Blue Persuasion (32 page)

“I’m chasing you,” he rumbled. He thrust even deeper and fired his warm cum into me spurt after spurt.

“Holy Christ! My heart is trying to bang its way out of my chest.”

“Mine too,” he sighed out, his body lying over mine.

I believed him. I could feel the pounding of his heart against my back.

“I’m going to pull out.” Once he did, he untied the rope that kept my legs fastened to the desk and removed the pad from underneath me.

I slid my feet together and waited for him to untie my arms. Once free, I had trouble standing.

“Here, let me help you.”

I leaned against him as he dried me off with a towel. “Your laundry bill must have gone up.”

He chuckled and led me to the big, leather office chair.

“Damn that was incredible,” I said as he held me in his lap.

“How’s your ass?”

“Sore, but it was so worth it.”

“Why did you say twenty, then twenty-five? I was shooting for ten.” He kissed my forehead, holding me against his chest.

“I wanted to impress you.”

“And you did, as you always do. You continue to astound me. You match me kink for kink.”

I felt gleeful. “I have to keep you on your toes.”

“Better to keep me on my back although this last position was hot. I did miss seeing your eyes, though.”

“Yeah, me too,” I said, hugging him.

“Should we clean up and head to Red’s?”

“Okay. Kiss me again first.”

Arriving at Red’s, it became clear to me just how far Tate and I had come since last week. Tate still watched me but not with a pinched brow. He seemed to enjoy his time with the guys, and it gave me time to connect with the girls. Jacqs kept her distance, and I assumed she didn’t want to talk about her disclosure.

Once everyone settled outside, Bond and I met up in the kitchen.

“How’s it going?” I asked, popping a chip into my mouth.

“It’s hard to sleep alone every night. It sucks. Jacqs is still in a weird space. How are things with you and Tate?” He opened the fridge and took out a beer.

“Going remarkably well. We seem to be getting closer every day. There’s such a mix of feeling free and vulnerable at the same time. I hope that doesn’t upset you.”

“My turn to feel what I’ve done to you for years.” He took a swig of the beer.

“I don’t want you to feel that way.”

“I know. We’re good. We’ll get through it.”

Samantha came in through the French doors. “Got a minute?”

“Sure, where do you want to go?” I asked.

“Front room?”

I reached out and gave Bond’s arm a squeeze and then walked with Sam to the front of the house. I sat gingerly on the love seat portion of the sectional. “What’s up?” I asked.

“First, tell me about Tate. He looks like a different man. Dare I say happy?”

“He is, and I am too. He’s really helped me through the loss of my aunt. I’m sure I still have grieving to do, but it’s hard to be depressed when—” I blushed.

“I’m so happy for you.”

I touched her arm “Thanks, Sam. So any prospects for you?”

“I’m not really looking for anything, but this guy I knew from high school has been bringing his nephew to the same preschool where I take Sarah.”

“That sounds promising. What’s he like?” I shifted onto my other ass cheek, still feeling the effects of the paddle.

“That’s the problem. He’s utterly perfect and I’m—” She shook her head.

“You’re what?”

“I’ve never had a healthy relationship with a man, I mean, other than our friends here.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean.”

She looked down at her hands and then back at me. “And I have a sordid past. How do you tell a man that you don’t know who the father of your baby is?”

“If he’s the right man, none of that will matter.” I truly believed that.

“He deserves someone better than me.”

“You’re someone far better than you’re giving yourself credit for. You aren’t your past. You are your now. Time to let that shit go. Helena said I needed to forgive. I think you need to forgive yourself.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s what my mother keeps telling me. She says that I’ve turned a corner, and it makes no sense to keep looking back.” She paused and then said, “Is Jacqs okay? I know she and Bond are in flux, but she seems off to me.”

“You should check in with her. I’m sure she could use the support.”

We both stood and hugged.

“I will,” Sam said.

Tate and I stayed at Red’s for a few hours and then headed back to my place.

“We never did anything about my car today,” I said once we stepped into my place.

“I wanted to talk to you about that.” He placed his duffle on the kitchen table.

“Tate, where’s my car?” I folded my arms across my chest.

“It’s at Rick’s shop like I said. He says it needs a lot of other work, and I just thought—”

“You thought what?”

He took a step toward me. “That you could keep my Jeep and I’d get something else.”

