Blush (13 page)

The word
discipline
flashed through her mind, and heat pooled low in her belly. As if he could sense it, the corners of Alex’s lips lifted in the palest ghost of a smile.

“What are you doing here?” Nervously, Maddy ran a hand over her hair. It had gone frizzy from the heat of the kitchen. She was suddenly painfully aware that she must reek of French fry grease and that she’d spilled cola down the front of her apron.

Alex studied her so intently that she felt naked, which didn’t help the clenching sensation between her legs.

“I’ve told you. I’m going to give you what you need. I’m only starting to learn what that is, but I do know that exploring yourself sexually is the key to relaxing you enough for me to find out.”

“I don’t see how you can know what I need when I don’t even know myself!” Maddy’s eyes widened as she realized what she’d said. Smiling as if she had pleased him greatly, Alex stepped forward, and the scent of his expensive cologne teased her nostrils and made her want to nibble on his earlobe.

“Well, there it is in a nutshell, Maddy. You need me because I will know what you need even when you don’t.”

She opened her mouth, then closed it again without speaking. What would she have said?

It would have been pointless to deny that Alex saw everything about her with uncanny clarity.

“Maddy?” She groaned out loud as Joe called out from the kitchen. “Everything all right?” Before she could reply, he was walking out from behind the counter.

When he saw Alex standing just inside the door to the diner, he came to stand directly behind her, planted his feet, crossed his arms over his chest, and scowled.

“What is he doing here?” Joe didn’t hide behind even the pretense of friendliness. The belligerence in his stance told Maddy that he couldn’t have cared less about being polite. He placed a possessive hand on her shoulder.

Maddy wanted to shrug it off, but she didn’t want to make light of the fact that he was trying to protect her. “Joe!” She felt her cheeks flush at his overt rudeness. Why was he being so rude? He was her boss. He was a friend.

She thought of their conversation earlier in the evening.

Oh man.

Maddy looked at Alex, trying to gauge his reaction. On the surface, he seemed amused, but his jaw was clenched. He didn’t like seeing Joe’s hand on her.

“I would like to speak with you, Maddy. Alone. It’s why I’ve come here.” Alex raised his eyebrows contemptuously at Joe. This was only the second time the pair had ever met, but clearly it was hate at first sight.

“She’s not done work yet.”

Irritated, Maddy finally did shrug Joe’s hand away and turned to frown at him. “Joe, I’m fine.”

He looked as though she had struck him.

A wash of guilt flowed over her, but it quickly evaporated in the face of her irritation. There was nothing between them but friendship. There never had been. If he wanted that to change, there were better ways than by entering into a pissing contest in front of her.

“I thought you said you weren’t seeing him.”

Though it didn’t seem possible, Maddy flushed even hotter, sneaking a glance at Alex on her way to looking at the floor. His face was expressionless. Somehow, not knowing what he was thinking made the situation worse.

“Joe, I’ve done everything up front except for the cash-out. May I go?” Maddy looked him straight in the eye as she spoke in a quiet voice.

His face registered disbelief. “Do what you want, Maddy,” Joe finally answered after a long pause.

She could tell that he was disgusted, and it pissed her off. None of this was any of his business. She opened her mouth to tell him so, but she didn’t want to create more fuss in front of Alex. “Thank you.”

Trying not to let her shock show that he was here again, wearing a suit that surely cost him thousands of dollars, standing in the small greasy-spoon diner, Maddy tried to ignore the kick start that just looking at him gave her. “Let me just go grab my bag.”

He nodded, shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his trouser pants. “I’ll wait right here.” He scowled at Joe, who glared right back. The tension was so thick in the room that, despite the discomfort, she wanted to roll her eyes to the heavens.

Only so much testosterone could fit in one room, and the diner appeared to have reached its limit.

“Maybe you should wait in the car.” She threw this over her shoulder as she scurried to the staff room, untying her apron as she went. She didn’t trust the two of them alone together—she was afraid that if she took more than a few minutes to gather her belongings, they would go at each other like wolves fighting for dominance of the pack.

