Bogota Blessings (9 page)

Carlos met them outside the mission and took the blanket-wrapped body. Mateo spoke to the workman for a moment, clasping the man’s shoulder in a tight grip. Kayla watched the exchange, looking away when she noticed the tears in both men’s eyes. Seeing their sadness over the loss of a young life would only make her cry again, and right now the little girl holding tightly to her needed her.

Maria stepped outside and hurried over, wrapping an arm around Jorge and guiding him toward the mission entrance. She paused before entering and glanced back. “Kayla, bring Claudia inside.”

Kayla glanced toward Mateo, and he indicated she should go with Maria. Then he turned and followed Carlos as the workman went back to the house across the street. Prayers for Mateo’s comfort flowed from Kayla’s heart as she headed inside. The shadows in his eyes, the sadness in his body language, everything about him said dealing with Juan Miguel’s murder was harder on him than he wanted anyone to know. She prayed Carlos would be able to help him through whatever memories from his own past had been resurrected. If only she could help him deal with the grief of the current loss as well as those in his past.

Several hours later, Kayla stepped out of Maria and Carlos’s apartment on the ground floor of the dormitory. Claudia had finally fallen asleep on the cot Maria had placed inside, her little eyes red and swollen from her grief. Jorge had been dispatched to the hospital with another volunteer to get his injuries treated, but he hadn’t returned. The only update they had received was that the doctor was sure the boy suffered a pair of cracked ribs in addition to numerous bruises and a few cuts.

Desperate for any sense of peace she could find, Kayla headed for the roof. She should probably stop and talk to Angie and Paul, who had both checked on her a few times throughout the afternoon and evening, but she needed time to talk to God. The day’s events had shifted something inside her, and she no longer had the strong sense of doing good she had before.

She stepped onto the roof and moved away from the door, her gaze going to the cloudy sky. Sighing, she looked out across the dilapidated neighborhood, her heart heavy. Where before she had seen hope for giving the kids who lived here a better future, she now saw how overwhelming the problems for the street children really were. Two weeks of making a house safe and pretty for a few orphans was a drop in a leaky bucket when it came to fixing the problems that led to the children being on the streets in the first place.

The door opened behind her, and she turned around as Mateo stepped outside. He slowly closed the door, leaving them in darkness broken only by the ambient light of the city around them. She met him in the middle of the roof, and he tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“How are you doing?” he asked softly.

“Hanging in there.” She looked past his shoulder toward the house they were remodeling. “Everything the mission does, spending day after day trying to help the helpless...Do you ever wonder if it will ever be enough? If the small victories are worth the heartache?”

“Giving these children a brief moment of happiness in an otherwise bleak existence is worth dealing with the heartache.” Mateo wrapped her in a hug, and she leaned against him as weariness hit. “Every child is important to God, and it is the mission’s goal to help as many of them as possible. We can’t save them all, and it is always terrible when one loses his life, but we must keep going. There are many other children who rely on the meals we provide, the safe place to come and just be a kid, the help in gaining an education. They need us. Even if they don’t make it off the streets, at least they know someone cared about them.”

“I think I care too much,” Kayla whispered as she slid her arms around his waist. “Until today, I was living in some kind of fantasy world where life for the street children wasn’t really as bad as everything I’ve heard. But after seeing what happened to Juan Miguel and knowing what he kept from happening to his little sister, I can’t deny the truth of what they deal with. The horror of it all.”

Just remembering Claudia’s heart-wrenching crying for her brother brought tears to Kayla’s eyes. Mateo held her tightly, and she could feel the tension in his muscles as he spoke. “It is impossible to care too much. So many people ignore these children and care nothing for them. Yet you see them and care about them. You feel grief when one is lost, and you have shared in the joy of making a home for them. That is what everyone who works with the mission experiences. Yes, it can be heartbreaking, but think about Claudia. Would you rather you had never met her and avoided the heartache of seeing what happened to her brother? Or is it better that you are here to care for her and love her as she grieves his loss?”

