Bracing the Blue Line (40 page)

MADDIE HAS BEEN seeing a counselor, working through her issues. Things got worse before they got better. It was like acknowledging it made her even more conscious, and she snuck around to overexercise. We argued a lot over it, too. I would catch her at the gym, drag her away, and it always ended with her being angry and hurt. After a huge argument and her passing out from having not eaten enough on top of being dehydrated, Maddie started being more cooperative.

She scared me to death, enough that I didn't want her running the 5K today because she would've stop training for it then. We compromised instead. She stopped exercising at the gym and only ran a certain amount four days a week, and I had to be with her. Maddie didn't like me shadowing her though. I had to start running with her so it would feel more like I was doing it with her and not watching her.

Since the incident and since Maddie has accepted that she needs help, she seems happier and most definitely healthier. Her sessions are better, more helpful, and she took me with her for a few sessions. It allowed me to understand her better, even though I never spoke a word. She wanted me there as a quiet support, so I was. After that, she felt good going on her own, and she didn't want me there anymore.

With the 5K over, her exercise routine will cut back to three times a week, including running because of how much she ran. The counselor has even introduced her to another person with similar struggles, and they workout together in a healthy way. Her new friend and counselor often support her in ways I can't because I don't understand. I always know when she's going to talk to either of them because Maddie says, “I want to talk to someone who gets it, Winston.” One day, she'll hopefully feel like I “get it” enough for her to talk to me more than she does. It's working for her, and that's all that matters.

She's also learning that she can eat whatever she wants, in moderation as she constantly reminds me, and still be fit. Skinny is a word she doesn't use anymore. So is fat. Maddie wants to be fit and healthy instead. Her mindset has finally turned, and she is learning how to adjust to that kind of lifestyle.

The Kennedy brothers haven't been bad roommates either. Grant and I teach kids hockey at a local rink, and it pays the bills for us. If I thought Neil and Bo were private, they have nothing on these brothers. They share nothing of importance, only small talk about sports usually, but it works. I'm not buddies with them or anything, so I keep to myself most of the time. Grant can be the social one of the two of us.

“I kind of want an ice cream,” Maddie says thoughtfully, glancing at me. We've just finished lunch with Lucy and Grant. Desserts and junk food are the hardest for Maddie, so anytime she says she wants some, I give her the same answer.

“We can split one, if you want.”

“Mm, I think I want one too,” Lucy adds. With Lucy ordering one, it helps Maddie do the same. Sometimes, it's hard for her to even say she wants one, much less order it herself. It makes me proud to watch her order us one to share. “Are you coming to the game tonight, Maddie?”

“Yeah, my brother is coming up to watch, and I'm going with him.”

Dave and I have slipped back into our friendship, but the details of my relationship are off limits at the request of them both. She doesn't want me telling him, and he doesn't want to hear most of it. Maddie hasn't really spoken to him since he showed up last month, but she wants to make amends between them and go back to normal.

We only have a few games left this season, and instead of getting that end-of-season tiredness, we're more pumped than ever. Coach has been giving us great pep talks, Neil has been playing even better than he has all season, and we feel unstoppable. It's a good feeling to have with the season coming to a close. What's even better is that Maddie is mine, she's healthier, and I still have my best friend.

MADDIE AND DAVE hug awkwardly. She asked me to stay, in case she needed a quick escape. We're about to all ride over to the game together and Dave just arrived.

“Can we talk first?” Maddie asks him.

He glances behind her to me where I'm leaning against the driver's door to my car. “Yeah, of course.”

“I want us to go back to normal. All of us,” she adds, looking back at me. “You're still my brother. You don't need to be cautious over what you say. Be sincere and nice and we'll be fine. I want you to stop treating me like a kid. Be my brother, Dave.”

He nods. “Okay. I'm sorry. I'll work on it.”

“Thank you.” Maddie steps so she can see us both. “Now, you two need to stop being weird when we're all together.” She's right that he's weird, but me? I didn't think I acted any differently. “We're not going to have sex in front of you, Dave. He's not going to burst into flames if you hold my hand, Winston. You're best friends. Stop all your extra thinking and be that. Stop thinking of me as the sister when you're around each other. Be best friends, okay?”

I glance to Dave, who smiles. “I always knew you were bossy,” he teases.

Maddie laughs and I add, “She calls the shots, that's for sure.”

“That's more like it,” she says.

It'll take some time for us to find a normal for all three of us, but it'll happen. Maybe Dave and Maddie will have a better relationship than before too. We're slow going, but all we're looking for right now is progress. Dave hugs Maddie one last time to officially make up for all the wrong doings. With a smile, Maddie takes my hand and says we better get going.

BO PLOPS DOWN next to me on the couch. We haven't really talked since that night we fought. He hasn't been with me to see the Lanier's but once or twice when Alice said he better show up.

