Blissful Vol. 1 (10 page)

He kicks
off his boots and runs his fingers through his wet
hair. He looks beautiful, with his flexed muscles that strain with
each movement. His tense abs gleam with sweat. I’m struck in
awe.

I gulp and turn my head away. Don’t look.
Don’t look. You can’t handle it, Amy.

I rigorously scrub the dishes, trying to
forget what I saw, but the image is lodged into my mind. I can’t
forget that delicious body.

“
Your car’s running again,” he says,
putting the keys on the kitchen counter. “Just ran a test
drive.”

I stare outside, looking at my car that’s
drowning in the rain. Great.

“Thanks,” I say, a little too blunt.

I hear him open the fridge. I quickly take
a peek and see him take out a bottle of beer. He opens it and
chucks the cap in the bin. He’s holding the bottle straight up to
his mouth, his muscular physique makes me want to keep looking. But
this isn’t right. He’s gulping down the beer as if there’s no
tomorrow. Gobbling it down until it’s empty.

He lets out a huge breath and slams the
bottle down on the counter. The sound makes me jolt up. Jack walks
past me, I feel the breeze of his movement pass my back, and it
makes me shiver. He opens the cabinet to my right, high above us,
and reaches for another bottle. This time it’s pure
Bourbon.

I drop the dishes in the water and stop,
wondering what he’s going to do. My eyes widen as he opens the cap
and starts gulping directly from the bottle. Gasping, I snatch the
bottle from his hand.

He frowns. “Hey!”

“What is wrong with you?” I say, and I set
the bottle aside.

He grunts. “Give that back.”

“No. What the fuck are you doing?”

“Isn’t it obvious? I need a drink.” He
reaches for the bottle, but I tuck it farther away so he can’t
reach it.

“Needing a drink is something totally
different from what you’re doing. You’re binge drinking.”

“
I
am
not.”

“Yes you are.”

He squints, coming closer and closer. I can
almost feel his alcoholic breath on my skin. He’s completely soaked
from the rain, his bare chest glinting. How much constraint do I
need to put myself through? God.

“
So what if I am. It’s my house. I’ll do
what I want,” he says.

“
I don’t care. I’m not going to let you do
this to yourself.”

“Why? You’re the reason I’m drinking in the
first place.”

“What?” I say, my mouth dropping open.

He snorts. “Well, maybe not the only reason.
But one of them.”

“
You can’t be serious. What did I ever do
to you?
You
wanted to
help me out, fix my car, and take me in for a few days. That wasn’t
my idea!”

He leans closer and I draw back, afraid of
what he’s going to do. He places his hand gently on my cheek,
caressing me
. I’m
stunned by his touch. He’s so close now, I can almost feel the heat
radiating off him.

“
You did nothing. You’re just being you.
And it’s making me crazy,” he says.

Frowning, I say, “I’m making you crazy?
What the hell are you
—”

I can’t speak.
His lips are crashing into mine.

He’s kissing me. Jack’s kissing
me. His lips are full of
passion and desire. They’re crushing mine. I never thought he
would, that this was all a daydream, but it’s real. He’s really
kissing me. For a moment I forget all the worry in the world. With
his lips on top of mine, it feels like heaven. I don’t want him to
stop.

Jack clenches my face between his hands,
pressing his lips on top of mine. I weave my arms around his neck
and pull him closer. His hands move down my neck and wrap around my
waist. He’s strong and towering abo
ve me, embracing me completely. I love all of
it.

His taste, his touch … they’re so
different from what I’m used to. From what Ronnie gave me. This is
totally different. I’ve never felt this much excitement before, and
it seems as if Jack’s much more consumed with desire. As if he
actually thinks I’m sexy.

I twirl my fingers through his long hair,
and he
moans into my
mouth. His tongue finds his way inside and circles around mine,
playing with me, exploring me. I need more, so much
more.

It’s
as if he can read my mind. His fingers slip underneath my
shirt, and for a moment I hold in my breath. It feels strange to
have another man touch my belly, and especially since Ronnie never
liked doing it.

But I overcome my insecurity when Jack’s
fingers slide up my ribcage. He makes groaning noises when he
reaches my breasts, and I gasp. He starts kissing my
neck
, and I lean
sideways, giving him free reign. He’s kneading my breasts while
kissing my collarbone. His body is pressing against mine, and I can
feel the bump in his pants push against me. I tell myself I want
this. I need this. I need love to overcome my sorrow, even if it’s
wrong. I don’t care. I need love to numb the pain, so I give in to
passion.

My hands slide down his pectorals, and I can
feel his rock-hard abdomen. Kissing and panting, I grasp for his
belt buckle and undo it.

Suddenly he releases me and pushes himself
off me. I stare at him, still g
asping for breath. His mouth is open, and he’s breathing
loudly. Jack frowns and wipes his mouth, as if he’s disgusted with
himself.

“I … I can’t do this,” he says.

Tears well up in my eyes. How could he say
that? How dare he?

“What?” I stammer.

He turns his head and leans his elbows on
the kitchen counter, burying his face between his hands. “I can’t …
Amy.”

“How could you?” I say, my voice
crumbling.

He shakes his head and sighs loudly. “Please
… don’t.”

“You asshole! You’re messing with me,
again!”

“Please … just go.”

“What? You’re going to kick me out?”