I dropped my arms. “I’ve had that car for a long time. It’s the first one I bought for myself.”

“Blue, can’t you let me do this for you?”

“I don’t know. I can afford to buy myself a different car if I wanted to.”

“Please just think about it. I want to.”

Utterly conflicted, I didn’t know how I felt. “I’ll think about it.”

CHAPTER THIRTY

Kiss

by Ed Sheeran

B
ig warm hands caressed me awake on Thursday morning.

“Mmmm. Morning,” I whispered, my eyes fluttering open.

Tate’s lips joined his hands, their dancing rousing me.

I kissed his cheek and said, “Be right back.” I peed and brushed my teeth and then hurried back to bed.

He swept me back into his arms and resumed his morning constitution of love.

For the very first time since meeting Tate, it felt like smooth sailing instead of choppy waters. The last thing I wanted to do was leave the bed and go to work. “Is there time?”

“Plenty.”

He made love to me, me lying on top of him, and I fell deeper for him on every incursion. His beautiful mahogany eyes, no longer sad, held mine.

It was as if he freed the energy of love within me to ooze out of every pour. We came together in a roaring release. The intense vulnerability left me feeling a bit shy and slightly scared.

“What is it?” he asked, holding me as I trembled.

“I’m scared.”

“Me too. I’ll keep you safe.”

I snuggled in deeper, praying that he meant it.

“Listen, baby, I think I’m going to crash at my place tonight. I’ll pick you up for our date tomorrow.”

I sat up in the bed. “Oh?”

“I have three classes today, papers to grade, and student conferences to go over their progress for the next two days.”

“It better not be a meeting like ours.”

“Damn, you’re cute. Not to worry, some little pixie has captured all of my attention.”

“You call these little,” I said, shaking my breasts in front of him.

“You’ve got me there. The rest of you sure is.” He laughed.

I shoved him playfully and he set me on top of him, lust and love mingled in his expression. “Your eyes. They do something to me. I love that they’re no longer sad.”

He kissed me as if he were falling in love and then said, “That’s because of you, kiddo.”

“Really?”

He kissed my nose. “Really. Unfortunately, I have to get going. I have some student conferences this morning too.”

“Let’s do it.”

♥♥♥♥♥

I arrived at Lainie’s Bella Boutique just before they opened at ten. “Hey, you!” Lainie said as she opened the door to the back of the shop. “This is a surprise.”

“Tate and I have our official first date tomorrow night, and I need a new dress.”

“What kind?”

“Something summery and nice, maybe a step up from casual. Sexy, but not too revealing.”

“I have a couple of ideas. Do you want to go short or longer.”

“Longer.”

She walked over to a dress rack and held up three dresses.

I checked them out and pointed. “The sleeveless black dress with the tan and pale orange flowers.”

“It does have a V neck, though. Try it on.”

I went into the changing closet and came out to see myself in the outside mirror.

“Oh, that’s definitely the right one,” Sam said, strolling up to us.

“I’m not sure,” I said, pulling up on the front. “What do you think of the length?”

“You definitely need a different bra or maybe no bra? The halter straps might give you enough support.” Sam walked around me, checking all the angles. “With high heels, the length is perfect. I love that the hem rides up in the middle and hangs longer in the back. The sash really brings your waist in, and the coloring is perfect for your hair.”

“It’s no wonder she sells so much,” I said to Lainie.

“So true,” she said and then walked away toward a customer who had just entered the shop.

“Take off the bra,” Sam said.

I stepped back into the dressing room and pulled my bra off. Back in the shop, I checked my reflection. “Do you think I’m sagging too much?”

“Not at all. It looks quite natural.”

“I think I might have the perfect shoes for it. I’ll take it.”

“Go change,” Sam said. “I’ll ring you up.”

♥♥♥♥♥

After working a busy lunch and dinner shift at The Chart House, I texted Tate as soon as I got home.

Me:
Home and about to jump into the shower.

Tate:
Me too. I’m on my deck, trying to summon the energy. Those students were draining.

Me:
How many hit on you?

Tate:
Five.

Me:
Only five?

Tate:
Three dudes and two gals.

Me:
LMAO!

Tate:
Seriously? It was hard to focus on their papers as visions of you across my desk kept flashing through my mind. That and your red ass. Good thing I had the desk for cover.

