Boo Hiss (30 page)

Dustin felt anxious. He’d always admired Butch Parker, and since he was a little kid had heard the stories about him. But Leonard’s words kept ringing in his ears.
Trust nobody. They’re out to hurt your snake
.

“What’s the question?”

“You claimed you found Bob and Fred as a baby in the wild near your home. But I know for a fact that’s impossible, that you couldn’t have found them in the wild.”

Dustin stood up, sticking his hands in his pockets. “Why do you know that?”

“I’m right, aren’t I?”

Dustin didn’t answer.

“I know this, Dustin, because rosy boas are native to California, not Indiana.”

Dustin looked at Butch, then at Wolfe, then back at Butch. “It’s none of your business.”

“Did you steal it?”

“No! I would never steal anything!”

“Then how did you get it?”

“Leonard was right! You all are out to hurt the snake.”

“No, Dustin, were out to find the truth. Things are not adding up here, and until we find the truth, this situation is not going to be resolved.”

“It doesn’t matter anyway. They’re gone for good. They haven’t been seen for weeks now.” He shook his head. “They don’t know how to survive in the wild. They’ll never make it.”

“Where’d you get the snake, Dustin?”

Dustin stayed silent.

“Tonight, my dad’s house was broken into. They’re looking for suspects right now. If I were you, I would tell us right now where you got that snake, because if you don’t, you’re going to be added to the list of suspects who have a history of stealing in this town.”

Dustin looked into their eyes. They doubted him. Both of them. He had a reputation to uphold, and it wasn’t as a thief.

“I bought it off eBay.”

“EBay?”

“A version of eBay, for pet lovers.” Dustin looked away. “I can show you the receipt if you want.”

“How did you get it?”

“Just like on eBay You bid for it. This guy had found it, his son had wanted to keep it, but he thought it was too freaky, so he put it up for
auction. I outbid everyone and bought it for a thousand bucks.” He shrugged at their open-mouthed looks. “What? I live with my mom. What else am I going to do with my money around here?”

Butch looked at Wolfe, then at Dustin. “Okay. Interesting. Dustin, have you told anyone outside this town about your lost snake?”

He shook his head, but then said, “Besides the sloop.”

“The sloop?’

“It’s what we call it. It stands for snake loop. It’s an Internet chat room for snake lovers.”

C
HAPTER
28

W
OLFE SLEPT IN
, though it didn’t do much for his fatigue. He’d tossed and turned all night, worried about his father-in-law, worried about Ainsley worrying, worried about the fact that the play was going to be a total disaster, and just to top it all off, worried about his lifeless career.

When he wasn’t busy worrying, he was going over the lecture he was preparing in his head for Butch to get real and stop deceiving people with this charade he’d created. He couldn’t believe the way Dustin had practically fallen down and worshiped the guy. Sure, Butch got the information he needed from Dustin, but wasn’t he exploiting the kid’s idealism just a bit?

Then he’d go back to worrying, and Oliver’s anger toward him consumed the rest of the night.

Downstairs, he found Ainsley busily working at making food for the play. “Good morning … or should I say afternoon?”

He laughed and hugged her. “It’s not quite that bad, is it?”

“Well, I’m getting ready to offer you a sandwich instead of scrambled eggs … “ She looked up at him. “You still seem tired. Are you okay?”

“I’m fine. Just hoping I don’t make this play more of a disaster than it already is by forgetting all my lines.”

“The play’s not good?”

“It’s … different.”

“Hey, change is good. I’m not even making brownies for tonight. I
decided to try a few new recipes, just for something different. And tomorrow, for Thanksgiving, I’m cooking a ham.”

“You are?”

“I am. A ham. Me. Can you imagine? So you want a sandwich?”

“No. I’m going to go see Oliver this morning.”

“I saw Melb at the store yesterday, and she looked great.”

“Was Oliver with her?”

“No. But she did say that Oliver has been worrying her lately, that he’s been acting strangely, pacing all around the house like a nervous cat. Maybe he’s growing a little anxious about the baby. I’m sure it will pass.”

“I’ll see you after a while.” Wolfe pecked her cheek and got in his Jeep, complete with a new carburetor, to drive to Oliver’s house. Butch’s warning to tell no one about the snake seemed a distant memory. What harm could it do, really? Especially if he could get Oliver away from Melb, he knew Oliver would keep the secret, no matter how mad he was at him.