“
Just leave me alone!” he says, partially
whimpering. I can hear the crackles in his voice, but it doesn’t
move me. All I feel is hurt.

I grab the keys and run
out the kitchen. I go upstairs, fetch all
my clothes and dump them into my suitcase. Hauling it down the
stairs, I fight the tears. Ignoring him completely, I step out into
the rain, slamming the front door behind me. The ground is even
muddier than last time, but that won’t stop me. Willing away the
tears, I hurry to my car and get inside. The rain is pounding onto
the glass, and I struggle to fit the keys in.

The car starts, and the noise from the
engine drowns out the pain in my heart. When the lights turn on, I
see Jack standing there, right in front of my car. He’s holding up
his hands, his head lowered between his sagging shoulders. He just
stands there, getting dou
sed by the rain.

He yells something, but I can’t hear him.
All I see are his lips moving. I don’t want to hear it. I don’t
want to be in pain anymore.

I turn the wheel and step on the gas so I
can get the fuck out of here, but Jack runs with me and throws
himself in front of my car. My heart beats in my throat. I jam the
brakes as he puts his hands onto the hood. He’s staring right at
me, dripping water all over. He’s soaked, and his arms are spread
wide, ready to take the impact of a car.

I roll my eyes. Does he want me to drive
over him?

Opening my door, I carefully step outside
and still manage to land in a giant puddle of mud. Jack walks to my
side and holds out his hand. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Amy.”

I purse my lips and feel the tears flow
down my cheeks. I can’t stop them anymore. Not that it matters.
It’s dark outside, and the rain will make it look like generic
water, even though I’m bawling my eyes out right now.

“How could you say those mean things?”

He takes a step closer. “I’m sorry, I didn’t
mean it. I’m just … confused.” His eyes lower to the ground. “I’m
fucked up, Amy. I have a history, all right? And it’s not something
I like to bring up with strangers.”

“What history?”

“That’s not going to be of help here. I just
know that I can’t jump into a relationship like that. Not with
Maddy, not with …” he swallows back the words he was about to
say.

“Well, then I guess I should leave, right?”
I open the door again, but he slams it shut, jamming his hand
against it.

“
No, please, don’t.” He comes even closer,
and I take a step back. “Please don’t leave.”

“Why shouldn’t I? You just told me you
wanted me to leave you alone.”

He sighs. “It’s not like that. I didn’t
mean it like that. Please, I don’t want you to leave.”

“Then what do you want, exactly? Because I
don’t fucking understand. One moment you want to kiss me, the next
you’re disgusted.”

“
I wasn’t disgusted. I never was and never
will be. You’re beautiful.” He comes into my safe circle and places
his now cold hand on my arm. “I want you.”

“Then why do you back off each time? I can’t
take it anymore.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I don’t know how many
times I can say I’m sorry before you realize that I mean it.”

Now I’m the one sighing. I sniff, and I
think he realizes I’m crying, because he put his other arm around
me to. He pulls me into his embrace and rocks me sideways. “Oh,
Amy. I’m sorry I made you cry. I should’ve never said those
things.”

“No …” I say, whimpering. “You made me feel
like shit.”

‘I’m sorry. You’re not. I want you. I need
you. I’m just afraid.”

“Afraid of what?”

“Afraid of this. Us. What it mounts up to.
What it grows into. We’re both in denial about what happened to us.
Can’t be good.”

“
I know.” Gazing into his eyes, I see
genuine hurt in them. “I’m afraid, too, but I know I want this. I
don’t care if we’re each other’s rebound or whatever.”

“
Tell me you won’t go,” Jack says, cupping
my face between his fingers. “Just for a few more days. Or longer.”
He nuzzles me like a lover. “I want to learn not to be afraid. I
want to learn to love again, but it takes time.”

“How much time?”

“I don’t know … But if you leave we’ll never
get to try. Take the chance. Besides, Maddy already misses you,” he
says, chuckling.

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, she was really angry about you
leaving.”

I laugh. “I’ve never been very good with
kids, so it’s funny that you mention that.”

“
Maybe you’ve just learned to like them. As
I’ve learned to like you.”

We smile at each other, and I know I don’t
want to go. I was actually hoping he’d come and convince me to
stay. Now I know he really does feel the way I feel. If only just a
little.

He presses his lips firmly onto mine, and
I wrap my arms around him. He holds onto me like he never wants to
let me go. I don’t remember what happiness is, but this future I
imagine I’ll have with Jack comes close to it. I can only call it
bliss.

###

End of BLISSFUL Vol. 1

Want more?
Download Blissful volume 2
now!

Want to get an email when my next book is
released?

Sign up here to receive a free
story:
http://eepurl.com/FdY71

Visit
Clarissa
Wild’s blog
for current titles.

About the author:

Clarissa Wild is an avid reader and writer of sexy
stories about hot men and feisty women. Her other loves include her
furry cat friend and learning about different cultures. In her free
time she enjoys watching all sorts of movies, reading tons of books
and cooking her favorite meals.

Connect with Me Online!

Twitter:
https://twitter.com/WildClarissa

Facebook:
https://www.facebook.com/ClarissaWildAuthor

Pinterest:
http://pinterest.com/clarissawild/

Google+:
https://plus.google.com/u/0/110159060064239089141/

Smashwords:
http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/Clarissawild

My blog:
http://clarissawild.blogspot.com/