Body Rush (11 page)

“Yes, but they weren’t strangers, were they? They should have said so when I explained my reason for being there to begin with.”

Roni’s eyes widened. “You told them about the bet?”

“Not exactly. Apollo, er, Dane wanted to know why I was there. I told him I’d fantasized about having sex with a stranger. I was honest. He wasn’t.”

“Maybe he was just trying to give you what you wanted,” Jeanette said. “You know, letting you believe they were strangers.”

“I don’t know. Maybe,” Lydia grumbled. “Still, he should’ve told me.”

“Yeah, he should have.” Roni sighed. “I’m sorry, hon.”

Now Lydia felt bad. “It wasn’t all their fault. I shouldn’t have been there to start with. I shouldn’t have—”

“Stop flogging yourself,” Roni ordered. “Your mother used her beliefs to twist you up inside and that’s where a lot of this self-recrimination is coming from. Stop trying to be the daughter she always wanted and start being your own person. She moved on with her life and left you behind, Lydia. You didn’t leave her.”

Lydia knew in her heart, Roni spoke the truth. “You’re right. It’s just…I’ve never felt so much pleasure. My lord, sex has never been like that for me. Never. Even now I can’t seem to stop thinking about it. Dane was so gentle, but forceful too. How messed up is it that I can’t stop thinking about him? I should hate him for what he did, but instead I want him again. What sort of woman am I?”

“Normal. Tell me this. Since it was that good, then what’s the real reason for the tears? Is it because you’re starting to fall for Dane?”

Lydia shrugged. Roni had it right; Lydia was falling for him. She suspected she’d started falling the minute she’d interviewed for the position as his paralegal.

Roni’s lips quirked. “I’ve noticed you’ve not mentioned how great it was with Mac or Trent.”

“They’re all great lovers, but I guess it’s Dane’s deceit that’s left me feeling so betrayed.” Lydia took another drink of her cooler and looked over at Jeanette. “I really hate when she goes into psychology mode on me.”

Jeanette laughed. “Don’t we all.”

Roni flipped her hair behind her back and smiled. “It’s all part of my charm.”

“You aren’t nearly as charming as you’d like people to think, Roni,” Jeanette said. “Remember that time you spit on Jimmy Linedecker in third grade?”

“That little dweeb kept pulling my ponytail. He deserved worse.”

They all three laughed. After several Jimmy stories and a few more coolers, Lydia looked at the two women and tears sprang to her eyes. “I don’t know what I’d do without you guys. Thanks for coming over. I really needed the company.”

Jeanette patted her knee and Roni waved a hand in the air. “You’d do the same for us, honey.”

It was true. They’d always looked out for each other. Jeanette and Roni were the sisters she’d never had. Lydia moved Socrates onto Jeanette’s lap and stood. She planted her hands on her hips. “Okay, who wants ice cream?”

They passed the rest of the evening finishing off a half-gallon of ice cream and a bag of cheesy chips while they watched a horror movie marathon on cable. At three in the morning, she’d had to usher them out the door. They’d only agreed to leave because she’d sworn she was okay.

It wasn’t until she slipped into bed with the lights off, finally alone with her thoughts, that Lydia realized Roni had been right. She’d been hurt because she cared. It hadn’t just been sex for her. It’d been much more. And for some crazy reason she wasn’t nearly as upset with Mac or Trent. It was the thought of Dane betraying her that had shards of glass cutting at her heart.

He’d starred in so many of her fantasies. She’d always wondered what it’d be like if he were to ever see her as a desirable woman, rather than an uptight paralegal. Well, she’d gotten her wish. Unfortunately all she’d been to him was a good time, a novelty. He felt bad, sure, now that she knew the truth. He was concerned and wanted to make it right, but not because she meant something to him.

She would have to quit, find a new job. Oh, she could have eventually faced Mac and Trent, could’ve even forgiven them. But she could never look at Dane and know how good it felt to be held by him, to be touched by him, to know his kisses, how perfect their bodies fit together. Leaving was the only sane thing to do now that she knew her heart was involved. Besides, he would be glad she left. It would save them all from further embarrassment.

10

D
ane tried to focus on the e-mail, but after reading the same subject line four times, he gave up. It was no use pretending an interest in work. All he could think about was Lydia. The devastation on her face as she’d sprinted out of his office kept running through his mind. She’d have every right to hate him, to never speak to him again, but the very idea made him want to howl in rage.

