Authors: Mercedes Keyes
It was a mad house!
Bart had to escape it to his private study room.
There
is where no one was allowed, it was his own little hiding place. His nook, besides his garage. Kids were running up and down the stairs, two fights had broken out. Three arguments and the laughter and chatter of too many women at once. Kathy Ann, Shanna, Sylvia, Meribel and his wife. Then there were young women, Kathy Ann's Jenny Lee, Derrick's Sasha and Shawn's Angela... they kept up a fine racket. Not to mention all the young men. Jake's Benjamin, Kevin & Paul. Derrick's DJ, Marcus, Luis, Shawn2 and Joseph. His son's, Derrick and Shawn - Jake had yet to show up. The other two were loud enough with laughter, kidding around, either stirring up the women, or stirring up the young men, in addition to teasing the young women.
Bart stood sighing, dressed in his suit as he listened to the racket outside of his door.
He stood with his left hand resting against his fire place, glancing at the wall that held all of his son's trophy's, plaques, ribbons, medallions and awards. The entire wall was filled. Fifteen foot across, from the floor up, trophy's galore. He walked along it looking at them all. Pictures decorated the wall, all three sons in various shots from school sports. Football and basketball. Among them, trophy's from DJ... yes, that one too was his. He'd learned long ago to accept. He'd learned long ago, that a child's veins didn't have to flow with his blood to be considered his own.
He looked over all the trophy's from Shawn... so far, those from him out numbered the others. Even though DJ and Marcus still had them rolling in.
Bart stood taking a very deep breath... he was proud of them, one and all. Especially his Shawn. Regret often gripped him concerning him. Considering all that he'd put him through, he'd come out on-top. He was a strong, independent man. A good head on his shoulders. He'd left home all those years ago and made a right success of his life. Bart rubbed his chest because he knew, that his son stayed away all that time because of him. He'd been a bit crazy back in the days of Shawn. Fighting too many battles in his heart, in his head. There had been no one to release it on... and so he'd transferred so much of his anger to his son. At the time, he'd thought him not his son... but the product of a Negro - Edwin Piercey.
Guilt ate at Bart like a living wild thing.
Knowing, that he might as well be guilty of pulling the trigger and killing the boy.
He'd been getting all kinds of anonymous letters, phone calls and notes telling him about Gert and her activities. For the longest he had prayed about it. No matter what prayer he petitioned of the Lord, none gave him the strength to end it with her. She was a wild and vivacious exotic fantasy... and he would do anything to keep her as his. For the longest he tried to ignore the talk. Ignore the rumors. Yet, each visit back home, she grew more and more distant from him. He knew he had to do something. Receiving another anonymous note, he'd taken leave and snuck home and watched her for himself. Saw her with him, with his own eyes. Jealousy shot through him like a hot poker but he was too much of a coward to confront her right there with Edwin Piercey present. He could not bare it if she chose him, the Negro over him. Anguished over it, he waited until she'd gone home. He'd followed Edwin for some distance, he'd had a gun on him, his intent to shoot him. Yet, seeing the young black man stop and look behind him, fear etched on his features, froze his hand. He was the son of a Baptist preacher, how could he possibly commit such a sin and kill this man? He couldn't go through with it, and thus, changed his mind, deciding to
just
threaten him, warn him to stay away from Gert, when suddenly lights had lit up on him.
To this day... Bart lived with the screams of Edwin Piercey filling his head. The horrific things they did to him. All he had to do was step forward, fire his weapon and make them stop. He hadn't, he'd finally turned his back unable to bare another moment of the horrendous torture. He'd driven all night back to the fort. Sick to his stomach, ill at what he'd seen, at what he'd let happen. The next morning, they left for Vietnam. Later... he'd gotten a letter from Gert saying that she was with child. He'd battled so many feelings, but in the end, he felt it was a penitence from the Lord. For his sin of letting that man die the way he had, he thought his punishment was to raise his child. To give him his name. To make a man of him. To give him a steel solid back bone. After seeing the effects of the war first hand, the ugliness of man, the extent to which man could destroy another. He came back determined that no one would do to his family what'd he'd seen in Vietnam. If then he must raise Edwin Piercey's son... then the price he would exact from him, was to guard his family with every fibre of his being. As the military stripped a boy of his innocence and built in its place a man... so he had with Shawn.
