Born This Way

I am one of millions of out, proud gay people who didn't choose to be gay—I was born this way!
I knew by age five that I felt a certain attraction to other boys, but I couldn't describe my feelings. Like many of my generation in the 1970s, I dated girls through high school to fit in, but it never felt natural. I came out to myself at nineteen. At thirty, when I sat my mother down for the “Mom, I have something to tell you” speech, she didn't blink and said, “Are you going to tell me you're gay?” I don't think I ever hugged her harder than I did that day. The truth is, our moms always know, even if they don't admit it right away. For me, the hardest part of growing up was feeling like I was the only gay person on the planet and had no one to talk to about it.

I started the Born This Way project to show young gay kids that they're not alone: many others have gone through everything they're experiencing now. We must share our stories and pay it forward for future generations.
Being gay is as normal and natural as being straight.
It is not a choice or a phase, it's not something you learn, and it's certainly not something that can or should be “cured” or “fixed.” All children need love and nurturing and support. And there are so many great resources now for both children and adults, such as PFLAG, GLSEN, The Trevor Project, and It Gets Better. Use those tools and information to talk, communicate, and listen.

Inside this book, you'll find stories and photos about growing up gay in all kinds of families, everywhere from London to Mexico City. You'll find every shade of masculine and feminine, and yes, even some stereotypes. What you
won't
find is the shame that society places on those traits, only self-pride and self-acceptance. Not every boy who plays with dolls or every girl who plays with trucks—or exhibits gender-opposite behavior—is gay. But you will see that most of the kids in this book knew they were gay at an early age. These children have grown up to be doctors, lawyers, musicians, makeup artists, painters, and poets. They're now mothers, fathers, and loving partners. And they've all made invaluable contributions to the fabric of society.

In the six decades represented in this book, many have gone on to achieve great levels of success in their respective fields. I've included some of these famous faces of the LGBTQ community to help inspire today's gay youth to strive for their own greatness. Representative
Barney Frank
(1953) is the first openly gay member of the U.S. Congress and a progressive champion for human rights.
Michael Musto
(1964) is a television personality and writer known for his column in
The Village Voice
.
Marc Shaiman
(1967) is a Tony, Grammy, and Emmy Award winning composer. Actor/comedian
Patrick Bristow
(1968) has appeared on
Ellen, Seinfeld
, and
Curb Your Enthusiasm
. Photographer
Mike Ruiz
(1968) has shot for
Vanity Fair, Elle
, and
Vogue
.
Steven Kirkham
(1969) is
Miss Perfidia,
whose wig styling is seen everywhere from
Strangers with Candy
to
The Pee Wee Herman Show
on Broadway for HBO. Actor/comedian
Frank DeCaro
(1969) hosts “The Frank DeCaro Show” on Sirius XM Satellite Radio's OutQ 108l.
Billy Brasfield
(1970), aka
Billy B,
is one of the world's most sought-after makeup artists and a featured judge on
Ru Paul's Drag Race
.

Musician
Andy Bell
(1970) is lead singer of Erasure and an ambassador for New York's Hetrick-Martin Institute, which provides resources for LGBTQ youth.
Kent Fuher
(1971) is drag superstar
Jackie Beat,
and a featured columnist for
Frontiers IN LA
magazine.
Jeffrey Schwarz
(1977) is an acclaimed producer and filmmaker.
Sia Fuller
(1978) is a Grammy nominated singer-songwriter.
Bill Coleman
(1979) is a club DJ, writer, and music supervisor whose record label features LGBTQ recording artists Cazwell, Amanda Lepore, and the Ones.
Clinton Leupp
(1979) is activist and drag performer
Miss Coco Peru,
whose films include
To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar
.
The Lane Twins, Gary and Larry
(1980) created the award-winning documentary
Hollywood to Dollywood
, which chronicles their coming-out story and meeting their idol, Dolly Parton.
Sutan Amrull
(1982), aka
Raja Gemini,
is a renowned makeup artist, drag performer, and the Season 3 winner of
Ru Paul's Drag Race
.
Perez Hilton
(1983) is a world-famous celebrity blogger.
Writer
Noah Michelson
(1985) is the editor of Gay Voices at the Huffington Post. Journalist
Matt Baume
(1987) documents the fight for marriage equality at Stop8.org. And
Kevin Farrell
(1990) cofounded the popular Unicorn Booty website to keep the LGBTQ community connected with pop culture and gay activism. I am thrilled and honored to have all of them included here. But these are only a handful of our many success stories.

We are all here to say to the LGBTQ youth of today:
You are a gift to this world.
Never let those who bully or taunt you prevent you from being exactly who you are. Yes, it can be tough, and the bullying situation in our schools is something we must work to stop. But your teen years are a mere nanosecond compared to the decades of happiness, joy, and love that will come into your life as a proud, gay adult. This world needs what you add to it, so I implore you never to consider taking your own life. If my book prevents even one life lost, I consider myself blessed.

My closing message is to parents:
Understand that your child might be straight or they might be gay—and that's OK!
So, please, love
all
your children unconditionally, and nurture and encourage what makes them happy and healthy. Raise them to accept and respect all people, no matter the differences. Teach them that what defines them are their actions and deeds and not their sexuality. And above all—no matter the gender—teach them that
love is love.

— Paul V
.