It’d been two days. Two damn days of not seeing her bright smile, not teasing her until she blushed. Not hearing that hated
Mr. Gentry
pass through her pouty lips. He’d tried calling her. He’d even gone to her apartment. She refused his every attempt to make it right. He was at his wit’s end.

“Hey,” Mac said as he poked his head into his office. “I hate to bother you, but I was wondering if you’d decided on what to do about Lydia.”

Since Lydia hadn’t returned to work things were going to hell around the office. He hadn’t realized how efficiently she’d handled her job. Without her around, the past couple of days had turned chaotic. He felt like a total shit for taking her for granted.

Dane dragged his fingers through his hair and groaned. “I’m not hiring anyone else. Lydia is still my paralegal.”

After Mac was seated in a chair across from him, he handed Dane a resume, then sat back. “At least hire a temporary replacement.”

Dane pretended to scan the woman’s qualifications, but he really didn’t give a damn. He didn’t want to work with anyone but Lydia. He handed the paper back to Mac. “I’ll think about it.”

He nodded. “You’re getting behind. You can’t do your job and Lydia’s both.”

Like he needed the reminder. “Yeah,” Dane grumbled.

“She still won’t speak to you?”

“Hell no. She won’t answer my calls and she refused to see me last night when I stopped over at her apartment.”

“She’s always been a stubborn one,” Mac reflected, scratching his chin.

Dane couldn’t agree more. Hell, Lydia’s willfulness had been half the appeal. She wouldn’t bow to just any man, and giving up control wouldn’t be an easy thing for her either. He’d ached to watch her submit to him, but thinking back to that night he wasn’t sure who had actually run the show. He was pretty sure she’d turned him inside out with her whispered pleas and tantalizing body. Christ he missed her. It was insane to need someone as badly as he needed Lydia. He should leave her alone. Let her get on with her life, but even the thought burned like acid.

His fax machine started up and Mac quirked a brow. “You expecting something?”

“No, I’m not.” A sense of foreboding skated down Dane’s spine as he rolled his chair backward and grabbed the paper from the tray. He scanned it quickly, then shot out of his chair. “Son of a bitch!”

Mac stiffened. “What is it?”

Dane threw the paper on his desk, then reached in his left drawer and took out his wallet and keys. “I’ll be back.”

Dane saw Mac lean forward and grab the paper before he cursed and got to his feet. “Don’t go to her like this, man. You’re too worked up. You’re liable to alienate her more.”

Dane clenched his fist around his keys as he glared at Mac. “Alienate her more? She faxed me her resignation! Enough’s enough. She can damn well face me. I’ve let her hide long enough.”

He didn’t wait around for Mac’s reply. Dane stormed out of the office, his muscles coiled tight. All the blood in his body seemed to head south as he imagined paddling Lydia’s sweet ass for even considering leaving him so easily. Better yet, he’d tie her pretty wrists first, then spank her. After her flesh had turned a nice shade of pink, he’d fuck her until neither of them could stand.

Dane knew he’d restrained his true nature when he’d coaxed her into giving her passion free rein. This time, he’d show her exactly what a dom does to a defiant sub.

Lydia had groomed Socrates until the chubby cat had gotten annoyed enough to scamper off to her bed in the laundry room. She’d reorganized her kitchen cupboards, steam cleaned her carpet and she’d even alphabetized her bookshelf. It was useless. All the busy work in the world couldn’t erase the fear spiraling through her.

She’d gone to an office supply store and faxed in her resignation. It’d been a huge step in the right direction, or so she tried to convince herself. She’d tried not to wonder about Dane’s reaction. Would he miss her at all? With her luck he already had her replacement picked out. Then again, what did she care? She wanted to move on, hadn’t that been her plan? Forget about that incredible night at Kinks and look for a new job. One that didn’t involve three handsome lawyers who had a penchant for wearing leather hoods. Her doorbell rang and Lydia dashed across the room, only too happy for the interruption. As she peeked through the peephole, she sucked in a breath and jumped back.

“I know you’re in there, Lydia. Open up or I’ll break the door down.”