Me:
My ass is still a bit sore. I didn’t mind the reminder at work, though. It made the long day bearable.

Tate:
Why don’t you give notice?

Me:
Because I have bills to pay.

Tate:
I can give you the money.

Me:
Now you want to give me money too?

Tate:
Take it for what it is.

Me:
What is it?

Tate:
Completely selfish on both counts.

Me:
Meaning the money and the car?

Tate:
Yes.

Me:
How?

Tate:
I want more time with you, and cutting out the waitressing job means we’ll have it. The car is a safety issue, and because I want to spoil you.

Me:
It makes me feel like I’m my mom.

Tate:
If I thought you were using me for my money, I never would’ve offered.

Me:
What happens to my car?

Tate:
My guy sells it.

Me:
We can talk about this tomorrow night. Do you have another full day of student conferences?

Tate:
Unfortunately.

Me:
See you tomorrow night at 7. I’m going to shower and crash.

Tate:
Me too. Sweet dreams, Blue. I’ll miss having you beside me.

Me:
Yeah, me too.

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE

Human

by Christina Perri

I
worked the lunch shift and then impatiently waited for my date with Tate. I reworked three more chapters in
Soul Adjacent
, did my large pile of laundry, and cleaned my apartment, all in an effort to manage my excitement. I thought of texting Tate several times during the day, but I didn’t want to bother him.

Freshly showered, I applied bronze eye shadow, brown eyeliner, and smoky-red lipstick. I put my hair up in a bun with my bangs and wispy tendrils down. I slipped into my new dress, tied the sash, and slid on my taupe, closed-toe heels with a crisscross strap at the ankle.

I held my clutch and waited on the couch, my heart dancing around my chest, trying to find a rhythm. Our date symbolized Tate’s willingness to move forward and mine too. I decided to take him up on his offers. Although I would have never chosen a red Jeep for myself, I had really grown to love it.

Tate, with a gorgeous bouquet of Calla Lilies, knocked on the door. He looked especially handsome in his brown slacks and textured, brown, button-down shirt with parallel black stripes, his chiseled chest peeking out from the top of the two undone buttons.

“You look incredible,” he said, scanning me from head to toe. “Is that new?”

“Yes, I got it for tonight.” I beamed up at him.

“I’m one lucky man.” He kissed me passionately and then said, “Let’s put these in water and go.”

Holding my hand the whole way, he drove us to Market 17 in the Jeep.

“Wow, this is fancy,” I said as we strolled into the restaurant arm in arm. “Did you see that they do dining in the dark?”

The hostess sat us at a two-top, ivory-clothed table, fully appointed with plenty of light. She handed each of us a menu. “Your server will be with you shortly.”

“Thank you,” I said and smiled. I glanced over the menu, salivating. “Everything looks great.”

“I’ve never done the eating in the dark. The menu changes here every day,” he said, reaching for my hand.

“Really? Do you eat here a lot?”

“No, not a lot and not recently. Would you like an appetizer?”

“I’d rather have dessert after the entree. The crispy duck leg confit sounds delicious. What are you going to order?”

“The grilled antelope filet. I’ve never had antelope before.”

“I’d assume it tastes like venison, not that I’ve tried that, either.”

The busboy filled our water glasses and quickly moved away.

“This is lovely,” I said. “Thank you for taking me here.”

“It’s my pleasure.” His thumb brushed over the back of my hand.

“I’ve been thinking about your car offer. What kind of car will you get?”

“The Mazda MX-5.”

“That’s a two-seater, right?”

“Yeah. I figured we could use the Jeep when we need more room.”

We? Could we actually be a we?

“What did I say?” he asked.

The server approached and Tate ordered for us both, including a bottle of wine.

“I have this weekend off,” I said, changing the subject. “I forgot to mention it.”

“Let’s take a drive along the coast on the Harley. We can decide where to stop along the way.”

“I’d love that. Can we stop by my mother’s on our way out?”

“Absolutely.”

Woohoo!
I had never taken a vacation with a man, and I was extremely delirious about it. I tried to contain my smile.

“You can let it out, you know.”

I laughed and said, “Yahoo!”

He laughed with me.

My meal was scrumptious. I tried Tate’s dish but didn’t care for it. He ate all of his and the rest of mine once I finished.

As the busboy cleared the table, Tate asked, “What would you like for dessert?”

