Blurred Lines by KD Williamson (8 page)

Kelli’s mumbled. “I know that.” At least everything she saw was above the waist.

Williams slapped a hand on his knee. “We’re good? No more bullshit?”

She glared at him. “We’ll see.”

He chuckled. “So, ready to come out of your skin yet?”

Kelli’s shoulders sagged with relief. It felt good to think someone knew exactly how she felt. “A little bit, yeah.”

“Must piss you off that things still hurt.”

Kelli blinked and waited for him to continue. There was more. With him, there always was.

“I may not have been injured on the job, but I was in the armed forces, Kelli. Remember?”

“Forgot you were old as fuck. You don’t really look it,” Kelli said.

“Thanks, I think.”

“You’re welcome.”

For several seconds, Williams was silent. He watched her and waited. Kelli felt herself squirming under his scrutiny once more. “Will you stop that? Just say what you have to say.”

“Okay.” He held up his hands in a placating gesture. “Nightmares start yet?”

Kelli sucked in a breath. She didn’t need this right now especially when her emotions were so raw. Damn his fucking eyes.

“I guess that’s my answer.”

“Williams,” she said his name as a warning.

Again, he held up a hand. “I’m not going to press you on this. Just know that it doesn’t go away by itself, Kelli.”

This conversation needed to be over. Tension coiled through her and made her muscles clench. She could handle the pain. It centered her. “I’m not doing this.”

“I’m not asking you to, but it’s happening. That’s all I’m saying on the subject.” Williams paused. “How’s everything else?”

Kelli shook her head. “I don’t know. I’m missing something, and it’s right in front of me. I…I don’t want to talk about that either.”

Williams gazed at her. “Travis seems fine to me.”

“Yeah, I guess. It’s not just him—” Kelli looked away.

He cut her off. “Kelli—”

“Dammit, Williams. Stop pushing me.”

He raised his hands for a third time. “All right, I wasn’t trying to.” Williams stood.

Kelli didn’t want him to leave, but she didn’t want him to stay either. Not if it meant he was going to stay on this topic.

“You need anything?” he asked.

Kelli ground her teeth at the reminder that she was still pretty much useless. “No.” It was strange how he could know her so well one minute, and the next it was something completely different.

Williams sighed. “I’ll go visit the kid, then. I’ll try not to wear out my welcome so quickly next time.”

Their gazes met. Kelli nodded and watched him go.

* * *

Nora peered at the white board behind the trauma desk. There had to be something interesting to fill her time. She ignored the large contingent of residents and pressed her way forward. They seemed mostly oblivious to her anyway. She caught bits and pieces of conversation. Some were louder than others.

“I like Mistress of Kink. It has pizazz.”

Gossip was a childish activity, and she was not surprised that Dr. Fuller was involved in it.

“Shhh!”

“Please, she has a one-track mind. She’s not paying attention to us.” Taylor didn’t even bother to lower her voice.

“Threesomes are not all that kinky unless you bring out the whips and chains.”

“I’m sure she does that too. Never thought she would be the clingy type, though. Rader wants nothing to do with her, and she’s still hanging on. It’s pathetic.” Dr. Fuller sounded almost gleeful.

Nora straightened her shoulders. She held no illusions about who they were talking about. The new rumors were trite, not very inventive, and an obvious attempt for Rader to save face. He had a reputation to uphold, and thanks to him, so did she. She refused to let her anger and irritation show. Nora was better than this, but there were times when she didn’t want to be.

“Dr. Fuller?” Nora interrupted.

“Taylor, I told you she heard you!” Dr. Crowder whispered harshly.

“I can hear you as well, Dr. Crowder,” Nora said with authority. “Since neither of you have anything more productive to do—”

“Oh, I’m on Rader’s service.” Dr. Fuller pointed at the board.

Nora’s lips twitched. “I’m sure you are.”

Taylor reddened and glanced away.

Nora felt emboldened by Dr. Fuller’s reaction. Taylor responded as the immature girl that she was. While, as a woman in her stride, Nora met it head on. She stepped away from the desk. “Follow me…both of you.”

