Born in the Shadows (In the Shadows Series Book 1) (9 page)

“That and I figure, if he was interested too, he’d let me know,” Cordelia replied. “I know all about the
He’s Just Not That Into You
school of thought.”

“Well, he’s an idiot if he didn’t realize what a catch you are,” Mary said. “There will be plenty of eligible bachelors at Roxy tonight who know how to appreciate a female.”

“I’m not sure if this is a good time in my life to be getting involved with anyone.”

“Who said anything about getting involved? Just enjoy the attention. It’s an ego boost.”

Mary had a point. Maybe an ego boost would be a good thing. Even she could admit she looked pretty hot tonight. Mary had pinned up half of her hair, letting the soft curls bounce around her shoulders while the rest was pinned to her crown in intricate spirals. Add in her silky smooth skin and sparkling eyes thanks to being a Shadow Walker, Cordelia was actually feeling pretty good about herself.

“You know what? You’re right. I look good and I’m going to enjoy whatever attention I get. I deserve to go out and have some fun.” She turned around to face Mary. “Thank you for making me do this.”

“No need for thanks. I’m the one in the clan who always pushes people out of their comfort zone.” Mary pinned up one last curl and smiled as she smoothed a hand over her hair. “There, ready to go. Now, let me go change so we can head out before we run out of night.”

***

Gabe was in a dark place and he didn’t know if he was going to get out.

He sat on a stool pulled up to the worn bar top in some dive off the Danforth. He had started in on doubles of the cheap rye when he arrived an hour ago and he wasn’t planning to slow up any time soon.

He wanted to be nice and numb before it came time to stumble his ass home. The numbness was the only way to make sure he passed out the second his body hit the mattress. No fucking way was he going to spend another night laying there, staring up at the ceiling, unable to sleep or think about anything else but
her
.

It had been two weeks since Mitch had come out to the site and told the crew that she had died in a car accident. No funeral. No memorial. No idea where she would be buried. One day she was there and the next she was just gone.

It had been two weeks of walking around like a zombie, unable to focus on anything. He had tried to work but his head was too fucked up and after nearly taking off one of the guy’s legs with a jackhammer, Mitch had told him to take some time off.

So here he was, with nothing to do but drink and think about Cordelia. He hadn’t known her that long but there had been something about her that had touched him deeply.

The grief he was experiencing told him that much.

The only loss that hurt him more was when his mother had lost her battle with cancer years before. She had been his entire world, raising him by herself because his father had left before he was even born. She had worked two jobs to take care of him and he paid her back by always doing his best. He studied hard and earned himself a full ride to college and then to law school. She had been so proud of him.

It had been in his last year of law school when she had been diagnosed. She assured him that it wasn’t that bad, that she would beat it and he had believed her. She had been his rock, the one person in the world he had always been able to count on. Eventually things got bad and she could no longer hide the truth from him. She had finally confessed to him that it had become terminal and within a month, she was gone.

He dropped out of school and went on a bender that would put most hardcore alcoholics to shame. His memory of that time was a blur of bottles, dive bars, flying fists and more than a few nights in the drunk tank. It had been one of those nights sleeping it off behind bars that had him take a long look at what he was doing.

If his mother could see what he had become, she would be so ashamed. She didn’t bust her ass raising him to be smart, respectful and hardworking for him to turn out like this. He had to clean himself up, if not for his own well being, then at least to honour the sacrifices his mother had made for him.

It had taken him years to get the grief of losing his mother to a manageable level. He worked odd jobs then fell into construction and decided to make a go of it as a career. His determination to pay tribute to his mother by making a success of what life he had left was what kept him going down the right path.

Now here he was spiralling out of control again and he couldn’t work up enough energy to give a shit. It was as if the universe was conspiring against him, whether to punish him for some sin he didn’t remember committing or to test his strength. He didn’t know and he didn’t much care. All he knew was that he hurt and he wanted it to stop and booze did that better than anything else.

He wished that he had said something different the last time he saw her.
There is nothing wrong with the way you look
. Those words had been echoing through his brain, as if they were mocking him with what a fucking joke they were. He should have told her she was gorgeous in his eyes and anyone who didn’t see it was a dipshit. He should have waited for her after work and asked her out for those drinks like he wanted.

Maybe if she had, she wouldn’t have been wherever she was when she had been killed. Maybe she would still be alive.

These were the thoughts that kept him up at night. And if he was having them now, it meant he wasn’t even close to the level of fucked up he needed to be to make it through the night. He waved to the bartender, indicating that he needed a refill, stat.

The old man behind the bar shook his head. “Sorry pal, I think you’ve had enough.”

Fucking figured. In a dive bar like this, the old man had seen more than a few people intent on killing themselves with liquor and knew the signs. Well bully for him wanting to be the hero. He’d just hit up the liquor store on the way home and continue poisoning himself in private.

              He rose from the stool, swaying slightly before his balance was restored and he left the bar. The fresh night air was like a slap in the face and he felt his head clear slightly, his feet becoming steadier beneath him.

Which was the exact opposite of what he wanted. Time to hit the liquor store. Like hell he was going to lose the buzz he had worked hard to get.

He passed couples and groups of people on the sidewalks, smiling and laughing, heading off to enjoy their night. He wanted to tell them that they were idiots for being happy, that at any moment the people they cared about could be taken from them.

But he kept his mouth shut. He knew he reeked of booze and standing on the sidewalk yelling at strangers was just going to get him a night in the drunk tank. Or tossed in the loony bin for a seventy-two hour vacation.

