Blood Lite II: Overbite (9 page)

Dog Tired
(of the Drama!)

L. A. BANKS

Generally when Lola came into the bar for a good rare steak and a beer, she tuned out of the human conversation going on around her. But even without supersensitive wolf hearing, the loud table of older women having a divorce party nearby was impossible to ignore.

“Men are such dogs, girl!” a heavily made up woman exclaimed to a thunderous round of agreement from her friends, and then she tipped her Cosmo up to her mouth.

“Chile, don’t even get me started,” another said, slapping the nearest of the five girlfriends sitting next to her.

Lola kept her eyes on her plate. They didn’t know the half of it. Her best friend, Raina, nudged her with her knee under the table.

“So riddle me this,” Raina said, leaning in. “If the human males are such dogs, then why have these women spent a mint on nylon hair, false eyelashes, push-up bras, and acrylic nails? Clearly this isn’t for each other, right?”

“Because,” Lola said, releasing her breath in a rush, “they want to attract a mate, and all of that stuff is what I guess human males like . . . long hair, big boobs, flirty eyes, and manicured hands and feet or whatever.”

“But—”

“But they don’t want to attract a Neanderthal. They want a mate, but a guy who’s sensitive and caring and honest.”

Raina frowned and simply stared at her for a moment, the concept not getting through her beautiful skull. “They don’t want the strongest in the pack? I don’t follow.” She glanced at the women. “They want sexy, virile alpha males, yes? But that doesn’t come with sensitive and loyal and all of that. That’s a beta. A frickin’ collie, Lola. Do you get both in one form amongst the humans? What would that be . . . an alpha-beta or a beta-alpha?”

“I’m told they exist, but they’re rare.”

“Like unicorns, I bet,” Raina murmured in awe and then sent her focus back to the table of partying females. “These stories are better than watching those human shows like Jerry Springer. But I still don’t understand why they would dress for an alpha when trying to land this elusive alpha-beta or whatever the humans call them?”

“It’s complicated. Do you want your vegetables?” Lola asked, swiping Raina’s broccoli, already knowing the answer.

Arguing the point was useless to a woman who’d never walked a mile in human shoes. Raina was always hot, and was born into a wolf pack. She’d been bred by old-fashioned natural selection . . . a hot alpha mom, a dad who was the leader of the pack, which meant she had zero-percent body fat, hair that flowed like the river Nile every full moon . . . great nails, long lashes, perfect skin, and a permanent tan, thanks to her Lakota roots. It was depressing. Lola, on the other hand, knew all too well what the women sitting a table away were talking about.

“You seem far away tonight, Lola. What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Lola said quietly. “It’s just that . . . I don’t fit in.”

“Of course you do,” Raina said, too cheerfully. “How can you say that?”

“Uh, hello . . . I got left for dead after a rogue beta noshed on my ex-boyfriend during a supposedly romantic let’s-see-if-we-can-work-it-out-again camping weekend. So, I got scratched by a criminal you guys were hunting down, which is the only reason I’m allowed in the pack at all. And if I thought dating before was hard . . . sheesh. I’d have to explain really bad mood swings during a full moon to a human guy. Doesn’t really play out that well, ya know.”

“You make it sound like you’ve got an STD or something. You’re a beta werewolf female. Now get over it. That’s normal. Most are. It’s no crime. C’mon.”

Lola looked Raina squarely in the eyes. “The only time the pack guys ask me out is when they think I’m in heat, if you haven’t noticed.”

When Raina looked away, she knew she had.

“Listen,” Lola said, sipping her beer. “I know you feel really bad about what happened—”

“It was my fault that your friend got mauled and you got bitten, Lola,” her friend said quietly. “The pack knew Jeeter was a little left of center and had planned to send our alpha after him . . . but . . .”

“I know, I know, you went into phase and all anybody could do was howl at the moon.”

Lola polished off her beer, also knowing that were it not for guilt, one of the most popular girls in the pack probably would not be spending an ounce of time with her. She owed Raina a lot, too, since it was that friendship that kept the other less tolerant females from messing with her. But Raina was a big ole lovable softy inside, even though she had the capacity to rip your face off.

