Bound by Blood and Sand (14 page)

“I wanted to talk to you about…I wanted to say,” he began carefully, contemplating every word before speaking it, “that I understand what you did to Rannith. It was brutal, yes, but deserved. I know that.”

She gave him a long, wary look, and finally said, “I doubt that, Elan.”

He blinked, shocked for a moment that she hadn't used any honorific with his name. Even the Avowed did—but she wasn't Avowed, or Closest, or even Twill. She wasn't like anyone else in the world.

“I know what he…what he planned to do to you. That it wasn't the first time. I can't blame you for defending yourself,” Elan continued once he recovered. “Anyone would have, and no one civilized would ever take advantage of the Closest like Rannith did.”

“I doubt that, too.”

“It's true. Rannith was a monster. No one else would even
think
to order someone to lie with them. The very idea is ridiculous. It's as much as admitting that no one would want to, given the choice.”

Jae's narrow-eyed expression didn't waver. “I suppose that would be your concern. How embarrassing it would be to rape someone.”

“No! I didn't mean—didn't mean it like
that,
” he said hastily, not sure where he'd gone wrong. He only wanted to tell her that he
understood.
“It's wrong, of course it's wrong.” He paused, trying to think of a way to continue, but he found himself just staring at Jae. She was watching him back, not flinching from his gaze, all her features sharp and jagged, striking and fierce.

Looking at her like that, he could understand Rannith's fascination with her, but the thought turned his stomach. “Does that…What Rannith did,” he said, not quite able to name it like she had, “does it happen often out here?”

“Yes.” Jae tipped her head back, as if she was considering him, then continued, “It's not as if Tal
wants
to spend his nights at Lady Shirrad's side. There's no difference, except she's kinder to him afterward.”

Elan shook his head a little. Not disagreeing, just amazed—appalled. “It isn't like this at home,” he assured her. “We're civilized there. No one in my father's court would ever stoop to this.”

“Are you sure?” she asked him.
She
sounded sure that he was wrong.

“Yes,” he said.

Her eyebrows raised just a little, a slight smile tugging at her lips. It was eerily reminiscent of the way his father and Desinn looked at him, as if he was stupid. Which he
wasn't.

“No one in my father's court abuses power like that,” he repeated.

“Of course they do,” she said. “And if you've never noticed, it's because no one's ever taken advantage of
you.
”

“Plenty of people have tried,” he said. “They want my favor. They'd use me if they could.”

“Just like you wanted to use me and my power to find the Well,” she said.

“I didn't want to use— I mean…” He tapped his fingers against his leg. This was what he'd come to talk to her about. “Of course I wanted to use your power to find the Well, because that's how to save Aredann. That's what you wanted, too.”

“I wanted to do it without your interference,” she said.

“But we wanted the same thing. You were going to help—”

“You
ordered
me to help,” she interrupted, her voice sharp and thorny. “I had no choice, but now I do.”

“And that makes it more important than ever for you to see that we are on the same side,” he pressed.

“We will never be on the same side,” she said, voice stony. “You—your family—your whole caste are
liars.
The Well was never yours, and it never will be. I will
never
help you.”

Elan gaped at her, shaking his head slightly. “You have to know that that's not true, that they didn't…My ancestors would never have cast the Curse if that was true.”

She said nothing, but her expression spoke for her. She thought
he
was a fool. Naïve, like his father had called him before exiling him to Aredann. But she was wrong, she had to be wrong, no matter how much she believed what she said. Maybe the magic had driven her to madness, or maybe now that she was free of the Curse, she was determined to believe the Highest had been in the wrong during the War. But it didn't matter what she believed, because now that she was free, he couldn't order her to help—and he still needed her. The whole world needed her.

He took a moment to compose himself and finally said, “This isn't just about Aredann. Other estates, other
Closest,
are being abandoned, too. If you can save Aredann, you can save them all.”

“I can do almost anything I want,” she said, and something like a smile flitted across her face. “And don't bother to pretend that you care at all about the Closest—at Aredann or anywhere else.
You
were going to leave us all for dead.”

“But I didn't want to! I never liked the idea,” Elan said, his gut twisting. It was true enough. Once he'd really thought about it, the idea had horrified him. He just hadn't thought about it, not until she'd yelled at him. “But it's what's necessary—
was
necessary. Before you had magic. But now, now everything is different. All we have to do is convince my father of that.”

“
We
don't have to do anything.”

“Yes, we…” He trailed off, regrouped, tried again. “You don't know my father. You have magic—power—but he has power, too. He'll think you're a threat, but I can convince him you're not.”

Jae let out a scoffing laugh. “But I am. You have no idea what kind of power I have. I
will
save Aredann, and if your father stands in my way, I will do to him exactly what I did to Rannith.”

