Blush (Rockstar #2) (19 page)

“Let's just say he saved my ass when it needed saving.“

Sera nods.

“Alright,“ nurse, I strain my neck to look, nurse Sandy Baker, says, “let's get set up for typing.“

“Generosity is gi
ving more than you can and pride is taking less than you need.“

—KHALIL GIBRAN

I COULD SEE the light, I just couldn't reach it. It's so dark, like being in a tunnel. I see myself, my hair matted to my head with blood, wearing a hospital gown, running barefoot through the tunnel toward the opening.

“Lucy, you don't want to go that way,“ a familiar feminine voice calls out. “You can't get to where you need to go from there.“

I slow my running and turn around.

“I'm dreaming?“ I ask.

With a soft smile, Lily Manzini tells me, “No, not dreaming, Lucy, but if you keep going toward the light, you won't be able to get back to the people who need you.“

“I tried,“ I cry out, lungs burning with exertion, frustration, and exhaustion. “I can't get out over there.“

“You can,“ she tells me, running her hand over my hair after I drop to my knees. “You just have to be patient, something I know you're not good at.“

I give her a wry grin. “That's an understatement.“

She nods. “You need to rest for just a little longer, Lucy, before you can go back. You've been through a terrible trauma and your body and your little ones,“ she tells me, kneeling before me and pressing her hand to my abdomen, “they need a little longer to recover.“

“But they need me,“ I begin to panic. “I can hear them calling my name, Aunt Lily. I can't stay here while they suffer.“

“You can and you will.“

“But—“

“Lucy, you have given to everyone all of your life, now it's time to give to yourself.“

“What do you mean?“

“Give yourself time. Time to heal. Time to adjust to all the changes going on inside your body and in your life.“ She smiles that soft smile again. “I know you're having a difficult time with this touring business and with the Blush Baby title, but it will work out. Take this time to center yourself. Focus in your mind on what needs to be done to get where you need to go and then set a reasonable pace to get there. No rushing. No forcing things. Everything happens in its own time and it happens that way for a reason.“

“What reason?“ I ask, totally baffled that Sera's mom is standing before me, touching me, when she'd been murdered so many years ago. She seems so at peace, serene, happy.

She shakes her head and cups my cheek. “We never know the answers. Even now I don't understand why things happened the way they did, why we had to leave Serafina behind. I'm only thankful she survived.“

“She's not whole anymore, Aunt Lily.“

“She's far better than she was and that thanks goes to you and your parents. And she'll be whole again soon.“

I don't realize I'm crying until she wipes my cheeks.

“She would love to see you. So much.“

“She does,“ she tells me. “I meet her in her dreams along with her father. We do what we can and you've done what you can, but now, with your continued support, she needs to find her way. Her soulmate awaits her.“

“Who?“ I ask, more than a little curious.

She smiles wider this time. “You know I can't tell you that but rest assured he is her 'one' and he is everything she needs. He already is, even if she doesn't know it yet.“

“Well, when has anything been easy when it comes to Sera?“ I snicker.

“That's the truth, but when has anything been easy with you, as well?“

A little more than confused I open my mouth, then close it.

“You've sacrificed for everyone but yourself, Lucy. Take the time now to rest, recover, and become whole again. Do it for yourself and do it for your bambina.“

My head jerks up from where her hand still rests on my abdomen.

“A baby girl?“ A lone tear falls down my cheek.

She merely smiles, neither confirming nor denying.

“You need to walk back, Lucy. Let their voices and the light of their love guide you, but take your time getting there. Don't strain and don't rush. Do it in your time, not theirs. They'll still be there when you awaken. I promise,“ she tells me, helping me stand.

“Will she believe me if I tell her I saw you?“ I ask.

“She will. And now I must go.“ She looks to the light. “Remember, Lucy. Patience.“

She starts to pull away, her hand slipping from mine. I reach out to her.

“I'll visit you in your dreams, Luciana.“

“Ti amo, bella mia Lily.“

“Ti amo, cuore tenero.“

She walks toward the light, her essence becoming more and more translucent until she vanishes.