“I know what,” Raina said, raising her apple martini and trying to switch the subject. “We should go for a run.”

“Aw, man . . . I don’t know,” Lola protested. “That means we have to get naked and shape-shift and I’m not that comfortable doing that so close to a full moon.”

“Your body is fine,” Raina said, clasping one of Lola’s hands. “Your coat is a gorgeous ticked brown.”

“I look like a gangly German shepherd, let’s face it.”

“Oh, my God, you do not!”

“It’s not sleek and black like yours. My canines are short and my back haunches are fat, plus—”

“Will you stop!”

“No, you go ahead . . . I’m gonna check my email and—”

“Email?” Raina nearly shouted and sputtered on her drink.

“Shush, will you keep your voice down?”

“That’s right,” one of the ladies from the party table said, leaning way over in her chair. “Tell your girl she’s gotta get out and get naked. Gotta drop all inhibitions when they dog you like that.”

Both Lola and Raina gaped at the older women who’d clearly been sipping much longer than they had.

“Yeah,” another one said, slightly slurring the word. “But she can also get her swerve on through the Internet. She needs to date out, too.”

Raina cocked her head to the side for a moment. “Outside the species?”

The women at the table erupted in laughter.

“They are aliens, all men are, so yeah, go outside of your species, girl!”

A rowdy round of high-fives and hoots brought a harried server over to the table for a fresh call for drinks. To Lola’s horror, two umbrella drinks got sent to them as a part of the party.

“Thank you so much,” Lola said and pasted on a smile.

“Thanks everybody,” Raina said, raising her glass.

“Just a little something to get your confidence up,” one of the ladies called across the table. “Enjoy, and when you see some women younger than you going through the dog-tired blues, you send them a drink.”

“That’s right, honey-chile,” another said, laughing. “Pay it forward—thank you, Jesus!”

“Ummm . . . I don’t really drink,” Lola whispered to Raina. “A beer, maybe wine, but this looks really dangerous.”

“Aw, live a little and say thank you again once you drain the glass,” Raina fussed, and then lifted her glass toward the adjacent table. “Thanks a lot again. Next round is on me!”

“You go, gurl,” a heavyset platinum blonde hollered, and then they all lifted their glasses toward Raina and Lola. “We up here in the Poconos for an all-girls’ weekend and you are so welcomed to join the festivities. Trust me; we’re going primal, hon—so tell your girl to drink up!”

“We’d better finish these drinks and get out of here,” Lola said in a nervous whisper.

“Okay, miss party pooper, but let’s just play it by ear.”

“They have no idea that dating out for us is a whole different experience.” Lola shook her head as she watched Raina make short work of her drink.

“Haven’t you ever wondered what it would be like to do a vampire?” Raina said in a conspiratorial tone.

“No!” Lola said in a sharp whisper. What she didn’t say was that it was hard enough to wrap her brain around the possibility of doing a guy who had four legs.

“Okay, that’s fair . . . the whole blood and biting thing could be a little freaky and I’d worry that I could accidentally forget and leave a shade up or something in the morning. Disaster. But you’ve gotta get out there and try.”

“Why?”

Raina finished her drink and ordered another round for both tables, then folded her arms. “When’s the last time you’ve been laid?”

Lola’s mouth flew open and her face got hot. “I am so not answering that question!”

“I’m being serious—like before your ex-boyfriend got, er, um, eaten . . .”

“We were broken up and it had been a while. I was healing. On hiatus.”

“Which was why when he called with that we-should-get-back-together-and-see-if-we-have-a-chance crap, you went.”

“Yeah, I went.”

“You know, crazy-ass Jeeter probably did you a great service, even though we had to formally put him down in the pack. Human flesh is such a taboo. Bad for the mind, body, and spirit, especially with what humans consume today. But from all you told me about him, he was an absolute jerk. And it all worked out—the park rangers said it was a bear attack, so everything was cool. Now all we need to do is get you a real boyfriend—a hot bod.”

Lola opened and closed her mouth before any words could come out. “Raina, sometimes I don’t even know what to say to you.”