“Are you sure you still have room in there? Want to split the Maple Blondie?”

“An endless pit,” he said, pointing to his stomach. “The bourbon ice cream with it sounds interesting.” Tate flagged the server and ordered our dessert, plus a coffee for him.

While we waited for the dessert, a very elegant woman in a black, lace-inset sheath dress sauntered over to our table. “Who’s this?” she said to Tate, looking down her nose at me.

I felt completely underdressed.

The steel door closed down over Tate’s features. Before he even spoke, my stomach dropped. “No one,” he said. “What do you want?”

“Clearly, she’s someone to somebody.”

“Not to me, she’s nobody. What do you want?”

I shriveled inside myself, wishing I could fade into the wall next to me.

No one!

Nobody?

Anyone who sings that stupid nursery rhyme about sticks and stones has never lived in my shoes. Words maimed and killed.

“Are you coming to the reunion next month?” She cocked her hip seductively. “Everyone’ll be in town.”

“Not fucking likely.” His eyes bored into her, his ears glowing red.

She checked me out again and said, “I heard you had sworn off women. Years they said, or have you reverted to picking up strays again?”

My ire raged and I forced out, “You’re not going to introduce me?”

“Just stay out of this.” He glared at me. To the woman he said, “Jessica, buzz off.”

“You should bring your feisty, voluptuous nobody. It would sure set tongues a waggin’ and make Christina stand up straighter.”

“If you don’t mind...”

She put her hand on her hip. “Oh, but I do. Do come. It’ll be so much fun. We all miss having your fine self around. Cal can be such a stick in the mud.”

“The only way I’ll be at the reunion is as a ghost haunting you all.”

“Does she know about Christina and Cal?”

“Shut up, Jessica. I told you she’s no one.”

“Huh.” She paused. “Well, she’s definitely not your type,” she said, staring straight down my cleavage. “Do you love her? Miss Nobody?”

“You all made damn sure I’d never love anyone ever again.” Tate made to stand, but the woman finally took the hint.

“I’ll go. Just think about it.” She caught my eye and said, “You’re
nothing
like Christina.” She successfully harpooned me on her departure.

“I’m sorry,” Tate said, touching my arm.

“You’re always sorry. It no longer has any meaning. No one? I’m no one to you? Fuck you and all your lies and bullshit.”

“Blue, I hate the woman and was trying to avoid exposing you to her—”

“To her what? What you exposed me to is how you really feel about me. You’re embarrassed by me.
No one?
Those words will echo in my head and heart forever. Please take me home. I want to go home.”

He knelt next to me and took my tear stained face in his hands. “I didn’t mean it. You have to know that. You’re ... you’re my...”

“What? What am I to you?”

“I can’t.”

I turned away and I thumbed on my phone.

Me:
Can you come to get me right away? If not, maybe Stay? Red? Please!

Bond:
Are you at the restaurant?

Me:
Yes. Market 17 on A1A in Fort Lauderdale.

Bond:
I know it. I’ll be there ASAP. I’m not far. Are you okay?

Me:
No, not in the least.

Bond:
Hang in there, Blue.

“Bond’s coming to get me,” I said, not making eye contact.

“I’ll wait with you.” He pulled out my chair as I stood.

I lifted my clutch, my tears embarrassing me. I prayed I wouldn’t cross paths with the wretched woman.

Outside while we waited, he pleaded with me. “Blue, please. She took me by surprise. What I said was stupid, and I didn’t mean it the way it came out. She’s a vulture and...”

“And?”

“Nothing. You know you matter to me.”

I glanced up through my tears. “But not enough. You hurt me deeper than you can possibly understand. I don’t want to do this anymore. I have to love me more than I love you. I truly hope someday you can heal and be honest with yourself, but I’m done waiting.”

Before he could respond, Bond pulled up, got out of his car, and punched Tate in the mouth. “I told you not to hurt her,” he shouted and then opened the passenger side door for me.

I gasped and climbed into the car, watching Tate cup his face. His eyes connected with mine one last time, and I willed myself to look away from his devastated expression.

“Where to?”

“I don’t care.” I leaned against the passenger door and silently wept.

Bond rubbed my back. “Do you want to talk about it?”

I shook my head and continued to cry.

“I thought this might happen,” Bond mumbled.

“Not helping.”

“Sorry.”

“Yeah, yeah.”