He knocked twice on Oliver’s door before he answered. Oliver’s expression was nothing short of surprised. “Wolfe … what are you doing here?”

“Can I come in?”

“Um … now’s not a good time.”

“Oliver, I know you’re mad at me, and I can understand that. I promise I won’t keep you long. Do you have to get to work?”

“We always close the week of Thanksgiving. Listen, why don’t we—

“Is Melb here?”

“No. She’s out getting some last minute items for the Thanksgiving dinner.”

“Great. Oliver, there’s something I have to tell you.”

“Wolfe—”

“I know you’re mad at me. Just hear me out. Please.” Wolfe edged around Oliver into the entryway. “We’re friends, and that’s the least you can do.”

“I’m not mad. Really. I’m over it. I know you didn’t mean any harm. Seriously. We’re fine.”

“Oliver, I came over to tell you that you don’t have to worry about the snake.”

“Why?”

“I can’t give you the details, but the snake is definitely not here in your house, and is in a very safe spot.”

“Really?”

“I wouldn’t lie to you. You’re my friend, and I feel horrible about what happened. You, after all, were just an innocent bystander. Can you forgive me?”

Oliver was nodding, but Wolfe noticed a trickle of sweat. It glistened at his temple, then rolled down his cheek and under his chin. He slapped at it like it was a mosquito.

“What’s wrong?” Wolfe asked.

“Nothing. Off you go. I’ve got a ton of things to do. Thanks for stopping by, though. Glad about the news.”

Oliver had turned Wolfe and was pushing him back toward the door when someone behind them said, “Well, well.”

“Oh no,” Oliver groaned.

Wolfe turned to find Leonard Tarffeski standing a few feet behind them, a slap-happy grin crinkling up his menacing eyes.

“Tarffeski.” The very word sent a shiver down his spine. He looked at Oliver. “What is he doing here?”

Oliver threw up innocent hands. “What? I thought I had a snake in
my house. I knew if my pregnant wife found out, she’d have my head and then move me to another state. What was I supposed to do? It only made sense to call the snake hunter, no matter what you and Butch thought about him.”

Tarffeski was still grinning. “Hmm. I can only imagine. So you say the snake is safe and sound, is it?”

“Look, Tarffeski, you’re not getting to the snake. It will be returned to the owner. You have no business in Skary anymore. You should leave.”

“It’s a free country, the last rime I checked. I’ve grown rather attached to this little town. Maybe I’ll stick around for a while. Love the coffee.”

Wolfe looked at Oliver. “I can’t believe you called him!”

“Hey, I’m the innocent bystander in all this. Remember?”

Wolfe looked at Tarffeski, then at Oliver. This was just great. Now he’d really made a huge blunder. A scorching heat strangled his neck; he thought he might be having an anxiety attack. He quickly turned and went out the door, rushing to his Jeep.

It wasn’t yet 10:00 a.m., but his nightmare was in frill force.

Martin gulped down another cup of decaf while he sat in his car outside Lois’s house. He’d been there for two hours, but then realized maybe not everyone in the world rose as early as he did. He’d not checked in at the office yet, but right now, he didn’t care much about work. His loyalties were divided, and he knew it. He couldn’t concentrate on saving the town and loving Lois. One or the other had to give.

So he’d decided to come over and talk to Lois. To wear his emotions on his sleeve. He was going to declare his love for her and make her decide. He couldn’t go on competing with the sheriff, no matter how
much he respected the man. Maybe it was because he did respect him that he was forcing a decision. Whatever the case, he wanted Lois to know how he felt, just in case he hadn’t made it clear before.

But since he’d arrived so early, he’d been having second thoughts. He’d fetched coffee twice just to kill time and try to get a clear head. He’d chosen decaf so he wouldn’t be jittery, but that hadn’t helped. His skin was crawling like a mountain of ants.

And now he had to go to the bathroom. Great.

He opened his door and stepped out carefully. For two hours he’d been trying to gauge whether Lois was awake, but he’d seen no signs of life. However, the curtains were drawn, so there was really no way to tell.

