Bound to be Tested: Emergence, Book 3 (5 page)

Chapter Three

Lori’s brain ran a mile a minute. She couldn’t find the words to express what she didn’t understand herself. It was late, three in the morning. But she wasn’t tired and she knew Margaret wasn’t sleeping either.

She needed to open up and spill some of her past. It was the only way. Words she’d never wanted to speak, ones that had no business ever leaving her lips, had to escape. The damage was done. There was no other option that would be fair to Margaret.

Lori licked her lips and steadied her hand in Margaret’s hair, holding her lover to her shoulder. Maybe if she didn’t have to look her in the eye, it would be easier to talk.

“He was my Dom.”

Margaret didn’t move or speak, bless her. The only sign she was awake was the way she stroked Lori’s belly with the hand she’d flung across her.

“I lived under Jude’s charge for two years. He was my…everything.” There was no sense sugarcoating it. “I thought…I thought I would be with him for the rest of my life. He’s very…overwhelming.”

Margaret chuckled gently. “That’s an understatement.”

Lori smiled. “I fell under his spell quickly when we met. I was young. Twenty-six. He was older. Wiser. Larger than life. And he adored me.”

“Did you meet him at Emergence?”

“Yes. He was the head Dom at the club when I first started going there. I was new to the scene. A guppy, he said. I had dabbled in BDSM for several years, but Jason had put me off.”

“Why?”

Lori had never told Margaret any of this. She knew the woman was curious. She couldn’t blame her. “Jason is like a father to me. You know that part. When my own father died when I was young, he was always there for me, guiding me. He paid my college tuition. He helped me find my first apartment. He did more for me than my own mother.”

“Why?”

“He was my dad’s best friend. Felt like he owed it to his friend to help make sure his daughter was taken care of.”

“And all the while you never knew you had a half sister, right?”

“Oh, I knew. I just hadn’t seen her more than a handful of times as a toddler, and when her mother ran off with her, I didn’t know how to find her.” Stephanie’s arrival just months ago, after all those years, still made Lori smile. The woman was a godsend. Lori loved her to pieces.

“Anyway, Jude was not just a regular at the club, he was the top dog. Jason was still trying to talk me out of the lifestyle when I started attending. He feared he’d influenced me in some way and felt responsible for my ‘demise’.” Lori smiled into Margaret’s hair again.

“Yeah, he was beside himself when Stephanie showed up as a submissive. I can imagine him trying to talk you out of it.”

“Also an understatement. So when Jude showed an interest in me, Jason was less than pleased. Jude initially insisted he was just looking out for me, showing me the ropes. I knew better. Jude did too. Jason kept a watchful eye, but I was a consenting adult and made my own choices.”

“You moved in with him.”

“I did. It happened fast. One day he was teaching me about bondage and the next minute he was topping me himself. We’d been skirting the issue for weeks. I know he tried to keep from falling for me, but it was inevitable, like a chain bound us to each other and we couldn’t escape the pull.”

“I can see that. He’s…”

“Yeah, he’s all that…and more.” Lori closed her eyes, trying to keep on track. “I lived with him for two years as his submissive. It seemed like the perfect arrangement. He was in the military. I assume he still is. He never spoke much about it. He worked normal hours most days, with the occasional times when he went away for training ops.”

“And you?”

“I…stayed in his home.”

“You didn’t work?”

“No. I had been working in marketing when we met. My job was demanding, however. I worked long hours for little pay at a small firm. Jude hated how unavailable I was, and then when I got home I was always exhausted and worried about the next day. He wanted more of me and convinced me he made enough money to take care of me.

“He nagged me for weeks until I finally relented and quit my job to become his full-time submissive.”

“Wow. I can’t picture that from you.”

“I’m sure you can’t. I’ve changed. A lot.”
Haven’t I?

Margaret pulled herself free of Lori’s clutches and sat up. She tugged the blanket around her naked body and sat cross-legged, facing Lori. “Go on,” she encouraged. Nothing in her face said she was angry.

