Box Out (11 page)

“Let's get this straight.” Seth finds Liam at lunch. “You quit varsity basketball because of a few prayers.”

“No. I quit because Coach lied to me. I didn't want to be on the team after that. And I'm sure Coach didn't want me to stay either.”

“Duh. You got him in trouble by going behind his back.” Seth sits down across from him. “And now you're playing with girls?”

“Yeah.” Liam takes a gulp of chocolate milk. “In practice.”

“You work your butt off to make varsity as a sophomore and then give it all up to play with girls.” Seth shakes his head in disgust. “That's insane.”

Liam dunks his grilled cheese in tomato soup. “I didn't expect you to agree, but you could pretend to try to understand.”

Seth pulls at a candy wrapper that's stuck to his shoe. “Coach Kloss called me up to take your place.”

“Congratulations.” Liam tries to sound sincere.

“That isn't how it was supposed to be. We were supposed to be on varsity together.” Seth looks up.

Suddenly Liam senses a presence behind him.

“Traitor,” Pelke growls.

Liam feels a poke in the back and turns. Drake, Gund, and Pelke tower over him. “What?”

“Traitor.” Gund pulls him up by the back of his sweater.

Seth starts to get up.

“Sit down, Crowley,” Drake commands. “We'll take care of this.”

Seth lowers himself back in his seat.

Pelke swings an elbow that cracks Liam's face. “I told you to leave it alone.”

“Betrayer.” Drake shoves him hard. Liam slams against the table, knocking over his tray and sending soup flying. Seth pulls back to avoid the mess.

“Don't bother to show up for work on Saturday.” Drake pins Liam's arms behind his back. “You're terminated.”

Gund puckers his lips and punches Liam in the gut.

Liam doubles over as his breath leaves his lungs. He grabs his stomach like he's trying to hold it in.

“Judas,” Drake hisses from behind.

“Hey, what's going on over there?” Mr. Einerson, the lunchroom monitor, calls from the far side of the cafeteria.

“Nothing.” Pelke holds up his hands.

“Break it up.” Einerson starts over and the three of them scatter.

Liam touches his nose and blood covers his fingers. He grabs a napkin from the table and hurries to the bathroom.

The fight happened so fast; it was over before he threw a punch. Three against one—more like a mugging than a fight. And Seth didn't lift a finger to help. He did exactly what Drake told him. Screw him.

That night the gym is packed, so Liam climbs the stairs to the balcony. With every breath, his ribs hurt. He can't find an open seat, so he stands in the corner listening to the crowd buzz with excitement. Where did all these people
come from? There are twice as many fans as for a boys' game.

“When we say, ‘Go,' you say, ‘Blazers.'” The cheerleaders work the crowd. Liam didn't even know the girls had cheerleaders. “Go.”

“Blazers!” the crowd yells.

“Go!”

“Blazers!”

“Go!”

“Blazers!” Feet stamp and it sounds like thunder. Plainview is second in the conference, but they don't look too confident now.

A roar erupts from the crowd as the Horizon players dressed in black warm-ups enter. They form two lines and their ponytails bob as they run down each side of the gym. Fans reach out to slap their hands as the band blasts out “Eye of the Tiger.” The two lines pass under the basket, and players slap hands with one another and then circle back to midcourt.

They split into groups and run three offensive players
against two defensive ones. Chloe passes to Iris, who bounce-passes to Jessica. Jessica passes back to Chloe, who nails a jumper. Iris and Chloe switch to defense, and Iris blocks a reverse layup.

A guy with a rainbow-colored wig, Mardi Gras beads, and a tie-dyed cape shouts, “Let's go, Blazers.”

Fans pick up the chant as drums pound out the four-syllable beat: “LET'S GO, BLAZERS!”

The Horizon players hold hands during the national anthem, and then the whole team gathers in a circle around Jack. The five starters peel off their warm-ups and make their own circle at center court with their arms around one another. Leah tells them something and they all laugh.

Liam watches Iris take her position at center court. Her short blond hair is tucked under a black headband and she looks sharp in her red-and-white uniform. The ref tosses the ball and Jessica tips to Leah. She spots an opening, drives to the hoop, and dishes to Iris, who gets fouled but still makes the basket. The crowd goes crazy.

“Way to go, Iris,” a man in a John Deere hat yells.

Liam claps. That's exactly the way they practiced attacking the Plainview defense yesterday.

