Boarding School (12 page)

I guess it was at about this time when I decided that I didn’t care anymore. Nothing seemed to matter to me any longer. They had stripped me of my clothing and then they had stripped me of my dignity. I had been handled and penetrated in every way imaginable. They had turned this little bathroom into their own private whorehouse with me as their chief whore, and I just couldn’t find it in me to give a shit about anything any longer. They could turn me into a blow job machine now, and I wouldn’t care. And as it turned out, that was exactly what they did to me next.

Artist turned the handle on the wall to make the water temperature hotter. In my despondent state, I hadn’t noticed that the hot water had begun to run out.

“Ok, Clint. See ya.” And with that I could feel Artist’s legs slide down my thighs and then leave me to sit by myself again. An instant later I could hear the metal rings scrape as my second sex partner ever left me to remain behind in the shower. And then the rings scraped again. So now, apparently, I was alone once more and expected again to sit quietly under the running water.

“The asshole didn’t even say thank you,” I muttered to myself as I sat there, under the stream. So after that, I began to brood until I heard the metal rings scrape yet again.

I don’t remember much about the third or the fourth guys who took their turns with me that night, other than I believed at the time that they had been the two guys who had brought me to the gym in the first place. Neither of them actually said very much to me once they were in the shower with me. I do recall, at least, that each of them got rough with me at the beginning of their sessions. Because when the time came for things to begin, they each slapped me first and then grabbed my head or my hair harshly before they plunged their rock-hard erections into my mouth. It was as if all in the world that mattered to them was their chance to ejaculate in my mouth—which they both eventually did. And just as it had been with Artist, each of these guys forced me to swallow afterwards.

Despite my best efforts to please these guys, I was not able to be as aggressive with the third or the fourth guy because my body and my spirit had simply become worn out. In fact, toward the end of my job on the fourth guy, I felt as if the vise-like hold my lips had on his penis was the only thing that was holding me up. It seemed to me that if I were to let go of him suddenly, my body would then collapse in a heap on the shower floor and I would be unable after that to get back up. But finally I had finished with them both and then the time arrived for the fourth one to leave me.

“Ok, now don’t move and the next guy will be in here in a minute,” he said gruffly as he turned the hot water handle up the rest of the way for me.

By this time I had slumped my body against the back of the chair while my legs were stuck out and spread wide apart in front of me to hold me in this position. My head was flopped back from exhaustion and much of the shower was now hitting me directly on my face. I had found a spot between the sprays where I was trying to catch my breath, and I felt utterly incapable of going on. “Please…” I pleaded with the fourth guy before he scraped the metal rings, “.. .please let me go now. I can’t do any more of these tonight. The leader said there’s one more of you coming in here, but you guys have used me up. I can’t do any more. Please, can’t I go back to my room now?”

But the fourth guy said nothing more to me. All I heard after that was the sound of the metal rings scraping once and then they scraped again, and then I was by myself once more.
The asshole didn’t even answer me,
I thought.
And after all I did for him.

And so I waited for the next guy to come in. As I felt the water pelt my face, neck and chest, I could tell that things for me were just as dire as I had described to the fourth guy. My strength was simply not returning fast enough to make another session possible. If the next guy were to walk in on me suddenly, the best I’d be able to do would be to just lie here against the back of the chair and allow him to abuse me in whatever way he would want. Because by now, my energy was depleted.

A few minutes later, I was still by myself and the water was beginning to turn cold. I reached up behind my head to turn up the hot water handle and found that it was already up as far as it would go. “Hello?” I decided to try to find out what was going on. “Is anybody coming in still?” By now it had been a lot longer of an interval between perpetrators than any I had experienced so far. “Hello…o?”

I was still too afraid a minute later to take any initiative to find out what was going on. But when the last of the hot water finally ran out, I knew I would not be able to stay under an icy shower for very long, so I turned off the water and listened for signs of life on the other side of the bathroom door.