Peace seeped into Kayla’s soul as she thought about the girl. “I wouldn’t trade getting to know that little girl for anything. If I could, I’d take her home with me. Since I can’t, I want to be sure she has a safe place to live where she can be loved and grow up knowing she is worth something.”

“You can rest easy knowing she is not alone. I will make sure she never has to live on the streets again.” Mateo stroked her hair, soothing her further. “I think you can understand why I stay here, working with the mission that helped me. God has put me here to help children like Claudia. I know what they live through every day because I have been there, and I have to do what I can to make their lives better.”

“I’m so thankful the children have people like you to care for them.” Kayla leaned back and met his gaze, her heart racing as she realized what she was thinking. “I wish I could do more than spend a couple of weeks fixing up a house for them. Their needs will continue long after I go home.”

“The mission always welcomes volunteers.” Mateo smiled and traced a finger along her jaw. “And if you choose to come back for any length of time, I will teach you Spanish so you know what the children are saying to you.”

“I’ve always thought I should learn Spanish.” Tingles skipped down her spine under the warmth in his gaze, and she couldn’t resist satisfying her curiosity. “Would you like it if I came back here?”

“That would make me very happy.”

He brushed his lips across hers in a brief kiss that nearly melted her knees.

“I have come to care about you a great deal, Kayla.”

“The feeling is mutual.” She sighed, wishing they could stay like this forever. “But I don’t know what to do. I have my job and my friends and my family back in the U.S. Here, there’s you and the kids and everyone else at the mission.”

“Think about where you feel led. Pray for God to give you direction on what to do. Only He knows where you are meant to be. You must follow His will, wherever that leads you.”

Kayla nodded and stepped back, feeling a sense of loss as she moved away from the strength and safety of his arms. “Will you pray for me? That God will let me know what I should do?”

“Of course.” Mateo took her hands and met her gaze with a smile. “We can start praying right now. After all, ‘if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by My Father in heaven.’”

“Matthew 18:19,” Kayla murmured. She’d become well-acquainted with the verse as she prayed for direction when she heard about the mission’s need for help renovating the new children’s home. Holding tightly to Mateo’s hands, she said, “With both of us praying, God will definitely let me know where I should be.”

7

For the next three days, Claudia refused to leave Kayla’s side. The girl had latched on to her with a strength that worried Kayla and left her wondering what would happen when she went back to the United States. Despite Mateo’s assurances that he, Maria, and Carlos would care for Claudia and that she would be all right, the worry persisted. In an attempt to make the adjustment easier for the child and to keep her out of the way while they replaced the banister in the new children’s home, Kayla sent her to play with the other children at the mission. The reprieve from having a constant six-year-old shadow felt like a weight lifting from her shoulders, but the weight of worry for the girl’s future still pressed down.

Kayla removed another nail holding a baluster to the top of old handrail and looked down the stairs at Paul, who was working his way up from the bottom. “Have you ever wondered what happens to the kids after volunteers like us go home?”

“Not really. I assume they continue to receive the same kind of care we’re seeing them receive.” Paul pried out a nail and moved up a step. He paused before going to work on the next baluster. “Are you worried about your small shadow?”

“Yeah. I mean, she just lost her brother, who she’s finally admitted was the only family she had, and now she’s attached to me. What’s going to happen to her when I go home?”

“She’ll probably be sad and miss you, but she’ll adjust eventually.” He grinned and lifted his hammer. “Besides, your boyfriend will still be here. She’s pretty attached to him.”

Kayla moved down a step. “Mateo isn’t my boyfriend.”

“You sure about that? I’ve seen the two of you together. You guys spend almost as much time with each other as Claudia spends with you. Plus there are all those evening trips up to the roof, and the two of you coming down, like, an hour later looking closer than ever.” Paul tossed a few bent nails to the growing pile on the floor below. “What happened to you not having romantic flings?”