Iris misses her free throw, and Horizon hurries back on defense. They play a one-three-one zone that confuses Plainview. Iris slides strong to the corner and Liam stands on tiptoes to see.

Leah goes to the line and nails two free throws. She runs a nice game. She pushes the tempo but stays under control. She doesn't force passes but finds the right player, and when she drives into traffic, space always seems to open for her.

After a steal, Leah waits on the wing as Iris fights through a screen. Leah passes the ball to her, and she passes it back. Leah points to a spot to remind Iris to demand it. Iris gets the defender behind her and raises her hand to call for the ball. Leah delivers it.

Iris turns quickly to make the shot, and the crowd roars.

Jack stands and forms an X with his wrists. Horizon puts on the press. Chloe smothers the Plainview guard and steals the ball. She passes to Leah, who scores the
layup. Plainview calls time-out with Horizon ahead eight to zero.

“Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.” Horizon cheerleaders lead the chant. “Sorry to beat you, but we must, we must.” Liam's never heard this cheer. It's almost an apology. Sorry we're so good.

Horizon goes up by fourteen, and Jack substitutes freely. The Plainview players look like they don't know what hit them. The band hammers out the beat to “Another One Bites the Dust” and fans sing along.

At halftime Liam goes down behind the bench where Darius sits with the girls' JV players. “Hey.”

“Where you been?”

“Upstairs. The place is jammed.”

“Jack said to save a seat for you.” Darius gestures to the spot next to him. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Darius must have heard about the fight. Liam sets his coat down. “What do you think so far?”

“Good start.” Darius nods. “I've been thinking about practice. We've got to beat the starters tomorrow.”

After school Wednesday, Liam stares at his locker. Pieces of white athletic tape spell out:

He looks around to see if Drake or anyone else is following him. The halls feel much more threatening since the fight.

He peels at the tape—the same stuff they use to tape ankles in the basketball locker room. He steps back and studies the letters. He peels off the top
G
and sticks it beside the other one. He tears smaller pieces of tape from the
F
and the
A
and arranges them. He has just enough.

It looks like a question, but it could also be an answer.

At practice, Chloe leads the team in looking up at the ceiling for Transition. Liam lies on his back and adjusts his shoulders. “Imagine the ceiling is the floor and you have to walk on it,” Chloe says. “Don't say anything and watch what comes into your mind.”

Liam's ready to run, to burn off some frustration, to beat the first five—not lie here. How come everybody else seems so comfortable on the floor?

“Try to focus on one thing as a way to slow your mind,” Chloe says softly.

He concentrates on the lights. What would it be like to walk among them? Would they be hot if you got near
them? How about doors? If the ceiling were the floor, the doors wouldn't be at floor level. You'd have to climb up to get out.

Staring at the ceiling does feel relaxing in a strange way. Liam's mind drifts to the upcoming scrimmage, but he brings it back to the ceiling and moving around in a different plane. Then it locks in on Drake, Gund, and Pelke and what's next. It's difficult to bring it back from that.

“Who's got Game of the Day?” Chloe asks as she wraps her hair in a headband.

“I do.” Leah raises her hand.

“What's it called?”

“Defend the First Amendment.” She moves next to Liam.

He looks around. Is he supposed to know something about this?

“Liam felt something at school was wrong.” She puts her hand on his shoulder. “He had a choice: Keep quiet or do something.”

Liam looks down as everybody stares at him.

“I know his mom so I'm not surprised he took a stand.” Leah turns to him. “Let's hear it for Liam for having guts.”

“Vada vim. Vada vom. Yom. Yom. Yom. Go, Liam!” The girls and Darius cheer.

Liam smiles. “Thanks.” The support of his teammates is huge.

Leah holds up two sheets of paper. “This is the First Amendment.” She bends down to lay one on the floor. “A copy will be set deep in each team's territory. The goal is to bring it back, but if you get caught, you'll go to prison. You can't get out until a teammate rescues you.”

“Like Capture the Flag,” Chloe says.

“No.” Leah shakes her head. “Like Defend the First Amendment.” She takes the second copy to the other end and splits everybody up into teams. “Go,” she hollers.

Liam races down the side.

“Nobody's touching this,” Jessica growls.

Iris sneaks up on Liam and tags his back. “Come with me.” She leads him to the corner.

He squirms to shake loose, but Iris wraps both arms around him tightly. Being squeezed by her feels kind of good.