“There isn’t much more to tell. I’m sure you can fill in the blanks.” Lori felt the flush rise on her cheeks. “I was happy. Ecstatic. I took over Jude’s home and ran it like a perfect tight ship. I did everything domestic out of a need to be busy, not because he asked it of me. And when he got home each night, I was available to him.

“He ruled my nights. I ran his home by day.”

“And then?”

“And then he came home one day, or some possessed version of him did anyway. He was distraught, running his fingers through his hair, panicked. He said he was tired of the D/s life. It didn’t suit him anymore.”

Margaret gasped, her jaw hanging open.

“Yeah, I knew he was full of shit from the moment he walked in the door. He’d been fine the day before. Hell, even that morning. There had never been any indication he didn’t want me anymore.” Lori lifted her arms and speared her fingers into her hair. Memories of that day would haunt her for the rest of her life. Dragging them to the surface could be her undoing.

“He darted around the house like a lunatic, not himself at all. I stood in one spot, naked the entire time, and watched him toss things around while he ranted about how he didn’t want me anymore and needed space.

“I didn’t realize what he was doing, but all the while he was packing. He filled several suitcases with his most important belongings and set them by the door.”

“You just stood there?”

“What could I do? I didn’t know who he was at that moment. My head was swimming and the details were floating around me like an old-time film reel. I don’t even think I saw in color.”

“God.”

“After he’d packed, he went to his home office. I stood rooted in the living room, where I’d greeted him when he’d entered. I listened as he rummaged around for several minutes. Finally he returned and set a stack of papers on the coffee table. ‘Everything you need is here,’ he said. ‘The house is yours. Do whatever you want with it. The deed is in your name. The car is too.’ He didn’t even look me in the eye as he walked away.

“He paused for a moment at the door, his fingers on the handle. Without turning around, he said his last words. ‘I won’t be back. I promise. I’m sorry.’”

“Fuck.” Margaret lifted one hand and tentatively set it on Lori’s arm.

“Yeah, pretty much.”

“What’d you do?”

“I stood there for a long time until it grew dark. When I got too tired and my legs wouldn’t hold me up, I lay down on the couch and pulled the afghan around me. Hours went by before I cried. And then I never stopped for the entire night. I lay there sobbing like a baby, unable to comprehend what had happened.

“The next morning Jason showed up. The front door hadn’t even been locked. I was still on the couch in a pool of tears and saliva. I barely remember what happened over the next week as Jason dragged me through the process of living.”

“How did he know?”

“Jude told him. He texted him and told him to take care of me. Then he must have destroyed that phone because no one was ever able to contact him on it again.”

Lori took a deep breath. It felt good. Better than she expected. Getting that story off her chest and out in the open purged her of some of the pain. She’d never shared the tale with anyone. Jason was the only person alive who knew any of the details. Others at the club had known Jude left town, but none were privy to the nitty-gritty.

“I’m so sorry,” Margaret said.

Lori wrapped her arms around her current lover and tugged her down next to her. She needed human contact. It wasn’t fair and she had no idea what was going to become of them, but she needed skin on skin to make her feel alive.

Margaret easily complied, wrapping herself around Lori, stretching a leg across her body and kissing her temple. “It’s going to be okay.”

Lori didn’t believe a word of it and she doubted Margaret did either, but she slowed her breathing and eventually fell asleep in her lover’s arms.

Carlton sat in one of the plush, comfortable chairs in Jason’s office. It was noon and Jason hadn’t made an appearance yet. He was on his way, though. This, Carlton knew from a brief text that didn’t indicate whether or not Jason was already informed about last night’s antics or not.

In either case, Carlton was right where he needed to be. Waiting. Either he was going to be the informant or he was about to get an earful from Jason, filled with questions to which Carlton had no answers.

Sure enough, the door at the rear entrance opened and shut in just moments. Jason hustled around the corner into the office and paused when he saw Carlton lounging away in his space.

