Born in the Shadows (In the Shadows Series Book 1) (22 page)

Nicky glanced back at them and seeing they were all assembled, he wordlessly opened the doors and led them outside. As they walked to the back garden, Cordelia caught her first glimpse of the wooden pyre that had been constructed in the centre of the manicured lawn.

The scent of gasoline that coated the pyre overpowered the fragrance of the garden’s night blooms and the flowers that had been placed around Olivia’s body.

When Anne had come to her room earlier, she had given her a brief description of their kind’s funeral rites. Shadow Walkers were left out to burn at dawn, their ashes offered up to the day that had scorned them.
Datores Sanguis
were set on fire on a pyre at sunset, their ashes offered up to the night that they had embraced. After a few words, Nicky would light the pyre and Olivia’s body would be laid to rest.

“Who built it?” Cordelia asked, looking at the pyre and the pile of discarded lumber nearby.

“Marcus and Gabe. They spent all day on it,” Mary told her, her voice full of admiration for the two men.

Cordelia glanced down the line at Gabe, wanting to go to him and thank him but now was not the time. They had reached the pyre and the assembled group stood in a semi circle around it. Nicky moved to stand before the pyre, gazing up at Olivia for a moment before turning to face the assembled group.

“We are gathered here this night to honour the life of our Olivia. Though she lived a long life, she was still taken from us too soon. She devoted herself to our clan and there is not enough we can do to repay that devotion. All we can do is vow to bring her murderer to justice and to honour her by committing her body back to the earth in our kind’s tradition. I promise you, Olivia, we will never forget you.”

One by one, each member of the clan went to stand before the pyre, taking one last moment to say their goodbyes and honour Olivia in their own way. Giovanni signed the cross, fingering his rosary as he whispered a prayer. Anne broke, heart-wrenching sobs wracking her body and Demetri stepped forward to pull her into his arms, his strength holding her up as she collapsed against him.

Mary went before the pyre and spent a silent moment staring at Olivia before she pulled a silver blade from her pocket and sliced across the meat of her palm. The scent of fresh blood wafted on the night breeze as Mary let it pool in her palm before she reached up and placed her bloody palm over Olivia’s heart, murmuring something to her. Mary said nothing as she walked back to join the group and nodded for Cordelia to take her turn.

She looked at the shroud that covered Olivia, letting her memories of Olivia’s smiling face surface. She had been a wonderful woman, so kind to Cordelia even when she had been a virtual stranger. And that kindness had been repaid with a death sentence.

Tears sprung to her eyes and she tried to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat.

“I am…I am so sorry,” she whispered, her voice cracking with emotion. “I promise I will do whatever has to be done to make Armand pay. Rest in peace, Olivia.”

She walked back to the group, tears streaming down her cheeks but she did not try to wipe them away. It was no use, she wasn’t sure if her tears would ever stop falling.

Nicky picked up an old-fashioned torch and lit the gasoline soaked end, the mass of treated fabric burning bright. He took one last look at Olivia before he held the torch to the bottom of the pyre. A loud whooshing sound filled the night as flames shot up around the pyre, the fuel burning hotly.

Everyone watched the flames grow, obscuring Olivia’s body as the burning wood began to snap and crackle in the silence of the night. Cordelia watched as sparks shot into the sky with each crack, the orange pinpoints rising high into the sky until they burned themselves out.

Just like a human life
, she thought. Burning bright in the beginning before dying out, the whole thing over so quickly.

She was pulled from her morose thoughts when she realized that the group was beginning to break up. The flames continued to dance but Olivia was finally at rest. The fire would eventually burn itself out and the scorched earth would serve as Olivia’s headstone.

Giovanni made the offer of food and Demetri agreed enthusiastically but Cordelia suspected it wasn’t from hunger but Demetri’s desire to give Giovanni something to do. Anne went with them, Mary following close behind.

Marcus ignored all of them, sitting down on the grass, his gaze steady on the fire. Nicky stood behind him, his hand on his shoulder, offering comfort but not invading on his grief.

For the first time since she had seen them together earlier, Gabe left Marcus’ side, leaving him in Nicky’s hands and headed towards her. 

“Hey.”

His voice and stance told her he was cautious approaching her and she felt horrible all over again for her earlier meltdown. He hadn’t deserved her anger last night. She had been the one to introduce him to this world that could be so captivating for humans. She couldn’t fault him for falling under its spell.

Seeing him here, knowing that he had spent his day helping build Olivia’s final resting place heaped more guilt on the pile. There was no denying that he cared. He wouldn’t be here if he didn’t.

“Thank you for being here,” she said. “It means a lot to me.”

He looked up quickly and his eyes showed his relief. “You don’t need to thank me. I wanted to be here.”

His words caused a lump to grow in her throat and she wanted to say something to tell him how sorry she was for lashing out at him but she couldn’t find the right words. She looked back to the smoking pyre, the one that Gabe had spent the day building for her family instead of sleeping.

“You helped Marcus build it. Why?”

“The room Demetri gave me faced out this way. I tried to go to sleep but I could hear Marcus working out here.”

“That didn’t mean you had to help him,” she pointed out. “You could have gone to another bedroom. There are plenty of them.”

He shrugged his shoulders, as if all of it was no big deal. “It looked like too big of a job for one person so I came out and offered to help.”

There were dark circles under his eyes and the lines around his mouth were deeper than usual. His exhaustion was evident and she realized that he had been awake for a solid twenty-four hours, if not longer.

Yet he had not only stood here and paid his respects to Olivia and her family, he had worked hard all day to make sure she could be laid to rest as quickly as possible. And somehow, she knew that he would stay awake for as long as they needed him.

