Borrowed Dreams (Debbie Macomber Classics) (13 page)

“That was before.”

“Before what? Have you secretly been taking lessons?” she teased.

The humor drained from his eyes, and he sought and found her gaze. “No, that was before I ever thought I’d find anyone who’d make me want to dance again.”

Carly eased the strap of her carry-on bag over her shoulder as she made the trek through the long jetway from the airplane into the main terminal at Sea-Tac Airport.

Her eyes scanned the crowd at baggage claim until she caught a glimpse of Diana, who was nervously pacing the area. Her friend hadn’t changed. Not that Carly had expected her to. Somehow she never got used to the fact that Diana was only five feet four inches. Their hair color was the same ordinary shade of dark brown. But there the resemblance stopped. Carly was a natural sort of person who didn’t bother much with fashionable hairstyles or trendy clothes. She was too proud of her individuality to be swayed by the choices of others. But it was not so with Diana, who often dressed in the most outrageous styles and clothes.
Flamboyant
was an apt one-word description of her best friend.

“Diana.”

Carly watched as her friend whirled around and quickly made her way through the crowd.

“Darling, you’re gorgeous.” Diana threw her arms around Carly. Such an open display of affection was typical of Diana, who acted as though she hadn’t seen Carly in years instead of only a few weeks. “But too thin. You’re not eating enough. I knew this would happen. I read an article that said how hard it is to get supplies into Alaska. You’re starving and too proud to admit I was right. I hope to high heaven you’re ready to move back where you belong.”

Carly laughed. “If you think getting supplies is difficult, you should try heating an igloo.”

They teased and joked as they waited for Carly’s suitcase to come around the conveyor belt in baggage claims.

“Where’s Barney?”

“Working. He sends his love, by the way.” Each carrying a suitcase, they crossed the sky bridge to the parking garage. “Wait until you see his wedding gift to me.”

“Diamonds? Furs?”

“No.” Diana shook her head solemnly. “I told him not to bother. Neither one of my other husbands did.”

When Diana paused in front of a red convertible, Carly’s mouth dropped open. “The car. Barney got you a red convertible?” This was the kind of car Diana had always dreamed of owning.

Diana shook her head in feigned dismay. “That’s only half of it.”

“You mean he got you two cars?”

One delicately outlined brow arched. “Better.”

“Better?” Carly gasped playfully.

A few minutes later, Carly understood. Diana exited off the freeway and took a long, winding road that led to an exclusive row of homes built along the shores of Lake Washington.

“Barney bought you a house!”

“He said I’d need some place to park the car,” Diana explained excitedly, as she pulled into the driveway and turned off the ignition. “I still get a lump in my throat every time I see it.” She bit her bottom lip. “I remember not long after we met, Barney was telling me that someday he was going to build a house. I told him about the one I had pictured in my mind from the time I was a little girl. A house full of love.”

“And Barney built you that house.” Carly shook her head in wonder. “Tell me again where you found this man!” she begged.

“The crazy part of it is how much Barney loves me!” Diana sounded shocked that anyone could care for her with such fervor. “And it isn’t like I’m a vestal virgin who’s coming to him spotless. With my track record, any sane man wouldn’t touch me with a ten-foot pole.” Tears filled the dark brown eyes. “You know, Carly, for the first time in my life I’m doing something right.”

Carly’s hand squeezed her friend’s as tears of shared happiness clouded her own vision. “Look at us,” she said, half laughing, half sobbing. “You’d think we were going to a funeral. Now, are we going to sit out here all day or are you going to show me the castle?”

With a burst of energy, Diana led Carly from room to room, pointing out details that a casual inspector might have overlooked. Every aspect of the house was impressive, with high ceilings and the liberal use of polished oak.

“It’s beautiful,” Carly said with a sense of awe. “I counted four bedrooms.”

“Two boys and a girl,” Diana announced thoughtfully. “As quickly as we can have them.”

Shaking her head, Carly eyed her friend suspiciously. “And you used to tell me diaper rash was catching.”

Laughing, Diana led the way into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. “Barney and I can hardly wait for me to get pregnant.” She handed Carly a cold soda. “Here, let me show you what I got him for a wedding gift.” She led Carly into the family room off the kitchen and pointed to the leather recliner. “They delivered it a couple of days ago. For a while I was afraid it wouldn’t arrive before the wedding.”

