipped his head for a taste, cupping both breasts as he alternated his attention between them, unable to choose.