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CHAPTER 24 – EVIE

He was a monster. A violent man capable of murder. And the worst part of it was, it had nothing to do with whatever transgression Preston had made against Niall. That might be what got him on Jet’s radar, but it was what he’d done to me that had earned him what he was given. If Jet had killed him, it would’ve been on me. His blood would’ve been on my hands. I’d wished him dead more times than I could count when everything happened between us, but now that it might actually happen, I felt nothing but sick to my stomach.

I looked up at Big with tears in my eyes and said, “Is he going to survive?”

“Your boy stopped before it got to that,” he said, watching a couple of guys tending to Preston.

They hooked his arms around their necks and hoisted him to his feet. He walked out, though just barely.

“He’ll be fine. Come on,” Big said as he took my arm.

He made a path through the crowd for us. I didn’t remember taking a single step, but somehow, I ended up climbing into Big’s truck shortly afterward. My thoughts were darkened by what I’d just witnessed, clouds settling on the sunny skies of the happily-ever-after I’d been planning since the night before.

“You okay, sweetie?”

“I feel like I’m going to vomit.”

“Do you need a minute before we go?”

“No, just go.”

We didn’t speak again until just before pulling onto the street where my hotel was located.

“I’ll check on him, okay? Put your number in my phone, and I’ll let you know how it turns out. I’m pretty sure Jet ended it before it got to that point.”

I nodded and reached for his phone, adding my number like he’d requested.

“He wouldn’t have been able to get up at all if…” Big trailed off, never finishing his sentence.

My stomach nearly jumped into my throat at the thought. Not only was it very telling as to what Big had witnessed in his life, but it also told me that, more than likely Jet had beaten someone to death before at one of those warehouse fights.

Before I had time to contemplate that, I caught sight of Jet leaning against a car parked near the entrance of the hotel. He still wore the tattered jeans he’d worn in the fight, though he’d put on a gray T-shirt somewhere along the way. His hands and wrists were still wrapped and bloodied from the havoc he’d wreaked on my ex-husband’s body.

“I’ll take you somewhere else if you don’t want to talk to him.”

That sentence meant more to me than Big could ever know. I knew Jet was his best friend, but the fact that he was willing to protect me reminded me of the friend he’d been to me when we were teenagers.

“Just say the word, and I’ll keep driving.”

“I’ll talk to him.”

His hand brushed against mine, and he said, “Take care of yourself, Evie. If you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to let me know. The number for the garage is my cell number so look it up and add it to your contacts, okay? I’d tell you what it is, but I can’t remember the son-of-a-bitchin’ thing.”

“Thank you,” I said. Opening the door, I exited the truck.

Jet straightened up and tipped his chin to Big as he drove away. I made my way slowly to him. I wanted to be repulsed by him and the violent person he could be, but when I looked at his face, all I could see was the boy I’d fallen in love with. Glancing at the blood on his hands reminded me that he wasn’t.

“You still care about him? Still love him?” he asked without looking at me.

“No.”

“I saw it, Evie.”

“No, what you saw was me being horrified that you were going to murder a human being, and it would’ve been all my fault. His blood is literally on your hands, but it would’ve been on mine, too.”

“Can we talk inside?” he asked, his gaze flitting around, seemingly looking to make sure no one was eavesdropping.

I took a deep breath and sighed. “I don’t know what else there is to say.”

“If not now, when? I’m not letting you go that easily.”

“Oh, really? What changed from the last time you let me go? Didn’t seem to be a big deal then. What’s the difference now?”

“That’s not fair… I already told you why I had to do what I did.”

“Yeah, to save me from the life you exposed me to tonight. Now I get it.”

“No, you don’t,” he said. “You don’t know how hard it was without you. You don’t know how it killed me.” He stepped toward me, reaching for my face.

I turned away from him. “Don’t touch me with his blood still on you.”

Opening the door, I entered the hotel with him following close behind. There was no use in telling him to go, so I didn’t try to stop him.

A silent elevator ride and walk down the hall later, we arrived at my room. I wanted to scream at him, to tell him to leave and to never contact me again. I wanted to call him a monster and a fiend, but when I faced him, the words wouldn’t come.