“Hey.” He smiled as he dropped his briefcase on the end of the table and rounded to his chair. “The traffic was crazy out there this morning. There was some kind of accident on the highway and—”

He stopped talking and lowered himself to his seat as he stared at Carlton. “You weren’t sitting in my office alone because you like the décor, were you?”

Carlton smiled, or tried to anyway. “Nope.” Clearly Jason was privy to nothing yet, which meant Lori hadn’t called him last night or this morning. Neither had Jude. Interesting.

Carlton sat up straighter, steepled his fingers in front of him and leaned on the desk. There was no easy way to start, so he jumped. “Jude was here last night.”

“Jude?” Jason froze. “Our Jude?”

“Do you know any other?”

“Holy shit. What did he say? How is he? Wait. Was Lori here?”

Carlton nodded. “She was here all right. She enacted a shibari scene with Maggie. Or tried to anyway.”

“What do you mean?” Jason shook his head.

“When Jude came in, he more or less took over.” Carlton flattened his hands on the mahogany surface in front of him as though it would ground him in some way.

“Oh, that doesn’t sound good.”

“It wasn’t. Well, to anyone else standing around, it seemed rather normal I suppose, but nothing about Jude’s presence was run of the mill.”

“When you say he ‘took over’…”

“I mean he stepped onto the mat and directed the entire scene as though he were Dom to both women.”

“Shit.”

“Exactly.”

“And you let him get away with that?”

Carlton rolled his eyes. “I wasn’t happy. Believe me. But Lori insisted. I think she was trying to save face. Half the club watched.”

“How did Lori take that?”

Carlton shook his head. “That’s the thing. It was weird. At first she rebuffed Jude, but then it was like she fell into a trance. She followed his demands just as she had years ago. Anyone who didn’t know them would never believe the three of them didn’t do this sort of thing every weekend.”

“How did Margaret react? I bet she was pissed.”

Carlton swallowed. He gripped his thighs with both hands and then shook his head. “Not really. She looked a little stunned and confused at first, but then Lori reassured her and she went along. A little too easily for a woman who doesn’t do men.”

Carlton stood and began to pace. He ran his hands through his hair and then swiped them down his face. He was tired. He hadn’t slept more than a few hours. His heart pounded from the visualization of what he’d witnessed. “Jude has a way…”

Jason chuckled sardonically. “Yes, he does. He’s a powerful Dom.”

A shiver made Carlton shake. “I’m kicking myself for not stopping him. Even though Lori gave me the evil eye.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself. When Jude is in a room, everyone takes heed.”

Carlton shook his head. “Not me.”

“And yet?”

“Okay, me too. But I didn’t like it. I didn’t watch the entire scene. I was needed at the front door. Besides, Lori brushed me off, making it clear she wanted no interference from me.”

“God. Lori must be stomping angry. They didn’t fight after?”

Carlton shook his head again. “Nope. Jude disappeared the second the scene ended. Never saw him again.”

“I better go check on Lori.” Jason stood.

Carlton bit his tongue to keep from saying the next words, but they came out anyway. “And Maggie. I’m sure it was the weirdest night of her life. Please…make sure she’s okay.”

Jason nodded. “Of course. You know I will. I think of her like my own daughter.” He paused. “Remind me why you call her Maggie exactly?” He grinned at Carlton.

Carlton shrugged. “Suits her. I like it.”

“Okay. Whatever.” Jason exited as quickly as he’d entered, leaving Carlton standing in the office alone. It was so quiet.

What he wanted to do was go check on the women himself, but that wouldn’t be appropriate since Jason was closer to them and the club owner.

Instead he slumped back into the chair he’d occupied before Jason arrived and tried to gather his thoughts.

Chapter Four

A rhythmic pounding noise shook Lori awake. She opened her eyes with a start and then squinted at the brightness of the room. What time was it?

The pounding happened again.

Lori rolled over and glanced at the clock. Twelve thirty. Lord. She never slept that late.

More pounding. Someone was at the door. Where was Margaret?

