Blooms of Consequence (Dusk Gate Chronicles Book 4) (26 page)

“So, what did they say that has you too freaked out about my reaction to tell me where they can see me?” she asked, when they’d walked a little way into the woods.

“I’m not freaked out. I just thought we could use some privacy.”

“Liar. How bad was it?”

“It wasn’t
bad
… it was just… heavy.” He stopped walking, and leaned against a tree, reaching his hand out toward her. “You and I haven’t really talked about the biggest issue here – the prophecy.”

She looked down at the ground, kicking at a rock with her boot. “No, we haven’t.”

“I get why we haven’t,” he said, pulling gently at her hand so that she had to take a step closer to him. “Between the two of us, it wasn’t an issue. It’s not why I asked you to marry me, and I know it’s not why you said yes. But here we are. We’re married now, and the prophecy is still there, and it does mean something to other people.”

“I don’t even know if I believe in the prophecy.”

“I don’t know if I do either. But I don’t think it matters. If it’s real… we could fulfill it. If it’s not real, which it probably isn’t… our marriage is still pretty significant politically, Quinn. We’re still bringing together the crowns of Philotheum and Eirentheos. And that is huge to a lot of people. Including the people who are on this journey with us.”

“So they want to see us looking like we just got married.”

“Something like that.”

“Do they think we’re faking it – this is just a marriage of convenience?”

He looked to the sky for a moment, trying to come up with the best way to answer her question, but there just
wasn’t
an easy way. “I don’t think it would bother them if that’s what it was, love, so long as…” Warmth flooded up his neck.

“So long as
what,
Will?”

“So long as we produce an heir.”

Quinn coughed and took a step backward. “Is that what they were talking about today?”

“Yes.”

“An
heir
. Like, a baby.”

“That’s typically what it means, yes.”

“What,
now
?”

“I think they’re willing to wait nine moons.”

“We’ve been married for two days.”

“I know.”

“Us getting married and ‘fulfilling the prophecy’ isn’t enough for them? They want a baby, too?”

He took a deep breath. “You have to look at it from their point of view, Quinn. If we go through all of this, fight this battle, stop Tolliver’s bid for the throne… having someone to pass the throne to, to keep the line going – that’s going to be a big deal.”

She closed her eyes for a long moment, and finally nodded. “I get it. I told you before, I
do
want children. I just wasn’t thinking about it
now
, that’s all. And it seems like you’re saying that everyone’s over there hoping we’re busy making a baby right now.”

William couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped. “I don’t think anyone is going to come looking for us, if that’s what you’re asking.”

She shot him a dark look. “I wasn’t asking.”

“You did ask what they were talking about. And I told you.”

“You’re right. I’m sorry – I shouldn’t take it out on you. I just… this is a
lot
.”

“Want to turn around now and go back to the gate? Go back to high school and worry about failing your World History class?”

“Is it bad that that’s sort of tempting right now?” She took a few steps away from him and sank down on a low tree stump.

“No. That sounds like a pretty normal reaction.” He crossed over to her; there was nothing else to sit on, but he didn’t care. He sat down on the ground in front of her stump, pulling his knees up to his chest, and setting his hands on her knees. “Are you serious? Because it’s not too late.”

She sighed. “No. I’m not serious, Will. I made this decision, and I’m not going to change it. I guess I just have to expect that some things are going to hit me like this – this is why everyone wanted me to take my time, isn’t it?”

“This, and a thousand other reasons, love. You’re not just changing your address.”

She smiled, placing her hands over his. “I should have seen this one coming, shouldn’t I?”

He shrugged.

“I mean, I know we’re married – not that I’ve gotten used to that – but the thought of having a baby just wasn’t even on my radar yet.”

 He held her hands, running his thumb around her wedding band. “At the risk of pointing out the obvious, I could remind you that we haven’t exactly been doing anything to prevent that from happening.”

Her cheeks instantly turned a glowing shade of red. “Does it make me the biggest idiot in the world that I didn’t even consider that?”

“I don’t know. It’s not like I said anything to you, either.”

“Would you be okay with it?” she asked. “If I did get pregnant?”

