Blown (9 page)

Th
is conversation needed to end. There was no point continuing it because the results would never change. I pulled out of his embrace and retrieved his discarded pants. The strip of condoms was in his pocket just like I'd hoped. I waved them at him. "We're going to need these."

I tore one off and set the rest on my nightstand where I'd be able to find them later. Mateo frowned at me, but his cock seemed to like the idea. It twitched and grew as I watched,
and I debated whether I should open the package or simply drop to my knees and help him along.

"Roni, don't change the subject." He folded his arms over his chest. Maybe it blocked his view of his traitorous cock, which grew harder by the second.

I sighed. He wasn't ready to let the conversation go. "I can't promise that and you know it. I have a job to do. That hasn't changed."

"It's not safe."

"It never is. Neither is your job." It seemed to me his job was considerably more dangerous than mine, but I wasn't fucking whining at him not to do it.

"But I can't protect you there." He grabbed my wrists and held them against his chest, squeezing tight enough to make me cringe. The condom f
ell to the floor. Shit, he was going all alpha-male on me, and goddamn was it hot. Probably wasn't a good time to mention how wet he was making me.

"Mateo, it's not your job to protect me."
That probably wasn't my best response, either.

"What if I want it to be?" He
said it loud enough for me to worry about my neighbors. It took a few seconds for his words to sink in.

"Shit." I didn't know what else to say. Our relationship was simple, if conflicted. We fucked and it felt really good. And we both knew we'd have to stop when it stopped being convenient. Or at least I thought we both knew.
He didn't seem to have gotten that memo. "Shit." I said it again just to be clear.

"I
know
that we'll never work, okay?” He said. "I know. But I can't help it. When I saw Crimson kill that guy, all I could think about was getting you out of there, about what a fucking dumbass I was for ever taking you there in the first place."

I could feel his heart pounding in his chest and I
placed my palm flat over his heart. He was so fierce and loyal and he wanted to protect me. It was overwhelming. And it was never going to happen.

"I'm a cop." I spoke soft, but even and clear. I wanted absolutely no miscommunications on that point.

"I know."

"And you're on the ATF watch list." I hadn't meant to tell him that part, but at that point, I didn't have it in me to hold back.
Homeland Security knew about the Vargas brothers, but their information came from the ATF.

"What? The ATF has a
fucking watch list? What the fuck?" He looked surprised, both by the information and the fact that I knew it. Then he shook his head. "Not the point. I want more, Roni, I want
us.
”

I couldn't help it. I totally teared up at that. I wanted it, too. But what good did it do either of us?

"That can never happen."

"Why not?"

I debated repeating my bit about being a cop, but he already knew that and it wasn't enough. "Because I don't want to arrest you. And the more I know about you, about your life, the more likely that is to happen."

"You could quit."

I laughed. "And so could you."

He didn't respond, just drew his mouth together in a tight line, his brow creased in thought. His resignation wasn't forthcoming, of that I was certain.

I stood on my tip-toes and kissed him gently. He allowed the kiss and returned it carefully. "Can't we just enjoy the time we have together right now? Please?"

He
deepened the kiss then, his tongue gentler in my mouth than it ever had been. Still knowing and confident, but easy and slow.

I broke
off first and looked into his eyes. His expression was sad beyond explanation. There was nothing I could say or do to change reality, short of quitting my job as he suggested. And we both knew I wasn't going to do that. I kissed my way down his chest and settled easily on my knees before him. I picked up the condom and showed it to him, then flipped it behind me onto the bed. As long as I was down on the floor, I was going to spend some time there.

I'd wanted to suck him off since forever, and right then it was a hell of a lot easier than looking in his eyes. I rested my hands on his calves and squeezed gently. He made a strangled grunting sound and rocked his hips forward, a not so subtle reminder that he needed me. Like I could possibly forget the hard cock that was a few inches from my face. As if.

"Easy." He'd said something similar to me recently. A tease letting me know he would take care of me, give me what I wanted, but only when he was goddamn good and ready. The role reversal made me smile.

"I've got you."

"Please." He rocked again. I traced my hands up his legs, stopping at his hips and applying enough pressure to let him know what I wanted. In a true battle of force, he would win, but that didn't mean he couldn't surrender control when I wanted it. He grabbed my hair and urged me forward and I batted his hands away.

"No more of that." I smiled up at him and licked my lips. "Hands behind your back."

He growled, a low, deep rumble that resonated up through his chest and dissipated in his throat. He glared at me, then moved his hands into position. I peeked because I couldn't help it. Here he was, this pillar of manhood and strength, submitting to me, however little. His trust made me heady, but the power itself was exhilarating. He clasped his hands together in the small of his back, like a soldier at ease.