“I know,” she said, grasping Lola’s hand in friendship again as the table beside them erupted when new drinks arrived. “Good, because we’re leaving here and gonna go to this cool little vampire blood bar I heard about.”

She could
not
believe she was doing this. But how did you tell the pack’s she-alpha thanks but no thanks? In a word, you didn’t. What had started out as a girl’s dinner at Outback Steakhouse was quickly morphing into a hostage-adventure.

A mai tai and Yuengling lager were doing hand-to-hand combat in her stomach, making the steak and potatoes and, of all things, garlic bread and cheese broccoli, repeat on her.

“OMG, I think I’m gonna be ill,” Lola groaned.

“It’s just adrenaline . . . nerves. The rush of the hunt.”

“I ate garlic bread.”

The black SUV swerved. “Oh, shit,” Raina said. “Quick, in my purse. Take like five mints and give me a couple.”

Lola complied and began rooting around in Raina’s purse, bypassing condoms, a couple of joints in a baggie, and her cell phone. “Can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” Raina said with a bright smile.

“Uh . . . is Bruno gonna flip if he finds out somehow that you went to a vamp bar—and be mad at me?”

“He won’t be mad at you, Lollie-dollie, I promise. Just at little ole me.”

Lola sat sideways in her seat, stretching the seat belt around her. “But he is gonna flip, isn’t he?”

“Do you know how many women that man has fucked up and down the Eastern seaboard, not to mention throughout all the mountain ranges between here and Kentucky? Screw Bruno! I’m doin’ a vampire tonight.”

“Okay, that’s it. You’ve had too much to drink and you are so not thinking clearly. Turn the SUV around or let me out on the side of the road,” Lola said, holding her head. “I thought you two were doing okay and were a permanently mated pair. I don’t want to—”

“We ARE a mated pair!” Raina said, her voice taking on a sudden fractured tone that Lola had never heard. “But he knows there isn’t an alpha for miles that would dare dominance challenge him, so, he thinks he can do as he pleases.” She glanced at her purse as her cell phone vibrated. “I’m in phase and nowhere to be found. Those older human females were right. I’m not letting him dog me! Tonight I’ll let him twist.”

Lola sat back in her seat and just closed her eyes.

• • •

She didn’t know what she expected. Goth maybe. But the techno-punk beat, neon strobe lights, and naked girls dancing the poles with snakes was not it.

“Welcome to Li’l Hell,” the bartender said, flashing fangs. “What’ll you fine canine types have tonight?”

“Jack Daniel’s, neat,” Raina said, scanning the bar, “and give my girlfriend whatever you’ve got on tap.”

The bartender smiled. “Baby, I’ve got O positive, negative, A, B . . . you’re gonna have to be a little more specific.”

“Um . . . I’m the designated driver, so a ginger ale will be just fine,” Lola replied, leaning in so the entire bar didn’t hear her order.

The bartender gave her a thumbs-up and leaned in closer as Raina stalked away from the bar and entered the dance floor solo.

“Your girlfriend looks like she’s on the serious hunt tonight—a real alpha . . . is there gonna be a problem in here if her man finds out?”

For a few seconds, Lola simply stared at him, blinking.

“You just answered my question. Thanks, honey. It’s my job to know these things so I can telegraph it to my bouncers,” he said with a toothy grin. He gave her a little shrug. “That way we reduce property damage and keep it all in the parking lot. But if she came in here for some action, she came to the right place. Our Barons love this kind of adventure . . . keeps ’em from getting bored.”

He handed Lola a ginger ale with a twist of lemon, as well as Raina’s drink to hold for her while she was on the dance floor. The only thing Lola could say was “oh,” as she watched her girlfriend move with the music.

It was a primal, sultry, sexy dance that drew the attention of several handsome male vampires that had been aloof and monitoring the crowd from the perimeter. Sweat soon stained Raina’s shirt and Lola glanced around, watching the males slowly wet their lips and take a slow sip of what looked like merlot but wasn’t. Then her girlfriend’s head jerked toward a dark-haired suitor’s intense gaze. She smiled and gave him her back to consider, seductively gyrating her perfect ass as a temptation.