It was ten. Everyone was up by ten. His stride was long and confident as he made his way to her front door. He knocked with a pleasant, gentlemanly tap and jutted his chin up just a notch for a show of subtle, manly confidence.

But she didn’t come. Maybe she wasn’t home. Maybe she was already at the theater, getting ready for tonight’s performance. He was nervous about tonight. He wanted to do his best, but Lois was so much on his mind that he couldn’t think straight.

Suddenly the door swung open. Lois was standing there in her pajamas, with her sleep mask perched on top of her head like a pair of sunglasses. She gave him a lazy smile.

“Hi Lois. I didn’t wake you, did I?”

“Well, sunshine, what brings you by? You haven’t been here in a while.”

Martin hedged. Sunshine? She’d never called him
that
before. Maybe things were going a lot better than he thought. He tried to act cool. “Well, we’ve had a lot going on, you know, with the play and all.”

“It’s a nice night. Maybe we should go for a walk.”

“After the play, you mean?”

“There you go again.” She blinked awkwardly against the mornings sun. “What do you want from me?”

Martin swallowed. Was he supposed to tell her now? Like this? Well, she was asking.

“I want your love, Lois. I want to love you for the rest of your life.”

“New Mexico.”

“What?”

“You heard me.”

“You want to move to New Mexico?” Martin frowned. “Don’t you like Skary?”

“I’d do anything for you, sunshine. You know that.”

Martin covered his mouth, because he wasn’t sure what was getting ready to come out next. He thought it might be a marriage proposal. He’d always wanted to be the kind of guy that seized the moment.

“So you love me too?” Martin asked.

“New Mexico.”

“Uh…?”

“It’s the Land of Enchantment.”

“Oh … right. Enchantment.” Martin was trying as hard as he could to be enchanting. But was it enough? He didn’t even have a ring. It was as if gravity were pulling his knee down. He kept looking into her eyes. And even in their strangely fixed, groggy state, they mesmerized him. As if in slow motion, his knee bent ever so slightly, and he lowered himself toward the welcome mat on which he stood, his kneecap landing right on the
C.
His heart pounded like the hooves of racehorses.

“Lois?”

“This is what I’ve always wanted. I promise I’ll make you proud.”

“It is?” Martin took her hand, and she looked down like she’d just noticed he was below her. “Lois, you’re the most terrific woman I’ve ever
met. I think we would make a great couple. And I want to take care of you for the rest of our lives, no matter where in this crazy world we end up.” He wheezed out the next string of words. “Lois, will you marry me?”

There was a long pause. Lois was staring at a nearby tree now, her eyes thoughtful and reflective. Martins chest was constricting. Maybe he should stand. His back felt like it was going to go out.

But then, as graceful as a gazelle, she looked down at him, a loving softness in her eyes. And she said, as tenderly as he’d ever heard her speak, “I just want the very best for you. And if this is what you want, then we’ll make it happen.”

Martin couldn’t blink. He couldn’t speak. He couldn’t breathe. Had she just said yes? Was that a yes?

“I don’t have a ring,” Martin said, choking back emotion. “But I will get you one. I promise!”

“You can just put it in the mail.”

Martin stood up. “In the mail?”

“Now I have to go. But you know how much I love you, right?”

Martin nodded. Kind of. “I’ll see you tonight?” he asked, and kissed her on the cheek.

“Good-bye.”

“Good-bye.”

Martin doubled his stride as he nearly skipped to his car. Lois was standing in the doorway, watching him. He gave her a toot on his horn as he drove off.

This was by far the best, if not the strangest, day of his life! He was engaged!”

Lois stepped back from the front door and didn’t bother to close it. She scratched her scalp and walked toward the kitchen. Why was there light all over the house? She looked down. Was she in her pajamas?

She turned. Why was the front door open? She gasped and hurried to close it, peeking outside. Nobody was out there, and the street was quiet. The morning sun made her squint. She closed the door, then stood with her back against it for a moment. After a few minutes, the fog lifted.

Lois slogged toward the kitchen, shaking her head. She must’ve been sleepwalking. She laughed as she stuck two pieces of bread in the toaster. She’d been in the middle of the strangest dream! How odd. She’d been dreaming of the time she’d gone to her father, whom she hadn’t seen in months, and asked if he would pay for her to attend college in New Mexico.