“I’ll bet Barney loves it.”

“He hasn’t seen it yet,” Diana explained. “He won’t be moving in until after the wedding.”

“Oh.” The surprise must have shown in Carly’s eyes. The couple had been sleeping together for months.

“I suppose it sounds hypocritical at this point, but Barney and I haven’t lived together since we talked to the pastor.”

“Diana,” Carly said softly. “I’m the last person in the world to judge you. Whatever you and Barney do is your business.”

“I know. It’s just that things are different now. We’re different. We even started attending church. Every Sunday. Can you believe it? At first I thought the congregation would snicker to see someone like me in church. But they didn’t. Everyone was so warm and welcoming. In fact, a few ladies from the women’s group volunteered to have a small reception for us after the wedding.”

“That’s wonderful.”

“Barney and I thought so, too.” Diana’s eyes lit up with a glow of happiness. “For a long time I expected something to happen that would ruin all of this. It’s been like a dream, and for a time I felt I didn’t deserve Barney or you or the people from the church.”

“But, Diana—”

Diana interrupted by putting her hand over Carly’s. “My thinking was all wrong. Pastor Wright pointed that out to me. And he’s right, no pun intended. We did a lot of talking about my background, and now I see how everything in my life has led to this point.”

Carly wondered if she’d ever find this kind of serenity or that special glow of inner happiness Diana had.

“I hope you’re hungry,” Diana said. “We’re supposed to meet Barney in a half hour for lunch.”

“I’m starved.” Carly sighed dramatically. “As you’ve guessed, I haven’t eaten a decent meal in weeks. Food’s so hard to come by in the Alaskan wilderness. And I just haven’t acquired a taste for moose and mountain goat.”

*  *  *

Dressed in her pajamas, Carly sat cross-legged on top of Diana’s huge king-size bed. “One thing I’ve got to do tomorrow is buy a dress. I couldn’t find anything I liked in Anchorage, but then, I wasn’t in much of a mood to shop.”

“I already beat you to it. Knowing you’d put it off to the last minute, I scheduled time for us to go shopping tomorrow.” Diana sat at the vanity, applying a thick layer of white moisturizing cream to her face. “Are you going to tell me about him or do I have to pry every detail out of you?”

Carly dodged her request. “It may take months for you to get pregnant if Barney sees you smear that gook on your face every night.”

“Quit trying to avoid the subject.” Some of the teasing humor left Diana’s eyes.

“All right, all right. I’m in love with Brand.” The burst of happy surprise Carly had expected didn’t follow.

“I already knew that. I’ve known from the moment you started telling me about him. Obviously, he’s in love with you, too.”

Carly answered with a curt nod. “He asked me to marry him before I left for Seattle.”

“And?”

“I told him no,” Carly said sadly. “I can’t, Diana. He’s everything I want and everything I fear all rolled into one.”

“Is it because of his wife and the two kids?”

“Aren’t you nervous about the wedding?” Carly asked hastily, wanting to change the subject.

“This is my third wedding. I’m over the jitters. Now, let’s get back to you and Brand.”

“I don’t want to talk about me,” Carly said stubbornly. “Brand and I have gone over
every detail until we’re blue in the face. I can’t change the way I feel.”

“Sweetie.” Diana only called her that when she was either very sad or very serious. “It’s time you grew up.”

Somehow she’d hoped that Diana, of all people, would understand. “All right, I admit that there will probably never be anyone I’ll feel this strongly about again.”

“But you’re afraid?” Diana prompted.

“Out of my wits.”

Diana’s soft laugh filled the bedroom. “I never thought you’d admit it.”

“This is the exception.” Carly fiddled with the nylon strings of her pajama top. “In a lot of ways you and I are alike. For one thing, I have trouble believing Brand could honestly love me. I’m terribly insecure, often irrational, and a card-carrying emotional cripple.”

“Do you remember how long it took Barney to convince me to marry him? Months.”

“Brand’s not as patient as Barney. He thinks that because we’re in love everything will work itself out.”