The house was silent. Maybe Margaret had left and forgotten her keys.

Lori pulled herself to sitting, her body reacting as though she had a hangover. She tried to shake the ache from her neck and head, but to no avail.

The pounding again. She grabbed the quilt off the bed and wrapped it around her naked body in a dash to the front door. Anything to stop the knocking.

When she opened the door, she found Jason standing there. He was shuffling back and forth on both legs, his brow furrowed. He exhaled when she stepped back to let him in. “What’s the matter?”

Worry crawled into her from every angle. He rarely showed up unannounced and certainly not with such insistence. Maybe something had happened at the club?

Jason looked her up and down, ignoring her question. “Were you still sleeping?”

“Yes.” She pulled the blanket around her tighter.

“And you aren’t even dressed?”

“Nope.”

“Jeez, woman. Go put some clothes on.”

“I would have if someone hadn’t been banging on my door as though the apocalypse had occurred.” Lori turned toward her room and left him standing in the entry.

She grabbed the first things she could lay her hands on, a pair of jeans and a sweatshirt. Not bothering with a bra or panties, she shrugged into the clothes and returned to the living room, finger combing her mess of curls.

“So who died?” She found him wandering around the room, looking too disheveled for her taste.

He turned toward her, spinning on his heel, and narrowed his gaze at her. “You tell me. I heard Jude was back in town.”

Lori opened her mouth and then closed it. She’d been ignoring that detail since the moment she’d opened her eyes, hoping it had all been a bad dream.

Of course Jason would have heard all the gory details first thing this morning.

“Did you talk to him?” Lori rounded the couch and plopped down, curling her legs under her.

Jason shook his head. “No. Otherwise I wouldn’t be asking you the tough questions. Did you know he was back?”

“Nope. Not until he waltzed onto my scene and took over.”

“That’s what I heard.” Jason took a seat across from her. “Was it bad? Are you okay?”

“It was… Hell, I don’t even know what it was and I’m—” She decided not to lie. “Nope, not fine.”

Jason glanced around. “Where’s Margaret?”

Lori ducked her head. “No idea. You know as much as I do.” Where
was
Margaret and why had she left without waking Lori? A chill went down her spine. How mad was Margaret in the light of day?

“Did he tell you what he was doing in town? Or how long he’s planning to stay?”

“No.” She lifted her gaze. “He didn’t say a word, except of course to point out my inconsistencies as a Domme and set me straight.”

“You know that was bullshit, right?”

She nodded. “Intellectually.” She looked away, trying to rein in her anger, fear, frustration…

“You’re a solid Domme in a fantastic, perfectly suited relationship. You know that.”

“Am I?” She looked around. “Are you sure? Where’s my sub now?”

The door to the apartment opened, and Lori yanked her gaze to watch Margaret step inside as though on cue. She let out a long exhale she hadn’t realized she’d been holding in.
Thank God
.

Lori stood, uncurling her legs and jumping up as though she’d done something wrong. She wiped her hands on her jeans. “Maggie.” She rarely called Margaret by that nickname. It didn’t suit their formal D/s relationship, but at the moment all she saw was her friend, who had to be hurting and possibly pissed.

Margaret nodded. “I went for a run.” She wiped her forehead with the tail of her shirt and kicked off her tennis shoes.

“Are you okay?” Jason asked.

“Of course.” She walked through the room to the adjoining kitchen without making eye contact with either of them. Moments later she returned with a bottle of water. “What’s the matter with you two? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Don’t be coy, Margaret. The elephant has already stepped into the room and shit on the floor.”

Margaret plopped down on the couch next to Lori. Not close enough to touch, but at least in the same vicinity. “Sorry.” She pulled her shirt over her head now and wiped her face with it. Sweat dripped down around her ears. Her hair was wet. She’d run hard.

While Margaret’s face was hidden, Lori stared at the woman she’d shared a life with for over a year. She was movie-star gorgeous. Any man would be ecstatic to have her. Her long, lithe body was perfectly sculpted. Sitting there in only her sports bra and track shorts, Lori had no choice but to admire her features.