It took him a moment to understand, for what she'd said to sink in. She
could.
If his father angered her or tried to stop her, she could really kill him. And of course his father
would
do anything to stop her. Even though allowing Jae to find the Well and save Aredann would benefit them all, his father wouldn't stand for being threatened—and wouldn't allow his decisions to be undermined. He'd all but disavowed Elan for even
asking
him if there was another way to end the drought. Having one of the Closest directly challenge him…He wouldn't allow that. And when he tried to control Jae, she might very well kill him. That would only make things worse, not just for Elan's family but for the world. It would cause a war.

If Elan's father died, the other three Highest families would see the threat Jae posed to all of them. They'd send their guards to Aredann to stop her. Elan didn't know how many people it would take to overwhelm Jae's magic, but he
did
know that people would die in the process. A lot of them. But first, she'd kill his father.

“You can't,” Elan said, voice softer than he'd meant it to be. “The chaos it would cause…Please, Jae. Let me smooth the way for you to save Aredann without his interference. Let me help you. At least let me try.”

“I won't stop you from trying,” she said. “But I am going to save Aredann, and I am going to save the other Closest, whether you smooth the way or not. I will do
anything
I need to. Don't ever forget that.”

Elan swallowed, nodded.

He was
never
going to forget that.

Sunlight cascaded through the corridors, illuminating damage from the quake. Elan picked his way through the rubble and around the people who were dragging broken bricks and tiles out of the halls, sweeping and clearing the floors. Most of them were Closest, and though this main hall was starting to look better, it was only one small part of the house. Even if the other servants and the Avowed who lived there deigned to help, it was an overwhelming job.

Elan paused to watch the Closest at work, and couldn't help but notice every time someone's gaze slipped over toward him. It was always wary, waiting. Suspicious. Jae always looked at him like that. Now he saw that they all did. They all knew who he was and what he could do; he didn't even know how many of them there were. He'd only learned two of their names.

He turned and walked on, toward the guest quarters he'd claimed for his own after settling Jae in the master rooms, where she'd be isolated from everyone, Closest and Avowed alike. The damage was worse here, nearer to the center of the quake. He dragged himself through it carefully, and sagged when he finally reached his room. The conversation with Jae hadn't been easy. He needed time to think, to figure out how he'd handle his father, but Desinn was already waiting when Elan walked in.

“We need to talk about this,” Desinn said.

“Later,” Elan answered.

“Now. It's too important to put off; you must know that.”

Elan swallowed a groan but didn't disagree. Desinn was right—convincing him that Jae and her magic were under control would be the first step toward convincing his father. Nothing was more important than that. He sank onto a cushion and nodded. “Yes, fine.”

“That girl—you knew something.” Desinn squinted at him. “You ran off like you could stop the quake, and you knew exactly where to look for her.”

“I asked one of the Closest.”

“You knew what was happening.”

“Yes.” Elan took a breath, but couldn't force the tension out of his body. Everything in him had been pulled too tight, stretched out and then tied into a knot. “I was about to tell you, when it started. We can't abandon Aredann, because there's magic here. It was linked to that fountain. Jae—the Closest girl—she unlocked it somehow, and now she controls it. But I controlled her, and she wasn't supposed to…” He shook his head.

“A Closest? Then we can order—”

“No,” Elan interrupted. “She's
not
Closest any longer. I don't know what she is, but she freed herself. Otherwise this would never have happened. I ordered her not to use magic without permission—I'm not stupid enough to let her do anything she wanted with it. Then Rannith raped her, and she found the power to break the compulsion. Now she might do anything.”

Desinn frowned. “How long has this been going on?”

“A few days.”

“And you didn't tell—”

“You wouldn't have helped me!” Elan snapped. “Jae is powerful—even when she was cursed, she was. And she's so angry. She requires a careful hand, and you wouldn't understand her at all.”

“I wouldn't need to, if she was cursed!” Desinn snapped back at him. “You are supposed to be your father's warden, and this girl is definitely a threat to the Well. You should have sent word to him immediately.”

Elan fell quiet. Desinn was right about that much, at least. Elan reached up with one hand, pressed it to his rumpled robe, over the brand on his chest. He had vowed to obey his father, and to always act in the Highest families' interests. Yes, he should have sent word as soon as he'd discovered magic. It didn't matter that he'd planned to eventually, that he'd only waited so he could be careful with how he revealed Jae and her magic. Now it was obvious he'd mishandled everything, that maybe he was unworthy of his title after all.

Eventually he sighed. “Not telling you probably saved your life. Jae doesn't like anyone Avowed. If you'd tried to order her around, she would have lashed out at you instead of at Rannith.”

Desinn recoiled. “I wouldn't have dirtied myself like that.”

“She's not dirty. She's— Never mind.” Elan sagged on his cushion again, his shoulders curling forward. “Look. She doesn't trust me, but she's willing to let me try to keep things calm when my father arrives.”