He yanked at the bindings on his hands and wrists until he had them freed, and then he pulled his shirt off. Tossing it all to the side, he stepped into the bathroom. The rush of water from the faucet broke the silence. Moving to the bathroom doorway, I watched as the water flowed over his hands, staining the collecting pool in the sink a deep crimson hue before finally running clear a few minutes later.

After drying off his hands, he stood there looking at himself in the mirror. When he braced himself on the edge of the sink, a ragged breath escaped from his lips as his head dropped forward.

“How do I fix this?” he whispered.

“You can’t.”

“Did he get up after I left?”

“With help… I don’t know what you expect from me, but I doubt I can give you what you want. I can’t be with someone I’m afraid of.”

His face snapped to the side, his eyes boring into my soul. It was the first time I noticed that his cheek was swollen a little on one side. “I would
never
hurt you.”

“But you already have,” I said, wrapping my arms around myself.

“I know,” he said and moved to me. His clean hands slid around the sides of my neck, his thumbs tilting my chin up to look at him. “Let me spend the rest of my life making it up to you.”

Pushing his hands away, I took a step back and said, “I can’t do this. I give music lessons to kids for Christ’s sake. What if one of these guys you fight comes after me because we’re together and they want payback? What if that happens while I’m teaching one of my kids how to play guitar? Hm? How could I live with that? How could I live with knowing an innocent person was hurt because of my affiliation with you?”

“You teach kids how to play guitar?” he asked, a hint of a smile appearing on his lips.

“
That’s
what you took from that? Unbelievable.”

“I’m sorry, Evie. It’s just amazing to me that you make your living from something
I
taught you. And that other stuff? Yeah, it’s a concern, but I would kill anyone who even thinks about going after you, and that includes Niall.”

“That’s the issue,” I exclaimed. “I don’t want you to kill people, especially not for me.”

“I’m more than that—you know that.”

“I’m having a hard time seeing it right now.”

“I’ve never gone out and murdered someone just for the hell of it. You make it sound like I’m a fucking serial killer. I kill because I have to. I fight for my goddamn life every time I’m forced to face someone. Most of them don’t end in death. And, yeah, I could’ve gotten out of fighting Preston tonight, but I chose not to because I wanted him to pay for what he did to you.”

“I don’t need you fighting my battles. I haven’t even seen that son of a bitch since I left him. I’ve moved on and left his abuse behind me.”

“Yeah? Because he didn’t. Leave it behind, I mean. He’s just as bad, if not worse, than he was to you.”

“I thought he crossed Niall and that’s why he was there. What’s any of this have to do with the things he did to me?”

“I picked him up for Niall, but you remember me telling you that someone had knocked the shit out of Jerney?”

“Yes, but you said she lied about it.”

“She lied about part of it, but not about what was done to her. He paid her two grand to do the same thing to her that he tried to do to you. He wanted to brutalize someone while he fucked them. Did he do that to you during sex? Those scars on your body? Was that him, too?”

“It’s none of your business,” I said.

My lip trembled at the horrible memory of the whole ordeal. He’d held me down and punched me in the face as he shoved himself into me, and when I fought him, he grabbed one of his fucking knives and slashed into me in four different places. Every one of his cuts left a scar, but no one else had ever noticed them until Jet.

Jerney certainly wasn’t my favorite person, but it made me sick to think she endured that and so much more. I remembered seeing the way she tried to cover the marks on her face with a thick layer of makeup. I could remember how swollen her lip was, despite never seeing her before in my life to even know what her lips should’ve looked like. It was that obvious. I wanted to cry over the fact that life had been so cruel to a woman and that she felt like she had to cater to perverts to make her living. And I had judged her for it.

“That’s what I thought… He’s a sick fuck, Evie. He deserved to die, but because I hesitated, he gets to walk away and do that to other women. Probably unsuspecting ones who will never see it coming. I should’ve killed him… I think that’s what you don’t understand. You don’t get it that the people I fight, and the few who didn’t survive, were flat-out scum. They were murderers, rapists, thieves… the worst of the worst. They’d gotten away with crimes that would make your head spin, but because they crossed Niall—the prick that he is—they ended up getting some of what they deserved.”