Dane’s deep voice had the power to make her body vibrate with need. It wasn’t fair that a voice could be so sinful, so enthralling. “I thought I made it clear I don’t want to see you,” she shouted back.

“I don’t give a damn what you want. Open the door.”

Lydia crossed her arms and called out, “No!”

“Don’t push me. You know I’ll do it.”

She chewed her lower lip, her heart at war with her brain. She knew what she should do: keep the door locked and wait for him to give up and leave. Her soul seemed to ache for him though. In fact, her damned fickle heart was leaping with joy at the idea of seeing him. In the end, there really wasn’t a choice. Dane was too hardheaded. She’d seen how he could get in the courtroom. If he said he would break the door down, then that’s exactly what he intended to do.

She sighed and stepped forward, then flipped the deadbolt. The instant she turned the knob Dane pushed the door wide and forced his way inside. He slammed it shut behind him and Lydia instinctively stepped backward, the dangerous look on his face turning her blood to molten lava. Oh, God, now he resembled the masterful Apollo. The gleam of sexual awareness in his dark eyes and the sensual tilt to his lips were reminders of how easily he could turn her into a begging wanton. His wrinkled white dress shirt stretched over a muscular chest and taut abs, and the black slacks couldn’t begin to hide an erection like Dane’s. Her mouth watered.

He dropped his briefcase on the floor next to the door and said, “Did you really think you could quit?” He moved closer, his steps slow, purposeful. “Just fax me a damned piece of paper and I’d be forced to let you walk away from me?”

“You don’t have a choice.” Lydia swallowed the lump in her throat and moved around the chair. Putting furniture between them seemed like a smart idea. “I quit, end of story.”

“The hell it is,” he growled as he stopped and crossed his arms over his chest. “I’ve given you space, Lydia, but it’s time we talk.”

“There’s nothing to say.”

He pointedly glanced at the chair and quirked a brow. “Afraid, little Lydia?”

Afraid of her own ability to keep her hands off him, yeah. “You don’t scare me, Dane. You’d never hurt me.”

“Then quit acting so skittish and come here.”

She stuck her nose in the air and kept her position. “I’m fine right here. Say what you want and leave. I have things to do.”

A muscle in his jaw jumped. “Like look for another job?”

She shrugged, as if his presence was a nuisance. “That’s only one of the things on my to-do list.”

“You aren’t leaving, so forget it. And I’m about tired of you acting like I raped you the other night. You enjoyed us, damn it. I know you did.”

Her face heated at the reminder of just how much she had enjoyed their attentions. “I never said you raped me.”

His face softened a fraction. “It was wrong not to tell you who we were, baby. I hurt you and I’ll have to live with that for the rest of my life. But I can’t bear to think of you leaving me. The thought of never seeing your pretty smile again has my gut in knots.”

Pain shot through her. “Why, Dane? Why did you go through with it? I deserved better, don’t you think?”

Dane moved and it took every ounce of willpower she possessed to keep from running. He stepped around the chair, his movements slow, as if afraid of spooking her if he came at her too fast. When he was within inches, Lydia inhaled, taking in his masculine scent. God, she missed him. It wasn’t fair that he smelled so good, looked so delicious, while she resembled something out of a horror movie. It seemed to emphasize how far out of her own league she’d ventured.

“There are no excuses for my actions. I know that, baby.” He touched her cheek and Lydia very nearly leaned into him. She held firm, but barely. “So help me I didn’t do it to hurt you. It wasn’t some damned stunt to make a fool of you either. I saw you sitting at that table with Roni and my brain closed down. All I could think about was getting you in my bed. I would’ve done anything to make that happen.”

“Including pretending to be someone else,” she reminded him, still angry at his betrayal even though his nearness was causing her anger to slowly melt away.

He grimaced. “If I had it to do over again, I would tell you. As God is my witness, I would tell you before I ever brought you to that apartment.” He stroked her lower lip and Lydia groaned. “You have to be honest with me too, sweetheart. Would you have gone with me? Knowing it was me, would you have let me have you?”

Lydia grabbed his wrist and forced him to move his hand away. He did, but his reluctance was etched into the hard planes of his face. “I don’t know. I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done.”

“Why did you come to Kinks?”

Lydia knew that question would come eventually, but she still wasn’t prepared to tell him the reason behind her presence at the club. “I told you. Sex with a stranger.”