“Help,” he shouts. He doesn't want to stand here while
everybody else is running around. Finally Chloe sees an opening and rushes to tag him before Darius can catch her.

“Thanks, Chloe.” He holds her hand as she leads him back to their territory.

“No problem, Jail Boy.” She laughs.

Everyone runs around the floor and goes in and out of prison, but neither team can get to the First Amendment.

“I'll run at Jessica,” Liam whispers to Chloe and Leah. “Then you race in from opposite sides. Iris can't tag you both.”

“Good plan.” Chloe runs to one side and Leah the other.

Liam darts in and avoids Darius. He comes up behind Jessica. “Give me the First Amendment.”

“Dream on.” Jessica lunges for him.

He jumps out of reach and slides to the floor. Iris rushes to tag him. “More prison time for you.”

Jessica stabs at Leah, but Chloe grabs the Constitution and races back. “I've got it. I've got the First Amendment.” She jumps up and down.

Jack gets up and sets his book down. “Starting five in red. We'll play first team to thirty.”

Iris takes off her white jersey and turns it inside out to the red side. She's wearing a tight T-shirt underneath that says
HOOPS DIVA
. Liam watches her slide the red side over her head. She's got a nice body. Then he remembers Jack's rule about respecting his teammates. It's not disrespect if he's respecting her body.

The scrimmage is intense. Darius keeps taking the ball hard to the hoop. It's obvious how much he wants to beat the girls today.

“Overplay his right hand, Leah,” Jack directs. “Force him left. Keep him out of the lane.”

Liam squeezes past Jessica for a rebound.

“Keep in front of him, Jess,” Jack calls. “Box out. You've got to keep a body on a good rebounder.”

Liam passes out to Nikki Martin, a red-haired senior who's Chloe's backup. She passes to Darius, who gets double-teamed by Leah and Jessica but still forces up a shot.

“Darius, if you're doubled, someone else is open,” Jack says. “Trust your teammates.”

Nikki passes back to Liam, who hesitates.

“Take it to the hoop,” Darius says.

Liam bounces the ball tentatively and Jessica slaps it from his hands. Leah grabs the ball and leads the break the other way.

“Do something with the ball,” Darius says. “Make a move.”

Liam turns away. He's playing hesitantly, trying to avoid a mistake, rather than making something happen. He holds his elbow against Iris's back on a switch. She pushes back, and he breathes in a mix of her sweat and perfume. It's surprisingly sexy.

“Trust yourself, Iris,” Jack says. “Demand the ball. This game is not complicated. You have to want the ball, and when you get it, if someone else is open, pass it to her.”

Liam slides around Iris to deny the entry pass. Her game is a lot like his. What Jack is telling her applies to him, too.

The action is fierce and by the end, Liam's dragging to get
up and down the court. The game is close, but the starters win on Chloe's three-pointer.

Darius slams the ball down. “C'mon, Liam. We need more from you.”

Liam kicks the ball across the gym. He needs to do more. He needs to trust himself. Like Jack says, he needs to demand the ball.

“Love is not easy.” Father Connell's deep voice carries through the church as he delivers his homily. “We are called to love one another. We are called to love those who are different from us. And because we are human, that is difficult.”

Liam flashes back to Mackenzie. She was different and he loved her.

“We must love others for who they are, not for who we want them to be.”

He loved being with her and holding her, but did he really love her? Maybe he loved the idea of having a hot girlfriend more than he actually loved
her
?

“Love is not something we do once and are set,” Father Connell says. “Love is an ongoing struggle to reach for our higher selves, to follow the example of Jesus Christ and to treat others in his image.”

Liam rubs his thumb against the palm of his left hand as light streams through the stained glass. Love is difficult. He loves his parents, but he doesn't always show them that.
They love him, but it doesn't always feel like that when Dad's disappointed or Mom's telling him what to do. The easiest person to love is Grandma. She loves him the way he is. Except on the days she forgets who he is.

“Lord, we pray to you,” Father Connell says. “Help us to follow Your commandment to love one another. Help us to follow Your example and give us strength as we move forward in love and humility.”

After church, Liam sits across from Mom and Dad at Connie's Cafe, their Sunday favorite. “How's practicing with the girls' team?” Mom stirs Sweet'N Low into her cup.

“Different.”

“In what way?” Mom sips and frowns.