"Good, now stay like that." And before he could protest further, I
licked the length of his cock before taking him into my mouth as deep as it would go, which by deep throat standards, admittedly wasn't very far. But it was a hell of a lot farther than I'd let him go again if he complained about it.

I fisted the base of his cock and pushed back on his hip, forcing him to withdraw. Then I gripped his ass, squeezed it tight because it felt amazing in my hand, and pulled him forward. A few more rounds like that and he got the idea. He thrust sharply into my mouth with a groan and a shudder, his legs straining. My hand kept him from going too deep, but I was definitely going to feel this the next day.

His cock was satin smooth and soft, almost delicate, which is pretty damn ridiculous if you think about it. A cock is the symbol of manhood, of virility and strength. It was designed for penetration, for pounding relentlessly into a woman's cunt, and yet it was also the softest, most vulnerable part of the male anatomy. That he trusted me with this part of him, that he put himself inside my mouth with no fear and only the belief that I would take care of him, well, that was fucking hot.

I moaned around his cock, my tongue caressing and accepting him as he thrust into my mouth. The salty secretion of pre-cum coated my tongue and mouth
, but I wanted more. I relaxed and opened my throat wider, inviting him just a little deeper.

"Roni." He groaned out my name, his hips working hard and fast. I looked up at him, begging with my eyes, because my mouth was otherwise occupied, for him to just let go. I wanted all of him and this was the best I could offer at the moment. "Fuck
," he muttered.

And then his hands were back in my hair, gripping tight and holding my head immobile. The look on his face, the sheer drive for release, would have kept me from reprimanding him even if I had been able to speak. Oral sex had always been fun, but this was the first time I really wished I didn't have a gag reflex. Maybe I could work on that for him.

Or not, since this was a technically a farewell fuck.

I dug my nails into his ass a little harder. I wanted to leave some mark on him, some sign that I'd been there, however small. He jerked and pulled my hair taut.

"I'm close."

I released my hold on his cock and wrapped both arms around his thighs. Hopefully he'd control himself and not thrust farther than I'd previously allowed, but I was willing to take the chance. I wanted both of my hands on him, holding him in me when he came. I didn't want him to pull out at the last minute out of some misguided sense of chivalry.

As lost as he was, thrashing his head side to side with his lips curled back in a snarl, he kept himself in check. He thrust to the back of my throat, to the exact point that made me gag and choke, then withdrawing just as quickly.

He came with a stilted grunt, his legs quaking and the hold in my hair sharpening as he orgasmed in my mouth. My grip on his ass was tight and unrelenting as I sucked hard enough to hollow my cheeks and looked up at him through my lashes.

"Oh God," He thrust a few more times, jerky and uncoordinated, and continued to release down my throat.

He slumped on top of me, his weight enough to make me surrender my hold on his cock. After a few deep, gasping breaths, he gathered himself and stood straight again. He stroked my hair gently.

"That was. . ." he smiled at me with a predatory gleam. It was totally hot.

I arched one eyebrow and looked up at him, choosing to remain kneeling. "Yes?"

"Fucking awesome." He laughed as he said it, the seriousness of our earlier conversation washed out completely with the orgasm.

"You liked that?" I laughed, too. Not because it was funny, but just because it felt great to release some tension.

"Oh yeah. Definitely." He wrapped his hands in my hair and tugged me up. "Come here."

He kissed me slow and deep, his tongue sensual and probing, licking his essence from my mouth. He moaned and I squirmed, clasping my thighs together. A futile act, but all I had at the moment.

He broke the kiss easily, "Want to get some rest?"

"Are you insane?" I led him to the bed.

There was no way either of us was getting any sleep for the rest of the night.

I woke up with my legs around Mateo's shoulders and his tongue in my cunt. My body was already rolling with fire, building low in my belly and pulsing outward. All in all, not a bad way to start the day.

I arched my hips and grabbed his head and shouted all at once. "Fuck!"

He smiled, I could feel his mouth curve up around my pussy, and then he sucked my clit into his mouth. Hard. I was suspended in this surreal place between sleep and orgasm and it was fucking awesome. They should totally invent alarm clocks that wake people up with orgasms. Of course, I'd hit snooze about fifty times, and never actually make it out of bed, but so not the point.

He did this thing with his tongue, where it curled around my clit, yet went all flat at the same time. He pressed against me and circled crazy fast.

"Jesus, I'm going to come." I held his head tighter to me and thrashed against his face. He tightened his grip on my hips, adding to the score of sex bruises from the day before, but he couldn't hold me. I just dug my heels into his back and arched into him. He moaned and it reverberated through my pussy, flooding me with arousal. I had no idea how he was even breathing, let alone enough to manage a smile and a moan.

He flicked his tongue rapidly against my clit in exactly the right spot and that was it. I was done, gone flying around the room, yet lost so deep inside myself that I couldn't be sure if the yelling I heard was coming from me or three apartments over.