Walking through the hall, Nora slowed as they neared the free clinic. The angry hushed murmurs coming from behind let her know that this was the right decision. She turned and nearly bumped into them. “You will spend your day lancing boils, removing foreign objects from patients, and adhering band aids, since a surgical rotation isn’t challenging enough for you.”

Taylor’s blue eyes widened. “It is. There must be some kind of mis—”

“If it were, you would have time for nothing else.” Nora smiled politely. “Have a productive day,” she said as she strolled away.

Nora had many dissenters for one reason or another. They wanted her small and cowed, but she had hardened herself against such attacks. No cracks remained for anything to seep through. So, what she did to Dr. Fuller wasn’t retribution. It was a calculated move. Nora peered down at her watch and almost smiled. She had a Whipple procedure to remove lesions from a patient’s pancreas and small intestines scheduled to start in an hour.

* * *

A pleasant weariness settled on Nora’s shoulders. The Whipple was a success, and at this point, the patient needed continuous monitoring for any complications. She checked charts. Then, she did her final rounds to check the residents’ work and see to the welfare of their patients before retiring for the night.

Nora neared Kelli’s room. There was really no reason for her to go inside. She was healing without complications or setbacks, but still, Nora stopped just outside the entrance. Curiosity got the better of her, but she knew it went deeper. The conversations, the sparring they’d engaged in had been her most genuine interactions in a very long time. After her confrontation with the residents earlier, Nora knew that this association, however brief, would be like cleansing her palate of all pretense.

She stepped inside. Light flickered from the muted television, illuminating the room every few seconds and highlighting the empty bed. Nora stared at the rumpled sheets, confused. Kelli was essentially immobile. Nora scanned the room. Her gaze stopped at the light shining from underneath the closed bathroom door. She moved toward it, hearing the unmistakable sound of a running shower.

A muffled, metallic crash came from the bathroom. Alarmed, Nora called out. “Ms. McCabe?”

A loud groan was her answer.

Based on that alone, Nora made her decision. “Ms. McCabe, I’m coming in.”

Nora did not hesitate as she entered the bathroom. She expected billowing steam. She expected…she did not expect this. Kelli leaned against the wall of the tiny shower with a metal crutches at her feet.

Kelli’s hair was plastered to her head, and her eyes were wide open and wild with pain. Her face was pale except the blotchy red patches on her cheeks and the blue tint of her lips. Her whole body trembled. Kelli was soaked and the Seahawks pajamas clung to her.

Nora was shaken to find Kelli like this, and she schooled her features to her habitual calm so Kelli wouldn’t detect her alarm. Her heart thudded against her chest, but she ignored it. She stepped forward, and Kelli, fraught with visible tension, shriveled back even further. Nora was not a master of social cues and interaction, but through the years, she’d learned to recognize fear and anxiety when she saw it. Now, was not the time to be formal. “Kelli.”

Kelli’s gaze finally met hers. Nora held up a hand. “I would like to make the water warmer.”

Kelli gave a jerky nod of her head. She watched Nora’s every move. Nora turned the knob and held her fingers under the spray until it increased to a desirable temperature. Then, she moved back to a safer distance.

She glanced down at Kelli’s feet. “You lost your crutches. Would you like me to get them for you so you can get back to bed?” Nora spoke with a slow, measured tone. Despite Kelli’s obvious pain, Nora wanted to give her a chance to assert some autonomy before she offered additional help.

“Can’t. Hurts.” Kelli licked her lips. “I…just wanted it to stop.”

Nora instinctively knew that “it” had nothing to do with physical pain, but she still had no idea what ‘it’ was. That, however, was not the point. “Did it?” She asked softly.

Kelli shook her head vehemently and croaked, “No.”

A pang of sympathy reverberated through Nora. It was an odd, peculiar feeling, and very much a shock to her system. She felt lightheaded, breathless, but continued to defy the emotions bombarding her. “Would you like something to help you sleep?”

Kelli looked away. She seemed ashamed. “I guess…I need to.”

“I’ll call a nurse—”

“No! They—”

“No nurse.” Nora interrupted, seeing the distress.

“You get it,” Kelli pleaded.

Nora swallowed as she held Kelli’s gaze. Something passed between them. A moment of trust that she hadn’t really earned, but it was there nonetheless. “If I bring a wheelchair, will you allow me to help you to get cleaned up and back to bed?”