“Jack's different. He's the coach, Jack Franzen. He reads books during Transition and Game of the Day and lets the girls lead them.”

“I wonder how long he'd last if they didn't win conference every year,” Dad says.

“Excuse me.” Mom waves the waitress over. “I hate to complain, but this coffee's cold.”

“I'm sorry.” The waitress picks it up. “I'll bring you a new one. What about you, sir?”

“No, mine's fine.” Dad catches Liam's eye. He never sends anything back. If he ordered chicken and the waitress brought him a hamburger, he'd eat it and think he should have ordered that in the first place.

Mom sees the look. “I can't help it if I like my coffee hot. Coffee is supposed to be hot.”

“What do
you
do at the girls' practice?” Dad asks.

“Everything. Well, not everything. Darius and I dress in a separate locker room. But we do Transition and Game of the Day and then we scrimmage. We run some of the upcoming opponents' plays and their defenses to help the starters prepare.”

“Do you miss boys' varsity?” Dad asks.

“No.”

“Not at all?” Dad looks surprised.

“No. I've moved on.” Liam twists his napkin. Dad must have had to explain to his friends why his son quit varsity. That must have been hard.

“I understand.” Dad looks down. “I thought you still might miss it.”

Liam hates it when Dad's right. Of course he misses the boys' team, but he can't admit that to Dad. The waitress brings their food and Liam drenches his buckwheat pancakes in blueberry syrup. The weight of Dad's disappointment hangs in the silence.

“Your dad thinks once you join a team, you have to finish.” Mom sips her coffee. “Isn't that right, honey?”

Dad cuts his waffle. “Yes, usually.”

“I couldn't do that, Dad.”

“I'm sure that's true.”

Liam chews a mouthful of pancake. It sounds like Dad's the one who really misses him being on varsity.

Monday afternoon, the wind bites as Liam hikes across the parking lot. He ducks his head and covers his face with a glove. When's it ever going to warm up?

Inside the car, he turns the key and shifts into drive.
Falump. Falump.
Sounds like he's run over a piece of metal.
Falump.
He pulls over and checks the tires. The driver's side looks fine, but the front passenger-side tire is totally flat. What lousy timing.

He hauls the jack and the spare from the trunk. The metal jack is freezing. He sets it in place and pumps the handle. He pushes on the tire iron, but the lug nuts won't budge. It's probably been a long time since they've been off, and the cold makes everything harder. He scans the parking lot for help, but nobody is around. There's a can of WD-40 in the emergency kit in the trunk. He shakes the can and sprays it on the lug nuts. He grabs the tire iron and presses with all his strength. Nothing.

He sprays more WD-40 and gives it time to soak in. He jumps from one foot to the other, trying to stay warm as the sun drops down behind a cloud. What a pain.

When he leans on the tire iron again, the nut slowly shifts, and he pushes with all his strength. He repeats the steps with the other three nuts and then removes the flat. He grabs the spare, lifts it on, and tightens it in place.

J & S Auto is still open, so he pulls in and shows the flat to
Steve, the mechanic. “Can you fix this? I must have picked up a nail.”

Steve rolls the tire around and finds a half-inch gash. “You see this? That's no nail. That's a knife slash. Any idea who'd do that to you? Is someone out to get you?”

“Yeah,” Liam says. “But don't say anything about it to my dad.”

When Liam walks onto the floor for practice, something's different. People are speaking softly and Iris has her arm around Chloe, who's wiping away tears.

Liam grabs a ball from the metal cage and dribbles down to Darius. “What's up?”

“Chloe broke up with Pelke.” Darius shoots an off-balance jumper. “She caught him making out with Trisha Norwood by the pool. She's taking it hard.”

Liam banks a shot in off the glass. Taking it hard. How else can you take it?

“He's a jerk,” Jessica says to Chloe. “You're better off without him. You deserve somebody decent.”

Chloe's still crying, so Jessica flexes her biceps to make her Scooby tattoo talk. “Ruh-roh. Bad behavior by Pelke. Rokay. Time to move on.” It's a good Scooby voice and Chloe laughs through her tears.

Liam's shot bounces hard off the rim and rolls down toward Chloe. He chases after it and detours over to her. “Sorry, Chloe.”

“Yeah.” She tries to smile.

“As bad as it feels, it will get easier.” He sounds like Dr. Phil. “Keep putting one foot in front of the other.”