“That's nothing but your duty,” Desinn said.

“I know,” Elan said. “But without some kind of go-between…Desinn, she could kill him. She told me she would.”

Desinn stared. “You can't be serious. No one is that foolish.”

“I don't think she thinks it's foolish at all,” Elan said. “But if I can keep them from trying to kill each other, then with the power she has…if she'll use it
for
us, there's so much she could do. She could find the Well.”

“And do exactly what her ancestors did—try to take control of it from the Highest. Better to leave it lost,” Desinn said.

Elan nodded. Especially given Jae's delusions about who had crafted the Well. If she believed it was supposed to belong to the Closest in the first place, it would almost make sense for her to try to reclaim it. But this wasn't just about controlling the Well—there were people dying from the drought. Hundreds of Closest had been abandoned already. “But what if she could protect the outlying estates? They wouldn't have to be deserted.”

“If that was possible, the Highest would have already done it,” Desinn said. “Whatever this girl can do, though…you need to keep her calm until your father arrives. He'll know what to do with her. If you'd written to him in the first place, we might still have control of her—which I intend to tell him as soon as he arrives.”

Desinn pushed up to his feet and walked out, and Elan buried his head in his hand. The worst part was that Desinn was right. His father would have known exactly what to do, how to handle Jae. If anyone could find a way to keep her under control now, it was Elan's father.

But anything he did to try to control her would just make Jae angry, and if she got angry enough…

Elan forced himself to his feet, but only so he could cross the room to his mat and collapse. He'd managed to place himself in the middle of a precarious situation, stranded between his father's power and Jae's, the only buffer between two forces that wanted nothing more than to destroy each other.

Jae wasn't accustomed to sitting idly. In her whole life, she'd never gone a waking hour without work—mending, gardening, cleaning. Closest were
never
allowed to be idle for long. But Elan wanted her to stay in his room resting, and she saw no real reason to argue with him about it.

Firran brought her dinner that evening. He moved silently, deposited the tray on the table, looked over at her, and shrank from her gaze.

Her breath caught as she realized: She was free, and Firran was still cursed. She wasn't Avowed. He wouldn't be compelled to obey her, not exactly. But the Closest were still expected to do as they were told by anyone, even the Twill, and didn't dare resist orders. Just like she had always scurried to follow the cook's instructions even though he wasn't Avowed, she knew Firran would do what
she
said.

She narrowed her eyes a little. Firran hated her and Tal—

He took a quick breath and retreated a step before recovering and waiting, perfectly still. Just like she always had when she'd known Lady Shirrad was angry with her and she'd braced herself for Shirrad's temper. Or maybe Firran was even more scared. Jae always knew what Shirrad would do, how bad it would be. Jae herself could do
anything
.

Whatever anger she felt toward Firran crumbled. He'd put her near Rannith, and she would never stop loathing him for that. But she would never be like Lady Shirrad, either, or any of the rest of them, lashing out at people who were powerless to defend themselves. So all she said was “Thank you.”

He bobbed his head and fled, practically running out of the room.

The next time Elan stopped in to check on her, she informed him she only wanted to see Tal or Gali. Elan agreed, and after that, Tal brought her meals, and no one but Tal, Gali, and Elan set foot inside the room with her.

As it turned out, lying around without leaving a single room was boring. After two days shut in, she couldn't stand it anymore. She started pacing the room and let herself bask in the magic she sensed around her. It still shone brightly no matter where she looked, glistening and twinkling, and without the Curse fettering her, she was able to tell different kinds of energy apart more easily.

One, a darker and steadier glow, felt like what she'd grabbed for when she'd set off the earthquake. She could see it under her, under the estate, spreading off into the distance—the energy of the earth, the land itself. By contrast, water's energy was bright and glistening, like the surface of the reservoir. There were other energies she couldn't separate as well, one that jangled and clanged more like a sound than a glow, and still another that shimmered around people.

The power left her humming, vibrating with energy, and with it, she could see beyond her room. She stood still and let her mind drift
up,
looked down at the whole estate. When she'd practiced with magic before Elan had ordered her not to, she'd learned how to tell who was who when she looked at the world like this. It was as easy as breathing, now that she was unfettered by the Curse.

Some people felt familiar to her, like Gali and Firran—but she didn't know Firran well, and Shirrad, who she knew much better, felt strangely
different.
The Closest all seemed to shine with the same glow, and everyone else was alien to her.

Like this, she could find and follow anyone, but the only person she really cared about was Tal. He moved through his day as usual—he worked with the teams that were clearing out rubble and replacing bricks and tiles, smoothing cracks in the walls and floors. Hovering over him was soothing. She couldn't make out any of the actual words said around him, but she could watch over him and know he was safe.