“Tender heart“ she called me, and I admit that I am. I sigh as I look away from the light and into the darkness. Patience, she said. Hell. I don't have any but apparently I need to find some and quick like, so now I'm going to take my time moseying on back to wherever it is I need to go. I'm pretty sure it's where that glow of red is in the sky, but I'm tired now, so tired.

A shooting pain splits through my head and I fall backwards, landing on a plush sofa that wasn't there a second ago. The pain, it feels like someone is inside my brain zapping it with a Taser then stabbing it with an ice pick. I cradle my head in my hands as foreign hands pull me gently back to lie on the sofa. All I see is a pinpoint of piercing light surrounded by blackness so I close my eyes. A hand rests on my forehead, gently brushing my hair back. So relaxing. The pain begins to ebb and eases into a dull throb.

I take a deep breath and the warmth of the blanket surrounds me. I have no idea where I am or how these things keep happening, but I need to listen to Aunt Lily. I can't go back to where I need to go. Not yet. I don't have the strength to get there.

“Jesse,“ I whisper as I drift off to sleep.

“The best thin
gs in life come in threes, like friends, dreams, and memories.“

—UNKNOWN

SHE LOOKS SO pale lying there in that bed. My wife. My heart. My life. I walk to the chair beside her bed and pull it close. I reach for her hand and it's cold. I hold it between both of mine, then kiss her knuckles. Why does all this bad shit keep happening? They say it all happens in threes, right? This should be the end then. We had the whore, the broken hand, and now this. That's it. Done. Finished. We don't need any more bullshit. We've been through enough, Lucy's been through enough.

“Baby,“ I begin, “you need to come back to me. Get better and come back. I can't do this without you,“ I shake my head, resting my forehead against her hand. “I don't know how and I don't want to try. You are everything that is good in this life,“ I look up into her face, her beautiful face, too pale and too still. “I love you, Luciana.“

“Do you think she can hear you?“ Xander asks, startling me.

I don't look away from her face. “I'd like to think so which is why I'm going to keep talking.“

Xander pulls up a chair to the other side of the bed. “She's become one of my best friends, you know.“

I nod. “I know, Xan. You've become the same to her.“

“She's so small, Jesse.“

“But fiery and full of life. She'll make it through,“ Sera tells us as she pulls up another chair. “That's my sister and she's got the stubborn genes. She won't give up without one hell of a fight, especially since she knows there's a little baby swimming around in her tummy.“

A smile pulls at one side of my mouth. “A mini-us.“

“What?“ Sera asks.

“Instead of a mini-me, it's a mini-us.“

“I love that.“

They gave up the fight at the nurse's station and Administration didn't even bother to try to keep us out of here. I made sure Lucy had enough space to fit us all in because there isn't one of us that was going to leave. Not for a single second. And with Grandpa Russo as well as Regina and Anthony coming, well, we had quite the crowd and being as we're in the ICU wing, we don't want to disturb the other patients.

They just moved us a little further down the hall and gave Lucy two nurses of her own per shift. There's nothing a little money can't buy and if it gets my wife the best care she can get, I'd pay every last cent I have to, to make sure that happens.

Her brow furrows.

“Do you see that?“ I ask.

“What's happening?“ Xander asks as Lucy's hands begin to twitch.

Sera yells for the nurse when Lucy's legs begin to shake and then her body seizes up.

“Oh fuck,“ I whisper, as the nurse and doctor run in. One barking orders and doing whatever the fuck he's doing while the other fills a syringe full of something and injects it into the IV. Within seconds Lucy's body stills and relaxes. The doctor tells the nurse to push something or other and looks to me.

“Mr. Kingston. That's the third seizure your wife has had since she was brought in. We're going to need to do another MRI to make sure there isn't any more swelling or bleeding. If the swelling increases, we may have to do a procedure to decrease the pressure on her brain. If there's bleeding, we'll need to perform surgery.“ He's all no-nonsense and I can appreciate that, especially now. I want it straight up.