He stood impatiently at an intersection, waiting for the light to change, wanting to get away from everyone. He heard loud laughter from the opposite corner and looked over to glare at the group waiting for the light like him. A tall man who looked like a linebacker for a pro football team was flanked by a dark haired Amazon and a redheaded bombshell. Looked like the guy was having the time of his life as the women hung on his every word. The red head laughed and Gabe felt his heart jump as the sound lit off memories in him.

It wasn’t possible. His mind was playing tricks on him. He stared intently at the redhead, studying her. Copper curls piled up on her head, a few curls dangling down around her shoulders to glint in the light of the street lamp. Long legs led up to a black skirt that hugged her ass and hips, which were swaying seductively as she balanced on her high heeled boots. She wore a black corset that was either silk or satin judging from the way the fabric shimmered in the lamplight.

Yep, his brain was definitely fucking with him. That woman definitely wasn’t his Cordelia. His Cordelia wore jeans and sneakers and her hair was always pulled back.

He wondered if this was his future. Would he always think it was Cordelia whenever he caught a glimpse of a woman with even the slightest resemblance?

The woman’s laughter continued and there was that electric tingle in his veins again. He could swear she sounded just like Cordelia. He watched the group as they crossed the intersection and headed in the direction he had come from.

He knew he should just shrug it off and head home, skipping the stop at the liquor store. Obviously, his grey matter needed a break from the booze bath if he was seeing Cordelia in strangers. But instead, an instinct he couldn’t name had him turning around and following the trio. He stayed on the opposite side on the street, his eyes glued to the linebacker as he ushered the women through the crowds. 

When they turned a corner, Gabe darted across the street, a car horn blaring at him but he ignored it. He didn’t want to lose them. When he reached the corner and looked down the side street, he saw the group had stopped at a doorway.

He had spent a good deal of time down here on the Danforth and he had never noticed the doorway before. Then again it was just a non-descript grey metal door in a brick wall and you wouldn’t even know it led to anything important if it hadn’t been for the very large bouncer standing in front of it.

The bouncer and the linebacker bumped fists before exchanging a few words. The bouncer held out a hand to the redhead and she smiled brightly as she shook it. Her head turned and for the first time, Gabe was able to see the woman’s face straight on.

He felt like he had been kicked in the gut and he had to put a hand on the building next to him to steady himself. Though there was something slightly different about her appearance, it was definitely her.

She was alive.

He wanted to run to her and grab her up in his arms. He wanted to yell out her name. He wanted to do something to get her attention, to have her see him and acknowledge him, just to know for sure it really was Cordelia.

But fear kept him paralyzed and they disappeared inside, the bouncer moving back to his place in front of the door. What if he did call out and it wasn’t her? He was half in the bag; this could all be some alcohol-fuelled hallucination.

But he was so sure. Some instinct inside him told him it was true and all the logic and reason in the world wouldn’t quiet it. It was that instinct that finally got his feet moving down the street. 

The bouncer was in the classic get-up. Black jacket and pants, an earpiece and mirrored sunglasses so you could never tell where they were looking. The fact that he was a towering mass of muscle said that this place was serious about its security. This was going to take finesse.

Gabe stood in front of him, trying to appear relaxed and sober. Swaying and slurring his words were going to do him no favours. As much as part of him demanded he shove the guy aside so he could get to Cordelia, he remained calm, hooking his thumbs in the pockets of his jeans as he nodded at the bouncer.

“Evening.”

“Members only,” the guy responded without even looking at him.

“I’m a friend of Cordelia’s. She called me and told me to meet her here. She’s got curly red hair, blue eyes. She probably came in with a big guy and a dark haired woman. You remember them?”

The guy gave him a slow once over from head to toe and Gabe got a chill. Even though he couldn’t see his eyes, Gabe could feel them assessing every inch of him, as if they was able to see all of his strengths and weaknesses.

“Like I told you, members only.”

“Please, just tell me, the redhead that came through here, was her name Cordelia?”

“Now, I thought you said that this Cordelia told you to come here.” Okay so the guy hadn’t been hired just for his muscles, he had a brain in there. “Why don’t you tell me what you want with that girl so bad?”

“I just…I need to know if she is who I think she is.”

“And who do you think she is?”

“A friend of mine.”

The bouncer shook his head, his mouth a hard line. “Look buddy, this isn’t the place for you. Best for you to just move along.”

No fucking way was that happening.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, flashing it at the bouncer. “How much?”

The bouncer was silent for a few moments, his face unmoving and his shaded eyes giving nothing away. “Five hundred.”

“Fine,” Gabe said, pulling out the bills, glad that he had cashed his last pay cheque earlier that night. He held out the cash for the bouncer, who kept his hands behind his back as he continued with more of the silent staring.

“Come on, take it and let me in.”

“You really want in that bad, huh?”

“Yes. I need to talk to her. It’s the only way I’m going to know…” he trailed off, realizing that “If she’s alive or dead.” was not the best way to end that sentence. That sort of crazy talk would get him a lifetime ban.

“Keep your money. I don’t like to stand between someone who wants something as bad as you do.”

Gabe was shocked at the sudden change but he quickly stuffed his money back in his wallet when the bouncer reached for the door handle. When he opened the door, dance music pumped out into the street and Gabe could see the flashes of coloured lights and feel the deep bass vibrate through him.

“Be careful in there. Like I said, this isn’t the place for you,” the bouncer said, smiling for the first time. The hairs on the back of Gabe’s neck stood on end when he saw the long, white fangs flashing in the streetlights.