Except Margaret wasn’t into men. Too bad for the male population. Many a man deflated in front of Lori’s eyes when they realized the woman was hers and unavailable to them.

Normally on a Saturday morning they would be in full-time D/s mode. Today was precarious.

“Have you seen him?” Margaret asked Jason.

“No. But I intend to.”

“We don’t even know where he is. Maybe that was it. Maybe he popped into Emergence last night, realized his stupidity and left town.” Lori didn’t believe that but she could hope.

Hell, the damage was probably already irrevocable. Even if none of them ever saw him again, he’d made his mark on their lives.

“I’ll make some calls,” Jason said.

“Don’t,” Lori responded. Margaret flinched at her side. “I mean, let it be. If he’s back, we’ll deal with it. If not…”
What?

Jason stood. “Carlton is fit to be tied.” He glanced at both of them.

“I’m sure he is,” Margaret said. “Tell him we’re fine and we don’t blame him for what happened.”

“Like he’ll buy that pack of lies.” Jason stepped to the door and then turned back. “Call me. I know you two have a lot to discuss, but please call me.”

Lori nodded.

In an instant he was gone and the apartment was silent.

Lori wrung her hands in her lap. “I’m so sorry.”

“You’ve said that. If you keep harping, I’m going to develop a complex.” Margaret stood and left the room. Moments later Lori heard the shower running.

Lori leaned back on the couch and stared at the ceiling. What the fuck was she supposed to do now?

She had no idea what Jude knew about Margaret. He could have spoken to Carlton, or any other member of the club for that matter, since she’d seen him. Would he leave her alone if he found out she was in a relationship, that she hadn’t been simply enacting a scene with a stranger last night?

No. If he wanted Lori back, he would fight for her. That’s the kind of man he was. No way would he bow out and leave things be. She knew him well enough to make that judgment. No matter what he ascertained from someone else, if he was back, he’d hunt her down and make every attempt to win her over.

Lori took a deep breath and let it out slowly. Her entire body tingled thinking about him. She closed her eyes and allowed herself to remember the feel of his hands on her body for the first time in two years. She’d never entertained memories of him since he’d left. To do so would have driven her mad.

And now…now he consumed her thoughts. “Shit.” She ran her hands through her hair and then trailed them down her body, grazing over her nipples before gripping her thighs.

Her heart rate sped and she pictured Jude gazing intently into her eyes. She pictured his hands on her breasts, pinching her nipples until they stood out stiff and sore. She loved the way he could bring her close to orgasm from the simple stimulation to her breasts.

Her breathing increased and her nipples rubbed against her sweatshirt. She hadn’t worn a bra when she was with him. Almost never. With the possible exception of certain clothes she wore outside the house, Jude preferred her breasts to be bare, always available to him.

Even when they were out of the house, he would pull her against him in the car and reach under her shirt to fondle her tits until she squirmed with need. He’d insist she remain still with her hands at her sides while he worked her into a state of arousal. He knew exactly how to time his attention to her chest just right so that the moment they arrived at their destination, she was a ball of need.

Lori squeezed her hands into tight fists and let them fall to her sides, remembering how he would step from the car as though nothing had happened and demand she follow him so fast she could barely make her legs cooperate with the command. Like jelly, she would wobble at his side, her pussy pleading silently to no avail for release.

Lori wanted to rub her pussy, let her fingers delve between her legs and press into the nub that now felt constricted beyond belief. But she couldn’t do it. Even masturbating to the memory of Jude felt like a betrayal of his orders. Orders that were old and in no way effective.

And yet, here she sat for so long her hands hurt from gripping them into fists. But she didn’t dare touch herself. As though the demands of a long-lost Dom still ruled her every waking moment.

She had no idea how long she waited. She couldn’t move. She didn’t even know what she would do if she stood. She was frozen in time. Waiting…for what?

Finally Margaret returned from her shower.