Kelli’s eyes closed briefly, and the tension in her body dissipated. “Yes.”

Nora didn’t wait. She left immediately to gather what she needed. The on-duty nurses watched her warily but said nothing. Re-entering the room, she searched the small chest of drawers, and found another set of pajamas. Her hands were shaking. She looked down and tried to understand why. There wasn’t time to ponder.

Back in the bathroom, Kelli stood unmoving. Her eyes were still closed, her brow was wrinkled in misery, and water trickled around her.

“Kelli,” Nora murmured.

Kelli opened her eyes slowly.

“I’m going to turn the water off now.”

Kelli was silent as Nora twisted the knobs. The water stopped.

“Can you come toward me?”

Kelli shook her head and muttered, “No.”

Without another word, Nora moved forward into the shower away from Kelli’s injured side. “Lean on me.”

Kelli did so without hesitation. Her body was heavy, solid, but not unmanageable. Nora moved quickly. Within a few minutes, Kelli was dry and back in her bed. Nora picked up the syringe she’d left on the bedside table and administered it quietly.

Kelli lay there and her discomfort was obvious. Her eyes were closed again and her face was frozen in a grimace.

“The injection should ease the pain as well.”

Kelli didn’t offer any kind of acknowledgement that she’d heard what Nora said. As the silence stretched, Nora began to feel ill at ease. She backed away, intending to leave.

“Nora.”

Her name was a whispered husk, but it stopped her progress toward the door. Nora turned back toward the bed, and swallowed her momentary discomfort. “I’m here.”

Kelli gazed at her from under lowered lashes. “Stay…until I fall asleep?”

Nora nodded slowly and lowered herself into the chair near the bed. She cringed. Her clothing was damp. Their entire exchange…this entire situation was strange, but she felt compelled to see it through to completion. There would be time for analysis later.

CHAPTER 6

Nora’s kitchen was a staged and sterile environment. She used it regularly but cleaned it even more. The stainless steel gleamed and granite countertops glinted in the muted rays of sunshine that filtered in through the windows. Remnants from her meager breakfast remained on the counter, marring the otherwise pristine surface. It was an easy fix, however, to rid the counter of a coffee cup and a bowl that still had yogurt swirled around the edges. Yet, Nora stood immobile, staring blankly into something that only she could see. The latest incident with Kelli left her decidedly off kilter. She waited just like she had all week for unidentified emotions to either disappear or to make themselves known. It was a pointless endeavor.

Nora didn’t regret helping Kelli. That, in itself, was a ridiculous notion. She was a doctor, after all. It was the disintegration of formality that she disliked. Her response was necessary in the moment, but Nora had the distinct impression that she had seen more of Kelli that night than a stranger—or even her friends—were normally allowed to see. That’s what had shaken Nora. Before that night, she didn’t know she even possessed the level of gentleness she’d offered Kelli. And she did it without thought or hesitation. That disturbed her to the very core.

Nora blinked and checked the slim Rolex on her right wrist. It was 7:27 a.m.—twelve minutes off her normal routine. Nora was going to be even later than she was yesterday. Still, she stood with her hands on the counter, as if to brace herself against the onslaught of alien emotions. She heard her front door close. Her latest sexual liaison, which lasted well into the night, had been serviceable but offered only an ounce of respite. This situation obviously required more than a sexual release to return her to a more balanced state of mind.

The sound of a light trot caught her attention. Phineas was making his way toward his food dish, which teemed with fresh vegetables and grass pellets. The visitors who learned of his existence often expressed shock and disgust that she had a pig as a companion.

It was true that Phineas was different from the average pet, but he was loyal and more intelligent. Nora was sure he understood her, while no one else took the time to try. Affection snared her and, for a moment, so did envy. He was an affable creature and often kept to himself. Then, there were the times when he actually sought her out. He’d nudge her to garner attention. He led an uncomplicated existence.

Nora longed for something similar. At times, she even worked toward it, but there were hurdles in her path that slowed her progress. Rumors were one such obstacle. Perpetuated by residents who had their own messy lives to contend with, but that didn’t stop them from trying to pull Nora down with them. They never succeeded, and Nora wasn’t going to let them. It was almost easy. The whole thing had become utterly predictable.