“Okay with it isn’t the right way to put it.” He looked into her eyes. “This world is so different from the one where you grew up, Quinn. Sometimes I forget how different. It’s not even a question here, you know. We try to find ways to space children out sometimes, but most people aren’t big on preventing them from coming at all. Babies are good. Every child here is considered a gift from the Maker.

“I wouldn’t be
okay
with it if you were pregnant – I would be excited, wondering whether my child was going to be strong and beautiful like her mother, or quiet like me. I’d be sleeping with my hand on your stomach, hoping one night he’d wake me up with his tiny kicks…” He pulled on her hands, bringing her down onto his lap.

“I know this is strange and new and scary for you. I know it’s all coming so fast. But we’ll deal with it. I’m trying not to freak you out with every crazy detail you haven’t thought of… but I probably should have brought this one up before you had to deal with it like this.”

“I’d have probably had at least a minor melt-down no matter how you brought it up,” she said, smiling and wrapping her arms around his neck.

“Hey, we have a deal, remember? Either one of us is allowed to freak out whenever we need to – just not both of us at the same time. So, you worry about ruling a kingdom, and I’ll worry about the babies.”

It worked; she laughed. “Have I told you lately that I love you, Will?”

“Hearing that from the most incredible girl in two worlds could seriously over-inflate my ego you know, but I’ll take it.” He kissed her.

“Seems like it would be a shame to waste all of this privacy,” she said, looking around them.

“Then we’d better not.”

QUINN DIDN’T GET A chance to speak with Nathaniel alone until the next afternoon. After several hours of traveling through thickly wooded areas, away from any kind of road, Marcus had finally brought them to a stop. There was a place near here where they’d been hoping to be able to cross the border without detection. Marcus and Ben had gone to check it out, leaving the rest of them in a sheltered area.

The run-in with the Friends of Philip the day before had grown their group; Eloise and Gene Bennett had decided to travel back to Philotheum with them and help how they could. This morning, Aelwyn had carried a message to Gene’s brother with a letter to little Elliott from his parents.

“We want to be proud of the Philotheum we bring him back to,” Gene had told Quinn when they’d spoken to her about their decision. “You’ve shown us already that you care enough about people to risk yourself. We want to see the throne restored to your family.”

The others, Weston Cook, and the other couple who’d been with them, the Evans’, had stayed behind.

Nathaniel was crouched by a small stream, refilling water pouches when Quinn approached him. “Can I talk to you?” she asked.

Nathaniel stood immediately, closing the top of one of the pouches. “Of course.”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Why would I be mad at you?”

“It’s just… yesterday, when I agreed with Charles that we wouldn’t stop in Cloud Valley – it seemed like you weren’t happy about that. And we’ve never really had a chance to talk since then.”

“We haven’t talked because things have been busy, Quinn. I’ll be honest – I didn’t agree with Charles about not trusting Eli enough to stop over in Cloud Valley, but I understand why you would make that call.”

“You think Charles was wrong.”

Nathaniel sighed. “I understand where he was coming from. I understand why he doesn’t think we should trust anyone. I know he thinks Stephen has been wrong to trust the people he’s trusted. But for me, yes, I think my brother is wrong in withholding trust from the people who have earned it.”

“Even though it’s incredibly dangerous right now? Look what happened with Linnea.”

Nathaniel looked at her thoughtfully. “Do you think Stephen was wrong to allow his son to bring his girlfriend into the castle?”

“It didn’t turn out very well.”

“Is that Stephen’s fault?”

She paused. “It’s not his fault, exactly, but he could have prevented it.”

“Do you know that?”

“What do you mean? If Catherine hadn’t been allowed into the castle, her family wouldn’t have been able to kidnap Linnea.”

“Not as easily, maybe. Maybe not in the same way, but if they were determined enough to do it, they probably still could have. In the meantime, Stephen might have done real damage to his relationship with his son.”

“So what, are you saying we should just trust everyone and cross our fingers that they won’t murder us in our sleep?” she snapped.

Nathaniel’s eyebrows rose into his hairline. “Really, Princess?”