“He
sounds
like Barney,” Diana murmured, more to herself than for Carly’s benefit.

“His children are coming to Alaska the middle of next month.” Carly’s voice was unsteady. Shawn and Sara were the focus of her anxieties.

“Sandra’s children.” Diana had a way of hitting the nail on the head.

Carly winced and nodded.

“And nothing’s ever frightened you more.”

“Nothing.” Her whisper was raw with fear.

“All our lives I thought you were the fearless one,” Diana whispered, “but deep down you’ve been as anxious as I have. Be happy, Carly.” She wiped the moisturizer from her face with tissues as she spoke. “As much as I’d like to, I can’t tell you what to do. But I urge you to stop being so afraid of finding contentment. Believe that Brand loves you. Count yourself blessed that he does.”

Carly laughed, but the soft sound came out more like a sob. “For not wanting to tell me what to do, you sound like you’re doing just that.”

Diana’s eyes locked with Carly’s in the vanity mirror. “Go for it, kid.”

*  *  *

Carly couldn’t remember a more beautiful wedding. Tall white baskets filled with huge floral arrangements adorned the sanctuary. A white satin ribbon ran the length of the railing in front of the altar.

Barney, the short jeweler Diana had met at a Seahawks football game, stood proudly with his bride at his side. His dark hair had thinned to a bald spot at the top of his head, and his nose was too thin for his round face. Barney definitely wasn’t the type of man to stop female hearts. Carly recalled the first time she’d met him, and her surprise that Diana would be dating such a nondescript man. But her attitude had soon changed. From the first date, Barney had treated Diana like the most precious woman in the world. Carly loved him for that. Barney’s love and acceptance had changed Diana until she glowed and blossomed under them.

Diana had never looked happier or more beautiful. She stood beside Barney, their hands entwined, linking them for life. As the maid of honor, Carly held the small bouquet Diana had carried to the altar.

Both Diana’s and Barney’s voices rang strong and true as they repeated their vows. A tear of joy slipped from the corner of Carly’s eye as Barney turned and slipped the diamond wedding band onto Diana’s slim finger.

Diana followed, slipping a simple gold band onto Barney’s thick finger, her eyes shining into his as she did so. This time Diana was confident she was marrying the right man. And Carly was convinced Diana was the right woman for him.

“I now pronounce you husband and wife.” The pastor’s strong voice echoed through the church.

Diana looked at Barney with eyes so full of love that Carly felt a lump in her throat. Whatever the future held, these two were determined to nurture their love and faith in each other. The commitment was on their faces and in their eyes for everyone to read. And it didn’t go unnoticed.

The reception was held in the fellowship hall connected to the church. The wedding party was small. Diana had invited only a few friends, while Barney had asked his two brothers and their families. Three or four other couples who had met Diana and Barney through the church also attended.

Carly stood to the side of the reception hall and sipped her punch. Her eyes followed the newly married couple. Suddenly an intense longing she couldn’t name filled her.

She wanted Brand with her. She wanted to turn and smile at him the same way that Diana was smiling at Barney. And more than that, she needed to see again the love that had shone from his eyes as he had waved good-bye to her at the airport. Her chance for happiness was waiting for her in Anchorage; the question was whether or not she had enough courage to look past the fact that Brand had known this kind of love and happiness before meeting her.

Carly paused and took another sip of the sweet punch. With all her hang-ups, she wondered what kind of mother she would be to Shawn and Sara. Only a minute ago she’d begun to feel a little confident; now she was filled with as many insecurities as ever. As much as she wanted to find parallels in her relationship with Brand with what had happened between Diana and Barney’s, she couldn’t. The two couples faced entirely different circumstances.

Following the reception, Diana, Barney, Barney’s relatives, and Carly went to dinner at Canlis, a plush downtown Seattle restaurant. From the restaurant, the newlyweds were leaving for a hotel, then for a two-week honeymoon in Hawaii Sunday evening. Diana insisted that Carly stay at the house, and also gave her the keys to the car so that she could drive it home.

It was some time later when, yawning, Carly walked into the guest bedroom and kicked off her tight heels. The thick carpet was like a soft cushion under her bare feet. The day had been full and she was tired, but the thought of bed was dominated by her need to hear Brand’s voice.