Lori jerked her head to see over her shoulder. Her neck ached from sitting there so long, stiff from lack of movement.

Margaret walked by without a word and headed for the kitchen. Seconds later she padded back down the hall with another bottle of water.

What the fuck was Lori supposed to do now?

She stood, wiped her hands on her jeans and headed for the master bath on resistant legs. Facing Margaret head-on was the only respectable way she could handle this. She leaned against the counter and twisted her hands while she waited for Margaret to dry her hair.

Margaret finally set the dryer down and met Lori’s gaze.

“I never meant for this to happen.”

“I know.” Margaret sighed. She put on the clothes she’d set next to the sink and reached for her comb. Her gorgeous black hair shone.

Finally she turned to Lori. She paused as though thinking about her next words.

Lori decided to spare her the confrontation. “I need some time.”

Margaret nodded and glanced down.

They stood in silence for long moments.

“I’m in love with you,” Margaret said.

“I know.” Lori squeezed her hands into fists. Damn Jude for putting her in this position. She’d been going along fine without him. One night and he’d shaken her to the core and made her doubt her position. Fuck him.

Margaret opened her drawer under the sink and began removing things. She stuffed them into her toiletry kit. “I’m going to go stay with some friends. You need to sort this out.”

“Yes.” Lori’s throat closed. Tears formed in her eyes. She was hurting the most important person in her life. And she had no choice. Now that Jude was in town, she had to find out what the hell he wanted from her. And she had to decide if she could risk her heart on him. She swallowed a mixture of aggravation and sorrow.

When Margaret paused to look at her, Lori stepped closer. She tentatively wrapped her arms around Margaret’s middle and held on for life.

Margaret returned the hug but not with the same amount of intensity she normally would have used. Before Jude. “I have to go.” She released Lori and scrambled from the room.

Lori didn’t move. She stood rooted to the bathroom tile, listening to Margaret as she quickly packed a bag. Margaret paused in the bathroom door before she left. “I love you. I hope you figure things out. I want the best for you.”

And then she left.

Jason pulled up to the rear of Emergence and stepped from the car before he saw the man leaning casually against the back wall. He paused for a moment as he shut the car door, his gaze landing on a larger, tanner, balder Jude than the one he remembered.

He ambled slowly toward the man who used to be his closest friend.

“Is she okay?”

Oh, so right to the chase
.

Jason unlocked the back door and stepped inside, Jude on his heels. “What do you think?” he asked without turning around.

“I didn’t mean for it to go down like that… Last night, I mean.”

“Really?” Jason turned on him as he entered his office. “And how exactly did you intend for it to ‘go down’? Did you think she’d be sitting at the bar, waiting for you to return to her side? Perhaps wearing your collar?” He circled his desk and tapped on the surface with one hand. “Or maybe you thought she’d be with another Dom or married with a kid and one on the way. What the fuck were you thinking, Jude?” His voice rose as he finished the line of questions.

Jude slumped into the chair Carlton had been sitting in the first time Jason entered the office this morning. Where was Carlton now? For his sake, he hoped the man was out to lunch or running errands.

Jude swallowed. “I didn’t think. It was stupid and irresponsible of me.”

Jason plopped onto his chair. “Ya think?”

“How bad is it?”

“The damage to Lori’s relationship with Margaret? Not sure yet. But that’s the only thing you should be concerning yourself with right now. Anything else isn’t yours to worry about.” Jason leaped up as anger coursed through his body. He rounded the desk and got into Jude’s personal space.

What he wanted to do was slap him, but he was too big of a man for that sort of behavior. “What the fuck is wrong with you, man? Who do you think you are? Do you know what you did to that woman? You broke her spirit, ruined her for other men. Fucked with her mind until she was a shredded shell of her former self. She’s finally whole again and she’s been in a committed relationship for over a year.”

He stepped away and paced back and forth to keep his hands from acting of their own accord. “Lori isn’t yours anymore. She’s moved on. I helped her for months to pull herself together. She’s. Not. Yours. Don’t toy with her.”