Hastily, Maddy pulled her purse and cell phone from her locker. Taking a moment to quickly check her messages, she was surprised to see that Alex hadn’t texted her at all. From what she knew about him, that seemed strange, but she didn’t have time to ponder it now. She hurried back to the dining room, where Joe was wiping down a table that she’d already cleaned. He was polishing the Formica with such vigor that Maddy wouldn’t have been surprised to see a hole in the flat surface come morning.

Alex was standing exactly where she’d left him, watching Joe with just the slightest hint of distrust on his face.

“’Night, Joe.” Maddy offered a tight smile to her boss, even though she wasn’t sure he deserved one, after his behavior. He nodded once, curtly, then returned to his table.

The smile slipped off her face. Fine. If he wanted to be like that, she would just leave him to it. Maddy looked at Alex quickly before pushing against the glass door of the diner, the bells tinkling merrily over her head.

Although there was no need for explanation, Alex pointed to the sleek vehicle, saying, “This is my car.” Maddy didn’t know anyone else who would park a sleek black Porsche Turbo there. “Where would you like to go?”

She eyed him warily. He seemed sincere. “I get to choose?” She’d thought he would have planned out the evening already.

He smiled faintly, though now that they were away from Joe and the macho act had been dropped, Maddy could see that he looked tired. “This time. So. The casino or your apartment?”

“My apartment.” She didn’t even have to consider. Her apartment was familiar. She was stronger there. Besides, he’d already seen that it was less than fabulous—there were no secrets.

“All right.” Rounding the small car, he opened the passenger-side door, and after a belated moment, Maddy realized that he was holding it open for her.

“I need to drive. I’ll take my own car.” Alex scowled, but Maddy returned the expression. She wasn’t budging.

“What is it with you and driving?”

“It’s safer.”

This was true, but Alex’s face darkened. “You can trust me.”

Though she didn’t know why, Maddy somehow believed that she could. She hadn’t known him long, but she’d always believed that the ticking of a clock wasn’t a good measure of how well you could know someone.

Guilt was a little needle, pricking into the same soft skin over and over. “I think I can. But . . . I need to drive.”

Before he could argue further, she unlocked the door to her own car, which was parked next to his phallic symbol on wheels. She grimaced when the hinges of her driver’s door squeaked.

She turned her head to look at him before she turned over the ignition. Alex was still standing by his car, his arms crossed over his chest. But mixed in with his irritation was a hint of perplexity.

Maddy was pretty sure he wasn’t used to anyone disagreeing with him.

Before she could overthink the worry that niggled at her for upsetting him, she shifted her car into drive and pulled out of the small gravel lot. The chill that she’d had since Nathan’s phone call eased in the unexpectedly—even for Nevada—warm evening. As she drove the familiar route from the diner to her apartment, her mind wandered.

Joe. Before today, she never would have guessed that he had feelings of any sort for her. In fact, if he had let her know before she had ever met Alex, she might have reciprocated his interest—after a fashion, at least.

With Alex following her from two cars back, it was hard for Maddy to imagine him out of the picture. And that brought up her real dilemma.

He was a very persistent man and, truth was, he was wearing her down. She couldn’t keep protesting when what he was offering was what her very soul craved. If only she could discuss her one final hang-up.

He had offered her punishment. For some reason, and Maddy assumed it had to do with her guilt over Erin’s death, she thrilled to this idea. This translated into sexual need, though she couldn’t fool herself into thinking that the punishment was all that was drawing her to Alex.

She had been plenty attracted to him before she’d seen his dungeon.

The flip side of the coin was . . . did she allow herself to accept this punishment, when it brought her pleasure at the same time?

In her gut, she felt the need to do penance. Sex with Alex Fraser did not fit into even the loosest of definitions of the word. So if she pursued a relationship with Alex, she would have to admit to herself that she was doing it for herself, seeking what she wanted, for a change.

Maddy’s dingy, one-floor apartment building came into view. Time was up. She could already sense Alex’s presence, invading her space, taking her attention as she parked and pressed damp palms to her jeans.