Shawn was seventeen years old when Bart realized his error. Up until then, Shawn was Edwin Piercey's son. If it hadn't been for the accident that would have killed Shawn, Bart still might not know that Shawn was his. They'd been using a bulldozer to widen a self made pond on the property that had been filled with catfish. Shawn had been driving the mechanical digger, going to the edge, dropping the bucket and dragging out the dirt and sand to widen it, he went in too far and ended up flipping forward into the pond, trapped in the bulldozer. Bart and Derrick had been there, both had leaped into the pond and desperately worked to free him and bring him back to the top. Pulling him out of the water, they had practically ripped his shirt from him. Bart had pumped his son's chest, breathed into his mouth and pumped it some more as Derrick ran to get the truck, pulling it up to where Shawn lay as Bart fought to save his life. With Shawn's arms stretched over his head, not breathing - is when Bart spotted the birth mark for the first time. The sight of it had stunned him so, that it froze him for a moment. Right then like a blinding punch to his face, he realized that the young man laying close to dying, was
his
son. The very blood that flowed through his veins, was in fact his own. Bart had fought like mad to save him. Scared that just as he discovered the truth, the Lord was once again punishing him for the things he'd done to him. Revealing that this boy he'd been blessed with was his, but now... he would be taken away.
When Shawn started coughing, started coming around... Bart had battled with sobbing. He'd never cried before his sons, but that time, he'd almost given in. They'd brought Shawn home, alive... but that night, in bed... while Gert lay sleeping, Bart lay with his arm over his eyes, sobbing softly... as all of his sins came down on him. Now... any child that came through his door as a part of this family... was his, no matter what color their skin, or the blood that flowed through their veins.
A knocked sounded at the door. Bart turned and looked as it cracked open and Shawn's head poked in.
"Come in son." Bart invited him.
Shawn smiled and walked in wearing his suit all save his jacket. It was white and he wouldn't be putting it on until the last moment at the church, where all the men were ready to head to. He closed the door behind him, respecting his father's private room.
"We're about ready to head for the church dad."
Bart stood staring at his son.
His
son.
Shawn stood staring at his father. He was starting to show his age. Bushy brows, grey head of hair, craggy features and rheumy eyes, for some reason, now more so than ever. He glanced at his father's throat and caught the swallow, that repeated as if he were struggling with something. Finally he said. "You... you happy boy? She... this one... she make you happy? You sure?"
"As sure as sure can be. I love her, perhaps... as deeply as you love my mother."
"Aye... and it is true, I have loved that woman... sometimes... maybe when I shouldn't have." Bart slipped off in thought, then looked at Shawn again.
"You... you're a good son... my good son. You - make me proud... and I know... I ain't a man... much for words... but... there were times, when I should have used more of them, instead - of ... -( he lifted his fist slightly - his way of saying what he couldn't to Shawn) - instead of... well... you know."
Shawn felt his chest ache, his mouth filled with moisture as his eyes pooled.
Bart walked slowly up to him... swallowing as his own eyes filled up, "You... I..." Bart swallowed and tried again, "I just... well... I ummm, so - sorry ... you know... if... I ever - hurt you. I was crazy in - in my head son... back then... know what I'm saying?"
Shawn nodded unable to look up at his father, ashamed of the tears rolling from his eyes, because he wasn't suppose to cry.
Bart shocked him by reaching up and hesitantly wiping at one of his cheeks, "That's all right son... I have... my moments... when... well... I cry too."
Shawn reached up and swiped them away quickly, looking at his father, he blew to calm his racing heart. They stood staring at each other, both wanting to hug but neither could make the move. It would be awkward at best, so they stared into each other's eyes... knowing that what stood between them... was good enough.