Heat flooded her face; she didn’t even know where that tone in her voice had come from. “Sorry.”

“Good.” He nodded. “Because, queen or no, Quinn, I won’t put up with that. You have enough of an uphill battle getting people to take you seriously without adding acting like a spoiled brat to the list.”

She took a deep breath, swallowing back the sudden nauseated feeling. “You’re right, Nathaniel. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have spoken to you like that.”

He put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed it gently. “It’s easy for me to forget that you’re only seventeen, and that in your world, seventeen is much younger than it is here.”

She closed her eyes for a long moment, steadying herself. “It doesn’t matter how old I am, Nathaniel. I don’t have any room for excuses.”

His gray eyes were kind as he looked at her. “You have some room with me, but you’re right. Your every move, every action, every
word
is being watched carefully by others. It’s a lot of pressure. I’m not angry with you, but I am going to let you know when you cross a line.”

“I need you to.”

“Yeah, you do.” He smiled and leaned down to kiss the top of her head.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him. “Thank you, Uncle Nathaniel.”

“I’m here for you. You know that, right? I’m sorry that I haven’t always been, but I am here now.”

“I know.”

“Anyway, you were asking me about trusting people – I don’t know what all the right answers are, Quinn, and I know that times are scary. But I will tell you what I believe.”

She nodded.

“I believe that most of the great evil in the world happens not at the hands of malice, but of fear. Because good people, the ones who would do the right thing, don’t do it, out of that fear. Maxwell wasn’t wrong to trust Catherine Whittier. She was wrong to betray that trust. Stephen didn’t do the wrong thing when he trusted his son’s judgment.

“What would happen if Stephen really became mistrustful and fearful of everyone in his castle and his kingdom? You know who’s afraid of everyone and everything? My stepfather. And he’s raised his son, Tolliver, in that fear. It’s turned them into people who live believing that they need to crush everyone before they, themselves, get crushed. Fear is like a weed in a garden. Once you allow it to take root, it spreads, replicating itself, until, eventually, it chokes out all the other life there. Trust, love, kindness – none of those things can ever really bloom in a garden of fear.”

“But sometimes there’s actually something to be afraid of.”

“There’s
always
something to really be afraid of. Sharks are real, Quinn. You have to be reasonable – you don’t go swimming in shark-infested water with an open cut – but you don’t kill all of the sharks in the ocean, either. And you don’t avoid the ocean. You don’t spend your whole life never learning to swim or sail or surf just because sharks exist and sometimes they bite.”

“And you don’t rule a kingdom never trusting anyone just because some people aren’t trustworthy.”

He nodded. “Mistrust breeds untrustworthiness. Fear breeds malice. Trust breeds peace and hope. If Stephen had treated Maxwell as if he were untrustworthy because of the
possibility
he was making an unwise decision, where would their relationship be now? Would Max have gone to him when he did figure out the truth? Or might he have decided that since his father didn’t trust him anyway, he might as well go along with the people who did?”

She closed her eyes. “And when we didn’t go to Cloud Valley, we were telling Eli that we don’t trust him.”

“We were turning away from good, letting ourselves be controlled by fear. Cloud Valley is a village that has consistently been a safe haven for Philothean refugees – the ones who truly needed help. The people there have opened their doors and their hearts to everyone in need. There are more Friends of Philip there than anywhere else I know. And, in a way, we just punished them for the actions of others. We turned away from good, in favor of honoring evil by giving it power over us.”

“That’s not what I was trying to do. I was just trying to keep us safe.”

“I know that. I told you I understood your decision. I’m just telling you the other part to consider; asking you to think about where you might be allowing weeds to grow instead of planting roses.”

“Again with the roses and the weeds.”

He shrugged. “It’s a family story.”

She nodded. Of course it was. Of course Alvin would show her visions of that in her dreams without ever offering an explanation.

“You did the same thing you know, Nathaniel, when you didn’t want me to go help at the emergency clinic during the fire. You wanted me to stay safe instead of doing the right thing.”

