Blissful Vol. 1

Blissful Vol. 1

Clarissa Wild

Sweet and sexy, Blissful will melt your
heart

Unlucky is my middle name. My life as a
singer-songwriter in a band I started with my best friend isn’t
getting anywhere. I’m curvy and being thin is apparently important
for a musical career. When my high school sweetheart and I get
married, I find him kissing my best friend. Of course I didn’t put
up with it.

Broken and depressed, I run away from
everything I know, but even my car breaks down. Like I said … luck
is not on my side.

Until I meet Jack …

Maintaining a ranch isn’t easy. I’ve got more
work than time. Spare time is a luxury I can’t afford and won’t
give into. When I spend one moment alone with my thoughts, I’m done
for. Alcohol becomes my friend, because I can’t bear to feel the
misery inside my heart.

I hate who I’ve become. Sorrow eats me up,
but I won’t let anyone see. I need to keep on living, keep on
fighting, and do everything on my own. For her, my little angel.
She’s all I have left.

Until I meet Amy …

Lost in misery, love is our salvation

This is volume 1 of Blissful and contains about 22500
words.

This story contains mild sexual references. Suitable
for ages 17+.

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Published by Clarissa Wild at Smashwords

Copyright 2013 Clarissa Wild

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment
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author.

Chapter 1

Amy

There was a time when I believed in a
magical and fairytale-like wedding. I imagined myself getting
married in an old church decorated with roses and golden adornments
with a hard-working, confident but sweet man who swept me off my
feet. I remember all the times I told myself never to fall for
Ronnie, my childhood friend, because he was such a pain in the ass.
Always getting me
in
trouble for the things he did. Throwing crumpled papers at the
teacher while pointing at me, stealing candy from a store and
leaving me behind to take the blame, pulling my hair to impress his
friends. The way he mimicked people’s expressions always made me
laugh, though. We could spend ages lying on the grass outside his
house, drawing imaginary invisible animals in the clouds above us.
I adored his attention whenever we were alone, passing me his
cupcake for lunch because he knew I loved them so. He made me smile
when he said the music I made with my piano was beautiful. It was
my little secret that Ronnie Keston was actually a sweet boy on the
inside. After the dozen attempts he made to woo me when I was
fifteen, I finally gave in.

And here I am, eight years later, wishing I
ignored his teases and flirts.

The soundless breaking of my heart
overshadows the screams inside. I watch in horror at the scene
before me. I can only see parts of their body, but I know it’s
them. His short black hair and sleek posture I recognize from far
away, as I know it’s her just by seeing her long brown hair tucked
tightly into a twisted bun. Both of them crushed my heart. Ronnie
Keston is kissing my best friend Nicole Perelli.

My eyes widen as I stare at the two making
out like rabid hyenas. It’s only for a few seconds, but time feels
infinite at this moment. Ronnie gropes her ass, and she frowns. She
pulls back and covers her mouth with her fingers, her pupils
dilating. Her hand comes up and leaves a mark on his askew face,
the sound of the slap reverberating in my ears. My body is shaking
and I place my hand on the door to steady myself. As the door opens
farther, the creaks give away my presence.

In a blink of a second, Nicole sets her eyes
on me. At first she’s confused, casting her eyes rapidly from me to
him. Then misery sets in.

My mouth drops open. Ronnie’s head turns
around, and when he looks at me all I see is fire. The blazing
passion he once shared only with me.

I gasp. Words cannot describe this expanding
chasm in my chest, tearing my past, present and future to
shreds.

“Amy …” Nicole says with a soft voice.

Tears well up in my eyes, but I blink
them
away. My throat is
dry, and I swallow before I speak. “On our wedding day?”

Ronnie turns around completely and raises
his brows, pretending not to know what he’s done wrong.
“Shit,” is all that comes from
his mouth.

I stomp forward on my high white heels,
holding my heavy gown up so it doesn’t scrape the floor. Ronnie
steps in front of Nicole and blocks the way, protecting her from my
wrath. She pushes him aside and holds up her hands when I reach
both of them.

“How could you?” I scream.

“
I’m sorry, Amy, I
—”

“
No. I don’t want to hear it.” I turn
around and direct my attention to Ronnie. He is the one instigating
this all. I knew it from the moment I lay my eyes on them. He is
always the one starting these short lived affairs.

I’ve had enough of it.

I smack my bundle of flowers against his
chest.
“You cheating
bastard!” I scream.

“Amy, wait,” Nicole says. She grabs my arm,
but I jerk it loose.