After yet a few more minutes, I stood up.
This is silly,
I thought.
They can’t expect me to stay in here all night.
And so I lifted my eye shades and peered around the shower curtain. I was surprised but pleased when I saw that the bathroom door had been left open and the lights in the coach’s locker room were now turned off. “Well what do ya know? They left,” I said out loud in case someone was still around.

While I continued to drip, I walked timidly across the bathroom floor and out into the locker room. Once I had reached the spot where I figured I had taken the leader’s roundhouse, I realized that there was nothing anywhere for me to put on. “My clothes are gone,” I announced to no one. “I can’t believe it. The bastards didn’t even leave me a towel.” It was maddening. My T-shirt, my underpants, and even my flip-flops were gone. In disgust, I pulled the eye shades off of my forehead and looked at them.
Could I use these to cover myself?
I wondered. I then threw them aside. The very idea seemed too absurd to even consider. And since there was nothing else I could do—“Oh, what the hell”—I went ahead and walked out into the gym and opened up the side door to the building.

By this time, I figured it was nearly three in the morning. As I stuck my wet head out the door and into the cooler night air, I could see that everything outside was still. By now the upperclassmen who had initiated me into their version of Academy life were gone and probably back in their rooms getting ready for bed. Since there were no signs of anyone around—there were still no lights on in any of the windows in the other buildings—and since I figured I had no choice anyway, I stepped outside all the way and began to walk across the upper campus toward my dorm… completely in the nude.

My feet have always been a bit tender on the bottoms, so it was fortunate for me that I was able to walk mostly on grass all the way back. Only twice did I have to cross small stretches of cement, and suffer through the pain of stepping on small pieces of gravel. And even though I made it all the way back into my hall without being seen by anyone, I had no doubt that some of the upperclassmen I had been with that night lived in Ulster Hall and had watched me make my way back home through their darkened windows on the second floor.

When I opened the door to my room, finally, and walked in, I found my clothes lying on my bed. Apparently the bigger kids had dropped my things off after they had left me. Except for this, everything else in my room was as it had been when I had left it. Though it had shifted some by this time, moonlight was still coming in through the window and Matt was still sound asleep. Apparently while all of the events of this night had taken place, my roommate had never awakened once.
Incredible, \
thought to myself.
I’ve heard of sound sleepers, but this kid takes the cake.

Now that I had been running around naked and wet for a while, I was beginning to feel chilled. So I pulled my towel down off of the hook where I kept it and finished drying myself off. I then closed our door and put my underpants and T-shirt back on and quickly got myself back under my covers. Once I was settled, I found it comforting to be back in my own bed in my own room. Yet, as relieved as I felt to be among my own things once again, there was no escaping the fact that I and my things were still surrounded by the Academy and those upperclassmen who tonight had taken me into a world I had never known could exist.

There was a lot now that I was going to have to sort out. For instance, was tonight just a one-time thing, or was it the beginning of many more such occasions for me. And how was it that these guys could be so well organized and operate with such impunity at the Academy. There were many questions like this which I needed to find the answers to in a hurry if I was going to be able to figure out a way to keep these perverts from taking over my life—if that indeed was whet they had in mind.
But I’m too wiped out now,
I thought.
In the morning after I’ve had some sleep. Yes, in the morning I’ll be able to think more clearly.
And then a moment later, I was asleep.

* * *

Even though it was four hours later before the piercing sound of the wake-up bell snapped my eyes open again, it seemed to me as if only four minutes or so had actually passed since I had fallen asleep. And as I became aware of the ache in the muscles in my jaw, and the profound weariness which seemed to adhere my body to my mattress, I decided that more than ever at this moment, I wanted to skip breakfast and my morning classes, so I could stay in bed until lunchtime.

“Hey?” At last, Matt was awake.

“Mornin’, Matt,” I replied.

“Do you wanna use the bathroom first, or should I go now?” he asked.

“You go first.” I was content to stay where I was. Besides, I had peed in the shower on the fourth guy’s legs right while he was ejaculating so he wouldn’t notice.

“Oh. I was hopin’ maybe you’d wanna go first.” Matt then yawned and pulled his covers away and sat up. “I don’t know why, but for some reason I’m feelin’ really tired this morning,” he admitted.