“If I ever tell you I’m perfect, Quinn, feel free to remind me about all the ways I’m not. It’s not easy. It’s even harder when you’re making decisions about people you love. I’m doing the best I can.
You’re
doing the best you can.”

She nodded again, looking down at the ground. “I’m trying.”

“I know.”

They were quiet for several minutes before she finally looked back up at him. “People surf in Eirentheos?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes, actually – we don’t call it that, but yes. But that wasn’t my point.”

“I know. That just caught my attention. I guess I never thought… Do people ski here, too?”

“Cross-country, in some places where the winter gets very snowy. More for travel than for sport.”

“Quinn! Nathaniel!” William came walking up to them. “Marcus and Ben are back. Marcus would like to speak to everyone.”

“Okay,” Nathaniel said. “Let’s go.”

William frowned, watching Nathaniel walk back toward the group. “Is everything okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” she answered. “Just a lot of stuff for me to think about. But I suppose if I’m going to be the queen of a kingdom, I’d better get used to that.”

William nodded, leaning down to kiss her on the forehead.

*          *          *

“We have a problem,” Marcus said, once everyone had gathered. “There are soldiers patrolling the area by the border. As far as we can tell, there aren’t any on this side, but we saw two across the river.”

“Why are they here? There’s nothing around here. No villages, no people, nothing.”

“Nothing except the last place we can get horses across the river for more than a full day’s travel.”

“So we’re going to lose two whole days finding another spot,” Quinn said.

“At least. The terrain gets more challenging here,” Nathaniel said. “We’re getting into the mountains.”

Quinn frowned, she hadn’t seen any mountains.

“They look like tree-covered hills compared to where you’re from,” William said quietly in her ear, “but they’re mountains.”

“We don’t really have another option, do we?”

“We could risk it with the soldiers,” Marcus said. “It didn’t seem to be a large regiment. Maybe we could avoid them.”

She shook her head. “Too dangerous. We don’t know how many there might be behind them. And we don’t know who’s leading them.”

“There are a few places we could probably get across the river on foot without drawing much attention to ourselves, but we’d never get the horses and all of the supplies with us.”

“What is our plan for after we’re across?” Quinn asked.

“There’s a safe house in a village not far from where we are now,” Ellen said. “Maybe another hour of traveling. It’s a property owned by a cousin of ours, Brian Miller, who has managed to keep his involvement in the resistance quiet, and Tolliver has left him alone. I’m not even sure he remembers, or cares about Brian’s family since, in his mind, they’re not important royals. If we can get there, Brian can connect us with a way to get to the castle; we can make a plan, and find the support we need.”

“Can we afford to take – what, probably three days or more to get there?” Quinn asked.

“We may not have a choice,” Marcus answered. “But every moment that Linnea is missing is time we’re losing.”

Quinn nodded, trying to think. She looked at Ellen. “How long would it take us to reach your cousin’s house on foot?”

“
Our
cousin,” Ellen corrected. “He’s the son of my mother’s brother.”

“Our cousin’s house, then. If we didn’t have horses, how long would it take us to get there from the border?”

“Well, the next place we could cross the river is probably two hours on foot from here. From there to the Miller Estate – maybe a few hours, less than half a day” Marcus answered, studying a map he’d laid out on a rock.

“Do you know where it is?” she asked.

“Yes. I’ve known Brian Miller for a long time, and have been there before.” When Quinn frowned, he looked at her. “The Friends of Philip has been my life for many cycles, Princess. The Miller Estate has long been one of our greatest assets. Brian’s parents cut off most of their contact with the Philothean castle right after Jonathan died, and their whole family has worked quietly since then. It was a very smart move – Hector has no idea of the threat they pose to him.”

“Or he
didn’t
, anyway,” Ellen said. “I don’t think we can take anything for granted now. Our mother has certainly remained in touch with them.”

“Okay.” Quinn nodded. “So what if we consider a third option – some of us crossing the border on foot and heading to the Miller Estate, while everyone else takes the horses and supplies around the long way?”

“It’s risky,” Marcus said. “We may have trouble getting back together.”

“All of the options are risky,” she answered. “I just don’t think we have the time to wait.”