I nod. “What procedure?“

“If the swelling increases, we'll need to drill holes into Luciana's skull to relieve some of the pressure.“

“Jesus,“ Ben curses.

“And the other?“

“We'd have to find the source of the bleed and repair it. It could very well mean opening her skull,“ he tells me.

I drop back into the chair and nod my head, looking at Lucy's face. “Whatever it takes, doc,“ I say and meet his gaze. “Whatever it takes.“

He nods.

“We're going to do an ultrasound to check on the baby shortly. Do you know when Luciana's last period was?“ he looks at me.

“Well, truthfully she hadn't had one since we were together.“

“She had one after the weekend with you but I think that's the last one she had,“ Sera tells us.

“Which would be about four months or so?“ Xander fills in.

The doctor nods and makes a note. “The ultrasound tech will be in shortly.“

I nod. “Thanks.“

Fifteen minutes later, Ethan and Kennedy come strolling in with my sister Janalee trailing behind, each of them carrying take-out bags and cups of coffee.

“Here you go, Jess,“ Janalee says, handing me a cup of coffee.

“Thanks.“

Her eyes are focused on Lucy. “How's she doing?“

“She had another seizure and they'll be doing a MRI in a while. They're also coming to do an ultrasound,“ I tell her, glancing at her from the corner of my eye, a smirk forming on my lips.

She nods then freezes. “Wait.“ She spins toward me. “What?!“ she all but shouts.

“What's wrong?“ Kennedy asks, coming to see what's going on. Everyone closes in.

Janalee grins. “My big brother here was just updating me about Lucy and telling me that they'll be doing…“ she trails off as someone walks in pushing a portable ultrasound machine. Janalee laughs. “They'll be doing an ultrasound.“

Kennedy's brow furrows but the rest of the gang starts murmuring.

Kennedy looks at me. “Dude. Did you not use protection or what?“

I chuckle. “It's not a bad thing. We found out yesterday.“ When his frown doesn't lift I reassure him. “It's a good thing.“

He lifts a brow. “Yeah? She happy about it?“

I nod. “She is.“

“Well, alright then,“ he nods and bumps fists with me. Janalee rolls her eyes at Kennedy and murmurs, “Dork.“ Kennedy gives her a look.

“Mr. Kingston. I'm Toni, the ultrasound tech,“ the petite blonde tells me, not blinking an eye at all the rockstars in the room. Giovanni Russo must have some pretty deep fucking pockets is all I can think.

I nod at the lady.

“So,“ Xander begins, giving the poor unsuspecting tech his best grin, “what are you going to be looking for?“

“Really, dude?“ Jace murmurs. “Babies, moron. Fucking babies. It's a portable ultrasound not a satellite.“

“Fuck off, man.“

Toni smirks, then notes everyone surrounding the bed. There're about fifteen of us and her eyes go wide. “Um, are you okay with everyone being in here?“ she asks.

“So long as you don't flash Lucy's vag, Jesse's cool with it,“ Meggie tells her.

She looks to me for confirmation and I shrug a shoulder.

“Well, alright then. The more the merrier.“

She pulls the blanket and sheet down to Lucy's waist and then pulls her gown up. The sheet is pulled down pretty low and Xander winks.

I give him a look. “What?“ I ask, knowing I'm going to regret it.

“I totally knew she waxed or shaved,“ he murmurs with an appreciative grin.

“Really?“ Janalee asks him. “X, this is so not the time to be a perv.“

“Whatever. Lucy appreciates my perviness and I know she's in there smirking at me right now.“

I smirk when he elbows me. “Dude, you know it's true,“ he prods.

I nod. “Likely it's true, Janalee.“

“Oh Lord. She supports his antics?“

“Hell,“ Xander scoffs, puffing up his chest, “she encourages it.“

Janalee looks at me disbelieving. I nod and she shakes her head. “I'm going to love her. I'm already half in love with her because she's so good for you which means she's one incredible lady.“

“She's more than that. She's everything,“ I whisper.