“You’re tired?” I was incredulous. “You slept like a brick all night.” “Yeah, I know, it’s weird. I shouldn’t be tired at all now, but I’m just dragging.” Matt then planted his feet on the cold linoleum and stood up. Then, as if he suddenly understood that there might be a deeper meaning to what I had just said, he looked at me and spoke again. “Why… were you awake last night or something?”

“Yeah, for a while.” I wasn’t ready to tell Matt about what had happened to me just yet because, well… I was embarrassed at the idea of explaining how I had wound up having sex with four guys in a shower. Also, until I knew more, I didn’t see the need to scare him.

Matt then began to cross the room so he could head for the bathroom. “Really? Well, I was out completely,” he said with sweet ignorance. Matt then opened the door and walked out into the hall.

I know,
I thought to myself as I watched my roommate disappear into the bathroom across the hall. I then closed my eyes again and began to think about the events of only a few hours ago. The bright light of the daytime and our morning routine made it all seem so impossible to me now. As if what had happened was just too fantastic to have ever taken place. But it had taken place. My achy jaw and my tender behind were constant reminders to me that it had really happened.

I suppose some might wonder at this point why I wasn’t rolling on the floor in abject despair over the perverse liberties the bigger kids had taken with my body. In the eyes of many, I suspect, I should have been inconsolable by now. And upon reflection, I ‘m not sure I can offer an adequate explanation for how I was managing to keep myself together, other than to point out that I have always tried to take adversity in stride whenever it has come my way. To be sure, I was upset. How could I not have been? And to risk the use of a cliche’, I did feel violated. But I knew that a wild release of emotions would never get me out of the mess I was now in. Instead I understood instinctively, I suppose, that I had to think my way through this.

Also, I have never been the emotional type to run and blurt out information about things that are bothering me to the first sympathetic ear I can find. Besides, the events of the night before were serious and despite the normalcy of my morning, they had utterly changed the ground rules for my life at the Academy. So when Matt and I walked over to the dining hall a short while later, and took our seats at our assigned table, I quietly inspected every person we encountered along the way to see how they responded to me, and to judge whether any of them were harboring lurid thoughts toward me behind their eyes. Unfortunately, all I managed to observe that morning were a lot of bloodshot eyes. And I guess no matter how normally I tried to behave by treating everything around me as if it was just another day at the Academy, my silence was soon noticed, at least, by one. So as we concluded the blessing and then began yet another breakfast of cold cereal, Frank spoke to me.

“What do you mean?” I asked back.

“Well, usually you’re so chipper in the mornin’s. In fact, sometimes it’s really annoyin’ how awake you are around here. But today, you’re lookin’ like a gloomy Gus or somethin’. So I figure somethin’s gotta be eatin’ atya. That’s all.”

“Yeah,” Matt then chimed in. “You have been sort of quiet so far today,” he now observed.

I knew that the things that had happened to me had to be exposed, but a discussion at breakfast about how I had just been taught the finer points on giving blow jobs, would accomplish nothing and likely make things worse for me than they already were. So I dodged the question. “Oh, I just didn’t sleep very well last night, I guess.”

“Really?” Frank seemed surprised at my answer. “Yeah there’re a lot of people around here who have trouble sleepin’ sometimes. I know, becuz sometimes I wake up at night too and I can’t go back to sleep for a while.”

I turned my head and looked directly at Frank in astonishment. Did he know what had happened to me? I didn’t think he was involved because I hadn’t heard his voice in the gym, but had he seen me walking back to my dorm in the nude, perhaps? His comment only served to heighten my already growing sense of paranoia, and caused me to consider right then the idea of getting up from the table and fleeing from the dining hall. But at the same time, these were questions which I wanted very much to know the answers to. And so my breakfast became a maddening stretch of time wherein I kept hoping for Frank, if he really had seen anything, to tell me what he knew, yet at the same time I was terrified that a candid discussion would ensue, and I certainly didn’t want to get involved in anything like that.