"I guess we best get going hm?" Bart offered, feeling better for saying what he had.
"Yeah... I'm getting married today."
"For good this time." Bart stated what he expected.
"Most certainly, for good this time."
*
"I'm so jealous of you! I didn't get to wear the gown!" Meribel complained good naturedly.
"Only because you couldn't fit it sweetheart." Gert said as they added the finishing touches to Sylvia's hair, done into a stunning bun with an extension that made it fuller and a broach was added, with a small veil.
"I know... my boobs and ass was too big!" Meribel admitted grinning.
Shanna gave her a look to say that hadn't changed much.
"I saw that look cringa! That's okay, long as my husband ain't complaining!" She asserted.
Shanna laughed, "What did I say?"
"It was that look you gave me! I seen you glance at my ass! My honey says J-Lo's ass got nothing on mine!"
Shanna was laughing as Kathy Ann stood combing through her hair again, unsatisfied with the way it looked. She was wearing a blue pants suit instead of a dress, Kathy Ann didn't do dresses.
"In that case you better keep it then. Stand up now Sylvia so I can get a look at you." Gert stated listening to Shanna and Meribel tease each other as they were accustomed to doing.
"Did you... you know... talk to Jake?" Sylvia asked a bit worried.
"I finally got a hold of him this morning, don't you worry... everything will be just fine. So take a deep breath and get ready to marry my son."
"What's going on with Jake?" Meribel asked.
Kathy Ann looked at them through the mirror, she knew all about it. Had tried to talk Jake out of it herself. It didn't matter what they had against Shawn, what he was trying to do would hurt Sylvia... she didn't deserve to be dragged in the middle of their baggage.
"He's been coming on to Sylvia." Shanna told her.
Meribel looked up at Sylvia.
"Does Shawn know?"
Sylvia shook her head.
"And we don't want him to know. There's no need, I've taken care of it." Gert explained.
Sylvia noted the look on Meribel's face - it made her heart beat heavy in her chest. Meribel couldn't just sit there and say nothing, this kind of thing always scared her. "I gotta say something here... mama Gert, I love you... but... she should tell Shawn."
"Are you kidding me... no... that's the last thing she should do. Shawn will overreact, you know the history between those two."
"I know but... what if something happens and he finds out?"
"How's he gonna find out?" Gert asked.
"Well... what if Jakes tells him!?"
All the women fell silent, then looked at Sylvia. She sat down feeling nauseated.
"I can't go through with this, I can't do it."
"What are you saying?!" Gert asked.
"I have to tell him, I have to face whatever will happen."
"Look... lets just get through the wedding. Let's enjoy the reception, and afterwards... when the two of you are away on your little honeymoon, and Jake is no where in reach, you tell him then... but not now... just wait one more day. Tomorrow, you two will be together... and alone... tell him then... but its too late now honey... the men are at the church and waiting, and I'm certain its filling up as we speak. One more day... what is one day?"
Sylvia took a deep breath... yes, tomorrow when they were together, alone as husband and wife... she would tell him everything then. When as Gert said, Jake was no where for him to go for... then, alone, she would deal with Shawn... she would have to, because she could not live with it another day.
Now that the men were gone, the women could organize the vehicles and get the remaining kids left to travel with them into the cars and vans. Butterfly jitters would not leave Sylvia be, she kept drilling it into her head, to just get through this day and then she could lift the incredible burden from her and be free of the secret.
When they arrived at the church, she was stunned at how full the parking lot was. She was taken in through the side entrance and into the room where she would wait until the music began to play. Shawn's father waited there for her, he would be giving her away. A rush of emotions swept over her because there was no family of hers there for her. She had a father that was not there. Had known how to contact him, but did not... because she felt he would only make excuses not to come, or - just tell her no... she hadn't wanted to deal with it, so she just didn't tell him, and didn't ask.