Blinding Light (The Bloodmarked Trilogy Book 2) (11 page)

All of this beauty unfolded before me, and the only thing on my mind was that I was seeing it alone. It didn’t seem to have quite the same luster without having him here to share it with.

Not wanting to dwell on my bruised heart, I grew weary from the events of the past two days. The mounds of down and fluff called to me, and it wasn’t long before I succumbed.

After a rejuvenating night’s sleep, in what I could only describe as the softest bed ever touched by vampire super senses, I was much less irritable. I couldn’t even discern individual threads. It was like sleeping on a seamless blanket of silken flower petals. Absolutely amazing.

So far, I would rate the accommodations at five stars. After showering in the massive en suite with multiple showerheads, however, I tacked on an extra half star. The cavernous walk-in closet was brimming with multiple styles of clothing, all in my size. That wasn’t creepy or anything. How in the hell did they know my size?

Normally, a brand new wardrobe wouldn’t warrant a happy dance, but after going days without clean clothes I almost broke down in tears when I came to the drawer filled with yoga pants. I was ready to hug the first person I saw after opening a drawer dedicated solely to t-shirts.

Maybe I could learn to cope with my newfound reclusive existence. Maybe. The ever-present urge to kill something could only be kept at bay for so long. Eventually, I would lose my mind and scour this entire country for the nearest vampire to maim.

Day one at vampire boot camp turned out to be brief and a little pointless. I planned to start day two with an open mind and mentally prepared myself for the onslaught of impending introductions and curious but cautious stares.

After roaming the halls and making a quick stop to the blood bank, where I greeted a very preoccupied Chef Eric, I followed my ears to the noisiest part of the house.

Everyone was gathered in the common lounge between the game room and library. It was much the same as the great room, only smaller, and it had a large table situated on one end of the room. On the wall closest to it was a bank of cubicles that reminded me of study areas in a school library. Each one housed a laptop. The rest of the room was filled with couches and chairs. Several people lounged around, the smell of coffee hanging in the air. No one really noticed my approach until I stopped at the table.

“Hey, morning sunshine!” It was Nick who greeted me, bounding off the chair like an excited puppy. “Welcome,” he added, coming to a stop in front of me.

I forced myself to plaster on my brightest smile and play nice. “Hi,” I replied quietly. Following my hasty exit last night, I was wary of how I would be received today.

“I’m really the only one that matters, but I’ll introduce you to the others since I monopolized you yesterday. I can’t help myself around a pretty girl, I guess.” He winked like he was sharing an inside joke.

Please let the others be less annoying than this guy. We approached the others, and Nick gestured for me to sit down on the couch next to him. I stayed standing. “Everyone, this is my girl, Lucy. Lucy, this is everyone.”

“Hardly you girl,” Brody mumbled under his breath. Nick responded by throwing a decorative pillow at Brody’s head, causing everyone to erupt in light laughter.

The first brave soul approached shyly. He had black hair and chocolate brown eyes that were slightly upturned. “Hi, I’m Lee.” I shook his hand as gently as I could.

“Nice to meet you, Lee. I’m Lucy.”

I met several people as I went around the room. There was a redheaded girl named Carly, another girl named Maria, a boy with glasses and shaggy blond hair named Darren, and as I made my way through the circle, I noticed there were less in attendance than last night.

“How many of you are there here?” I asked.

Surprisingly, Lee beat Nick to the answer. “There are 22 active Keepers here, but it’s rare to find us all together at any given time. Right now, there are a few people in the training rooms, and some are in the library gathering as much information on the First as they can. Others are in the dining hall eating, and some just came off their night guard and crashed not long ago.”

Two words piqued my interest. “Night guard?” I asked, hopeful I might actually see some action.

“Yeah, we have people assigned to watch for any vampire activity. It’s pretty boring, though. We haven’t seen much excitement around these parts.”

Damn. There went my sanity.

“Lucy, there you are. How did you sleep?” Helen came through the door in her understated corporate attire.

I was beginning to think the flannel and jeans at her apartment were an act of false camaraderie, a way to relate to me on my level in order to gain trust. I still couldn’t get an accurate read on this woman. Suspicion tiptoed around inside me. When it started tap-dancing, my claws would come out. Until then, I’d write it off as my very own special concoction of paranoia and distrust.

“It was the best night’s sleep a dead woman can get,” I replied cheerily.

Her stone face never cracked once. “I’m glad to hear that. Are you ready to get started?”

I was so ready for anything that involved punching, kicking or staking. “Yep,” I answered.

As I rounded the couch to meet her at the entry, I passed a set of closed pocket doors leading into the library. Through the thin panes I saw three girls I didn’t recognize and a boy I remembered seeing last night. Sensing my eyes on them, they each looked up and found me staring. Again, I pulled out my ‘I come in peace’ smile.

The girl with long blond hair looked in my direction with cool distaste and turned her nose up. Either my smile still needed work, or I just encountered the drama queen of the group. I hadn’t realized I was back in high school. I hated high school the first time, which was why I dropped out.

Another girl with short brown hair and dark framed glasses that were two big for her face looked at me with more warmth than anyone yet. The smile that formed on my face was the first real one since… well, since a certain someone made me fall in love with him.

Stifle it, Lucy
.

Helen led me down the hall to the smallest of the three training rooms where one guy practiced his left hook on a punching bag. He stopped to greet us when we approached. He stood only a few feet from us, and I openly gawked at his long muscled limbs and towering height. His sweaty white tank clung to his dark skin, and I forced my gaze up to meet his before my awkward staring could be misconstrued as ogling. He looked to be in his mid twenties.