“I'm sorry,” I tell him. “I was an ass and drunk.”

“I'm sorry too. You aren't selfish, or at least, not in the way I intended. You're going to be a great father, Neil. I've always known that from watching you with Alice. So yeah. Sorry for what I said.”

I nod, clearing my throat. “This mean you'll be her uncle Bo?”

Bo grins. “Someone has to teach her how a winger is better than a forward.”

I laugh. “Thanks.”

Liana is supposed to be here any day now, so you can imagine how anxious I've been. Audra seems calmer than me. She's driving me almost to insanity, though. She's ready for Liana to come, and she seems more emotional than ever. From the time I talk to Bo to the time I leave for my game, I've almost made her cry three times and each time, I said something nice! I'm beyond ready for this game tonight. It can let me escape just for a bit.

Coach builds us up for another win, reminding us of our jobs on the ice. As soon as he gives the order to get on the ice, my phone rings. The guys glance my way at the sound. It's Audra, so I answer.

“Babe? What's up? The game is about to start? Everything okay?”

“Neil,” Mrs. Garcia says. So wasn't expecting to hear her voice. “She's gone into labor. She asked me to tell you that she knows it could still be awhile, but-”

“She's crazy if she thinks I'm staying here,” I breathe.

Mrs. Garcia laughs. “That's not what I was going to say. She wants you here as soon as you can get here. She's panicking a little and said she absolutely will not have this baby until she talks to you in person.”

“Okay, I'll be there soon.” When I turn away from my locker, the entire team is staring at me. None of them have left the room yet. “I have to go. Sorry, Coach.”

He smiles. “Don't worry about us. You've led this team all season. They are strong enough to win without you here, thanks to you. Keep us updated.” Words of congrats spread through my teammates before Coach booms, “Alright, let's go! We have a game to win and Neil has to go officially become a dad.”

I grin. Baby girl is finally on her way.

ALL I CAN manage to think about is how beautiful my daughter is. Liana Grace Lawson entered the world at 7 pounds 2 ounces. Right now, she's sleeping in my arms while her momma sleeps. The nurse will probably come for her soon. My parents and the Lanier's will be stopping by in the morning and Audra's parents will be back too, I'm sure.

“There's the new dad,” Bo's quiet voice comes from the doorway. Almost the entire team is with him, as well as Lucy and Maddie.

“What are you all doing here?” I whisper.

“We came to tell you that we won, to check in on everyone, and to congratulate you,” Winston says.

“She's beautiful,” Grant tells me.

“Thanks,” I smile.

“She looks like every other baby I've ever seen,” Vincent comments.

I hear someone hit him in the stomach, and I softly laugh.

“She's so cute,” Lucy says, peering over Bo's shoulder.

“You're in a different world now,” Bo tells me. “She already has you wrapped around her finger,” he adds with a grin.

“Sure does,” I nod. “Thanks for stopping by, y'all. It means a lot.”

They congratulate me again before leaving. The nurse comes for Liana, and I look down at her one more time. So unbelievably beautiful. I don't want her to leave my arms ever, but she'll be back. My perfect baby girl. All the things I'll teach her as she grows up flash through my mind. How to walk, talk, and skate barely scratch the surface. It hits me as hard as if I were punched in the gut that I truly have a family now. The Lanier's, the Garcia's, my parents, Audra and now Liana are all part of my family. My life is going to be amazing, and it's all starts with my baby girl. I really hope her first word is Daddy.

AS ALWAYS, I need to thank my wonderful beta readers for giving me their time to provide fantastic feedback for my guys. Thank you Andrekia, Heidi, Louise, Lucy, Michael, and Rachel.

A huge thanks goes to one beta reader in particular. Thank you, Heidi, for help my struggling self give this book a title that I'm in love with and fits perfectly.

Thanks to Kim C. and Jessica P. for choosing the names, Winston and Maddie, for me to use in this book!

Kathy from K² Editing, thank you for working with me, my deadlines, and for those little comments you leave while editing.

I really need to thank Alisha from Damonza for designing a cover that met my wants and couldn't be more perfect. Thank you for always being a pleasure to work with and for being so accommodating.

Lastly, I need to thank Mary Smith. You're my best friend, my writing BFF, and you get me. You're not only helpful with my everyday problems, but you help me with my writing worries.

LINDSAY PAIGE IS the author of the Bold as Love series,
Don't Panic
,
You Before Me
, and
Bracing the Blue Line
. She is also the co-author of The Penalty Kill Trilogy.

She has three passions in life: reading, writing, and watching hockey, especially the Pittsburgh Penguins. Among the pile of books to read, stories to write, and games to watch, Lindsay is also focused on completing college.

Lindsay resides in North Carolina and is inspired by world around her and the people in it. Many of the aspects in her books stem from her love for hockey and her struggles in life and with anxiety, as evident in
Don't Panic
.