“
I’m sorry,
Amy. Christ. I didn’t mean to,” Ronnie
says.

“
How the fuck could you not mean it? You
kissed my best friend. On my fucking wedding day!”
I push him, and he stumbles to
the side, catching himself on a table standing near the
window.

“
It just happened,” he
stammers.

“
Just happened my ass.” I slap him across
the face, and he winces
.

Biting his lip, he says,
“Fucking hell, Amy. I didn’t
deserve that. It was just a kiss, one time only. I’m confused,
messed up, and I just needed to know for sure that I wanted
this.”

“
Wanted what? Don’t pretend this is the
first time you ruined our relationship.”
I glower at him.

“
I’m not. This marriage thing is just
scaring the shit out of me.
Seeing you, in that dress, scares the shit out of
me.”

“
Why? Because I’m fat?”

“
No, of course not.” He rolls his
eyes
as if it somehow
makes this acceptable. As if he never thought I was fat. As if he
never said those words to me.

“
It’s just this wedding. The permanent
thing about it.”

I snort.
“Then why don’t we just cancel the whole thing?” I
jerk the ring off my finger and throw it on the floor.

“Amy …” Nicole mutters, but I ignore
her.

“
Here,” I say. “Now you can go ahead and
slobber over any chick you like. I won’t be a part of your dirty
tricks anymore.
You lie
to me, you treat me like crap, and you act as if it’s okay to kiss
other girls. I’m done with you, Ronnie. I’ve had enough of your
bullshit!” I shove him out of the ground floor window, together
with what remains of my pride.

“
You should’ve known better! You should’ve
known every fucking time!”
I yell.

He lands in a bush, his face
covered
in red marks
from the needles on the plants. The sight of him in pain is of
little consolation to me.

I jerk the crown out of my blonde hair and
throw it on the floor. Turning around, I
watch Nicole stammer, unable to say anything.
There’s nothing to say. My own eyes saw what happened. There is no
explanation that could soothe my aching heart.

I sniff and march out the door, slamming it
behind me.

All the people in the church are turned
around, gawking me. I feel naked and bruised. The way they look at
me makes me feel like a freak show, but I won’t cry. Not this
time.

I rush out the big wooden door and bolt down
the steps. I hear the doors creak open behind me. Somebody probably
followed me, wondering where I’m going, wondering what happened. I
don’t want to speak. I don’t want to be the one telling them they
came for nothing. I don’t want to realize my life as I knew it is
now over.

I run to the street in my humongous white
laced dress and hold up my hand to signal a taxi. When one stops,
the taxi driver asks me if I need help, but I just open the door,
step inside, and tell him to drive.

I gaze out the window, in shock. I can’t
believe what I’m doing, but I know I must. I have to stop enabling
him. I have to stop being the victim of his ever changing whims. I
need to fight for myself. Fight for my dignity and heart.

I sigh and purse my lips, knowing that I
look like a sulking child, holding back the tears. My eyes follow
the church as the car drives away. As it disappears from my view, I
think about all the crappy things Ronnie’s done to me, just so I
won’t tell the driver to turn around.

How he always teased me for being
overweight. How he never stood up for me in front of a crowd. How
he always wanted to impress his friends, even if it meant
belittling me. That he never supported my musical career and my
band that I’d created together with Nicole. That he was never there
for me when I needed him the most. That he just kissed my best
friend.

I hate him.

Blowing out some steam, I realize I want to
say goodbye to it all.

I roll down the window and jerk the ring off
my finger. Then I throw it out into the gutter, just like my love
for him.

When we arrive at my place, I pay the
driver, and he drives off
as if it was the most normal thing in the world. As if he
didn’t just drop off a bride after a failed wedding.

I shake my head from the stupidity and
incredibility of it all. Walking up the stairs to my apartment
building has never been more straining, but now I’m more than glad
I kept this place for myself to return to.

The farther away I get from the church and
Ronnie, the more I think about my life and what I’m doing. What do
I want? I don’t know what I want. All I know is that I don’t want
to marry Ronnie anymore.

Just thinking about him makes me want to
punch a hole in the wall.

I go up to my room and flick on
th
e light while closing
the door. Darkness and silence is waiting for me there, and they’re
creeping under my skin. The crawling feeling makes me
queasy.

I sit down on my bed and throw my keys on
the table. I bend over and look at the floor, trying to get some
blood to flow to my brain.

Then a scream comes out.

It’s not a normal scream. This is hollow and
sounds more like a howl. It’s as if someone has broken my body into
tiny little pieces and that I’m falling apart at the seams.