“Thanks, Liam.” She dries her eyes on the sleeve of her jersey.

At the next hoop Leah and Iris are warming up. “How's Shea doing?” Leah bounces two balls at the same time.

“Still struggling.” Iris misses a left-handed layup.

Liam turns to Chloe. “Who's Shea?” Maybe talking about someone else will help.

“Shea Donnelly. She started on varsity last year.” Chloe rubs her nose and sniffles. “She's a great post player, and she and Iris are close.” Chloe tosses a shot from the lane
and Liam rebounds. “Her dad got this super important job with FedEx and they moved to Memphis over the summer. Shea hates it there. We all wish she was back here, especially Iris.” Chloe shoots from the side. “As well as we're playing, we'd be better with Shea.”

“Wow.” Liam rebounds the miss. “It's hard to imagine this team being even better.”

At the end of practice, everybody shoots free throws, and Liam partners with Iris. He bounces the ball and positions his feet. He likes this smaller ball. It makes his hands feel bigger, makes him feel bigger. His shot rolls in to make him fourteen of twenty, and he switches places with Iris.

“What's yours, Darius?” Jessica is going around asking everybody's middle name.

“James.” He swishes his shot.

“What about you, Iris?”

“Marie.” Her shot rims out. “My grandma's name.”

“How about you, Liam?”

“I'd rather not say.”

“What?” Jessica looks surprised.

“It's a family name on my dad's side.” Liam rebounds another miss by Iris.

“Well, lots of these are family names,” Jessica says.

“Tell us.” Chloe joins in. “Now we're curious.”

“Pass.”

“How bad can it be?” Darius asks.

“Bad.” Liam chases down another miss.

“Iris, let's try something.” Jack steps in and holds out his hands. “Sometimes it's helpful to mix things up.”

She passes the ball to him.

“You don't have to shoot from here.” Jack stands at the line straight out from the hoop. “Everybody does because it's the shortest distance. But you can actually shoot from anywhere in the circle behind the line.”

Jack fires from two feet behind the line and makes it. He's got a smooth shot. Liam rebounds the ball and throws it back. Jack moves over to the right side of the line and bounces the ball. “I played with a guy in college who shot his free throws from here. He didn't feel comfortable straight on, so he switched to the side and became a better free throw shooter. Try it.”

Iris goes to the right side, just inside where the line meets the circle. Her shot goes in. Liam passes the ball back. Her second shot hits the front of the rim, bounces up, and falls off. “That would have gone in if I was shooting straight on,” she says.

“Maybe,” Jack says, “but you're shooting from this spot now. Relax into it and make the shot.”

Iris aims and hits her third shot. “I kind of like it.”

“Shoot from here for a while and see what happens.” Jack moves to the next hoop to talk with Chloe. He says something and she laughs.

Iris swishes another one. “It's strange. I do feel more comfortable here.” She passes the ball to Liam. “Try it.”

He goes to the side. It's like shooting from Thailand in Around the World. That's always been one of his best shots. He makes the first one. “I like it, too,” he says. “I didn't know you could shoot from here.”

“Me neither.” Iris passes the ball. “That's why Jack's the coach.”

When everybody finishes free throws, Jack carries out a cardboard box. “At the start of the year, you got prose,” he
says. “For the playoffs, you get poetry.” He reads out names and passes out books.

Liam looks around. Poetry at basketball practice? What's next? Knitting? Sharing feelings in a circle? Why aren't people complaining? He tries to catch Darius's eye, but he's talking to Leah.

“Liam.” Jack gives him a book, and Liam studies the Post-it note.

Inscriptions—One's Self I Sing, page 5
Song of Myself—pages 25 to 68

“These books are for you to keep,” Jack says. “Read them. Write in them. Think about them. I want you to memorize a poem, a section of a poem, or some lines that mean something to you. I'll meet with each of you in two weeks to talk about it.”

Liam studies the green cover.
Leaves of Grass
by Walt Whitman. Homework at basketball practice. Whoever heard of that? He walks over to Darius, who's paging through his book. “What did you get?”

“
American Sublime
by Elizabeth Alexander,” Darius says. “I've never heard of it.”

“I've never heard of
Leaves of Grass.
” Liam opens the book to a picture of a man with a long white beard. Why did Jack choose this book for him? It's like unwrapping a gift from your parents and not knowing if it's something you want or something they think you need.