Everyone pauses, Toni glances at me with a soft smile. I clear my throat.

“Alright, Mr. Kingston,“ Toni begins. “I need to put some of this on your wife's abdomen, then I'll use this wand here to see if we can get a look at your baby—“

“Mini-us,“ Sera interrupts.

“Pardon?“ Toni asks.

“Mini-us. We call the baby mini-us,“ Sera clarifies.

“Oh, that's super cute,“ Toni says, setting up the machine and turning it so she can get a look at it. I move closer to get a look. “First, let's see if we can hear a heartbeat. I know the heartbeats were strong in the ER.“

I look at Lucy's monitor and her heartbeat is regular and stable.

It only takes a minute before we hear a whooshing. Toni grins.

“There, Mr. Kingston. That's the sound of your baby's heartbeat.“

I grab Lucy's hand. “You hear that, baby? That's mini-us's heartbeat,“ I whisper.

Her fingers twitch and I freeze, my gaze flying up to her face. Her lips quiver. Oh God, not another seizure. Please, God. No.

Her lips move again. I look up at Xander.

“Do you see this?“

He nods, his mouth gaping. “Lean the fuck in there man. I think she's trying to say something.“

I lean down. “What is it, baby? Talk to me,“ I say through watery eyes.

“Tis.“

“What?“ It's muffled and garbled and I have no idea what she's trying to say.

Lucy's lips stop moving and her face goes slack, looking peaceful now.

“Uh,“ Xander scratches his head. “Tis the season to be jolly?“

“Dick,“ Sera chides and smacks the back of his head.

“What?“ he smirks.

“You know Lucy'd have smacked you just like that.“

“Fucking A she woulda. You've got that sisterly thing down pat,“ he tells Sera with admiration.

“Mr. Kingston?“ Toni calls out. “Let's take a look.“ She holds what she calls a wand to Lucy's stomach, poking and rolling it around in that goopy lube-looking stuff and she focuses on the monitor.

I look and I don't see anything.

“There,“ she says, pointing.

I step closer, still holding Lucy's hand. “That peanut-looking thing?“

Toni smiles. “Yes, exactly. But wait.“ She frowns.

Oh man. That's not good. My stomach leaps up into my throat. I lean down and kiss Lucy's hand. I don't know who I'm reassuring: her or me.

Toni points again. “See there?“

“What's that?“ I ask.

“Dude!“ Xander shouts and Toni jumps.

“What?“ I ask her.

“Oh boy,“ Sera says, smiling wide.

“Ooo-kay, “ Toni says with a smirk, her eyes meeting mine. “And, Mr. Kingston, do you see this?“

“Holy Mary mother of God,“ Trace says, making the sign of the cross.

Cage, Damian, Ben, and Meggie all kiss their thumbs, their hands closed and murmur an “Amen.“

“What?“ I ask again, my frustration showing.

I look at Toni who is printing things off of the portable machine and she then looks at me.

“Let me explain.“

“Please do,“ I plead.

“Here's a picture of your baby,“ she tells me, putting the photo on the bed by Lucy's hip.

I nod and grin seeing the 'peanut'.

She puts another photo down. “Here's another picture of your baby.“

“We get more than one?“

“If you're lucky, dude,“ Xander exclaims with a wiggle of his brows. What the fuck is he talking about?

“And here's another picture of your baby.“ Toni sets a third picture down on the bed.

My brow furrows and Janalee is bouncing next to Meggie.

“I swear he's not an idiot,“ Janalee announces. “He's just a little slow sometimes.“

Kennedy laughs and Meggie snorts.

“Fuckers.“

The room erupts into chuckles and snickers.

“Wait!“ I say, my heart beating a gazillion miles an hour. “Hold the motherfucking phone.“

“Language around mini-us,“ Ben chides. “The fuck dude.“

I laugh. “You realize you just swore too.“

“There's no way that peanut can hear me from over here.“

Toni steps up. “Oh, you'd be surprised at what babies can hear in the womb.“

Ben's face pales. “Oh man. Sorry, little one.“