“It’s not a fling, Paul. I have a feeling it’s going to continue even after we go home.”

“And how do you expect that to work? A relationship spanning two states is hard enough. But one where each half of the couple is on a different continent? It’ll never last.”

Kayla blew out an exasperated breath and reminded herself he was only saying these things because he cared.

It didn’t help.

“How long it lasts is between me, Mateo, and God. You know as well as I do that if God intends for this relationship to happen, the different continents thing won’t stop it.”

Paul laid his hammer aside and climbed up the stairs, taking a seat beside her. “Just be careful and pray to make sure it’s what God has planned for you. I don’t want to see you get hurt, Kayla.”

“I don’t either, but hurt is a part of life.” She sighed and tossed a bent nail to the floor below. “I’m praying that God will give me some idea of how to make a relationship with Mateo work, because I feel like that’s what He wants for me.”

“Have you talked to Mateo about it?”

“Yeah, and he’s praying too. Now if God would just give one or both of us a clear answer, everything would be peachy.” Kayla looked at her friend. “To bring this conversation back to where it started, do you have any suggestions for how to make life easier for Claudia when I leave?”

“Well, since you seem to want to prevent her from getting upset when you go home, you could always adopt her and take her with you.”

Kayla rolled her eyes as Paul chuckled, but she had to admit that the suggestion did have some merit. “Since becoming a single mom has never been on my to-do list, I don’t think that’s going to happen. Of course, if God tells me to take the kid home, I’ll do it.”

“What?” Paul’s eyes widened. “I was joking.”

“Yeah, but Claudia does need a family. I’m not sure I’m it, but stranger things have happened.”

“Don’t rush into any decisions on anything that will to change your life. We came down here to fix up this house so orphans will have a safe place to live. Getting romantically involved and adopting street kids wasn’t part of the plan.”

“Plans change, but I’m not going to rush into anything. Now, let’s get this railing finished.”

Paul went back down the stairs, and Kayla pulled out another nail. Now that the idea of adopting Claudia had been planted in her mind, she couldn’t shake it. But adopting the girl and taking her to the U.S. didn’t feel right.

Kayla paused and stared at the hammer in her hands, startled by the solution that came to mind.
Do you want me to move to Colombia, Lord? What about my life back home?

The only response she got was a verse from Mark chapter ten.
“Whoever does not take up their cross and follow Me is not worthy of Me.”

****

The house was almost finished, with just a few walls left to paint. Soon they would be able to give more orphans a safe place to live. Mateo wished he could feel only joy at the accomplishment, but he couldn’t shake the disappointment about Kayla returning home the day after tomorrow. He glanced across the lunch table to where she sat with Claudia on her lap, and his heart broke. Those two had become his family in a very short time, but they weren’t really his. God still hadn’t seen fit to give him a realistic solution to the dilemma of wanting to be with Kayla and needing to stay in Colombia. Yes, he could ask her to relocate, but after seeing the way Juan Miguel’s death affected her, he couldn’t ask her to give up a safe, secure life in America.

So he sat, watching the woman he had come to love teaching the child he loved the English names for items on the table. With God’s help, he would recover from his broken heart, but he wasn’t sure Claudia would fare as well. The little orphan girl was thriving under Kayla’s care. Although she still missed her brother, she had found a mother figure to help her move on. How would she survive losing the mother she longed to have?

Mateo grabbed the cup of coffee Maria had given him and took a sip of the hot brew as he prayed for wisdom. God had a plan in all of this. He had to believe that; the only other option was to lose his faith in the God who had saved him and given his life a purpose.
Dios mio, could You please share a little of Your plan with me so I know whether to follow my heart or distance myself so her leaving won’t hurt quite as much? Por favor, Señor.

As everyone prepared to leave the table and get back to work on their various tasks, Carlos cleared his throat. “Since the children’s home is so close to completion, and our American volunteers have worked so hard to make the renovation happen, I think they deserve the afternoon off to see some of Bogotá’s beauty.”