He sighed wearily and seemed to steel himself for what he was about to say.

“Look, I know this isn’t exactly the best time but I want you to know that I’m sorry for last night.”

“Forget it,” she said quickly. “Just forget it ever happened. You didn’t do anything wrong. I took out my issues on you.”

“No, Cordelia I screwed up and--”

“Don’t Gabe, please don’t apologize. What you did today for my family, I can’t thank you enough. You didn’t have to do any of this.”

“Yes I did,” he said simply. And she could see it in his eyes; he did have to do this. He understood the pain that they were all feeling. He had wanted to help them not because he wanted to get something out of it but because he knew the grief and he wanted to ease it for all of them.

“You are a good man, Gabe Carrington.”

“I try,” he said, cracking a half smile and she smiled in return. He opened his mouth to say something else but before he could speak, a yawn took over. 

“You’re exhausted. You need to get some rest,” she told him.

“Nah, I’m good.”

“You haven’t slept in over a day. You’re going to end up collapsing on us. Come on,” she said.

She brought him into the house and led him up to her room, where there were clothes scattered over the bed from her earlier debate over what to wear. She quickly gathered them up and tossed them unceremoniously in her closet as Gabe discarded his suit jacket, the necktie following close behind.

His fingers fumbled on the buttons of his dress shirt as he yawned loudly so she walked over and brushed his hands away, her fingers making quick work of the line of buttons. The shirt joined the pile on the floor and for the first time, she saw the tattoos that she had only caught a glimpse of before.

The image of an angel covered his back, her wings spreading over his shoulder blades and down his biceps where the tips reached the tops of his elbows. In her arms, the angel held an infant and she gazed down lovingly at the child, a serene smile on her lips. The child gazed back up at her with wide eyes, his tiny mouth open slightly.

As he bent down to remove his shoes and socks, the wings appeared to flutter as his muscles flexed under his skin. She reached out and let her fingers trace the curve of the angel’s cheek.

“She’s beautiful.”

“She’s my mother,” he said, his voice rough with emotion. “I got it done after she passed away.”

Cordelia had no idea that he had lost his mother. He had never offered up any information about his family and she had never wanted to pry in case, like her, family was a painful subject.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “How long ago did she pass?”

“It’s been ten years. Still hurts though. She was an amazing lady. Raised me by herself when my asshole of a father ran out on her two months before I was born. She worked her ass off to take care of me and I worked my ass off to make her proud. It nearly destroyed me to lose her.”

And now Cordelia knew why Gabe had known just what to do for her family. He had lost the most important person in his life. He knew grief inside and out. And the ink on his back told her he knew the importance of paying tribute to the dead.

“She does sound amazing,” she told him and he turned around to smile his appreciation for the compliment.

Cordelia couldn’t help but let her eyes drop to his naked chest, his firm pecs covered with a dusting of golden hair that tapered into a line down the centre of his abdomen. Her mouth went dry as she followed the line of hair to where it disappeared beneath the elastic band of his boxers.

He was beautiful and as she gazed at him, her heart began to pound and a throbbing started between her legs. Seeing him like this, practically naked, she had never wanted him more.

Except his eyes weren’t hooded with desire but exhaustion. He was ready to drop where he stood while talking about his dead mother and all she could think about was getting him naked. She really needed to get control of her attraction to him. It was popping up at the most inappropriate moments.

“Come on, let’s get you in bed,” she said and went over to pull back the blankets for him.

He obeyed her without complaint, climbing into the bed, a deep sigh issuing from him as he sank into the mattress. She went around the room, turning off all the lights leaving only the bathroom light on and the door cracked so that he could find his way there if he needed to in the dark room. 

She knew she should leave him alone to rest and go downstairs to see what the others were doing or if there was something she could do for them except there was a strange instinct inside her that commanded her not to leave his side. She needed to stay here and watch over him as he slept to make sure he was safe. Which was pretty creepy, at least by human standards.

By Shadow Walker standards, it made perfect sense. After losing one of her own, her baser instincts would be screaming at her to protect what she had left. Gabe belonged to her and her nature told her to watch over what was hers.

Except he didn’t belong to her, at least not the way it really mattered. She didn’t want him to be hers because of Shadow Walker law or because she could influence his mind. She wanted him to be hers because he wanted her to be his.

“Will you stay?”

Relief washed over her at his whispered request and she couldn’t stop herself from smiling.

“I’m just going to change and then I’ll be back.”

She disappeared into the bathroom, glad to be rid of her funeral dress. She pulled on a tank top and flannel shorts and washed her face, feeling a little more normal. Though the weight of what had happened in the last twenty-four hours was still there, it was lessened slightly now that she felt more like her regular self.

She emerged from the bathroom and saw that Gabe had rolled on his side and burrowed down into the pillows. She walked over to stare down at him, her heightened vision letting her see a clear picture of him in the dark. His eyes were closed, his thick lashes dark against his tan skin. A few locks of golden hair had fallen across his cheek and she wanted to reach out and brush the strands back but instead she turned away, heading to the sofa. She figured she had a few books she could read while he slept and the sofa was comfortable enough if she wanted to catch a nap herself.

“Where are you going?” he asked her, his voice slightly slurred from exhaustion.

“I’m not leaving. I’m just going to sit over here.”

“No, I want you to stay here,” he said, pulling back the blankets that covered the empty side of the bed. She stared at the spot on the bed next to Gabe and wondered why a higher being was insisting on torturing her because that’s what laying next to Gabe’s warm body was going to be: pure torture. Unfortunately, she couldn’t deny a request from him, not after everything he had done for her.