This was it. Go for it or not.

She had no idea what she was going to do.

The dry heat stole her breath as she closed the driver’s door behind her. She watched Alex cross the lot toward her.

He was dressed entirely in black, his suit fitting him so well that it had to have been made especially for him. The black of his hair seemed to swallow the shine of the moonlight, and when he drew closer, his eyes were as blue as the center of a flame and burned just as hot as he looked at her.

“Alex.” Maddy twisted the hem of her T-shirt in suddenly nervous fingers. “I—”

The words she was about to say were cut off by his lips. Without warning, he crushed her to him. His movements were precise, strong, and graceful, as one hand slid behind her left knee and drew her leg up so that it was wrapped around his waist.

She gasped into his mouth as the soft center of her heat pressed into his pelvis. He was hard, and it still astounded her that his arousal was because of her.

Maddy was out of breath when he finally pulled back. She eyed him warily as he cocked an eyebrow down at her.

“What are you doing here, Alex?” She was nervous, but the feeling was only superficial. Once again, being around him eased the tight snarl of tension that had been her ever-present companion for so long.

“I thought I’d show you what you were missing.”

Maddy expected cockiness to follow his words, but instead she saw that he was being serious. He was aroused, but she could see from the look on his face that it wasn’t a game. The solid ridge of his cock rubbed through the thick denim of her jeans, and liquid heat surged to her center.

“I can’t get you out of my head.”

“That’s not fair.” Damn it, she couldn’t
think
when he was touching her.

His expression unreadable, Alex released Maddy’s leg and she slid down his body, feeling every ridge of his muscles along the way.

“I’ll use everything I’ve got if it means that I can have you.”

Her insides churned.
If he can have me
. He was talking only about sex. She had known it all along, but hearing it in so many words tasted like vinegar.

If she let herself, she could have feelings for him. The last thing she could handle was getting close to someone again.

So perhaps it was best that she was just a conquest.

She bit her lip as she looked up at him, not sure of what to say.

“I’m tempted to punish you right now.”

Maddy’s trepidation melted quickly into lust tempered with anger. “For what? Not signing your little document yet?”

The look on his face made her blanch with fear . . . not fear that he would actually harm her, no, but she knew he would do
something
, and her mind couldn’t even begin to process the possibilities of what that could encompass.

“Don’t push me, Maddy.” The set of his lips grew even more firm.

“Or what?” Her reserve flew out the window. She was so incredibly frustrated with her life, and the safeness that she felt around Alex made him the perfect target. “What will you do? Spank me? Lock me in your dungeon? Use your ropes and whips?”

His hands were under her ass, lifting, before she’d finished speaking. She clung to his shoulders for support, startled as he lifted her right off the ground. One hand slid up the hem of her T-shirt. Pulling the wire of her bra down until her breast plumped out over the top of it, he began to stroke his fingers over her nipple, which bunched up tightly beneath his touch.

“All of the above, Maddy, and more. I will do whatever I want to, for no reason other than the fact that it pleases me.” His lips were a whisper from hers, but though she closed her eyes in anticipation of a kiss, none came.

She moaned softly and tilted her head back. His lips trailed down to the hollow of her throat, where he pressed a kiss against the soft skin that lay in the crevice of her collarbone.

“Don’t pretend anymore, Maddy.” Bracing her against the door of her car, Alex tangled his fingers in the length of her ponytail and tugged gently. “Be honest with yourself. I know you want this. I can see it in every inch of you. I know what I’ve proposed is scary. But I’ll take care of you, take care of every single one of your needs. That’s the whole point of your ceding control to me.”

She trembled as he continued to work the fingers of his one hand over the achingly tight bud of her nipple. Everything that he said was true. She wanted this. She wanted him.

The idea of giving up control to him appealed to her on every possible level.

“Alex, I . . .” Maddy’s voice trailed off. The reason that she was shying away was likely not one that he’d think of.

“Just one night, Maddy.” His voice was husky as he stroked his fingers through the length of her ponytail. “Just let me show you what I can give you.”