“Wade, I’d like you to meet Lucy.” Helen introduced us and explained that Wade would be working with me. She made it clear he was in charge when she wasn’t around and he would be reporting back to her with my progress.

I quickly learned that Wade was a quiet, no nonsense kind of guy. “Wade, no offense, but I don’t really see what you could teach me that I don’t already know. I’ve gotten pretty good at killing vampires.”

“How many have you killed since you became one yourself?” he asked, no judgment in his tone, but it still stung to be categorized as one of them.

“Only one, but I haven’t really been given the opportunity,” I replied.

“You don’t have enough experience, Lucy. At least, not with your newly developed strength you don’t. First and foremost, we need to dial in your control over your own body. Some moves take more finesse than others. Always going full speed and strength can sometimes backfire, which is what your natural instincts will tell you to do. If you can learn to hold back, you will gain power over your muscles’ movements and be able to fine tune the smallest of actions.”

I knew how to hold back. I did it in my first life. I was pretty sure I could do it in this one. I wasn’t a toddler.

He guided me around the punching bag to a very large and heavy freestanding vault and he stepped back.

“Your natural instincts recognize the fight inside you and will want to release your full strength. You must start by trying to refine your attack instincts. You may not be able to offset them, but you can command your train of thoughts so that you don’t have killing or hunting on the mind while fighting,” he explained.

Was he high? He expected me to not think about killing while fighting vampires? It was already impossible to block Shane’s image from my mind when throwing a punch.

“This vault is made of some of the strongest metal there is. I want to first test your full strength and then dial it down from there. Now, strike it with everything you have,” he instructed. He stood with both arms across his chest, his eyes critical as he waited.

I wanted to laugh and ask when the real fighting would begin, but something told me that conversation would lead to a dead end.

I approached the vault, my arm already tingling with anticipation. Images from the past few months invaded my thoughts. I saw vampires looming above me in a dark abandoned church. Each broken bone I ever incurred brought a fresh wave of phantom pain. I winced when hundreds of faces flashed through my mind. Killers. Victims. Family. Allies.

I balled my fist and struck out, steeling myself. Pulling my arm back to inspect the damage revealed only a slight dent in the forged metal. Confusion set in, leading to frustration and ultimately anger. I went at it several more times with more fervor. Determination proved useless when each attempt brought similar results.

“Interesting,” Wade commented after I relented.

“Interesting? That’s it? How the hell is this possible? I know I’m stronger than this. I fought someone just as strong in St. Louis only days ago. I should be punching through this thing like a paper bag!” I shouted before releasing more anger onto the vault.

It didn’t budge.

“I’m sorry, Lucy. I didn’t expect it to go this way. I thought you’d have the opposite problem. A vampire’s mind is much more complex than a human’s. It can be very efficient but also much more difficult to control. It is more tightly woven with your actions than you may realize. It may not be as simple as relying on muscle memory.”

“What the hell does that mean?” I was still seething. “And how do you know anything about a vampire’s mind?”

“We have a vast library here. I think it might be a good idea to call it quits for today. We may have gotten ahead of ourselves. You should check out the library and look over the section on transformations. Maybe when you learn more about yourself, we can try again.”

I was frustrated and ready to throw Wade through a wall. Turning into a complete failure was not something I was prepared for. Being weak was basically my worst nightmare, and as I stalked out of the room, a single thought taunted me.

I was a fucking toddler.

Needing to clear my head before self-destruct mode engaged, I meandered to the kitchen, where Chef Eric didn’t even look up when he placed a full glass of blood in front of me. I smiled brightly and swiftly snatched the glass as he went back to stirring something that smelled strongly of onion. The corner of his mouth tipped up in response to my appreciative eagerness.

“Thanks, Chef!” I exclaimed, my mood already improving.

I finished my O positive before wandering to the library. Luckily, I didn’t have to deal with Blondie. The other girl from earlier was still there and only looked up with a gentle smile before diving back into her text.

Scanning the shelves, I spotted the section on transformations that Wade mentioned. The more recent publications looked boring, but I came across a small section of journals with no dates. The worn leather bindings appeared to be old, but I couldn’t guess the period.

Hauling them to the nearest table, I propped my head against my palm and set to work skimming them for anything useful. My eyes caught on an entry titled “Waking up a Monster,” and I couldn’t believe I was reliving someone else’s transformation. Where did they find these journals, and what vampire would write all this down?

The script recounted this vampire’s struggle with waking up in a gutter and dealing with his cravings. I flipped the pages before stopping again on another entry that explained more about losing control.

My mind is no longer my own. It belongs to the demon now. It no longer works like gears in a clock but with a magic I can’t fathom. It plays tricks on me, staving my strength in the most inconvenient of times. When I think it is under my control, it shows me it is not. I no longer know myself and pose a great threat to those nearest to me.

              -Wilhem Faust

Curiosity took hold of me, and I rifled greedily through every journal. I didn’t know what I was looking for, but I had to know more. Having a sneak peek into another vampire’s mind was too tempting. It was strange seeing their thoughts and confusion play out like my own. I was under the impression I was a very different breed.

Endless tales of debauchery and bloodlust, however, made me wonder if maybe we were different. Or worse yet, one in the same. I couldn’t help but contemplate whether or not this was what I had to look forward to in my future.

Before my hope plummeted from the Kawarau Bridge without a bungee cord, I found a silver lining. An entry in the last journal was titled “Becoming one with my Mind.”

I now realize after much practice I can discipline my mind. Everything is connected in this body so intricately. My emotions are tied to my thoughts and my movements. When I can regulate them, my body behaves in a precise manner. If my movements fail me, I must look to my thoughts. If something is troubling me, it does, indeed, affect what command I have over my strength.