“You’re a vigilante. Is that how you see yourself?”

“In a way, yes.”

“And what if they weren’t evil? What if someone made a mistake and some innocent man stood across from you and ended up hurt really bad or even dead?”

“Occasionally, one will slip through who doesn’t deserve to be there. Those are the fights I lose, with the exception of the fight where I got stabbed. That’s the only one I lost that I didn’t throw… I’m not what you think I am, Evie. I’d never hurt an innocent person. I don’t just show up and do as I’m told, although Niall would never know the difference. I look into things myself. I check out alibis when they’re given. When I find out someone shouldn’t be there, I take it easy on them and give them signals on what to do, where to hit me, where to kick me so it’s believable when I go down. No one but you and the poor fuckers in the situation know that.”

“Couldn’t you just refuse to fight them?”

“No,” he said, his tone certain. “That’s never an option without Niall bringing it up first. If he gives me an out, I can take it, but otherwise, I’m stuck. I have to do what he says or he’ll hurt the ones who actually mean something to me.”

“Georgia?”

“And you,” he said. Closing the distance between us once again, his hands settled on my hips, pulling me to him. “I can’t fucking lose you this time. I won’t. I’ll do anything to make this work, to keep you safe.”

“I need some time to think, and even if I can come to terms with all this, I’m not sure this is the kind of life I want to live. I can’t live knowing I might be in danger for simply being me, and I know you believe you can protect me, but you can’t be with me twenty-four hours a day.”

“I get it.”

“Once you leave, it’ll have to be radio silence. You have to give me that. I know it’ll be hard, but that’s what I need.”

“And what if Georgia and I get away from him? Am I allowed to contact you then?”

“No. You have to let
me
decide what’s best for me. I love you
so
much, Jet, but I’m scared to death to be a part of your world.”

Closing his eyes, he nodded. “Don’t make me leave tonight,” he said, pressing his forehead to mine. “Please.”

“You have to go,” I said and pushed him away.

“Why can’t I just leave in the morning?” he asked. His voice was shaky, almost like he might lose it and start crying. I’d never seen him get emotional like that, even when he’d confided in me the dark times in his life, but he had to be capable of it. Every human being was.

“Because,” I said, raising my voice. “If I let you stay tonight, I won’t be able to let you go tomorrow. You’ll make love to me and force me to forget everything I’ve said, everything I feel, and it’ll be over. I’ll lose myself and my free will in the process.”

“Then I won’t make love to you, baby,” he said, marching over to me and lifting me in his arms. He held me there pressed to him, his chest rising and falling heavily against mine.

He fused his mouth to mine, capturing my full attention. My whole body tensed under the sweet pressure of his lips, only relaxing once he laid me on the bed. Every nerve in my body fired, calling for him to become one with me.

“I thought you said you weren’t going to make love to me,” I said breathlessly against his lips.

“I’m not.”

He rose to his feet, pulling my boots and socks off before yanking at my belt and jeans and tossing them to the floor. His fingers dug into my hips as he forced me to turn over to my stomach. His touch was light as a feather under my shirt, his hand traveling the length of my spine, pushing the material up as he went. When it slipped over my head, I pulled it the rest of the way off my arms.

Settling his weight on me, pressing me into the mattress, he spoke firmly into my ear, his breath warm against my flesh. “I’m not going to make love to you, Evie… I’m going to fuck you.”

“There’s a condom in my purse,” I said. What I wanted was to feel him inside me, skin to skin, but I couldn’t risk bringing a child into the fucked-up situation we’d found ourselves in. I wasn’t even sure it was a life I could live; there was no way I was exposing a child to it.

He moved off me, and everything faded away in anticipation of his touch. My body prepared to take him without any coaxing, wetness pooling between my thighs. The thought of him alone was enough to damn near finish me off.

My legs parted by his knee as he pulled my ass up to him. Supporting my weight on my forearms, I arched my back and pushed myself against him.